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My 'social anxiety' is getting worse

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Atramental

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edit: here's the original post so you don't have to hunt for it.

Over these past couple of months I find that it's becoming much more difficult for me to talk and to interact with people.

Whenever I'm out in public I feel like everyone is watching me and that they know my "secrets". Whenever my phone rings my heart skips a beat. I get even more tense when I see it's a number that I'm unfamiliar with. Also, when I'm put into a situation in which I have to talk to people that I don't know very well, I want to just run away from that location and hide from them. It's even worse when I'm talking to women. I just want to crawl into a corner and die.

I can no longer maintain eye contact when I'm talking to someone for more than a few seconds. When someone asks me how my day is going I only reply with, "Good." and I then proceed to whip out my phone and act like I'm texting someone. My social anxiety gets even worse when I'm on the BJU campus. I feel like a spy behind enemy lines in a strange and foreign land. Everything and everyone there is so backwards and alien to me. And because I can't relate to anyone there, I just hide in my car whenever I don't have class and just browse the Internet until my next class. Then when I'm in a classroom setting I get really tense. I feel like I could say or do something wrong at any second and look like a complete idiot. So I keep my movements at a minimum and my mouth shut. Also, on rare occasions I sometimes run into people that I knew from high school. I begin to panic when I see one of these persons from my not so distant past because I realize how much of a loser I've become. I'm basically a hermit that has no friends and browses the Internet all day. I can't remember how many lies I've told these former classmates of mine.

Right now I'm at home just laying awake in my bed typing this on my phone and wanting tomorrow and the next 3 years of my college days to go by quick and painless. I have to wake up at six so I might be on here briefly to only view your replies.

So GAF, do I need to go see a shrink?
 
Yes, yes you do need to see a shrink. And he'll talk to you a bit, but more importantly he's going to give you meds. Unfortunately the best meds for anxiety are also extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely addictive. But, fuck, do they work good. If you can avoid the meds, by all means, awesome. But know that they're there and they work.

Are you having any physical symptoms? Loss of appetite, tremors, lack of sleep, heart palpatations, weak knees, constantly tired? If so, then I highly recommend meds because they work for that kind of stuff. Not sure about the social aspect. Never experienced it so maybe all yout need is some therapy. But I'm also not a doctor so what do I know
 
I can relate to what you're going through, but mine isn't/wasn't as severe. As weird as it sounds, just forcing yourself to go out and socialize makes all of it much easier. You'll still get some odd unrational perceptions or whatever...but it'll work.
 
Tieno said:
Force yourself into situations where you don't have a way out?
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this.

i actually took a communications class in uni for comp sci students and it was focused around public speaking. basically the mantra of the class was to overcome by doing.
 
Oh yeah. I get that way sometimes (avoiding calling or having conversations with people). Doesn't happen very often (maybe once every few months for a day or so), so I'm fine the rest of the time.

Don't know what causes it.
 
My grandpa, dad, my sister, and myself all have chronic anxiety and sometimes its good to talk about your fears and stresses, from my experience. Every time I get up in the morning I have to force confidence, because if I don't, I couldn't function daily. It's really not easy, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Hope that helps.
 
-COOLIO- said:
this.

i actually took a communications class in uni for comp sci students and it was focused around public speaking. basically the mantra of the class was to overcome by doing.
Click to expand...


having fear of public speaking and have a chemical imbalance in your brain are two very different things.
 
Atramental said:
My social anxiety gets even worse when I'm on the BJU campus. I feel like a spy behind enemy lines in a strange and foreign land. Everything and everyone there is so backwards and alien to me. And because I can't relate to anyone there, I just hide in my car whenever I don't have class and just browse the Internet until my next class.
Click to expand...
is that Bob Jones University? If I were there, I would literally be a spy behind enemy lines in a strange and foreign land.

Perhaps it is not you, it is them.
 
You need to get out of that college, dude. Spies sometimes suffer mental breakdowns because they feel extremely alienated with no reprieve in sight. Same thing is happening to you because you just feel so isolated within that community. Get to a state uni and enjoy your anonymity.
 
