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[shadowsdarknes]

Your pathetic attempt to troll this thread (and many others) doesn't really work when we know it's coming.

Broski, stop listening to the trolls and listen to someone like me who was the same exact kid as your son is. Get him into martial arts. Forget the bullshit stigma society puts on it and kids in it, he will be a much better kid because of it and be a role model to his friends as he grows older.

 

[MC Safety]

So motive doesn't figure into punishment at all? Only the action?

The school clearly has rules (ignored in two cases) against violence. And yet the actual instigator in the scenario (as we're not pretending this is two separate incidences) gets off with a far lighter punishment than OP's son. Surely the OP is warranted in raising objections with the school over this fact?

It's called no tolerance for a reason. It's because sending a message -- any message -- other than no tolerance has not worked.

 

[J10]

Sometimes shit like Columbine happens because we let bullies get away with this kind of bullshit for far too long. Maybe this douchebag will think twice before doing this to someone else, and maybe your son has inspired other kids to not take shit from bullies. Your son is a hero in my book.

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

I agree and will add there is a danger in trying to draw the line on what is the proper amount of self-defense. Violent self-defense is not a rational time. I was on a jury selection and I found my opinions on this subject really outnumbered and it disturbed me.

She was standing at the bathroom mirror and this girl walks in, who she had never seen before, no idea who she was, and this girl slaps her very hard in the back of the head, grabs her hair and pushes her head into the bathroom mirror. When my daughter was able to turn around, she had to punch the girl in the face so she would let go of her hair and then my daughter got on top of her and kept punching her in the face. Gave the girl a black eye and bloody lip.

This is what I think taking it too far means. Punching the girl in the face to get her off is fine, jumping on the girl goes overboard. Obviously in a fight you aren't thinking clearly and this can happen. You just want the person to stop and maybe the only way you think that can happen is to beat them up so much they won't be able to fight back.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

I never understood the efficacy of suspensions. No school for week for a kid is like a godsend.

It's the parents they are punishing.

 

[marrec]

Broski, stop listening to the trolls and listen to someone like me who was the same exact kid as your son is. Get him into martial arts. Forget the bullshit stigma society puts on it and kids in it, he will be a much better kid because of it and be a role model to his friends as he grows older.

Maybe it'll teach him some discipline so that he's not beating people up anymore.

*tee hee*

(Okay, that was a joke, don't get your son to come beat me up CommonSense)

[That was a joke as well.]

 

[criesofthepast]

I hope you reward your son for being awesome.

 

[CommonSense]

Wife says bully comes from a broken family and that the mother is sure it's her kid's fault and she is sorry. she is going to put him in couseling.

Oh boy.....now the step-dad i guess called her and said "you blacks get all the breaks"

got to go....now I'm pissed.

 

[Karsticles]

Modern morality.

This is why I want to home school my children.

 

[dark_chris]

Talk to the press and say shit about the school supporting bullies.

 

[EVOL 100%]

I think what Marrec is getting at is that in real life, shit happens and even if you were in the right, or at least less in the wrong when you commit violence of some sort it rarely works out for you and you should teach your kids that's how the world works.

Sorry if I misinterpreted.

 

[Maxwood]

Still, he stood up for his friend and defended someone "weak". That's a bloody hero.
I don't approve the violence and recommend saying something about that, but bullying is even worse (and frustratingly overlooked, but I won't get started about that ) Bit of a pickle.

But like said before, he's a hero. He should know that.

 

[Dunlop]

It's good that your son stood up to a bully, but what exactly do you expect the school to do? They have their own policies that need to be followed and violence is almost assuredly not allowed in any situation.

 

[shadowsdarknes]

It's not about blowing your children off, it's about teaching them to accept consequences. I know how it feels to want to aid your kid, trust me, but 'going to court' for you son is in my opinion the wrong way to go about this.

You should probably stop telling other parents how to raise there kids. You don't need to treat kids like they are brainless meat puppets. They can understand violence is bad but defending the weak is good. Over time they will grow with that lesson and realize violence isn't the answer, and teach themselves new ways to deal with bullies without resorting to violence.

