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My girl just left. Or.. WTF?
- Thread starter JayDub
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How old are the two of you, OP? I think most relationships in your 20s are bound to fail eventually. The expectation point for people to settle down seems to be 30 and over these days.
Then again, her with a kid, I'd think she'd be praying to meet a decent dude and settle down. *shrug*
Then again, her with a kid, I'd think she'd be praying to meet a decent dude and settle down. *shrug*
norinrad21
Banned
I read somewhere that the child is not even yours? is this true?
What ever you do, don't get hot yourself keep calm and tell her how you feel that you love her and you wan't to be that little girls dad, that whatever it is she's going through you want to help. She may be going through something that has absolutely noting to do with you and she feels like she just have to go away.
You don't let her read gaf I hope.
You don't let her read gaf I hope.
Wow, wtf. The hardest part about any break-up/rough patches/whatever I've been through was missing the families. I have several "nieces" that I never get to see anymore, so I can't even imagine the situation you're in right now. Luckily she's so young that she doesn't really understand what's going on.
My nieces were 3, 4, & 5, so the 3 year old probably doesn't even remember me, but the 4 & 5 year old's asked about me constantly and didn't understand why I wasn't around. I'd run into them at the store, and they'd be so happy... They wouldn't let me put them down (and at that time, they were 6-7 years old, so they were heavy). They'd cry when they said good-bye... :*( Those girls were amazing and I love them...
:******(
My nieces were 3, 4, & 5, so the 3 year old probably doesn't even remember me, but the 4 & 5 year old's asked about me constantly and didn't understand why I wasn't around. I'd run into them at the store, and they'd be so happy... They wouldn't let me put them down (and at that time, they were 6-7 years old, so they were heavy). They'd cry when they said good-bye... :*( Those girls were amazing and I love them...
:******(
viciouskillersquirrel
Member
That's not strictly speaking true. Depending on where he lives, common-law live-in partners get many of the same rights as a spouse. I've heard of cases wherein parents have been given custody despite not being biologically parent and child.fugimax said:
Besides, even if he can't do anything, at least he'll know. There's no harm in getting some advice from a local specialist.
thefit said:
That's pretty weak. She just blurts out she doesn't feel for him anymore, takes off, and he's supposed to be a saint of patience and understanding? I agree about the not getting angry part, but if she can't communicate like an adult human being, what's he supposed to do?
Well if you do marry her if she comes back and this happens again, the likelihood of her getting custody is pretty high. (her mom/parents probably can provide better for the child. I'm assuming here based on your bills in the OP) And from there, you'll be hit with child support.JayDub said:
DemonSwordsman
Banned
JayDub said:
If she wants to come back be like she broke your trust etc. and you need to think about. And then a bit later you can tell her only because you care about the daughter etc. That would prolly be the best way.
As for legally since your not married and its not your kid by law she has nothing to do with you. but atleast she can't scam you for payments.
norinrad21
Banned
thefit said:
I know, that wasn't the point i was trying to make. it just came of that way. he should just fight for the kid, the love obviously could be long gone, which truly sucks
SwitchBladeKneegrow
Banned
-PXG- said:
*thanks the lord*
SnakeswithLasers
Member
Fuck dude, I'm sorry to hear that. Poor little girl (and poor you obviously).
DemonSwordsman
Banned
SwitchBladeKneegrow said:
Yeah he might give their school address and pics to some pedos on GAF to prove a point.
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Sorry dude
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There are so many things I want to say, but even typing them past the "she found new dicks" (terrible taste, GAF) posts people have are probably just going to make Jay dwell on shit that may or may not be happening.thefit said:
In short, something probably happened at work that made her feel differently about you.
SwitchBladeKneegrow said:
Yeah. Because my conduct on a video game forum is direct representation of how am in real life......
Yeah...good thing it isn't :lol
Seriously though. I'm just afraid I wouldn't be able to give my kids what my parents have given me. I worry that I wouldn't be able provide as much as my dad did for me. He has massive shoes that I doubt I will be able to fill
Anyway, I hope J Dub doesn't get fucked over in all of this.
SwitchBladeKneegrow
Banned
-PXG- said:
M2AF: I DON'T WANT KIDS, BUT I'D BE A GOOD DADDY IF I DID.
Your children will not know what your father provided for you. As long as you do a go a job raising them, they'll love you for it.-PXG- said:Yeah. Because my conduct on a video game forum is direct representation of how am in real life......
Yeah...good thing it isn't :lol
Seriously though. I'm just afraid I wouldn't be able to give my kids what my parents have given me. I worry that I wouldn't be able provide as much as my dad did for me. He has massive shoes that I doubt I will be able to fill
SwitchBladeKneegrow
Banned
soultron said:
They'd know if they still lived with Grandpa.
