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Move Over, Butt Stuff: Hand Jobs Are Back

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Hand jobs are amazing. Nothing like having a tug while they look at your junk in amazement like something magical is about to happen.
 
This is 2016. It's time for Robot hand jobs

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Not as intimate as oral sex, still makes the dick worthless afterwards if you want to move onto something more. And the comparison to butt stuff? C'mon.

Only good if you're in for a non-mutually reciprocated quickie.
 
Man, I'm sad gaf is kinda down on handjobs. My wife must have dropped a lot of skill points in this.

It's not that it's not a good skill to have, but it's inefficient party makeup for her to invest heavily into it when just rolling a male character gives you an +100 baseline bonus. You've already got that covered in your party, so her points there are kind of redundant :(
 
A bit confused at the "I can do it better myself so it's not worth it" responses. If you don't enjoy it, okay sure. But like if I've had far more practice rubbing my clit and fingering myself than my partner has, it doesn't mean I'm gonna tell him not to even bother or think it's a waste of time.
 
All you handjob haters, does that include when it's part of foreplay? Or just when it's on its own?

I think it's somewhat standard as a part of foreplay. What I imagine everyone's problem with it is if it's a solo hand job with no escalation. At least that's my problem with it. I can jerk my own dick off I don't need a chick to do it start to end.
 
A bit confused at the "I can do it better myself so it's not worth it" responses. If you don't enjoy it, okay sure. But like if I've had far more practice rubbing my clit and fingering myself than my partner has, it doesn't mean I'm gonna tell him not to even bother or think it's a waste of time.
At the risk of generalizing the biology of strangers, there's generally less art to male stimulation, unless you get into a methodology that most people wouldn't describe as a simple handjob.
 
A bit confused at the "I can do it better myself so it's not worth it" responses. If you don't enjoy it, okay sure. But like if I've had far more practice rubbing my clit and fingering myself than my partner has, it doesn't mean I'm gonna tell him not to even bother or think it's a waste of time.

Most guys are spent after 1 or 2 ejaculations, we don't wanna waste it on something we can do ourselves. HJs as foreplay is fine, but it shouldn't be the finale.
 
Handjobs are the worst.

One day you'll find a nice girl (or guy) who takes pride in a nice handjob & will do everything possible to turn you on & make you squirm uncontrollably while telling you exactly what she (or he) wants to do with you.

And all you morons saying blowjobs are better will finally realize just how wrong & childish you've been your whole lives.

#teamhj
 
Most guys are spent after 1 or 2 ejaculations, we don't wanna waste it on something we can do ourselves. HJs as foreplay is fine, but it shouldn't be the finale.
Guess that makes sense. And I also read it as no handjobs at all even as foreplay. D:
 
I honestly don't think I've ever gotten a good HJ... always feels like they're trying to yank my dick off. BJs are great but I don't really finish with them. Intercourse is best by far.
 
I don't think any (or many) of us are against a little hand action as a part of something more, but a handjob is just jerking a guy to climax. The mouth is right there, ain't nobody got time for that.
 
One day you'll find a nice girl (or guy) who takes pride in a nice handjob & will do everything possible to turn you on & make you squirm uncontrollably while telling you exactly what she (or he) wants to do with you.

And all you morons saying blowjobs are better will finally realize just how wrong & childish you've been your whole lives.

#teamhj


Breh handjobs stop being a thing in my life after being out of my teenage years. Go take your pg 13 sex somewhere else.
 
It's not that it's not a good skill to have, but it's inefficient party makeup for her to invest heavily into it when just rolling a male character gives you an +100 baseline bonus. You've already got that covered in your party, so her points there are kind of redundant :(
What if you're gay tho
 
I think one of the most intense facts I know about the titanic was that it sunk in less than three hours. It takes me at least one bottle of wine, and several glasses of Gin, drunk slowly. That probably takes me 2 hours of drinking. Then I have to make sure the girl I love has had a proper shower, then I do. But when I do go down, it's so musky. And I gag.
 
Hand jobs are good but blow jobs are great. My wife feels the same.

Hand jobs are for foreplay or when you stink at the end of the day and too lazy to shower so nobodys putting their mouth down there
 
Listen, I enjoy a good handjob... it's usually in the middle of sex while we're changing positions, but that brief 15 seconds works wonders.

However, the most amazing handjob only equals an okay blowjob.

When my significant other goes down on me? Heaven.

When I bust one off and she keeps going, doe?

tumblr_n3btn4J6RW1r0jlbgo1_400.gif
 
The only people who could possibly think handjobs are better than bjs either

1. Jerk their dick way too often and never get bjs

2. Got some shitty head. I've had teeth scrape the edge of my head so hard I ended the blowjob. That blowjob was bad, but oh my lawdy their are some magical mouths in this world. Have you ever experienced a bj so magical that your body is vibrating afterward; your butthole pulsating like a fish gasping for air?
 
Assholes and buttstuff will always be the way. Hand jobs are boring, I can kind of manage them with lube but man... Blowjobs are so much better.
 
One day you'll find a nice girl (or guy) who takes pride in a nice handjob & will do everything possible to turn you on & make you squirm uncontrollably while telling you exactly what she (or he) wants to do with you.

And all you morons saying blowjobs are better will finally realize just how wrong & childish you've been your whole lives.

#teamhj

Are you fucking insane? Handjob over blowjob? Really???
 
God did bestow one fateful gift upon this world, the ability for man to experience a bj with a finger prostate massage.


in nomine patris et filii et spiritus sanctus
 
The only people who could possibly think handjobs are better than bjs either

1. Jerk their dick way too often and never get bjs

2. Got some shitty head. I've had teeth scrape the edge of my head so hard I ended the blowjob. That blowjob was bad, but oh my lawdy their are some magical mouths in this world. Have you ever experienced a bj so magical that your body is vibrating afterward; your butthole pulsating like a fish gasping for air?

07WQw8e.gif
 
I used to not like handjobs, they didn't do much for me. My current girlfriend has been leveling up that skill lately though, so it's really working for me now, particularly if both bands are involved.
 
So has anyone looked at the correlation between circumcision and liking handjobs? I'm just saying I think it might be less effective for dudes with an exposed donglehead and no protective sleeving. Like the level of expertise required to operate such a device might be higher so good handjobs might be more rare?

Things being things though, I don't know handjobs are really low on my list of things I want other people to do to me. Their technique just does not rival my impeccable 24 years in the making masterstroke. You want to talk 10,000 hours for expertise, I've probably spent close to twice that mastering my form. At this point I'm like a jedi knight of dick stroking.
 
The only people who could possibly think handjobs are better than bjs either

1. Jerk their dick way too often and never get bjs

2. Got some shitty head. I've had teeth scrape the edge of my head so hard I ended the blowjob. That blowjob was bad, but oh my lawdy their are some magical mouths in this world. Have you ever experienced a bj so magical that your body is vibrating afterward; your butthole pulsating like a fish gasping for air?
3. Have different sexual preferences than you

I mean I would probably say something similar as you if a person said he didn't like eating Pizza. Probably just had shitty pizza in his life. But nonetheless, I know there are some people out there that genuinely don't like pizza. It's just something we have to accept.
 
no one in the Sexual Accounting Department really counts hand jobs when racking up your "number.”

I wish I could unread this. I'm going to remember it every time I hold hands with my girlfriend.
 
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