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My wife and I just separated
- Thread starter PARANO1A
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Fixed !! Fixed !! Fixed !!
You'll get over this much much quicker than if you had children involved.
I got divorced 10 years ago. The divorce still hurts and haunts me to this day. Not because I miss my ex-wife, but because we had a child together and me being only a weekend dad and living 75 miles away from our daughter has affected her in very negative ways and she's a troubled teen.
What are you trying to say here?--that his relationship status somehow magically invalidates what he is saying?
Not wanting to get married is cool, but if it's just because of the money thing just get a pre-nup.
it works both ways too if the girl also owns something of value.
here's a hint men: marry a women who makes more money than you
Yeah agreed its really both reasons though lol.
Tell me more and please explain
Rocket Scientist
Member
Thank you.
Winnie the Pimp
Member
as far as i know, as long as you have a prenup and you only use that joint account for common/joint ventures there should be no problem in doing so
Oh ok. Well I meant just in general anyway.
She will probably get the kids and when it comes to child support....
Never.
From the last page:
What I'm trying to say is that even if you think you know a person I would take all precautions available.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
Be careful about who you marry.Let this be a lesson to gaffers.
Hari Seldon
Member
If my wife and I split up I would not remarry. It is too dangerous for a guy with a job to get married in today's society.
Whether I want to or not, I'm never getting married.
Blue Submarine No. 6
Member
Best advice I can give you (and I lived through it):
- Get a lawyer. (best money you will EVER spend)
- Get a cat (or two).
- Take it one day at a time.
Rocket Scientist
Member
OP... is the wife?
That judge sounds like a dude. "i can't let you get fucked in the ass. i just can't".
I know your emotional right now, but you really need to step back and look at the situation from a financial standpoint. I'm reading you just gave her 10k? Don't do this crap, man. Once you guys lawyer up no one is going to give a shit about your 'good faith' gestures. Also, FILE FOR DIVORCE TODAY. That marks the legal 'line in the sand' regarding all of the finances. Until you do that, it's still all pooled money (spent and earned) which will come back and bite you in the ass.
And hey, man, mortgage rates are really low now, so if you do refinance you may end up reasonably well. Depends on what you owe vs what your home appraises for, but if you're ahead a decent way and really want the house, that might go ok.
In short, I know it's sad, but grab a hold of your balls before she does. Call a lawyer, and be aggressive. The legal system sucks, but you can either let it fuck you over, or let it do some fucking for you.
And hey, man, mortgage rates are really low now, so if you do refinance you may end up reasonably well. Depends on what you owe vs what your home appraises for, but if you're ahead a decent way and really want the house, that might go ok.
In short, I know it's sad, but grab a hold of your balls before she does. Call a lawyer, and be aggressive. The legal system sucks, but you can either let it fuck you over, or let it do some fucking for you.
yep, that's basically what he said and I think that's real cool of him cause I'm pretty certain he doesn't have to say anything.
On behalf of men everywhere i wanna shake his hand. A huge ceremony and everything with men from all over the world, those who have been divorced and fucked hard by divorce courts to those reticent about the idea of getting marriage giving him a standing ovation.
First post is always
I'm sure he'll love to think about that if he ends up losing the house that he paid for to someone who doesn't deserve it.
Yep, ;-).
I didn't plan it that way, but my wife does make much more than me and will make significantly more in the not so distant future. Enough so that I should be able to retire around 40 if I choose to.
I'm sorry to the OP though. Did you have any pre-marital counselling? We did before our marriage and in my opinion it is a very valuable thing to do. It will get you to discuss things you never really think of when you are young and less established in your life.
Nope.
Lol, thats exactly what I thought when I heard the story.
Bay Maximus
Banned
The money situation will work itself out. You seem to be financially stable so I'm sure you'll do fine there. The biggest, most important thing is you didn't have children. It'll take some time to get over the relationship I'm sure, but you never have to look back again.
Also, there's nothing wrong with grabbing a rebound. Just be careful is all I'd say.
Also, there's nothing wrong with grabbing a rebound. Just be careful is all I'd say.
LowEndTorque
Member
By the sounds of it you are a young and successful guy. The emotional effects will suck ass for a while (probably months) but you will get over it. You will take your licks, you will move on, and you will continue to be successful. Hell, you will probably even re-marry.
If there's one positive thing in this, it's that the two of you decided to do this before you had kids! That would have made the situation infinitely more painful and devastating.
If there's one positive thing in this, it's that the two of you decided to do this before you had kids! That would have made the situation infinitely more painful and devastating.
SillyEskimo
Member
My first marriage ended after 2 years and we were estranged and living separately for 1 year of that time. We married young (22). We sold the house and split all the debt. Well, that is glossing over things a tad since I got fucked a bit on the financial side, but you get the gist. At least I never had children with her. Thank fucking god for that. Other than that, she's been the best ex anyone could ever hope for. I haven't seen her in over a decade. It's like we each died and dropped off the face of the earth.
