Exactly.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Man whoops his nephew's ass for Facebook related shenanigans (video)
- Thread starter Ninja Scooter
- Start date
- Status
Exactly.
And creating an environment in which you raise this kid using communication, when you remove spanking as even an option early on, you find other ways to lead your child in the right direction. It's not... do nothing, and if they are bad... do nothing. It is change the entire mentality of raising a child, and spankings - even in the twisted idealized way some people in this thread perceive it, become unnecessary.
In short, don't hit your kids, you shouldn't have any reason to - and if you ever feel like you think it's required, it's a failing on your part as a parent - both for getting to 'that place' and for even considering it as an option.
Let me guess, you don't have kids?
Dreams-Visions
Member
holy shit. :-(
sometimes fear is enough to keep people "straight" long enough to grow up. sometimes not.
when my second child at around age 1 and a half or so kept playing with power outlets, I eventually smacked his hand to stop him from doing it. I can't see where we failed prior to that action. The child new what he was doing, knew what he was doing was not allowed, but kept doing it. I guess my other option was to let the outlet injure or hurt him so that he could learn his lesson.
Oh I'm sorry, are only parents allowed to decide as to whether or not beating a child is a good idea? What about a substantial amount of developmental psychologists?
OR, you could remove the child from an area that had live power cables, until they got old enough to understand why they shouldn't play with them. That's an option. Or get child safe outlets - or who knows how many other options.
They shouldn't have filmed a video.
U obviously don't have any children.
Damn you beat me to it.
Yes, you are a failure and need to put your child up for adoption. Immediately.
Etrian Oddity
Member
So that's a no.
I keep my children in the house.
As for child safe outlets, if you mean plug covers, he removed them. They're pretty useless, feel sorry for the child that can't figure out that hurdle.
You can't truly relate to something unless you're in it. But that's just my opinion.
The big problem is that the family is located in NEW ORLEANS. It has one of the worst murder rates in America. I'm sure some of it was the allure of 'being cool' to the kid, but I'm sure part of it was protection. If you're in a gang infested environment and you don't belong to a gang, you're open prey. The Uncle tried to stop it, but the kid probably went back to school, most of his friends are gang members. So many people around him are gang members. Those type of people are pretty much what he knows, so he keeps getting pulled in.
A lot of times, the only way to get these young guys who join gangs to learn is for them to be shocked when they start noticing a lot of their friends getting killed, to have a close encounter themselves, or to be sent out of that environment. It's unfortunate that it happened.
A lot of times, the only way to get these young guys who join gangs to learn is for them to be shocked when they start noticing a lot of their friends getting killed, to have a close encounter themselves, or to be sent out of that environment. It's unfortunate that it happened.
That's especially true of parenting, from what friends have told me. Still, I can't see cracking one day and deciding to hit my kid.
http://www.childoutletsafety.org/
How about getting physically disciplined when I was growing up? Does that count? Can you refute my logic, the logic of many many child/developmental psychologists, or does your argument start and end with "You don't know until you're a parent" -
News flash, parents are not infallible.
I can count in one hand the amount of times I got spanked. I can honestly tell you that after the crying was done I knew not to do whatever I did again. I would have turned out an asshole if I didn't think my actions had consequences. That said I did wrongly get spanked one of those times. My dad was a dick about touching expensive electronics. So I wasn't allowed to change the channel. One day the tv started acting up and turned off and on randomly. Of course when the tv turned on it was back on 3. We couldn't change the channel so I kept watching. My dad whipped my behind only to have it happen to him later. He felt so ashamed that I could do pretty much anything for years and not get in trouble. I slowly worked up getting badder until one day I went to far and got the belt again. After that I was pretty much a good kid.
It's not a bad thing to show your kid an example of what happens when it goes wrong. It would've been better if you had explained that there's electricity in there and what would if he touched it, then proceed to show the kid, say a piezo crystal zapper and play with that till it zaps, or you just zap the kid to show what happens. That would be better than a slap out of anger because the kid doesn't listen to you, which is what most of the people who slap their kids do.
I guess that's a good option for some, but I'm not a homeowner. And that doesn't seem to make it any less of an issue if the child is playing with a plug (in and out) in a live outlet.
But I also don't like the idea of altering something rather than changing a child's behavior. Like putting reverse locks on a front door to deal with a child who keeps opening the front door. Slapping/hitting is not my go to solution of course.
msv, he was 1 and a half, barely old enough to understand that he was misbehaving.
As someone who has a baby girl on the way in March, I can tell you as a fact that your stances on SOME things will change. It may or may not be spanking, it might be breast-feeding. Who knows dude. But you CANNOT relate to a parent, you can't relate to the stress, you can't relate. Get over it.
To all the parents in this thread, pray for me. LOL
Totally fair and honest standpoint to take.
You don't have to be a homeowner, unless your landlord says no, don't install childsafe plugs (I don't know what kind of landlord would say that).
I would even go as far as to ask - are you sure that smacking your kids hand away that one time is a failsafe deterrent, would you trust your child to still not do so? I would not - I would look for other ways to prevent it from happening. Basically, I don't know how to say this without criticising your parenting... but to me, I wouldn't feel as though that smacking away of the hand is in anyway necessary, I would not get peace of mind from doing so.
You're not a parent either, and you're telling me I don't know what I'm talking about?
More importantly, what you've said is even MORE reason to understand that parents are infallible. They get stressed, frightened and who knows what else - and that can really affect your ability to make an intelligent decision - you might even have to train yourself to not resort to physical discipline, because it might come to you instinctually.Dreams-Visions
Member
a whole lot of things probably shouldn't have happened. that kid was too old to learn a lesson from a spanking.
and lol @ the last page of anti-spanking zealotry. there is both a fine line and a clear difference between spanking and beating. the difference lies in the volume, purpose, intent and follow-up. It's quite true that spankings without any sort of additional communication directed to teach a "better path" will end up lost. But when augmented with clear purpose and a plan to correct behavior, it's been an effective tool.
