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MAXIM: "Sequels That Ruined The Original"

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S

strafer

member
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

The original 1986 film Highlander was awesome. Christopher Lambert strutting around New York City with a broadsword in a crazy sorcery flick where “There Can Be Only One.” We could watch that over and over. That is, until 1991 comes around and Highlander II: the Quickening takes a steaming dump all over pretty much everything we learned in the first one. You too can be all powerful! You just have to try really, really hard! Sigh. And this franchise just keeps piling on the dung with more and more sequels. Yeah, turns out we wish there could have only been one.
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Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man hit theaters in 2002 and helped to kickstart the awesomeness of comic book movies that we see everywhere today. Spider-Man 2 came along two years later and turned out to be even better than the first film. Then Spider-Man 3 decided to give not only the first two films, but all of Peter Parker’s established mythology, a huge middle finger. Oh, and that whole thing about Uncle Ben’s murder which actually gave Peter his entire moral code of “with great power comes great responsibility.” Turns out it was Sandman’s fault all along and he’s really sorry about it. Wait… What?!
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The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The Matrix revolutionized the way sci-fi films were made and became one of the most killer examples of action filmmaking in a long time. It made the Wachowskis instant Hollywood icons, made Keanu Reeves cool again and left fans with the image of Neo as “The One” who was meant to save all of humanity. Then 2003 came along and The Matrix got “Reloaded” and “Revolution’d” which is a fancy way of saying that Neo isn’t actually the god he was in the first film, he’s completely lost, and he’s planning to end the war with the machines by doing some paperwork. Oh, and he can probably die. Nice job, Wachowski brothers siblings.
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Duuude, Keanu has always been cool, stfu! :(

Live Free Or Die Hard (2007)

One of the coolest things about the Die Hard films was the fact that John McClane (Bruce Willis) was just some grumpy cop who was good with a pistol and could crack wise at the drop of a hat. Live Free or Die Hard decided it was time for McClane, a cop nearing retirement age, to sip a little super hero potion, learn parkour, and become a poor man’s Jason Bourne. Plus we had to watch Kevin Smith “act” and the flick was rated PG-13 which meant McClane’s classic line was changed to “Yippee-ki-yay, buster!” Weaksauce.
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I actually liked Live Free or Die Hard.

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Ivan Reitman’s 1984 classic Ghostbusters might just be one of the greatest comedies of all time. It’s funny, and thrilling, and features an all-star cast of ghost-catching eccentrics. They also know how to kick a little ass in the form of an enormous Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Moments before the credits rolled Winston exclaimed “I love this town!” That love was short-lived because Ghostbusters II turns the heroes of New York into down-on-their luck schlubs who must perform at kids’ birthday parties, run a dirty bookstore and host a ridiculous psychic show. It’s no surprise that a rumored third film has been in development hell for years. Actually, we’d prefer to watch the damn cartoon with Slimer.
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Alien 3 (1992)

Everyone's excited for Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel, Prometheus (check out our review), because the original film is one of the most terrifyingly awesome sci-fi horror hybrids of all time. The sequel (Aliens) is an sci-fi action classic. And then along comes part three, which negates all the cool parts of the previous movie. Hicks? Dead. Newt, the little girl? Also dead. Their deaths happen before Alien 3 begins. We know Michael Biehn dies a lot in movies, but come on! We deserve a better Aliens sequel! And Alien:Resurrection sure as hell didn’t help things either.
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Terminator: Rise of the Machine (2003)

1984’s The Terminator features an ass-kicking Arnold Schwarzenegger sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor and help eradicate the human race. The film led to an equally awesome sequel called Terminator 2: Judgment Day. More Arnold. More killing. And more cyborg on human discord. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, however, pretty much blows an enormous gaping shotgun hole in the entire plot of the previous films. All that awesome “bringing down Skynet” stuff in T2 was now completely worthless, Miles Dyson sacraficed himself for nothing, and yet they’re still intent on only sending one Terminator back in time. The sad There-Is-No-Hope message of T3 is what single-handedly led to the Emo movement.
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Rocky V (1990)

We’re not about to deny the fact that Sly Stallone is the man. Dude has earned the ability to do whatever he wants. But when he handed in his script for Rocky V didn’t anyone say, “Um...this is kind of sad, Mr. Stallone. Why not try a rewrite or two?” Turns out Rocky’s epic triumph over Drago in Rocky IV gave the Italian Stallion brain damage. That means Russia really won, right? We assume that very brain damage is the same thing that gave Stallone the idea that real life horrible boxer Tommy Morrison could actually act. At least Sly had the good sense to redeem himself with 2006’s Rocky Balboa, where he put a proper cap on the series and pretty much acted like Rocky V never happened.
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Source: MAXIM

Jurassic Park 3 anyone? Horrible, just horrible.
 
B

blame space

Banned
spiderman356k.gif


had to.

jurassic park 3 was godawful
 
J

JdFoX187

Banned
I don't necessarily think they "ruin" the originals. They're just not as good. Though a couple of those, the franchises weren't that good to begin with.
 
S

Squall5042

Member
I'm still fascinated that people liked the first two Spiderman movies. I laughed through the first one in the theater; it was god awful.
 
S

strafer

member
Regarding TLW.

I usually turn it off when they reach the chopper and fly off the island, that's where the movie ends for me. The San Diego stuff is pure insanity.
 