Teh Hamburglar said:
having fear of public speaking and have a chemical imbalance in your brain are two very different things.
Click to expand...
Pretty much everyone has a fear of public speaking. People fear it more than death.

I'm not as bad now because I just don't give a fuck. Of course, that basically just lead to another whole host of different and vexing problems.
 
Atramental said:
Over these past couple of months I find that it's becoming much more difficult for me to talk and to interact with people.

Whenever I'm out in public I feel like everyone is watching me and that they know my "secrets". Whenever my phone rings my heart skips a beat. I get even more tense when I see it's a number that I'm unfamiliar with. Also, when I'm put into a situation in which I have to talk to people that I don't know very well, I want to just run away from that location and hide from them. It's even worse when I'm talking to women. I just want to crawl into a corner and die.

I can no longer maintain eye contact when I'm talking to someone for more than a few seconds. When someone asks me how my day is going I only reply with, "Good." and I then proceed to whip out my phone and act like I'm texting someone. My social anxiety gets even worse when I'm on the BJU campus. I feel like a spy behind enemy lines in a strange and foreign land. Everything and everyone there is so backwards and alien to me. And because I can't relate to anyone there, I just hide in my car whenever I don't have class and just browse the Internet until my next class. Then when I'm in a classroom setting I get really tense. I feel like I could say or do something wrong at any second and look like a complete idiot. So I keep my movements at a minimum and my mouth shut. Also, on rare occasions I sometimes run into people that I knew from high school. I begin to panic when I see one of these persons from my not so distant past because I realize how much of a loser I've become. I'm basically a hermit that has no friends and browses the Internet all day. I can't remember how many lies I've told these former classmates of mine.

Right now I'm at home just laying awake in my bed typing this on my phone and wanting tomorrow and the next 3 years of my college days to go by quick and painless. I have to wake up at six so I might be on here briefly to only view your replies.

So GAF, do I need to go see a shrink?
Click to expand...

I'm exactly the same way and I'm 35. My advice is to do something about it now, while you're young. Go to a shrink, force yourself into social situations, join some clubs. You don't want to end up still having social phobia when you're old like me. For the love of Christ, take some action now.
 
Tieno said:
Maybe, but start small. I don't think there's a magic 'pill' that'll take all your problems away.
Click to expand...

Ya, the pills are more of a bandaid than a cure..but man do they help in the short run
 
Tapiozona said:
Yes, yes you do need to see a shrink. And he'll talk to you a bit, but more importantly he's going to give you meds. Unfortunately the best meds for anxiety are also extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely addictive. But, fuck, do they work good. If you can avoid the meds, by all means, awesome. But know that they're there and they work.

Are you having any physical symptoms? Loss of appetite, tremors, lack of sleep, heart palpatations, weak knees, constantly tired? If so, then I highly recommend meds because they work for that kind of stuff. Not sure about the social aspect. Never experienced it so maybe all yout need is some therapy. But I'm also not a doctor so what do I know
Click to expand...

Really? I take Xanax for anxiety and while it certainly helps, it isn't all that good. It wears off quickly and when it does wear off the anxiety comes back even stronger.
 
speculawyer said:
Pretty much everyone has a fear of public speaking. People fear it more than death.

I'm not as bad now because I just don't give a fuck. Of course, that basically just lead to another whole host of different and vexing problems.
Click to expand...


yeah but my point is social anxiety isn't something you can push through by sheer will alone. Its going to take some professional help. Whether that be medicine or talk therapy, its still going to need someone skilled in what they're talking about to help you out. If mental illness were as easy as "snapping out of it" then we wouldn't have need for therapists or eli lily.
 
speculawyer said:
Pretty much everyone has a fear of public speaking. People fear it more than death.

I'm not as bad now because I just don't give a fuck. Of course, that basically just lead to another whole host of different and vexing problems.
Click to expand...
thats the trick though.

id get up there and think "im fuckin rich. i dont give a FUCK". then drop the mic when i was done.
 
I found myself in that rut a few months ago. Also, I would rethink any conversation I had over in my head and think of what I should of said, how I said it, how to say it better next time. Joining an online clan for CS (having to speak on the mic with strangers) and moving to a house with roommates actually snapped me out of it.

