• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

My wife is being insufferable lately

My wife is Bi Polar, some days are a struggle.. we were almost separated last year after 5 years of marriage but we are currently working through our issues because she decided to seek therapy. Sorry your going through this friend. Marriage is tough.
 
Super Mario said:
Thanks to the matriarchy, this is the type of thinking that causes men stress, to die younger, misery, etc. "It's not her fault she's nuts. Just deal with it because that's the nice thing to do"

There's a reason why marriage isn't flourishing. Many people are wising up to something that they are consistently told "sure there may be many disadvantages, but do it anyways"
Click to expand...

if somone is sick, be it man or woman, they need help and support. That isn't an exclusively woman issue. I'm not sure where your comment is coming from regarding cornering it into that. When we get married we say in sickness and in health for a reason, because someone one of us needs support to get better. That includes mental illnesses.
 
That whole "you won the argument with opinions and evidence" part of your fight got me lol. Sounds like my girlfriend. Nothing she hates more than evidence or sound logic.
 
Hotspurr said:
Is this treatment for life?
Women tend to want control in a relationship and part of that is winning arguments. Even if you prove her wrong she will later retaliate in some way. This happens with every woman I have ever met. Likely the hormones amplified this basic woman thing.
Click to expand...

Women are very much like children, they need to test their authority figure to see their limits. When they get out of line, sometimes they need punishment, just like children do.

Marriages need more of this.

Spanking.jpg
 
Jooxed said:
My wife is Bi Polar, some days are a struggle.. we were almost separated last year after 5 years of marriage but we are currently working through our issues because she decided to seek therapy. Sorry your going through this friend. Marriage is tough.
Click to expand...

Same here. My wife had to actually be checked into an inpatient care facility to find a stable medication plan. Continuing therapy but I feel like she is back to her old persona which is great. Bi-polar is so difficult because while you are suffering from manic episodes there is no self-insight into exactly how destructive your behavior can be. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
 
sol_bad said:
Testosterone can make women aggressive. You should into alternate options. Progesterone and estrogen.
And if she is having hormonal issues, you really need to be there and support her as her husband. I know it can be really hard to understand for men but hormone imbalances can really fuck some women up and they can't help themselves.
Just keep looking for alternate options until something works.



If it's a hormone issue, therapy won't help.
Click to expand...

Listen to this!

I've been through this sort of hormonal imbalance before, during my only pregnancy and then after the miscarriage. She more than likely blames herself for the miscarriage in 2016 (mine was just last year and the "I'm failure as woman and mother" thoughts are still very real, therapy helped, but didn't erase them).

I don't think the testosterone is a good idea for your wife, short or long term, it's a male hormone after all, her mind and body will reject it, as you're seeing. My trans cousin went from female to male and he became overtly aggressive because of the testosterone, he felt he was losing himself and almost killed himself. Idk how you get this information to the doctor without it causing more conflict, but I think it's important not just for you, but for your wife and child, too. Especially the child, Mom is a very important person to any little one
 
Hotspurr said:
Is this treatment for life?
Women tend to want control in a relationship and part of that is winning arguments. Even if you prove her wrong she will later retaliate in some way. This happens with every woman I have ever met. Likely the hormones amplified this basic woman thing.

In my own marriage I used to never back down if I knew for a fact she was wrong. As time went on I found ways of incepting my wife and letting her find the truth on her own without proving her wrong to her face. I use the same technique at work with my boss to avoid making him look bad. The point is, no one likes to be wrong and especially to be shown to be wrong. You will need to find ways of being less adversarial. Quick apologies and "I love you"s usually diffuse a situation very quickly. Men who expect women to be perfectly rational and logical will have a terrible time in a marriage.
Click to expand...

I've learned how to defuse any situation with my wife with humour. I have this cheeky look I give her when she's mad and she always laughs, no matter the circumstance.
 
TindalosPup said:
Listen to this!

I've been through this sort of hormonal imbalance before, during my only pregnancy and then after the miscarriage. She more than likely blames herself for the miscarriage in 2016 (mine was just last year and the "I'm failure as woman and mother" thoughts are still very real, therapy helped, but didn't erase them).

I don't think the testosterone is a good idea for your wife, short or long term, it's a male hormone after all, her mind and body will reject it, as you're seeing. My trans cousin went from female to male and he became overtly aggressive because of the testosterone, he felt he was losing himself and almost killed himself. Idk how you get this information to the doctor without it causing more conflict, but I think it's important not just for you, but for your wife and child, too. Especially the child, Mom is a very important person to any little one
Click to expand...

You do know that females have testosterone too right. If her levels aren't lower than they should be, then don't give it to her.
 
There's a whole lot of virginity in this thread.

"Maybe she's reaching menopause. "
"Women tend to want control in a relationship and part of that is winning arguments "
"Trade her in "
"So she is a woman... "
" most of their wives are irrational and often argumentative "
"Nothing she hates more than evidence or sound logic. "

You guys need to get laid.





Honestly, OP, the problem is evident right here:
lock2k said:
She ended the conversation the same way a SJW does.
Click to expand...
Stop using meme-speak, and your life will immediately improve.
If my wife brought up newspeak like you've just done, we'd end up in an argument, just over that.
Speak intelligently when you want to have a proper conversation. It helps a lot.


But, anyway...
Everything you've described is just indicative of your typical person. She's wrong, but doesn't want to be wrong, so she's arguing for the sake of it. That's about as typical as it gets.
Nothing is wrong.
Just sit down and talk to her, calmly, and explain your views on the situation, and everything will be fine.
Communication is key. If you don't properly communicate, expect things to fall apart.
 
