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My asshole's never been tighter, looking at engagement rings

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Man reading these posts makes me happy that my girlfriend doesn't want a massive wedding or an expensive ring. She straight up picked one out a couple of weeks ago that was like 200 bucks but she liked it :P

Don't go more than 1-2K OP. Diminishing returns and all that jazz.

Keep the rest for the wedding/honeymoon!
 
As a married man, don't spend that much on a ring. I spent less than 500 on my wife and she loves it. Spend the rest on your honeymoon.
 
OP two pieces of advice.

See if she's into other stones other than diamonds. It's not uncommon for some women to wants a different stone for engagement now.

If you're going with a diamond, go to Costco if you can. Seriously. Same standards as Tiffanys. Everything is platinum, I color minimum, VS2 clarity...I saved about 2.5k buying the ring at CostCo.

Only downside is they are one size only (7) so you might need to get it resized.
 
Marty Chinn said:
Nowhere does the OP says he has to finance it. He is just looking to. Plus your hard line definition seems to imply people can't afford the houses they live in or the cars they drive because they finance them. Most people don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars on hand to buy the house or even the tens of thousands of dollars to pay for their car but they can afford to make the payments easily and not be hurting for cash doing so. That to me is being able to afford it. So if the OP can easily make the monthly payments and isn't strapped for cash, the fact that he's financing it doesn't mean he can't afford it.
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A car and house aren't really comparable to a ring.
 
CornBurrito said:
A car and house aren't really comparable to a ring.
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We're talking about the principle of financing and what it means to be able to afford it. Financing doesn't automatically mean you can't afford something. A house or a car proves that. Plus, the OP has already stated he can afford it and that he's financially sound. He's even taking advantage of 0% interest which is great. No reason to pass up a free loan if you're responsible.
 
8k for some shit that just gonna fall out into the sewer as the narrative hook in the newest disney princesses movie OR get accidentally stuck up some horses butthole when she says she has to stay late at work but she's actually in some weird dominatrix furry violence orgy.

Either way it's for sure gonna get lost and finding it is going to lead to an adventure.
 
The Horror the horror said:
Interesting, where does one find antique rings? I'm very interested, thanks.

A lot of people in this thread have criticized the wisdom of spending that much on a piece of jewelry, particularly because I don't have the means to buy it up front without sacrificing my present savings and investments. I've spent a lot more than 8k total on things a lot of folks would call a humongous waste of money, on hobbies closely related to the theme of this community, in fact.

I will talk to her and her closest friends on this matter. Depending on what I gather from them, I'll adjust my budget accordingly. Unfortunately, one thing I won't be able to adjust is the timetable, as she's expecting a proposal soon after being in a relationship with me for 4 years. While the prospect of finding myself in debt once again (so soon after paying off my student loans) concerns me, I can make such a short term sacrifice if it comes down to that.

Oh, ONE OTHER QUESTION: A few have recommended getting the diamond and band separately. Is it because it's more cost effective?
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I think with my friend there was just an antique store in his town. You can google nearby antique stores or I assume you can get some online. Etsy or similar sites might be a good place to look.

I bought my finance's ring at a chain ring store, the band and diamond were separate. I think doing it separate allows for more options with getting the band price down (gold bands should only cost a few hundred bucks). Also If you get both the diamond and band at the same place they will mount the diamond for free.
 
Deadly Cyclone said:
I am also ring shopping but my girlfriend wants me to save as much as I can on the ring. She wants aquamarine as the main stone (her birthstone) and diamond on either side. I'm obviously not going to go super cheap, but it at least lets me look for an awesome ring in my price range (main stone being aquamarine helps a lot) and get her what she wants.
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hehe
 
Souldestroyer Reborn said:
Man reading these posts makes me happy that my girlfriend doesn't want a massive wedding or an expensive ring. She straight up picked one out a couple of weeks ago that was like 200 bucks but she liked it :P

Don't go more than 1-2K OP. Diminishing returns and all that jazz.

Keep the rest for the wedding/honeymoon!
Click to expand...

GF is the same way. Although she also doesn't want to spend a bunch of money on a wedding either, which she views as a single day party. I think people are more prone to blow more money on the Wedding Ceremony, then the actual ring. It's insane the kind of money that goes into weddings. I think more and more, people are becoming more practical with the cost behind marriage stuff. People are starting to realize the ridiculousness behind social pressures with traditions and the insane cost behind them. Which is a great thing.

