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Married-GAF, how many tries did it take?

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GhaleonEB said:
I married my 3rd girlfriend. First relationship was an intense, destructive 14 months through the end of high school. Second one lasted just a couple dates, and I ended it as we were really not compatible.

3rd time was the charm; 15th anniversary coming up this month.
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Wow. *_* Congrats. 15 is solid.


zeemumu said:
How long did it take to lose the weight?
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Honestly? I'm not sure, but it was hella rapid when I started noticing. Maybe a 6 month period? I can only imagine one reason why, and it's not a pleasant reason. I mean, Japanese food is way better than US stuff, but it was only when I stopped stressing over it so much and just drank beer that it happened, so... :P


kswiston said:
Thanks for the clarification. I was curious because I had weight issues in the opposite direction. I was 6'5", 155lbs in late high school and early university, and I know that the (mostly good natured) teasing didn't help with my confidence at the time. I have since gained about 40lbs, but I don't think people really noticed. It's still nice to fit into dress clothes a bit better though!
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The teasing would suck a lot. I find that guys get teased more, girls ignored. Both kind of wreck you in special, internal ways. :( Congrats on your gains, though! At 6'5" 155 is really noticeable (to think I used to almost weigh as much as a guy more than a foot taller than me...), so even if no one said much, I'll bet it felt good. Hurray for clothes that flatter finally! :D

zbarron said:
2 if we are only counting serious long term adult relationships. My wife and I just celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary on Tuesday and our four year anniversary of the day we met on Monday.


Congratulations. I went through something similar. I lost a lot of weight in late high school but instead of feeling happy about the new interest girls found in me, I ended up feeling bitter that they were all over me now but wouldn't give me the time of day just months prior.
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Awww... I guess we all redirect it differently. Sorry it felt so bad at first, but with a wife and a 3 year anniversary it sounds like things worked out in the end.
 
Mr. Serious Business said:
What was it about Japan that you think made you lose a lot of weight? I always hear from people that moving to or visiting Japan caused them weight loss, always wondered what the major reasons were.
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Maybe the food is shite. I lost a ton of weight too when I was in Japan, and I was only there for 2 weeks.
 
Mr. Serious Business said:
What was it about Japan that you think made you lose a lot of weight? I always hear from people that moving to or visiting Japan caused them weight loss, always wondered what the major reasons were.
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Guys tend to lose weight there very easily because the portion sizes are smaller and it's higher quality stuff, plus fish is big (obviously) and rice > bread. Add that to waaaay less soda and Japan usually hits the guys hard in terms of weight loss. For girls, it didn't seem to affect us much, and I had tried even doing half portions my first year there, but it wasn't until well into my second year that pounds started disappearing, and I can only guess that all that fish/shellfish had something to do with it... though not for the immediate reason that most would think. :P
 
speculawyer said:
Tootsie+Pop+Owl.jpg
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This combined with my expectation that this would be an anal thread.

"Gaf how many tries did it take before she let you try anal"
 
DJ_Lae said:
Two to four, depending on how serious we're classifying them.
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Pretty much this. I went out with one girl for three years and another for almost seven before I got together with my wife. A couple others that were less serious but still important to me.
 
I only gained weight in Japan (oki) but I was a food deprived kid on R&R from Iraq so I guess that was to be expected. I stand by my first answer... You know when it's right and you know when it isn't
 
Got engaged when I was 22. The relationship ended about 6 months later because of numerous factors. It has been a few years, and I still her around town with her partner.
 
Not counting high school or college, I guess it was three serious relationships before I met my wife. Plus a lot of dating.

edit: I feel like I should mention that I moved in with my now-wife a month after we met. :P

Congrats H.P!
 
ComputerMKII said:
Wasn't there a GAFfer who defended girls marrying at 15 (or even as young as 9)? What happened to him?
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Solidsnake. Banned, dunno for how long, for the comments you're referencing. It was in a thread pertaining to child marriages (read: slavery for girls) in the Middle East.
 
I had 2 long, serious years-long relationships before I found the right one, plus some shorter ones of course. I don't think the marriage would've worked if I hadn't had gone through those experiences and grown up a bit.
 