G

GitarooMan

Member
There's a surprising amount of Ghostbusters 2 love around here, so I bet that gets some talk. I think the movie is dogshit compared to Ghostbusters so I agree with its inclusion
 
M

massoluk

Banned
Alien 3, dude.
The girl DIED. That soldier DIED. Ripley later DIED. Have fun watching Aliens without thinking now that all the struggles to suvive are just pointless.
 
F

FairyD

Member
I still rage about Spider-Man 3.

The rest of the movies on that list I'll give a pass, even Alien 3, it wasn't as bad as Spider-man 3. Shit, Rocky V was better, at least Rocky Balboa let the series end on a good note.
 
J

James Woods

Banned
Spider Man 2 was awesome when I was 16. That entire franchise is stupid. Also, hate for the first Highlander is growing and it pisses me off. That movie was awesome.
 
S

Speedymanic

Banned
Theatrical Alien 3 or DC Alien 3? If it's the latter, fuck you Maxim. If it's the former, I agree....to a point.

Ghostbusters 2 ruined the original? Da fuq?
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
I can't be the only one who wondered aloud why Vampires need flashlights on their guns in Blade 2.

Edit: And obviously, TMNT 3 basically killed the theatrical series for over a decade.
 
D

Dram

Member
I agree with the Spider-Man 3 reasons. I Don't see the point of changing it since it brought nothing to the table. It just made Spider-Man look like a jerk, for not saving the crook when he fell out the window.
 
J

Jack Scofield

Member
I can't believe any publication, even MAXIM, would publish an article with the words "awesomeness" and "weaksauce." How embarrassing and pandering to the nerd demographic.
 
D

distantmantra

Member
Volimar said:
People didn't like Ghostbusters 2?
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I remember seeing Ghosbuters II on opening day with my Dad. It was one of the first times where I was absolutely disappointed by a movie. It didn't diminish my love for the original film and the animated series, though.

I also remember seeing Alien 3 on opening day with my Dad and feeling really bummed about what I saw.
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
Dram said:
I agree with the Spider-Man 3 reasons. I Don't see the point of changing it since it brought nothing to the table. It just made Spider-Man look like a jerk, for not saving the crook when he fell out the window.
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I love that Mary Jane actually called him on it though. "That was an accident, he slipped!"


Jack Scofield said:
I can't believe any publication, even MAXIM, would publish an article with the words "awesomeness" and "weaksauce." How embarrassing and pandering to the nerd demographic.
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I don't think that's the demographic they're going for with those words. MAXIM is about as "dudebro" as a mag can get.


THE NO LIFE KING said:
Ghostbusters 2 is shit????


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!

Why no Transformers 2 in this list?
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That which is dead can never die.
 
W

wenis

Registered for GAF on September 11, 2001.
People that don't like Ghostbusters 2 have a couple screw's loose. That means William Murray as well.
 
S

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
I remember no big differencies in theatrical and "director's" cut of Alien 3 except shitty audio quality. Loved the movie as the first one.

also the only piece of media that belongs to this thread is Mass Effect 3. Movies are not interactive, they can't ruin the original.
 
D

Double D

Member
Man, I really need to go back and watch the Alien Movies. I watched them when I was younger, and only gave a shit about the action, so I remember all of them as being awesome. Now I've got everyone talking about how shitty Prometheus is and it's just bumming me out.
 
T

TheNatural

My Member!
Only Matrix 2&3 ruined the original, because you can't watch the 1st without thinking how it ends. The rest are mostly stand alone sequels, and also not as bad as they say.
 
C

ConfusingJazz

Member
Jack Scofield said:
I can't believe any publication, even MAXIM, would publish an article with the words "awesomeness" and "weaksauce." How embarrassing and pandering to the nerd demographic.
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To be fair, I am surprised Maxim still exists.

TheNatural said:
Only Matrix 2&3 ruined the original, because you can't watch the 1st without thinking how it ends. The rest are mostly stand alone sequels, and also not as bad as they say.
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Their first point stands: Neo is supposed to be a god, the man who bends the matrix to his will. So, what did he learn to do with these fantastic powers between the first and second movies? Nothing.

Actually, he regresses, he can't shatter agents anymore, nor bend light around him. Granted, shattering agents turned out to be a bad thing, but he didn't know that at the time.
 
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NullPointer

Member
No Phantom Menace? The movie which retroactively "ruined" the force and turned it into something biological? Something you can measure from a blood test? Prequel, sequel, shmequel.
 
B

brucewaynegretzky

Member
Gonna have to echo the sentiments about Ghostbusters II.

There are very few weeks that go by that I don't have a reason to say "Two in the box, ready to go, we be fast, and they be slow!" (Sometimes the reasons are made up....)
 
S

Salvadora

Member
NullPointer said:
No Phantom Menace? The movie which retroactively "ruined" the force and turned it into something biological? Something you can measure from a blood test?
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Don't know if prequels count but that would be up there. 2 is even worse and I don't agree with anyone who likes the third.
 
T

ToxicAdam

Member
wenis said:
People that don't like Ghostbusters 2 have a couple screw's loose. That means William Murray as well.
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Ghostbusters 1 gave us a hilarious, massive marshmellow man that is exploded at the end.

Ghostbusters 2 gave us an evil painting that was defeated by people singing.


GB 2 was a cheese-fest and by 1989, that ship had sailed.
 
S

Speedymanic

Banned
massoluk said:
Alien 3, dude.
The girl DIED. That soldier DIED. Ripley later DIED. Have fun watching Aliens without thinking now that all the struggles to suvive are just pointless.
Click to expand...

I like that aspect of it. No matter what you do to survive, it's ultimately pointless.
 
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