I think what Marrec is getting at is that in real life, shit happens and even if you were in the right, or at least less in the wrong when you commit violence of some sort it rarely works out for you and you should teach your kids that's how the world works.

Sorry if I misinterpreted.

This is one of many life lessons. Do you honestly think common sense won't get around to teaching his son the harsh realities of the world at some other point in his life when the time is right? Jeez, why are some posters acting like this is the pivotal moment in Commonsense's son's life?

 

[tycoonheart]

It's not about blowing your children off, it's about teaching them to accept consequences. I know how it feels to want to aid your kid, trust me, but 'going to court' for you son is in my opinion the wrong way to go about this.

Dude. Holy shit. He knows his son. He knows how his son is. If he says his son isn't the type of person to do something like this, something obviously triggered him to react this way. If his son has been involved in altercations like this previously, THEN maybe you let it go and not defend your son in front of the school. But when he's never done anything like this, you go to school and defend him and say its not right for the known bully to get away almost scott free while his son is serving suspension.

 

[weekend_warrior]

Wife says bully comes from a broken family and that the mother is sure it's her kid's fault and she is sorry. she is going to put him in couseling.

Oh boy.....now the step-dad i guess called her and said "you blacks get all the breaks"

got to go....now I'm pissed.

Oh shit.

 

[AlimNassor]

My friend got kicked out his 9th grade year for fighting back. He was constantly bullied by the star football player, it was insane how much that guy hated my friend, he made his life both at school and home a living hell. Nothing was done, the school pretty much just said "boys will be boys". My friend finally stands up for himself and gets labeled a violent racist. It didn't matter the bully started the fight, and has always attacked my friend. Boys will be boys...-__-

 

[Choke on the Magic]

Wife says bully comes from a broken family and that the mother is sure it's her kid's fault and she is sorry. she is going to put him in couseling.

Oh boy.....now the step-dad i guess called her and said "you blacks get all the breaks"

got to go....now I'm pissed.

I think I just got a reality check with this post for when my kids start school. I better not ever here that shit.

 

[marrec]

I think what Marrec is getting at is that in real life, shit happens and even if you were in the right, or at least less in the wrong when you commit violence of some sort it rarely works out for you and you should teach your kids that's how the world works.

Sorry if I misinterpreted.

Yes, that's exactly it.

I have a hard time breaking those kind of thoughts down in a succinct fashion sometimes as I may not be as empathetic towards others as I should.

 

[layzie1989]

This is one of those TV moments where you should be proud of your son for defending someone. Seen it a million times before.

 

[shira]

Prolly a really great opportunity to talk with staff and this kids parents.

Get a nice roundtable and stop this cycle or at least educate 2-3 people for a few minutes

 

[marrec]

Prolly a really great opportunity to talk with staff and this kids parents.

Get a nice roundtable and stop this cycle or at least educate 2-3 people for a few minutes

This sounds like a great idea.

 

[GQman2121]

You need to have a sit down with the bully's parents, the teacher who's class they were in at the time, the vice principal for that grade, and the parents of the kid who was being bullied.

They're old enough at that age where kids don't allow things to pass or kiss and make up. This could and likely will happen again unless all the cards are laid on the table. The school needs to know what exactly happened, why it happened and what they're going to do if something similar happens again.

 

[BronsonLee]

Yes, that's exactly it.

I have a hard time breaking those kind of thoughts down in a succinct fashion sometimes as I may not be as empathetic towards others as I should.

I think you should understand that your advice is twofold; there are consequences for not helping your friends when they're in trouble, too.

You are correct in that there should be punishment, but you presented it in a really terrible manner.

 

[marrec]

I think you should understand that your advice is twofold; there are consequences for not helping your friends when they're in trouble, too.

You are correct in that there should be punishment, but you presented it in a really terrible manner.

My advice to him, as a father, is that instead of trying to lessen his sons punishment or increase the punishment of the bully, he should do as a poster above me said and bring everyone in for a talk about what happened.

 

[dionysus]

I think what Marrec is getting at is that in real life, shit happens and even if you were in the right, or at least less in the wrong when you commit violence of some sort it rarely works out for you and you should teach your kids that's how the world works.