As in girlfriends? Holy shit I've been a serial dater since high school. Probably 30+ before I found The One but the frequency slowed down as I got older.
 
I had 5 serious relationships (longer than 1 year), 3 semi serious (6 months to a year) and a number of non starters (<6 months).

No disrespect to people who only have one or two partners (or even marry their first), but how do you know that there isn't someone better? With little to no frame of reference you can't truly know that you have your ideal relationship or partner? Serious question, do you not ever wonder what it's like being with someone else (sexually or otherwise)?
 
Was with a girl for 6 years before she cheated on me and broke my heart. Been dating a Portuguese girl for just a few months now but I 100% know I will marry her.
 
Just the one. We met and started going out when we were 18, got engaged at 25, and got married last year at 27.

We just fit one another. The two pieces of the world's easiest jigsaw.
 
Dot Matrix said:
I had 5 serious relationships (longer than 1 year), 3 semi serious (6 months to a year) and a number of non starters (<6 months).

No disrespect to people who only have one or two partners (or even marry their first), but how do you know that there isn't someone better? With little to no frame of reference you can't truly know that you have your ideal relationship or partner? Serious question, do you not ever wonder what it's like being with someone else (sexually or otherwise)?
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If you're really happy with the person you're with, I don't see why you need to look for someone better.
 
Sobriquet said:
Not counting high school or college, I guess it was three serious relationships before I met my wife. Plus a lot of dating.

edit: I feel like I should mention that I moved in with my now-wife a month after we met. :P

Congrats H.P!
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Same here. I've been with my wife for 16+ years and moved in after a month of dating. I was 21 at the time. Almost 40 now. We both dated and had multiple partners prior to getting married.
 
terrisus said:
Why does anyone want anything in their life so badly?
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If you ask me why I want the things I do, I would be able to give a specific answer.

I sometimes feel that marriage has become the default that some people don't really reflect on.
 
Dated too many to count, would say I loved at least 3 plus the girl I never dated but was friends with and could've loved. Doesn't include my wife who I met literally my last week of college.

Now married 10 years.
 
terrisus said:
I proposed to my first girlfriend when I was 15.
Diamond ring and everything.
She broke up with me after around 8 months =(

After that I dated maybe half a dozen or so other people, for varying lengths of time.

After that, I met my wife at 19.
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Proposing to a girl at 15? WTF

If I was that girls father I'd veto the shit out of it
 
I subscribe to the idea that there isn't just "the one" who can make you happy. I don't mind commitment, but I won't kid myself into thinking this is my only chance at happiness.
 
Ken Masters said:
Proposing to a girl at 15? WTF

If I was that girls father I'd veto the shit out of it
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as others have said, there's no point. Getting angry and putting your foot down will just make them more determined to do it, result in kids running off, lots of drama, etc. Which is PROBABLY what couples that age are looking for anyway.

15 year old relationships are destined for collapse more often than not (especially if those involved plan to head off to college) so smiling, nodding, and letting it naturally self destruct is the more prudent course of action.

King Mac of Furry Frog said:
I subscribe to the idea that there isn't just "the one" who can make you happy. I don't mind commitment, but I won't kid myself into thinking this is my only chance at happiness.
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no one sane thinks this. There's 7 billion people on the planet, 300 million+ in the US, and only so many personality types- a dozen? two dozen? most people have millions of potential partners that would work just fine, and somehow most seem to find their "soul mate" within a very limited geographic region. Conveniently close to where they live, frequenting the same bar or church, in the same classroom, or two cubicles over at work.
 
Only one of the four before I met my wife would I have ever considered marriage material. We actually left each other I rather decent terms, but the other three were batshit insane.
 
one_kill said:
If you're really happy with the person you're with, I don't see why you need to look for someone better.
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If you genuinely believe they are the best person for you, then great. Personally I like to experiment and try different things before deciding what is best for me. What I thought I wanted and was important in a partner when I was young have drastically changed.

I know people who married their first love and ended up miserable as they both changed over the years and ended up wondering what else was out there. I also know people who married their first love and still seem to be happy. I’m glad I played the field first though, got to have the excitement of a new relationship multiple times.

But that's just me.
 
Dot Matrix said:
If you genuinely believe they are the best person for you, then great. Personally I like to experiment and try different things before deciding what is best for me. What I thought I wanted and was important in a partner when I was young have drastically changed.