You really just need to put yourself into uncomfortable, social situations until you get into a comfortable rhythm again.

Be strong!
 
aswedc said:
Why are you assuming the OP has a chemical imbalance?
Click to expand...


I'm not assuming anything. What OP described goes far and beyond simple public speaking phobia. Hes demonstrated clear aversion behavior. Thats why I recommended he seek professional help and skip all these armchair psychologists.
 
Trent Strong said:
I'm exactly the same way and I'm 35. My advice is to do something about it now, while you're young. Go to a shrink, force yourself into social situations, join some clubs. You don't want to end up still having social phobia when you're old like me. For the love of Christ, take some action now.
Click to expand...
it's easier when youre young but anyone can change.
 
Trent Strong said:
Really? I take Xanax for anxiety and while it certainly helps, it isn't all that good. It wears off quickly and when it does wear off the anxiety comes back even stronger.
Click to expand...

I can't say I've ever had any social anxiety problems but I did have a lot of physical problems related to anxiety. They literally all disappeared days after I started taking Ativan (I was taking it morning and night and never felt any lapse in the medicinal effects). I felt completely normal and like a 1000 pound burden was taken off my shoulders when I was on it. I did go through horrible withdrawl when I finally got off of it but it was well worth it.
 
Sounds like me, I don't answer the phone or talk to anyone I don't know. I don't gout out of the house aside from work, I tried to fix myself and met up with a couple of people from Myspace a couple of years back but it ended in disaster and probably made me worse. With people I'm familiar with I'm a completely different person, outgoing and very social but I don't know many people at all.

I went to the doctor twice about depression and both times they were not interested. I had my suicide all planned out and everything! They didn't even care :lol :(
 
PumpkinPie said:
Sounds like me, I don't answer the phone or talk to anyone I don't know. I don't gout out of the house aside from work, I tried to fix myself and met up with a couple of people from Myspace a couple of years back but it ended in disaster and probably made me worse. With people I'm familiar with I'm a completely different person, outgoing and very social but I don't know many people at all.

I went to the doctor twice about depression and both times they were not interested. I had my suicide all planned out and everything! They didn't even care :lol :(
Click to expand...

Thats awful. Keep looking for a doctor though. Thats no way to live life :( Things can be so much better!
 
Tapiozona said:
Yes, yes you do need to see a shrink. And he'll talk to you a bit, but more importantly he's going to give you meds. Unfortunately the best meds for anxiety are also extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely addictive. But, fuck, do they work good. If you can avoid the meds, by all means, awesome. But know that they're there and they work.

Are you having any physical symptoms? Loss of appetite, tremors, lack of sleep, heart palpatations, weak knees, constantly tired? If so, then I highly recommend meds because they work for that kind of stuff. Not sure about the social aspect. Never experienced it so maybe all yout need is some therapy. But I'm also not a doctor so what do I know
Click to expand...
That's not true...

OP, see a doctor, not GAF. There are a lot of good meds out there that may work for you. Xanax isn't the only thing in the world, and is more of an "in the moment" treatment of a panic attack. There are a host of one-a-days that can help to just lower your anxiety in general. Talk to your doctor.

Talk to your doctor. And don't listen to bullshit from people that say you should just get over it, or "I once was scared of making speeches, but then I just thought "nah, it's ok!" and now it's cool". There is a huge difference between normal human nervousness and someone with legit anxiety problems.

Talk to your doctor.
 
I'm pretty much the same as the OP. I have no answers though, i just accepted that i was in general a quiet introverted bastard with no real need for large social interactions. I've always been withdrawn from it all, even when it comes to my folks.

If you're seriously worried about it then go see a shrink and talk to a doctor. I've thought about seeing a shrink but considering most people i know use me for relationship advice / treat me like i'm a shrink, i figured i would just piss the poor old bastard off if i went.
 
Anyone ever try beta blockers? my doc had me try these at first before we moved onto possibly addictive meds and they did shit for me.
 
I should point out that as a teenager, I had really bad social anxiety. I'd actively avoid parties and stuff and make excuses so I wouldn't need to be around people.