The problem--as with many such things--is that not every parent has the necessary "follow through" to give real value to these moments. Spanking should not (but can and sometimes does) become a "disciplinary crutch" to parents who refuse to learn how to talk to their children...and that's why the studies posted read like they do. The problem isn't the spanking; the problem is the often correct implication that the parents that are spanking are sometimes the parents that never learned how to talk to their kids and elicit better behavior. In other words, many parents that spank do so because they don't know how to or understand the value of talking to them in a way that encourages better behavior....but there are also many parents who spank that can do both! The later is the least effective form of teaching discipline, where the later is, IMO, the MOST effective...but probably the most rare.
So while I have no problem with the spirit of what the Uncle in this story was trying to communicate to his nephew, if he failed to follow that up with the necessary actions to bring his behavior under control by non-corporal means (giving him something to do with his time, putting a limit on internet access, encouraging good behaviors, even switching schools if necessary) then his message would indeed ring hollow.
Lastly, blaming the Uncle's spankings for the kid's death (as I've seen in this thread from some absolutely embarrassing posers) is the height of intellectual immaturity. You people know absolutely nothing about this family other than that the kid was getting out of control and had at least one (and maybe only one) family member that truly cared about his future. We have no insight into what kind of relationship they had.
BigBlue1974
Member
I was beat as a child, not just spankings but just stuff that even today I feel went over the line.
However, I am not against spanking and have had to do so in the past with my 2 year old. He was constantly being a bully at daycare and hitting one of the other kids whenever he didn't get the toy he wanted or just to be mean. We put him on timeouts, he'd cry, but the next day he'd still do it again. We were actually warned that he might not be allowed at daycare anymore. I finally decided to give him a spanking and keep in mind this is a kid with diapers so it was more the trauma of the experience than the physical side. He's never hit another child again at daycare.
However, I am not against spanking and have had to do so in the past with my 2 year old. He was constantly being a bully at daycare and hitting one of the other kids whenever he didn't get the toy he wanted or just to be mean. We put him on timeouts, he'd cry, but the next day he'd still do it again. We were actually warned that he might not be allowed at daycare anymore. I finally decided to give him a spanking and keep in mind this is a kid with diapers so it was more the trauma of the experience than the physical side. He's never hit another child again at daycare.
Let me ask you a simple question - do you think that spanking, even your version of spanking (which did not happen in this video) - is necessary for child rearing? Do you think it's possible to raise a child without it?
Ah my bad, that is indeed too young to really understand. Though it's also too young to be sure that a slap will work. Might be a good idea to get some extra safety there just to be sure.
would the landlord have to pay for it? I'm well beyond that phase, and my shitty windows would be a higher priority but that's still interesting.
I agree that it doesn't give you peace of mind, but it was the immediate solution to a constant problem that was posing a threat to his safety I thought. Don't worry about offending, the kid's ten now. It did work though.
turnbuckle
Member
Would you tell your wife to sit in the corner, or in time out, or take away her internet connection, or tell her she couldn't go to her friend's house, or anything else either? It's fine being on either side of this argument, but apples and oranges.
This is such a tragedy
freenudemacusers
Member
did you read past um page 8
Bumblebeetuna
Banned
Wow, this article makes it even sadder. So he was just a target of a gang because he took a picture with someone the gang hated? Fuck people in this world are so stupid sometimes.
and lol, someone is in here trying to compare disciplining a child to spousal abuse. Dumb ending to this story all around.
You're not a parent either, and you're telling me I don't know what I'm talking about?
I really wanna hope that you're joking here. LOL.
MWS Natural
Member
YOU! YOU MONSTER!! WHAT A TERRIBLE PARENT YOU ARE!!!
Indeed.
Those of us who weren't have no need to come up with tortured rationalizations to explain why our parents just had to beat us and have no vested interest in defending it.
I think that a lot of posters use "spanking" to mean different things. For some of us - including myself and I think you - it means "getting hit on the butt a few times with an open hand." For some posters, they act as though being beaten with closed fists or a switch is a "spanking" or a normal, expected occurrence. Some posters would call that video a "spanking."
But I don't pretend that the spankings I received were ever necessary. The spankings I had from the time I can remember, at least, were not good parenting; they were a failure of parenting.
dragonelite
Member
Dont know but if i look back at how i was when i was growing up 4~11 and 14~19(puberty
) it would be a living hell for my parents. Especially the 4~11 time period you know before the internet not sure. When the only thing you had was friends and playing outside. Did some stupid thing like putting things on fire and shooting on people and cars with pea shooter. And as a parent i wonder how they could handle me with only talking and not spanking.
Good, you didn't immediately spank him, you took the steps and acted accordingly.
samus i am
Member
Sounds like good parenting to me.
BigBlue1974
Member
Yeah, I didn't feel that I overreacted or anything. Some in here(likely without kids) see it as such a horrible thing if you ever do anything, even a swat on the backside. Then again he was doing this in daycare and that's another whole can of worms for some people!
EYEL1NER
Member
Damn, this was a crazy thread. I didn't see the date on the OP, so I went into the video thinking the kid got the shit kicked out of him. Seeing what actually happened, I left the video thinking 'Hopefully it did some good for him.'
Then I saw the date and figured something had happened recently. Was not prepared for what happened to the kid. Hopefully his family is going to be okay through this.
Then I saw the date and figured something had happened recently. Was not prepared for what happened to the kid. Hopefully his family is going to be okay through this.
Count Dookkake
Member
I feel bad for the uncle.
- Status