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My sister just got groped by a youth leader
- Thread starter Drencrom
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TheContact
Member
My GF told me about how she went to Christian camp when she was like 11 or 12 and the leader there kept asking her and her sister to spend time alone together but couldn't tell anyone because "no one would understand". Fucking creepy as fuck.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
Sasly, this is not uncommon in the community, as far as I know.
A lot of these counselors, mostly male, who have been rasied in the church hardcore, have unnaturally stunted their release of sexual tension or whatever due to an misguided interpretation of the belief system. I'm not sure where the blame lies, with the parents of the offender growing up, or the church doctrine or wholly on the individual himself.
Yes, ultimately the entire blame lies with the counselor, but seriously, something wrong happened along the way.
When I was a Bible Camp counselor, I had a fellow counselor come up and talk to me about how some of the girls were dressed. He said he found it scandalous and it drove him to "thoughts." To which I promptly had a talk with the youth pastor about him and his alone time with females was severely limited and if not, was heavily supervised.
Later, and this was after I had moved from Denver, I found out that he tried to propse to some 16 year old. Freak.
A lot of these counselors, mostly male, who have been rasied in the church hardcore, have unnaturally stunted their release of sexual tension or whatever due to an misguided interpretation of the belief system. I'm not sure where the blame lies, with the parents of the offender growing up, or the church doctrine or wholly on the individual himself.
Yes, ultimately the entire blame lies with the counselor, but seriously, something wrong happened along the way.
When I was a Bible Camp counselor, I had a fellow counselor come up and talk to me about how some of the girls were dressed. He said he found it scandalous and it drove him to "thoughts." To which I promptly had a talk with the youth pastor about him and his alone time with females was severely limited and if not, was heavily supervised.
Later, and this was after I had moved from Denver, I found out that he tried to propse to some 16 year old. Freak.
shanshan310
Member
Shit, girls shouldn't have to be dealing with this kind of stuff. Especially not that young, and by an adult she should trust.
I didn't know you got kicked out
That's a damn shame, you seem like an awesome role model for teens. Wish my little bro had someone like you.
I didn't know you got kicked out
That's a damn shame, you seem like an awesome role model for teens. Wish my little bro had someone like you.SquiddyCracker
Banned
Yeah, that is just silly, and has resulted in 19 year olds who have had relations with someone just two years younger than them, to be regarded as pedophiles.
If you can't trust to be alone with a youth leader of the opposite sex then you pretty much cannot be trust being alone with anyone of the opposite sex. Maybe it is a slight risk to be alone with any man, but that's really not a practical view of things.
That's why telling her to be situationally aware, if she isn't already, is a bit of a two-edged sword. Sure, it might help her, but it might also turn up the paranoia notch a bit too high.
More on topic, I agree with everyone else to support her and just try to get a conviction going so that he will hopefully not get the chance to work with any young people ever.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
See the thing is...male youth leaders shouldn't be alone with kids of the oppostie sex.
That was the SOP for Bible camps.
That was the SOP for Bible camps.
Because same-sex-pedophiles are a whole lot better?
Edit:
youth leaders in general should act responsible. If someone gropes my daughter, he/she'd better call the cops, because I won't.
Yeah, seriously, it really shouldn't be inclusive. That leads to the conclusions of "We're literally incapable of screening and training guys NOT to put the moves on girls."
A lot of religious organizations are a complete mess simply because of their refusal to adopt basic social psychology and professional detachment in their employees and just accept on....faith that they'll not screw up.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I'm on the pro-pederasty tip. Just the tip.
As long as the Church continues to protect and enable these types these insults and generalizations are EXACTLY what is called for.
There's a reason people don't make the same cracks about rabbis or the leaders at the mosque near me.
Big ups to OP for keeping his cool. Was in a similar/a bit more violent situation with a close friend of mine a few years back and I spent a few days trying to find him after police said insufficient evidence. Got him fired, but never found the guy, most likely would have gotten my ass arrested. Apparently he moved back in with his parents in the U.K. after he got fired/someone that wasn't me left death threats on his bed after they broke into his apartment and trashed the shit out of it.
I don't know if they have this in the UK, but the the churches here have been making a deliberate effort to market to the "youth" to indoctrinate them. This involves the usual tactics: getting young adults to be "cool" and "hip" and make it seem like the stuffy old priests aren't the ONLY things that Christianity is all about. Jesus was RADICAL.
It's basically marketing 101 : Imprint the brand name into as many young and most impressionable demographics as possible for future profits.
Yeah, there's a mild version of this in the UK. One of the missus' friends is a 'youth leader' and it basically seems to involve assuring young people that they aren't wasting their Sunday mornings.
Frank Jaeger
Member
SquiddyCracker
Banned
For all the people saying that young girls should be told not to trust male leaders and men in general when alone I get what you are saying but this shouldn't be.
Paranoia like this is never good, but situational awareness should be taught to kids at school regarding things like this.
Yep, this is also what i gather from my own experience. Sunday school and religious events like these for kids definitively have an agenda to indoctrinate them.
Also, you guys make me feel like i'm some sort of a buddhist with all the talk about i'm taking this is so calmly haha.
Paranoia like this is never good, but situational awareness should be taught to kids at school regarding things like this.
Yep, this is also what i gather from my own experience. Sunday school and religious events like these for kids definitively have an agenda to indoctrinate them.
Also, you guys make me feel like i'm some sort of a buddhist with all the talk about i'm taking this is so calmly haha.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
Shit, girls shouldn't have to be dealing with this kind of stuff. Especially not that young, and by an adult she should trust.