I grew out of it, but it would've been nice to have known what brought it on in the first place.
 
evlcookie said:
I'm pretty much the same as the OP. I have no answers though, i just accepted that i was in general a quiet introverted bastard with no real need for large social interactions. I've always been withdrawn from it all, even when it comes to my folks.

If you're seriously worried about it then go see a shrink and talk to a doctor. I've thought about seeing a shrink but considering most people i know use me for relationship advice / treat me like i'm a shrink, i figured i would just piss the poor old bastard off if i went.
Click to expand...
You too, talk to your doctor.
 
Teh Hamburglar said:
Anyone ever try beta blockers? my doc had me try these at first before we moved onto possibly addictive meds and they did shit for me.
Click to expand...

Which meds fall into the beta blocker catageory?
 
Tapiozona said:
Which meds fall into the beta blocker catageory?
Click to expand...


They're normally given to people with high blood pressure but they're also known to supress the flight or fight response present with people with anxiety.

Propranolol is a beta blocker. Hmm, i can't even remember the other names. They're not too popular but we wanted to try them because I didn't want to risk addiction. But after awhile it became the only real option (to try the heavy hitters that is).
 
I'm no expert but it does sound like you should so a counselor or something. You sound very paranoid for no reason. Best of luck to you.
 
I'm in a similar situation and the only suggestion I have is that you find something new to spice things up in your life. That kind of anxiety can only go away with the help of professionals and new hobbies. You have to make an effort to see new places and once you've done that people will slowly wade in and out of your life.

Hope this helps...
Atramental said:
One more thing I forgot to add, I feel like my parents (especially my mom) have complete control over me. I have never really had a chance to make my own choices. I was basically scared into going to BJU because my parents were acting like the next great depression was going to hit as soon as Obama got into office and that money would be really tight.

Money is tight but it wouldn't be if my parents hadn't spent tens of thousands of dollars to send me to a private Christian school from K5 to my senior year of high school...
Click to expand...
I can relate to this. Most of my life was spent dealing with my parents overreactions to the smallest things. The best thing you can do at this point is NOT concern yourself with what your parents are feeling and thinking. My parents could have easily funded a four year college for me but decided that they would get better results by nagging me to start classes right out of HS. Their nagging then cost me an acceptance to a four year school with good engineering programs(relatively good) and got me stuck in a CC while working a shitty job with no academic goals or directions in sight.

If you let them control you like this you WILL need a psychiatrist. Trust me on this.
 
Atramental said:
One more thing I forgot to add, I feel like my parents (especially my mom) have complete control over me. I have never really had a chance to make my own choices. I was basically scared into going to BJU because my parents were acting like the next great depression was going to hit as soon as Obama got into office and that money would be really tight.

Money is tight but it wouldn't be if my parents hadn't spent tens of thousands of dollars to send me to a private Christian school from K5 to my senior year of high school...
Click to expand...
If you're parents are paying for your school and you'll exit without more than $5k of debt, don't complain.
 
viciouskillersquirrel said:
I should point out that as a teenager, I had really bad social anxiety. I'd actively avoid parties and stuff and make excuses so I wouldn't need to be around people.

I grew out of it, but it would've been nice to have known what brought it on in the first place.
Click to expand...


90% of teenagers are socially awkward in one way or another. i think most of us got way better
 
derder said:
If you're parents are paying for your school and you'll exit without more than $5k of debt, don't complain.
Click to expand...

That's arguable, but I'd rather take the debt and have a real college experience. You can't get those years back.
 
nomster said:
That's arguable, but I'd rather take the debt and have a real college experience. You can't get those years back.
Click to expand...
Not to mention a BJU education probably closes as many doors as it opens.
 
You'll get over it if you slowly move into situations that are just outside your comfort zone - don't jump into like... an orgy and expect it to cure you, but work your way up (to an orgy).

I still have problems where my speech impediments will surface when I am in a new social situation, but I just remind myself to take it slow, really think about what I am saying, and eventually I become comfortable and the impediments go back to the depths where they belong.
 
I have the same exact issues as you and I'm about to just bite the bullet and go see a doctor. I've always been "I don't need that shit," but I'm at the point now where social connection and networking is pretty vital...I need to be able to get over this.
 
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