Sorry if I misinterpreted.

Marrec's posts are a little confusing. At first I thought he was saying violence is never the answer. Now I read it as violence can be morally correct but bad shit still often happens to you as a result. Which I can agree with.

What I still don't agree with is saying that the parents shouldn't try to correct an injustice that occurs to their kid just because the kid might take away the wrong lesson from the whole event. The kid should see his parents also trying to do the right thing even if ultimately it is pointless and the kid is going to ISS.

I think ultimately if I were the parent, I would tell my child that sometimes bad consequences arise from good actions, especially where violence is involved. Do we do what is right because it leads to good consequences, or do we do what is right because it is right.

Then, if they are old enough, you could nuance the discussion by discussing how hard it is to know as an adult when and where to pick and choose your battles, even the nonviolent ones. There is a lot of injustice in the world after all.

Edit. Fixed some mistakes in the post.

 

[Indrid Cold1]

Yes, that's exactly it.

I have a hard time breaking those kind of thoughts down in a succinct fashion sometimes as I may not be as empathetic towards others as I should.

Yea, you call people "fuckers" out of nowhere. What is your deal guy? op's handling this right. Your argument that he isnt is flawed as hell.

 

[marrec]

Yea, you call people "fuckers" out of nowhere. Whst is your deal guy? op's handling this right. Your argument that he isnt is flawed as hell.

I didn't call him a fucker out of nowhere, he suggested that I should not have children when in fact I'm already a father. That's a cause for calling a guy fucker.

To bring this back around, if I had been banned for that, I would completely understand the punishment and not raise a fit about it even if I was correct in calling him a fucker.

 

[BronsonLee]

My advice to him, as a father, is that instead of trying to lessen his sons punishment or increase the punishment of the bully, he should do as a poster above me said and bring everyone in for a talk about what happened.

I may be mistaken here, but I didn't get that vibe from any of your posts prior to this one at all.

Edit: While you claim it was fine to call the dude a fucker, you started the issue in the first place by essentially saying he didn't know what he was doing. He responded in kind.

 

[DarthWoo]

Talk to the press and say shit about the school supporting bullies.

I was going to suggest this as well. It's just the sort of thing that the investigative reporters of local affiliates eat up. They often and rightly show stories illustrating just how broken supposed "zero tolerance" policies are.

 

[Zizbuka]

Call a meeting with the Principal, or higher if you can, and bring your son. At the meeting, tell your son you're proud of him for doing what the school didn't have the balls to do. How glad you are that he's not like the spineless school officials who don't have the guts to discipline a bully, because his parents are no doubt bigger douchebags than the kid.

Then let your kid stay home sick days 1, 2, 4 and 5 (so he won't need a doctor note).

 

[AbsolutBro]

It's called no tolerance for a reason. It's because sending a message -- any message -- other than no tolerance has not worked.

But apparently there IS tolerance. The bully got one day of detention (which doesnt have a chance to fuck with grades) for shaking/assaulting the smaller kid.

OP's son got a week (5 days I presume) of ISS, which CAN fuck with grades. For two punches to defend the smaller child.

You dont see a disconnect here? You dont see this as the school tolerating the bully's actions more than OP's son's actions?

Clearly the "Zero Tolerance" message is not working either.

 

[meltingparappa]

The bully probably has a sad sad home life, with a totalitarian or absent father.

Hence, your son wins in the long run!

 

[lil smoke]

I think what Marrec is getting at is that in real life, shit happens and even if you were in the right, or at least less in the wrong when you commit violence of some sort it rarely works out for you and you should teach your kids that's how the world works.

Sorry if I misinterpreted.

"Violence is bad" is common sense. I don't get the idea that OP is rtelling his son anything different.

This is another. more complex life lesson to teach.

 

[DarthWoo]

But apparently there IS tolerance. The bully got one day of detention (which doesnt have a chance to fuck with grades) for shaking/assaulting the smaller kid.

OP's son got a week (5 days I presume) of ISS, which CAN fuck with grades. For two punches to defend the smaller child.

You dont see a disconnect here? You dont see this as the school tolerating the bully's actions more than OP's son's actions?

Clearly the "Zero Tolerance" message is not working either.