-PXG- said:
well, if he were married this couldn't happen the same way. he would have custody rights, even if not biologically his, bills would be split.
It depends how things are set up and what is important to you as far as marriage goes. If you make all the money, care only about money, and no kids are involved...yeah marriage probably won't work out for the best if things go south.
But compared with no marriage, the custody situation for the guy is going to be really bad....
The Librarian
Banned
JayDub said:
JayDub said:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=16633649&postcount=1
Sorry, I'm just confused. Don't mean to be rude or anything.
Ploid 3.0
Member
I'm no expert but talking to parents of a girl that left you or a girl that you're having problems with seems like a bad idea. You'll either become the bad guy for the parents (nagging, they'll usually always side with their child, you're telling them your business, etc.), or the girl will feel pressured into hooking back up. If you do talk to them just let them see that you're concerned and want the girl to talk to you without airing the details of the relationship to them. Don't screw up with the parents, that's how you get evil mother-in-laws.
The Librarian
Banned
The plot... thickens?agrajag said:
FromTheFuture
Member
OP i hope this works out for the best. I'd say just wait until you both can think and be rational, it will help a lot. Just see what's up first, and go from there. I wish you the best of luck.
Freudian slip?Dax01 said:
Zombie James
Banned
That's fucked up, what a bitch.
You live with someone long enough, in the eyes of the law you're common-law. So referring to the GF as the "wife" doesn't mean much.
JayDub, I don't know where you live so the legalities may vary a bit, but do this now:
1. Find a social worker you can trust. Explain the situation and ask what steps you need to take going forward to protect the relationship between yourself and this little girl.
2. Track everything (and I mean everything) from today forward. If you interact with your ex, write down what was said and the time the conversation started. Conversations with the mom. With your daughter. With the social worker I mentioned before. It is a huge pain in the ass, but eventually it becomes second nature and believe you me - it will save you much grief and heartache in the long run.
3. If you can limit your conversation with your ex to e-mail, do it. If you can't, track the nature and time as stated in #2. Remember, you need to be able to track those interactions and email is forever (thx Google).
4. Hit up a lawyer. Most family lawyers will provide you with an initial 30 minute consultation for free, so take the information you've been tracking and hit as many as possible until you find somebody that you click with. The money won't necessarily be an issue if you can engage in collaborative divorce mediation. Even if you think you and the missus are going to get back together, do not wait to get legal advice.
5. Under no circumstances engage in any heated conversation with your ex or her family. To the point of stoicism. If anybody is going to provide ammunition for court, let it be her. Plus if you do end up getting back together, it's a lot easier to swallow words better left unsaid. You don't have to eat shit, but it takes two to fight. Always look at the big picture and how your actions at that moment could affect that, take a deep breath or two and reel it in. You'll have other opportunities to vent your frustration.
Double down on your budget as best as you can. Internet sentiment is cheap, but rest assured that I feel for your situation. Good luck.
JayDub, I don't know where you live so the legalities may vary a bit, but do this now:
1. Find a social worker you can trust. Explain the situation and ask what steps you need to take going forward to protect the relationship between yourself and this little girl.
2. Track everything (and I mean everything) from today forward. If you interact with your ex, write down what was said and the time the conversation started. Conversations with the mom. With your daughter. With the social worker I mentioned before. It is a huge pain in the ass, but eventually it becomes second nature and believe you me - it will save you much grief and heartache in the long run.
3. If you can limit your conversation with your ex to e-mail, do it. If you can't, track the nature and time as stated in #2. Remember, you need to be able to track those interactions and email is forever (thx Google).
4. Hit up a lawyer. Most family lawyers will provide you with an initial 30 minute consultation for free, so take the information you've been tracking and hit as many as possible until you find somebody that you click with. The money won't necessarily be an issue if you can engage in collaborative divorce mediation. Even if you think you and the missus are going to get back together, do not wait to get legal advice.
5. Under no circumstances engage in any heated conversation with your ex or her family. To the point of stoicism. If anybody is going to provide ammunition for court, let it be her. Plus if you do end up getting back together, it's a lot easier to swallow words better left unsaid. You don't have to eat shit, but it takes two to fight. Always look at the big picture and how your actions at that moment could affect that, take a deep breath or two and reel it in. You'll have other opportunities to vent your frustration.
Double down on your budget as best as you can. Internet sentiment is cheap, but rest assured that I feel for your situation. Good luck.
The Librarian
Banned
It's understandable. I only noticed it because he had made a thread recently.bishoptl said:
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