In this thread alone, we've seen many cases of people's partner, saying they don't want to spend a lot on rings or weddings. So it seems like it's becoming more common.
 
SeanR1221 said:
Why do you care how people spend their money?
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Me pointing out that a car and house aren't comparable to a ring means I care if people spend money on a ring? I'm simply stating that if you NEED to get a loan/finance a ring then you probably cannot afford it.

Marty Chin then said that financing was good sometimes. But my keyword was "NEED" so then he argued that "well by that logic nobody should ever get a house or car unless they can afford it with cash." But a car and house aren't that comparable.

Of course this is moot since the OP claims to be able to afford the ring.
 
I'm a bit late in this thread, but OP (and horror) if your GF wants a big ring, get her a big ring if she's really the one. Getting something cheap (or worse, fake) is a sure fire way of upsetting her, and explaining that rings are a scam made up by the diamond/jewelry/wedding industry isn't going to help. Personally I paid a similar amount but paid for it in cash.

I took my wife (then girlfriend) to look at rings before buying it. We had discussed marriage and established that I was going to propose, although not when. One day walking by a jewelry store I said "let's go in here" and I walked to the engagement rings and started pointing out ones and seeing if she liked them. I took notes and we left. I repeated this a few times over a few months, and eventually narrowed down the styles she liked. So she didn't pick the ring per se but gave me a lot of input.

This may not work if your girlfriend wants to be surprised though, or if you haven't talked through a lot of these things through.
 
Maybe test her? Buy some cheap $ ring and see how she reacts to that. If she doesn't like it then give her a surprise and buy that $8k ring.
 
CornBurrito said:
Me pointing out that a car and house aren't comparable to a ring means I care if people spend money on a ring? I'm simply stating that if you NEED to get a loan/finance a ring then you probably cannot afford it.

Marty Chin then said that financing was good sometimes. But my keyword was "NEED" so then he argued that "well by that logic nobody should ever get a house or car unless they can afford it with cash." But a car and house aren't that comparable.

Of course this is moot since the OP claims to be able to afford the ring.
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You made the assumption that he couldn't afford it solely on the fact that he was financing it.

A house may be different but may be debatable that it could be considered aa luxury, especially in places like California. On the other hand how is a car not comparable? Unless you are getting a simple car, you are likely paying a luxury cost on top of what a lower end car costs. Many people do and finance the car. That doesn't mean they can't afford it. Are you going into the the thread asking people what cars they drive and telling people they wasted money or can't afford their cars too? cuz that's pretty much what you are doing here.
 
CornBurrito said:
Me pointing out that a car and house aren't comparable to a ring means I care if people spend money on a ring? I'm simply stating that if you NEED to get a loan/finance a ring then you probably cannot afford it.

Marty Chin then said that financing was good sometimes. But my keyword was "NEED" so then he argued that "well by that logic nobody should ever get a house or car unless they can afford it with cash." But a car and house aren't that comparable.

Of course this is moot since the OP claims to be able to afford the ring.
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Sure sounds like you and a bunch of other people care.

Even if the person needed to finance the ring, who cares? He wasn't asking should I finance the ring. Let people do whatever the hell they want with their money. It's not yours and doesn't effect you in anyway.

dokish said:
The OP opened a thread and asked people's opinions???
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Re read the OP
 
I bought a platinum one with a .3 caret diamond (think it's that size, small and tasteful). It's was in a sale, £800.

She loves it. Don't buy in to this 2 months salary nonsense.
 
I'm proposing in Feb while in Japan. GF already said she wants to get married. She doesnt like expensive jewelry. So while I'm extremely well off and money isnt an issue, I want to keep the price low as long as it's nice.

Anyone have a suggestion for someone in the U.S. Specifically So Cal? I know nothing about rings or any of this stuff. Kind of lost and could use some help.
 
fuzzyset said:
Is it even possible to tell the difference between a "real" and "fake" diamond now-a-days? I thought they sorta perfected the lab diamond.

OP if your asshole is really that tight, throw some carbon up there and make your own butt diamond.
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Lol
 
About people mentioning alternatives, I don't even think diamonds look that good. Other gemstones are way nicer imho (emerald, tanzanite, ruby, etc.).
 
Shaanyboi said:
Sorry but L O FUCKING L

What a stupid thing to do.
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Insane. Can't believe people get suckered into paying that much. I've seen people spend more money on weddings then rings though. Curious what the average cost is for weddings.

