Support NeoGAF

[Bullet Club]

Blackburn man caught pleasuring himself for 40 minutes in pub beer garden after snorting five lines of cocaine

A 35-YEAR-old man performed a sex act in a pub beer garden.

Blackburn magistrates heard Michael Brian Scott was pleasuring himself for 40 minutes before he was arrested.

Scott, of Mosley Street, Blackburn, pleaded guilty to outraging public decency. He was sent in custody to Preston Crown Court to be sentenced.

Catherine Allan, prosecuting, said Scott had a previous history for obscene behaviour and had previously been jailed for 32 weeks for outraging public decency.

"He was in the beer garden of Clitheroe Kate's on Mincing Lane and people were constantly walking past," said Miss Allan.

The court heard Scott had been drinking and had snorted five lines of cocaine before committing the offence.

Richard Prew, defending, said Scott couldn't explain his behaviour.

"He has been working as a fork lift truck driver for the last two years and lives with his partner who sits at the back of court," said Mr Prew. "She finds his behaviour difficult to explain."

Source: Lancashire Telegraph

Michael Brian Scott

 

[The Elite]

 

[AV]

This story's 3 years old, but he's still a hero in my eyes.

 

[Bullet Club]

This story's 3 years old

So it is. Just popped up on Facebook for some reason.

 

[AV]

So it is. Just popped up on Facebook for some reason.

It's a favourite of mine, along with these two blokes who went for a "wet pint" in my local that same year.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34836397/leeds-pub-garden-floods-men-go-for-pint-anyway

 

[Noboru Wataya]

Check out this meme roflcopter

 

[Bullet Club]

It's a favourite of mine, along with these two blokes who went for a "wet pint" in my local that same year.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34836397/leeds-pub-garden-floods-men-go-for-pint-anyway

LOL

 

[Pagusas]

what exactly is a beer garden?

 

[Clear]

what exactly is a beer garden?

Open-air area outside a pub where patrons can drink and smoke freely.

 

[Patrick S.]

Man, Clitheroe Kate is such a slut.

 

[Shifty]

British as fuck.

 

[Greedings]

40 mins? That must have been some seriously boring porn.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

I’m just here for the memes

 

[Scopa]

what exactly is a beer garden?

A field of dreams.

 

[Papa]

 

[Gander]

HMB while tug on this snake.

 

[Ailynn]

Thought I would share this...

 

[Mohonky]

This happens every day at The Beat, only reason is not news is because well, ita nothing new

 

[Wag]

4 lines is my limit.

 

[TrainedRage]

This story sounds like my weekends.

 

[Captain Zyrain]

40 minutes. Forty minutes.

Excellent stamina.

 

[Scopa]

4 lines is my limit.

Amateur

 

[Ichabod]

40 minutes. Forty minutes.

Excellent stamina.

Talk about an edgelord.

 

[Cunth]

its always the fifth line that gets you

 

[Papa]

40 minutes. Forty minutes.

Excellent stamina.

Probably had epic whiskey dick

 

[ph33rknot]

Probably had epic whiskey dick

I prefer the term coke cock

 

[Chittagong]

Clitheroe Kate's, of course

 

[LordPezix]

Snortin Coke and Gettin Woke.

 

[Alter_Fridge]

Snortin Coke and Gettin Woke.

Snortin coke and public stroke

 

[haxan7]

He shoulda went home to his partner and given her the best sex of her life.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

He shoulda went home to his partner and given her the best sex of her life.

 

[Menavanes]

Are you talking about the man in the photo?Are you talking about the man in the photo?

 

[haxan7]

Are you talking about the man in the photo?Are you talking about the man in the photo?

I don't get your reference

 

[LordPezix]

Snortin coke and public stroke

Ah man yours is leagues better than mine. I was going for pseudo SJW bash but you laid it out nicely.

 

[BANGS]

I prefer the term coke cock

Hey girl, want some of this powder chowder?

 

[Queso de Grande]

40 minutes? Were they hoping he would just finish and leave?

 

[Frank Spencer]

40 minutes?!

Spoiler

Hold my beer!

 

[iconmaster]

40 minutes? Were they hoping he would just finish and leave?

It's like a car alarm. If it's done in a few seconds, no one cares. If it goes on for a few minutes, people get irritated. Cross the half-hour mark and someone's gonna call the police.

 

[lil puff]

How exactly did they know it was 40 min? Was someone just sitting there with a stopwatch?

 

[BANGS]

40 minutes? Were they hoping he would just finish and leave?

 

[Scopa]

40 minutes? Were they hoping he would just finish and leave?

They were probably petrified.

(NSFW)


“Come on dog, your hitting my elbows!”

 

[off duty ninja]

40 mins? That must have been some seriously boring porn.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Don’t ever suggest AA to this man lol

 

[jonnyp]

"Clitheroe Kate's on Mincing Lane" made me laugh more for some reason

 

[Scopa]

"Clitheroe Kate's on Mincing Lane" made me laugh more for some reason

So very English.

 

[Mr Hyde]

Sounds like compulsive masturbation disorder. Or just a lot of fucking coke.

 

[lil puff]

you guys are cracking me up in here.

Made my day a little better.

I'll be back in 40 minutes, I ummm... have something to do.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

you guys are cracking me up in here.

Made my day a little better.

I'll be back in 40 minutes, I ummm... have something to do.

 

[camelCase]

Surprised at people calling a 40 minute yank abnormal. I can pull that shit off no problem.

Probably had epic whiskey dick

Yeah, trying to finish up drunk is a big part of it, and coke/speedy drugs are the same way in my experience. Like, you can seriously go for hours on a come down, you feel awful and there's nothing better to do, cuz you surely ain't sleepin. The only way I can knock off a quick one is by rushing it and treating it like a medical condition