Zero tolerance is a tool for those of zero intelligence.

 

[marrec]

"Violence is bad" is common sense. I don't get the idea that OP is rtelling his son anything different.

This is another. more complex life lesson to teach.

That's my point is that this is more complex then 'My son defended his friend, he's a hero!'.

 

[CommonSense]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

 

[TommyT]

Wife says bully comes from a broken family and that the mother is sure it's her kid's fault and she is sorry. she is going to put him in couseling.

Oh boy.....now the step-dad i guess called her and said "you blacks get all the breaks"

got to go....now I'm pissed.

:lol herewego.gif

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

Who's setting up the Get-CommonSense-Out-Of-Jail-On-Bail fund? I'll donate!

 

[MC Safety]

But apparently there IS tolerance. The bully got one day of detention (which doesnt have a chance to fuck with grades) for shaking/assaulting the smaller kid.

OP's son got a week (5 days I presume) of ISS, which CAN fuck with grades. For two punches to defend the smaller child.

You dont see a disconnect here? You dont see this as the school tolerating the bully's actions more than OP's son's actions?

Clearly the "Zero Tolerance" message is not working either.

Zero tolerance is for physical violence. The school has obviously made a distinction. I do not agree with the distinction.

The post I responded to asked if motivation played into this. It does not with zero tolerance.

 

[meltingparappa]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

Oh CHRIST!

 

[lil smoke]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

So they are also a racist family as well as homophobes. Maybe you should actually ignore that family before shit gets serious. I know I'd take it too far.

 

[pompidu]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

Don't do something stupid.

 

[triplestation]

are you laughing nowwwwwwyyyouuuuuuu motherfuckkkkerrrrrrr

 

[Korey]

Wife says bully comes from a broken family and that the mother is sure it's her kid's fault and she is sorry. she is going to put him in couseling.

Oh boy.....now the step-dad i guess called her and said "you blacks get all the breaks"

got to go....now I'm pissed.

...didn't your son get the harsher punishment?

 

[daycru]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

Why does weekend dad have your phone number?

 

[Transhuman]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

You should go to his house and shake him while calling him a "faggot". Circle of life. Whatever you do, don't throw him down in front of your kid's former pee wee Football team.

 

[Jorok Goldblade]

My kid said the bully was shaking a really small kid and calling him a faggot when he snapped and punched him twice in the stomach. This kid has been picking on kids since atleast the 2nd grade.

I expressed I was proud of him for defending his friend but upset that he had to resort to violence. He countered with "remember when you threw Mr. Osborne down for using the n word dad?"

He's a good kid. I feel really bad as he's never been in trouble before. I am meeting thr principal at 3 today.

Definitely mention this part. Especially if the school has a zero tolerance policy on hate speech. I know a kid who got off the hook for punching a bully when the school found out that the bully had been making fun of her for being chinese.

 

[AbsolutBro]

Zero tolerance is a tool for those of zero intelligence.

I completely agree. Zero tolerance policies do more harm than good, IMO.

Zero tolerance is for physical violence. The school has obviously made a distinction. I do not agree with the distinction.

The post I responded to asked if motivation played into this. It does not with zero tolerance.

Ah, apologies I misunderstood the point of your post then.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

So step dad wasn't who called my wife...he thinks his son is at fault. I just talked to him.

Now real dad told my wife "you blacks get all the breaks. I hope your son gets expelled you filthy bastards"

I am leaving now and calling that man asap. You DO NOT speak to my wife like that. Period.

Your last name isn't Black is it? D:

 

[EVOL 100%]

"Violence is bad" is common sense. I don't get the idea that OP is rtelling his son anything different.

This is another. more complex life lesson to teach.

That wasn't what I was getting at. Even if you were just in your actions, sometimes the results are unjust, since the world isn't always just. In a twisted way the school's fucked up behavior it's kind of an unintended lesson that teaches you the world is fucked up too, and is full of injustice, and that sometimes you have to bear the consequences of your actions no matter how just they were. At least that's how I learned that back in the day, in experience.

But I'm not a father, and I don't really have any authority on the subject of parenting. Just throwing out my opinion here.