Edit: from Google -

The average wedding cost in the United States is $25,200. Couples typically spend between $18,900 and $31,500 but, most couples spend less than $10,000. This does not include cost for a honeymoon.
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Holy fuck. At least a ring retains some value. That much for a single day party!? Wow.
 
Azula said:
Holy fuck. At least a ring retains some value. That much for a single day party!? Wow.
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Believe it or not, but that stuff adds up fast. It's not an average party either. It's not unreasonable to pay at least $50 a person for food which covers appetizers, main course, dessert/cake, and drinks. Let's say you have 200 guests. Right off the bat, that's $10k. You haven't even rented a venue, paid for someone to take photos and video, paid for flowers, paid for decorations, paid for a dress, paid for a rented suit or tux, and so forth. Things can add up pretty quick and you've got other factors involved that differ from a normal party. What you also don't factor in is the money and gifts you get in return which offset a lot of the costs. Many break even and even plenty actually come out ahead. Asian weddings are notorious for coming out ahead and getting more money as gifts than what they spend on the wedding. Other cultures have this practice and tradition as well.
 
Ingueferroque said:
Or how about just saving it. You know, to not spend it on shit like rings, trips or cars...
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A trip is worth spending money on.

People need cars.

-

I'm against the idea of engagement/wedding rings and white weddings. Why does everyone have to use the same template?

Edit: Ah, sorry OP. You don't need to hear my opinion on this. Congratulations!
 
SeanR1221 said:
Sure sounds like you and a bunch of other people care.

Even if the person needed to finance the ring, who cares? He wasn't asking should I finance the ring. Let people do whatever the hell they want with their money. It's not yours and doesn't effect you in anyway.
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I didn't know me posting in this thread was in any way limiting the OP's ability to spend his money however he pleases. I'm going to offer up myself to the scientific community since I apparently possess a rare and extraordinary superpower.
 
Marty Chinn said:
Believe it or not, but that stuff adds up fast. It's not an average party either. It's not unreasonable to pay at least $50 a person for food which covers appetizers, main course, dessert/cake, and drinks. Let's say you have 200 guests. Right off the bat, that's $10k. You haven't even rented a venue, paid for someone to take photos and video, paid for flowers, paid for decorations, paid for a dress, paid for a rented suit or tux, and so forth. Things can add up pretty quick and you've got other factors involved that differ from a normal party. What you also don't factor in is the money and gifts you get in return which offset a lot of the costs. Many break even and even plenty actually come out ahead. Asian weddings are notorious for coming out ahead and getting more money as gifts than what they spend on the wedding. Other cultures have this practice and tradition as well.
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Just seems like a lot for a single day celebration. You know?

I didn't know that the money and gifts actually helps people break even though on the costs. Sorry my ignorance on the subject. I appreciate you educating me on it. My fiancé would still rather use the money for something else.
 
Azula said:
Just seems like a lot for a single day celebration. You know?

I didn't know that the money and gifts actually helps people break even though on the costs. Sorry my ignorance on the subject. I appreciate you educating me on it. My fiancé would still rather use the money for something else.
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It can be a lot, and there are things people either cut out or are savvy on with saving money, but sometimes some costs are harder to avoid. Like if you have a bigger wedding, you can't have things likely at your house because there are too many people so you now need to rent a place. For some, families have to be there and some have bigger families which can add up to a lot of people before you even get to your friends. So it really varies depending on the circumstances.

Try not to think of it as any random party though. A wedding usually is a special occasion and not just for you and your partner. Families and friends are excited too. Many travel from far away because of this one special occasion who wouldn't just come out for any old party or celebration. A lot of times, it's the first time in awhile that a whole family with all aunts and uncles, and cousins come together because they make that extra effort to all be there on that same day because of the special event. So it can be many things. It's a celebration. It's celebrating with a lot of your friends and family. It's bringing family together.

For me it was the first time my mom's side and my dad's side of the family came together like that. Never had I had all my family in one place and that's special to me. We have a nice family picture with everyone together. It's never happened before. Some of those things are priceless. Plus it hopefully only ever happens once so why not splurge a little. That's not to say it's for everyone, but I certainly understand why they can get a bit pricey. Getting a ton of gift money to offset the cost helps a lot though.

BTW, congrats. I read you just got engaged.
 
CornBurrito said:
I didn't know me posting in this thread was in any way limiting the OP's ability to spend his money however he pleases. I'm going to offer up myself to the scientific community since I apparently possess a rare and extraordinary superpower.
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This isn't nearly as snarky as your typical responses. You're losing your touch.
 