I didn't know you got kicked out
2 churches would disagree. One in Colorado and one in Illinois.
Tagquote
Seems like you were to good for them from what I gathered from that post of yours.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
He needs a conviction and marked as a sex offender just so that this won't happen again.
I agree.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
I thought I was, but their parents and the church elders felt difference and I don't fault them for that. They want their children raised a certain way. I hopt what I did try to impart on them makes them more open minded.
Mammoth Jones
Member
Shouldn't trust anyone you don't *KNOW*, period. I'd rather err on the side of caution than trusting everyone on principle.
I wouldn't want my sister in that situation. Maybe I'm just paranoid but anyone can be a threat. Don't ever assume someone is above doing something terrible when they think they might not get caught.
vas_a_morir
Banned
Once again, wanting to grope a nubile 14 year old is not pedophilia. It's just a creepy perv.
This is what I'm am also thinking about. Sounds like he was really bold in the way he did it. I can't imagine him being that bold if this was his first time doing this.
This is one of the problems with religious orgs. Anyone can get way too much power just because they volunteer to do something. And people trust them without even thinking.
TheContact
Member
It's odd how it's okay for a Tudor or something to be alone with a child of opposite sex and everything's cool but the second it's bible camp there's all sorts of rules about not touching children. If bible camp is that prone to rapings then wtf is it good for and why is religion the primary reason rules have to be placed to prevent this kind of thing from happening. Religious people are pervs
Religion keeps people in line and makes them behave morally except for the times that it doesn't.
a teenage girl was groped yet this is what outrages you enough to respond...
bengraven
Member
This is why repressing sexuality is a bad thing. Oh I'm sure there's a dozen factors contributing, but repressing and feeling ashamed of sex can't help escalate the other 11.
I've been in your position OP. I wanted to kick the shit out of the person, who happened to be my stepdad. Sometimes I regret that I didn't. But then again, it wouldn't have brought me any more peace.
I've been in your position OP. I wanted to kick the shit out of the person, who happened to be my stepdad. Sometimes I regret that I didn't. But then again, it wouldn't have brought me any more peace.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Fucked up situation man. Glad the two of them got out alright.
Blue Ninja
Member
That's shit, man. It amazes me how fucked up people can be. Good to hear they managed to get out of there and report the guy, they probably prevented it happening to other girls that way, too.
True enough. The whole "JESUS SEZ: 'KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS UNTIL YOU'RE MARRIED OR YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!'" rhetoric undoubtedly does more harm than good.
It's hard being a straight, white, conservative, Christian male in America. There's internet persecution to deal with, sinners to chide, sexual and religious minorities who need to have their rights denied, and all sorts of other stuff that you and I wouldn't understand.
No it isn't. As a Christian you should be disgusted at this and at the Church for covering so many events like this up. You might follow a Church but there is no God in those walls.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
It must be nice to have everything fit into those convenient boxes.
astroturfing
Member
i hope the "youth leader" has fun living with the brand of sexual predator for the rest of his life.
let your sister know that every single normal and humane person in this world is on her side and that she has nothing to be ashamed about or feel guilty about.
let your sister know that every single normal and humane person in this world is on her side and that she has nothing to be ashamed about or feel guilty about.
LowEndTorque
Member
Fucking filthy scumbag.
Your first instinct as a big brother is probably to go find this dude and smash him, but I'm sure his cellmates is prison will take care of that for you. Diddlers are looked upon very badly in jail. So many parents probably trusted this thing because it's "Christian." I wonder how many times he's done this before.
Your first instinct as a big brother is probably to go find this dude and smash him, but I'm sure his cellmates is prison will take care of that for you. Diddlers are looked upon very badly in jail. So many parents probably trusted this thing because it's "Christian." I wonder how many times he's done this before.
D
Deleted member 81567
Unconfirmed Member
Drencrom are you psychologically ok?
I don't think it's because there are so many cases, its because it's just common sense. You don't want these situations to arise no matter how much you trust a person you don't really know what a person might do.
There's unfortunately a lot of assumptions here about Christianity. On one hand you guys are talking all this smack about how they're trying so hard to get people to come. And yet you also say these people trust them so much that they'll do anything for religious authority figures. Which is it guys? With the exception of the Catholic church and a few others most churches make sure to emphasize that the pastor is the leader but is still human, still sinful, and certainly not above the law.
And to OP you have to go after this guy. That other girls parents have to know and this guy has to go down. You can't let this guy continue to work in that position. Your sister's trust is honestly less important now than getting this guy.
Ignatz Mouse
Banned
I don't know if repressing sexuality causes this sort of bahavior, or people who have tendencies like this are drawn to the Church to *help* them suppress tehm (and then ultimately fail).
I mean, if you're uncomfortable with your urges becuase they are super-creepy, signing up for celebacy or at least sexual repression might seem like a really good idea.
I mean, if you're uncomfortable with your urges becuase they are super-creepy, signing up for celebacy or at least sexual repression might seem like a really good idea.
Yes, clearly the correct solution to this situation is to go assault the guy ಠ_ಠ
Thank you OP for remaining calm. The world needs more people like you.
CliqWriter
Member
I'm so glad nothing else happened. She is one of the lucky ones.
Support her to the fullest and get her to talk about it, the sooner the better.
You have great self control, cause I would already be driving home with my friends.
Support her to the fullest and get her to talk about it, the sooner the better.
You have great self control, cause I would already be driving home with my friends.
Kitschkraft
Member
Sad, but completely predictable.
They are sick individuals, makes sense that they would be willing to coordinate their entire lifestyles around their twisted desires.
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