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[Wind's Howling]

Yeah so, after almost a year she broke up with me because she didn't know what to do with her life. She said that she wanted some rest and think everything over.

She is not happy with her life, her work, the family situation she lives in and with that she also had doubts about us.

She keeps on saying that she still feels something for me, but does not know what to do with it. She also keeps saying that it is not me, but her. She is the one that is to blame and that I am incredibly sweet and she does not deserve me (yeah sure) - ''It is not you = It is you''

Goddamn I hate this feeling.

 

[Dr_Boris_Goltz]

Somebody on GAF put it very succinctly in one of my many, many past threads regarding my ex.

It was along the lines of, "Do you really want to be with somebody who doesn't want you?"

It's simple, but it makes you think about your loss in a different light.

 

[soxinthebox]

Better fish in the sea

 

[obin_gam]

It'll get better.

 

[BocoDragon]

Awesome. You have infinite possibilities now. Not to minimize the huge feelings you have (i so understand), but you get to play the game again! extra (dating) life!

 

[-tetsuo-]

Me and my girlfriend of 7 years broke up a week ago. You will get better.

 

[Buckethead]

Go find another girl, it'll help you get over her more quickly.

Move on.

You shouldn't wait for her nor should she expect you to.
Her "I still have feelings for you" comments are pretty shitty and immature.

Cut all ties and move on, son.

 

[BurnOutBrighter]

Time to hit the backlog!

 

[vincent vega]

Awesome. You have infinite possibilities now. Not to minimize the huge feelings you have (i so understand), but you get to play the game again! extra (dating) life!

This. when you finally get over this maybe you can "mess around" a bit, if you're into that kind of thing

 

[Screaming Meat]

Sorry to hear that, man. I guess nothing anyone says will bring you any comfort at the moment. Given enough time, though, it'll hurt a whole lot less.

 

[Discotheque]

"i don't deserve you"

lmao, yeah just work on moving on. she'll either come back to you or she won't. but try not to let your memories linger.

 

[kirblar]

Yeah so, after almost a year she broke up with me because she didn't know what to do with her life. She said that she wanted some rest and think everything over.

She is not happy with her life, her work, the family situation she lives in and with that she also had doubts about us.

She keeps on saying that she still feels something for me, but does not know what to do with it. She also keeps saying that it is not me, but her. She is the one that is to blame and that I am incredibly sweet and she does not deserve me (yeah sure) - ''It is not you = It is you''

Goddamn I hate this feeling.

She needs time for herself to take care of this stuff. If she comes back, she comes back. If not, it wasn't going to work out. Just don't hold up your life waiting on her.

 

[Blue Ninja]

Somebody on GAF put it very succinctly in one of my many, many past threads regarding my ex.

It was along the lines of, "Do you really want to be with somebody who doesn't want you?"

It's simple, but it makes you think about your loss in a different light.

Well put.

I was in almost the exact same situation as you just a year ago, OP. It'll take time, but there are better girls out there.

 

[freddy]

She keeps on saying.... She also keeps saying

This sounds like you've talked to her after she dumped you. Don't.

 

[BlueSteel]

Sounds like what happened to me. There was indeed a lot of shit in her life that I could never help resolve. The thing I never understood was why she didn't want me to be a someone to support her in such a way. It's frustrating, but there's nothing you can do but to move on. It'll suck, but you gotta.

 

[ant1532]

Somebody on GAF put it very succinctly in one of my many, many past threads regarding my ex.

It was along the lines of, "Do you really want to be with somebody who doesn't want you?"

It's simple, but it makes you think about your loss in a different light.

yeah but that's the most depressing part. knowing the person you're in love with doesn't feel the same way towards you (anymore or if they really did at all). that shit hurts.

Marvin Gaye said that shit long ago too(in my favorite song of his)
i want you, but i want you to want me too(just like I want you) (the right way)


fuck yeah marvin gaye

 

[Tornado Condor]

OP, at first it's going to sting for a while. No lie about that. It's going to suck and you'll always wonder what you did wrong.

Trust me, it gets better. My ex and i had to break up because her parents went crazy even though we loved each other so much.