I know people who married their first love and ended up miserable as they both changed over the years and ended up wondering what else was out there. I also know people who married their first love and still seem to be happy. I’m glad I played the field first though, got to have the excitement of a new relationship multiple times.

But that's just me.
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What if you realise that first person was the one you were happiest with? You probably won't be able to get back together - that person will have moved on.

Glad things have worked out well for you though. :-)
 
Started dating my wife when we were in High School. We only got married when we were in our 30's though, and were on and off between then. I knew she was 'the one' only after seeing how nobody else really compared to her in the long run.
 
3 serious relationships and then popped the question.
My problem was I had low standards at the beginning of my dating life.
Hey! This girl has no major problems with the law. Shes a keeper! Pfffft
Hey! This one finished highschool. Pffffft
Hey! She speaks english.

Yeah, wtf was I thinking.
 
Manmademan said:
as others have said, there's no point. Getting angry and putting your foot down will just make them more determined to do it, result in kids running off, lots of drama, etc. Which is PROBABLY what couples that age are looking for anyway.

15 year old relationships are destined for collapse more often than not (especially if those involved plan to head off to college) so smiling, nodding, and letting it naturally self destruct is the more prudent course of action.
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Might be true, but, I'd question what let this to happen in the first place. I'm guessing some sort of family issues looking for stability, overbearing religion or something along those lines. 15 year olds don't typically go around proposing. And this isn't a "she's the one" thing, she's barely learned how to do long division.

I have a soon to be 8 year old daughter, if I have to deal with people trying to propose to her in the next 7 years, there's going to be some drama.
 
From age 14 to 29? God... 100+?

I was deeply in love 3 times, smitten around 10, and the rest were all trying to find Ms. Right and fucking.

EDIT: Been married 10 years now, 2 kids. I sowed all my wild oats back when it was appropriate.
 
bigwinnerx said:
Might be true, but, I'd question what let this to happen in the first place. I'm guessing some sort of family issues looking for stability, overbearing religion or something along those lines. 15 year olds don't typically go around proposing. And this isn't a "she's the one" thing, she's barely learned how to do long division.
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Barely learned how to do long division at 15? Yikes, talk about behind in development.

And, I'm definitely glad you weren't my parent, assuming I must have some kind of issue to be doing that.
 
bigwinnerx said:
Right back at ya. You'd be met on my front porch.

I hope you found some help, seemed you needed it.
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Not really.
Married nearly 6 years, and have been with the person I'm married to since I was 19 (is that old enough? I could do Calculus then!)
 
Too many to count. A couple were willing to put up with my shit but only one piqued my interest enough to marry. I think I made the right call.
 
Blood Red Sky said:
What if you realise that first person was the one you were happiest with? You probably won't be able to get back together - that person will have moved on.

Glad things have worked out well for you though. :-)
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Love is always a gamble. In my case I rolled a 6. For me it would have been worse always wondering 'what if..'
 
bigwinnerx said:
Might be true, but, I'd question what let this to happen in the first place. I'm guessing some sort of family issues looking for stability, overbearing religion or something along those lines. 15 year olds don't typically go around proposing. And this isn't a "she's the one" thing, she's barely learned how to do long division.

I have a soon to be 8 year old daughter, if I have to deal with people trying to propose to her in the next 7 years, there's going to be some drama.
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you'd be surprised. I remember people running around "engaged to be engaged" to high school boyfriends and girlfriends all the time. They see it on whatever shows, movies, and books they consume and want to imitate the behavior- combined with raging hormones.

most don't run out and buy rings, because those are KINDA expensive, but the intent is there, flawed as it is.
 
H.Protagonist said:
And, the appearance change wasn't drastic exactly, but it was very noticeable. I went from 135lbs to 105lbs, so the stoutness disappeared, my face didn't look like a moon anymore, and everything thinned out quite a bit (those thighs that I thought would never slim...). I went from a size 12 to a size 0, so the clothes became a lot more flattering as well. It felt like almost overnight guys started taking an interest, and then I started taking an interest as well.
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As in Cushingoid face, or some figure of speech that the face looks round? Craters in the face?
 
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