Marty Chinn said:
It can be a lot, and there are things people either cut out or are savvy on with saving money, but sometimes some costs are harder to avoid. Like if you have a bigger wedding, you can't have things likely at your house because there are too many people so you now need to rent a place. For some, families have to be there and some have bigger families which can add up to a lot of people before you even get to your friends. So it really varies depending on the circumstances.

Try not to think of it as any random party though. A wedding usually is a special occasion and not just for you and your partner. Families and friends are excited too. Many travel from far away because of this one special occasion who wouldn't just come out for any old party or celebration. A lot of times, it's the first time in awhile that a whole family with all aunts and uncles, and cousins come together because they make that extra effort to all be there on that same day because of the special event. So it can be many things. It's a celebration. It's celebrating with a lot of your friends and family. It's bringing family together.

For me it was the first time my mom's side and my dad's side of the family came together like that. Never had I had all my family in one place and that's special to me. We have a nice family picture with everyone together. It's never happened before. Some of those things are priceless. Plus it hopefully only ever happens once so why not splurge a little. That's not to say it's for everyone, but I certainly understand why they can get a bit pricey. Getting a ton of gift money to offset the cost helps a lot though.

BTW, congrats. I read you just got engaged.
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This brings up an interesting question altogether...

In some customs, it's customary to provide gifts (e.g., money) to the bride and groom at the wedding. I've been to big weddings, small weddings, and in-between --- most of the couples claim to have gotten enough cash gifts/donations to cover the expense of the wedding and then some.

I guess it depends on the guests and the size of the wedding, but can anyone who's currently married and had a big wedding comment on that?
 
The Horror the horror said:
This brings up an interesting question altogether...

In some customs, it's customary to provide gifts (e.g., money) to the bride and groom at the wedding. I've been to big weddings, small weddings, and in-between --- most of the couples claim to have gotten enough cash gifts/donations to cover the expense of the wedding and then some.

I guess it depends on the guests and the size of the wedding, but can anyone who's currently married and had a big wedding comment on that?
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I can give my personal account. Here's our background.

I was born in the US. Both of my parents were born in the US. My grandparents were from China on both sides. So our family is pretty Americanized and so is our extended family. I was raised with the idea for a gift, you got them something off their registry and you were good to go. No concept of price, or expecting to at least get a gift that covered your share of the attendance.

My wife's family were refugees from Vietnam. She was born in transit in Malaysia and came to the US at a young age. She's also the youngest of three. It wasn't until we were talking about weddings that I learned about the traditional Vietnamese expectations. In their culture, it's expected their guests will only bring cash and that they give a lot of money. It's expected to cover their plate and then some. It's often expected to profit from a wedding not go in debt. In fact, security guards are hired to protect the cash since it's well known that Asian weddings have a ton of cash and are a high target to be robbed. So because they plan give a lot of money, they have certain expectations of what the wedding should be. A good meal is a given because in a sense, they're paying for it. So when planning your wedding you have to sort of meet these expectations otherwise it's looked down upon, especially if it's extended family who will look down on the parents as well.

It's a complete contrast and eye opening on how different cultures handle weddings and what the expectations are. I think because my family was more Americanized and her family wasn't, and that my family is much bigger, I think we either broke even or didn't come out ahead. I never got the final tally. It wasn't a concern to me. Interestingly, my wife didn't want to spend a lot, and didn't want a big wedding. Having a big wedding was more my idea.
 
So my girlfriend (who happens to be a newer Gaffer) and I went and looked at rings today and I ended up getting this one for her and spent around $1500. Her being part of the process helped a lot, as I found out she wanted aquamarine (her birthstone) as the main stone and smaller diamonds down the side (as opposed to two bigger flanking diamonds).

You can get a nice ring without spending a fortune. Note, the stone in the image is not set yet.

Ring.jpg
 
Deadly Cyclone said:
So my girlfriend (who happens to be a newer Gaffer) and I went and looked at rings today and I ended up getting this one for her and spent around $1500. Her being part of the process helped a lot, as I found out she wanted aquamarine (her birthstone) as the main stone and smaller diamonds down the side (as opposed to two bigger flanking diamonds).

You can get a nice ring without spending a fortune. Note, the stone in the image is not set yet.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ULccCfERCqQ/VMbwfq5qRnI/AAAAAAAAVys/_ZtAOcjvJnM/s576/Ring.jpg
Click to expand...

beautiful :)
 
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