You'll get better.

 

[Jay Sosa]

At least you had a GF.

*Hugs his 3 cats*

 

[crazy_about_denise]

He will never get better if she doesn't stop to unload her feelings on him. She needs to cope with it herself.

Either that or cut her out of your life completely.

 

[Wind's Howling]

She needs time for herself to take care of this stuff. If she comes back, she comes back. If not, it wasn't going to work out. Just don't hold up your life waiting on her.

The thing is. I saw the break-up coming weeks before. She was kind of in a state of her own and when I asked if something was up she said no, even though I knew something was wrong.

I will not hold up on my life, but I am afraid that I will get trapped inside this vicious circle where she ''maybe'' says she wants me back, we do that and the same pattern repeats.

 

[turbosnail]

From what you've said it looks as if she is no longer into the relationship. It's fine man. You can't force a relationship, if one person out of the two doesn't feel right than it is a gigantic waste of time to begin with. I know you feel shitty man and trust me do things get better. Trust me. You'll weep the next few days but know that there are FAR greater things in life to worry about than a woman who cannot make up her mind. Find a new hobby, spend some money, do whatever to take your mind off it but don't attempt to victimize yourself, it will only make you weaker in the end.

 

[hteng]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yYS0ZZdsnA

 

[Wind's Howling]

This sounds like you've talked to her after she dumped you. Don't.

Probably the worst thing I did but the fact is that she was texting me, not the other way around.

 

[HalfBakedProphet]

For the love of Christ don't sit around thinking about trying to fix this shit. Cut off contact. She'll probably still want to be friends. Fuck no, you need time to heal before that can happen

.I will not hold up on my life, but I am afraid that I will get trapped inside this vicious circle where she ''maybe'' says she wants me back, we do that and the same pattern repeats.

yup, its good you recognize this. You also have the power to avoid it. Cut off contact, ask her to respect your decision and need time to move on

 

[Devolution]

Probably the worst thing I did but the fact is that she was texting me, not the other way around.

So just tell her in plain english that it hurts you to converse with her, you want a clean break and you wish her well. It hurts but if she does love you she'll understand and let you move on.

 

[ElbowRocket]

I know the feel bro my ex told me she just doesn't love me anymore - maybe she's into someone else I know for def mine was.

 

[crazy_about_denise]

.

I will not hold up on my life, but I am afraid that I will get trapped inside this vicious circle where she ''maybe'' says she wants me back, we do that and the same pattern repeats.

It only repeats if you don't know the reason the first time around. So either the reason is still there or not. If there was no significant development it won't work.

 

[Wind's Howling]

For the love of Christ don't sit around thinking about trying to fix this shit. Cut off contact. She'll probably still want to be friends. Fuck no, you need time to heal before that can happen

I am definitely not thinking of fixing this. She broke up with me, and it went in a normal fashion.

The thing that sucks is that she kept on saying she wanted a break, and in the last minute we just decided to stop the whole relationship because I did not want to be kept on a line.

Imo I can not even think right now. My brain says stop this shit and move on, but my heart keeps saying dont give up because she has an incredibly tough life with her family and she does not how to cope with these problems.

She has never been the type of person who solves problems with others. She goes into a complete lockdown and tries to fix it for herself.

 

[Shoogoo]

Get busy. It's what helped me get over my last (devastating) break-up.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Never contact her again. Trust me, it's for the best.

 

[BocoDragon]

Never contact her again. Trust me, it's for the best.

Sometimes maintaining friendly relationships with exes is ok.... but I agree, I don't think so in this case.

 

[crazy_about_denise]

0

She has never been the type of person who solves problems with others. She goes into a complete lockdown and tries to fix it for herself.

If you really think that way you probably haven't tried hard enough to help her... platonically .

 

[Log4Girlz]

Sometimes maintaining friendly relationships with exes is ok.... but I agree, I don't think so in this case.

Well, after a year or two and only if she contacts him.

 

[Wind's Howling]

If you really think that way you probably haven't tried hard enough to help her... platonically .

Oh, I have. Trust me.

 

[crazy_about_denise]

Oh, I have. Trust me.