I had the guilt and stench of failure on me just as you describe. Seeing relatives all the time and having to tell them the wedding they attended less than 2 years ago is ending in divorce is awkward as hell. I also liked running into old friends years after the fact and having to explain the divorce that happened years ago. Ugh.
I bed hopped for about 6 years. That helped me a great deal actually. There was a healing process for me involving woman that found me amazing when the love of my life simply rejected me and walked away. There was no one else either. She just wanted to live alone. To this day, at age 37, she is still unmarried, living alone, and has a dozen cats. In many ways it would've been easier if there were a glaring problem in the relationship, but I've come to terms with the fact that I chose my life partner poorly and ignored some pretty flagrant signs that she was not the one for me. Or rather, I was not the one for her.
My current (2nd!) wife is amazing. I only found her after years of whoring around. After awhile, I found that lifestyle to be really empty (but fun!). Once in awhile, I still get upset at my first wife. Not really at her, but just because she wasted my time, you know what I mean? Sometimes it takes a new relationship to expose the flaws in your old one. In hindsight, my first wife was a terrible wife from the the moment we exchanged vows. It pains me to say this, but she settled on me. She never loved me like a wife should love her husband.
All of this taught me a lesson. It was the most difficult time of my life, but I emerged a much better man. I created amazing standards for my next relationship and eventually hit pay dirt. If I had to go through my first marriage in order to end up where I am today, then I would do it all over again. Divorce can make you a better person.
I had the guilt and stench of failure on me just as you describe. Seeing relatives all the time and having to tell them the wedding they attended less than 2 years ago is ending in divorce is awkward as hell. I also liked running into old friends years after the fact and having to explain the divorce that happened years ago. Ugh.
I bed hopped for about 6 years. That helped me a great deal actually. There was a healing process for me involving woman that found me amazing when the love of my life simply rejected me and walked away. There was no one else either. She just wanted to live alone. To this day, at age 37, she is still unmarried, living alone, and has a dozen cats. In many ways it would've been easier if there were a glaring problem in the relationship, but I've come to terms with the fact that I chose my life partner poorly and ignored some pretty flagrant signs that she was not the one for me. Or rather, I was not the one for her.
My current (2nd!) wife is amazing. I only found her after years of whoring around. After awhile, I found that lifestyle to be really empty (but fun!). Once in awhile, I still get upset at my first wife. Not really at her, but just because she wasted my time, you know what I mean? Sometimes it takes a new relationship to expose the flaws in your old one. In hindsight, my first wife was a terrible wife from the the moment we exchanged vows. It pains me to say this, but she settled on me. She never loved me like a wife should love her husband.
All of this taught me a lesson. It was the most difficult time of my life, but I emerged a much better man. I created amazing standards for my next relationship and eventually hit pay dirt. If I had to go through my first marriage in order to end up where I am today, then I would do it all over again. Divorce can make you a better person.
Joe Shlabotnik
Banned
Fun English major trivia facts: the context for this quote is the death of a loved one, not an acrimonious divorce.
Count Dookkake
Member
Oddest?
It's not even odd at all.
It is kinda odd that you think it is, but it's okay.
Go get some strange.
Pretty sure only people who never loved thinks this. I did too at that time.
This begs the question why you would even want to get married in the first place if you're worried about that. Well outside of tax reasons that is.
bengraven
Member
You know the worst part about making 3x what she does?
You might get stuck paying alimony. That's basically child support.
But in all seriousness, you have a lot going for you. That's a pretty great place to start coming out of a seperation/divorce. I'm sorry you had to face this though.
You might get stuck paying alimony. That's basically child support.
But in all seriousness, you have a lot going for you. That's a pretty great place to start coming out of a seperation/divorce. I'm sorry you had to face this though.
A gem right here!
bengraven
Member
...my grandfather and uncles shared that on Facebook a while ago.
Does that mean the OP needs to start listening to country music now?
Sorry to hear about this OP, unfortunately time is one thing that will help heal. Like others have said think about the things you couldn't do before and give those a shot. Just stay busy so you won't over think things, before you know it a day will go by when you don't think about her at all.
dave is ok
aztek is ok
Be happy you had a house
Except that you get to claim alimony as a tax deduction (and they have to claim it as income), no such luck with child support.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
This is all too much fancy talk. I'm going to stick to separate accounts.
JohnnyPhatsaqs
Banned
Sorry to hear that, OP. Sucks. I've been with my wife for 18 years, and we have two sons. Luckily, we have a great marriage. She's still my buddy after all these years. Marriage is work here and there. Obviously, I don't know you. Hopefully you're not giving up too soon. Sometimes plans change. If you truly love each other, it'll work out.
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