No you haven't or you would tell this to her instead.

 

[BocoDragon]

Well, after a year or two and only if she contacts him.

It still depends on circumstances. Every one is different. You could be friends the next day if it was mutual and you were both moving on. But in this case you are right... Not likely.

 

[Escape Goat]

If she was so uncertain about her life you'd think she'd want something stable (you). Sounds like you're better off. Go find somebody who knows what they want.

 

[sleeping_dragon]

the only cured for getting dumped is to find a new chick, if not you will linger on the good old memories you have with her for a very long time.

 

[specialguy]

Yeah so, after almost a year she broke up with me because she didn't know what to do with her life. She said that she wanted some rest and think everything over.

She is not happy with her life, her work, the family situation she lives in and with that she also had doubts about us.

She keeps on saying that she still feels something for me, but does not know what to do with it. She also keeps saying that it is not me, but her. She is the one that is to blame and that I am incredibly sweet and she does not deserve me (yeah sure) - ''It is not you = It is you''

Goddamn I hate this feeling.

she probably really met another guy, unbeknownst to you, that she may not be dating yet but there is strong mutual interest obvious, and they will likely get together very quickly now. i would say 90% chance.

i think it's fairly rare for a girl to leave a relationship absent say, abuse or something, without something else brewing.

 

[MarkMclovin]

It'll get better.

Yep.

Best thing to do is hit the gym, go running a few times a week and your confidence will shoot right up.

 

[HalfBakedProphet]

she probably really met another guy, that she may not be dating yet but there is strong mutual interest obvious. i would say 90% chance.

that's a pretty cynical outlook

 

[Aiii]

Yeah so, after almost a year she broke up with me because she didn't know what to do with her life. She said that she wanted some rest and think everything over.

She is not happy with her life, her work, the family situation she lives in and with that she also had doubts about us.

She keeps on saying that she still feels something for me, but does not know what to do with it. She also keeps saying that it is not me, but her. She is the one that is to blame and that I am incredibly sweet and she does not deserve me (yeah sure) - ''It is not you = It is you''

Goddamn I hate this feeling.

For what it's worth, it seems like your ex-girlfriend is having alot of issues and in this case, it probably is the state she's in and not you.

So, be sad, but know you couldn't have done anything to save the relationship. Move on, and be happy again. It'll get better.

 

[Chuckie]

she probably really met another guy, unbeknownst to you, that she may not be dating yet but there is strong mutual interest obvious, and they will likely get together very quickly now. i would say 90% chance.

i think it's fairly rare for a girl to leave a relationship absent say, abuse or something, without something else brewing.

This really smells like anecdotal evidence.

 

[specialguy]

This really smells like anecdotal evidence.

It would be interesting if he investigates this and you know, keeps us updated. If we even remember in 2 or 3 weeks.

 

[Demy]

People can sometimes take advantage of others without really wanting to. Don't make yourself available to her or she might unknowingly abuse your support and you'll end up hating each other for it. Best thing you can do is (however painfully so) to keep your distance.
Good things to come, man. It will just take time.

 

[Chuckie]

It would be interesting if he investigates this and you know, keeps us updated. If we even remember in 2 or 3 weeks.

It would be, but it would still be anecdotal evidence. Out of the 3 break-ups from the girls side I had, 2 had nothing to do with another guy.

So 'my anecdotal' evidence says in 66,7% of the cases it is not because there is another guy

 

[soxinthebox]

Never contact her again. Trust me, it's for the best.

Block and delete on facebook too.

 

[Amon37]

Just a year? Pshh

Dat bang on the rebound will be soooo good.

 

[Protein]

DO NOT CONTACT HER. Be distant and cold. It may be a long shot but just give her some time and just disappear off the face of the earth. Maintaining a friendship or talking may just make it easier for her to get over you. Don't be a comfort pillow.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

DO NOT CONTACT HER. Be distant and cold. It may be a long shot but just give her some time and just disappear off the face of the earth. Maintaining a friendship or talking may just make it easier for her to get over you. Don't be a comfort pillow.

Great advice, hard to do but it worked for me.