Immortal_Daemon said:
There's a whole lot of virginity in this thread.

"Maybe she's reaching menopause. "
"Women tend to want control in a relationship and part of that is winning arguments "
"Trade her in "
"So she is a woman... "
" most of their wives are irrational and often argumentative "
"Nothing she hates more than evidence or sound logic. "

You guys need to get laid.





Honestly, OP, the problem is evident right here:

Stop using meme-speak, and your life will immediately improve.
If my wife brought up newspeak like you've just done, we'd end up in an argument, just over that.
Speak intelligently when you want to have a proper conversation. It helps a lot.


But, anyway...
Everything you've described is just indicative of your typical person. She's wrong, but doesn't want to be wrong, so she's arguing for the sake of it. That's about as typical as it gets.
Nothing is wrong.
Just sit down and talk to her, calmly, and explain your views on the situation, and everything will be fine.
Communication is key. If you don't properly communicate, expect things to fall apart.
Click to expand...

Shut up, narc.
 
matt404au said:
Shut up, narc.
Click to expand...

What's this? Matthew derailing a thread? That's practically unheard of!

It's funny how often your frailty shows up. I just want to hug your big Totoro self, and tell you everything will be okay; I'm sorry your family didn't love you as a child, but I do now.

As usual, I agreed with your post; even though you seem to want to argue for no reason whatsoever.
matt404au said:
I've learned how to defuse any situation with my wife with humour. I have this cheeky look I give her when she's mad and she always laughs, no matter the circumstance.
Click to expand...

OP, humor is important in a relationship. Understand that not every battle has to be won. Just talk to her calmly, and all will be end up just fine.
 
Immortal_Daemon said:
What's this? Matthew derailing a thread? That's practically unheard of!

It's funny how often your frailty shows up. I just want to hug your big Totoro self, and tell you everything will be okay; I'm sorry your family didn't love you as a child, but I do now.

As usual, I agreed with your post; even though you seem to want to argue for no reason whatsoever.


OP, humor is important in a relationship. Understand that not every battle has to be won. Just talk to her calmly, and all will be end up just fine.
Click to expand...
I do use humor all the time, it is my primary way of dealing with things. Things are completely ok today and I think they will continue this way. Thanks for all of those who had constructive things to say. I will never write a thread like this again.
 
lock2k said:
She fights with me everyday over the stupidest things. We're about to turn 15 years together and 10 years married and we always had a great relationship but lately she had some hormonal dysfunctions and she has to take testosterone to normalize it but she has gotten very aggressive.
Click to expand...

Well, here is your answer.
Why exactly does she need to take testosterone?

Edit:
(usual caveats about thread on GAF not being medical advice)

The only reason for women to take testosterone I am aware of is to increase their libido which may work, also causes low voice and facial hair. I've never heard of women taking testosterone for any kind of "hormonal imbalance".

I'd make sure she is not seeing some kind of quack doctor.
 
Last edited:
Vicetrailia said:
You do know that females have testosterone too right. If her levels aren't lower than they should be, then don't give it to her.
Click to expand...

I'm well aware, that's basic Phys Ed and I've taken enough biology classes. I honestly think that it might be the case where she may not NEED it, at least not anymore. Hormone levels change more frequently (especially in women) than a prescription for such hormones would. The prescription doesn't adjust to these changes. If she was getting more than she needed it would cause her character to change, and disrupt the natural production and balance of said hormones. Just as if you were to take estrogen it would effect you; potential breast tissue development, low swimmers count/potential sterility, mood swings/crying fits, and changes in tone of voice

What's happening really should be discussed with a doctor. I think it's important to point out medicine never has an absolute answer, it's not math, and it's largely experimental. In this case I don't think the treatment is entirely beneficial, again, at least not anymore
 
Last edited:
lock2k said:
I've been trying that for a while. She did start seeing a therapist and she is doing this treatment. I just wanted to have normal conversations. It just pains me that when I talk to her I sincerely just want to talk and she is seeing everything as a contest lately. She is seeing aggressiveness where it doesn't exist.

The other day my daughter was worried because she saw us having an argument and she was telling me it will be ok and that she loves me. I felt so bad because she is 5 and she shouldn't have to see stuff like this.

I'd say things were never the same ever since we had a miscarriage in 2016. She was never the same after that. I also suffered a lot but a dark period started and it still didn't go away. I'll do my best to help her get through it.
Click to expand...
Well if she takes testosterone and is aggressive now, what makes you think a gay relationship is easier :messenger_winking_tongue: But yeah I'm sorry you and your wife have to go through something like this. Maybe she could try a diet change, the keto diet seems to be pretty good and helping and regulation hormonal problems, maybe you could check it out.
 
Well, has she brought the issue online seeking for forum members to validate she's right about this trivial issue?
No? But you did?

Not quite sure who is the crazy one here.

50% kidding, 50% serious
 
The solution is switching back and forth between treating her with tender affection and with withering, dismissive sarcasm, depending on her own mood.

She's playing games with you and you're making her excuses for her ("well... she's on some medication so...").

Get raging drunk and beat the shit out of her then blame the alcohol, see how that one works out. (the same excuse wouldn't hold)

She is to blame for her behavior. But you can be the man of the relationship by leading her out of it. When my wife gets irrationally moody with me, I get sarcastic -- feigning dullness and naivety -- until she stops. Something to the effect of:

Explain it to me plainly. No no, you're going off on a tangent now and I'm too stupid to handle all these words. Let's focus on the first accusation. Well now you're just getting upset and that's going to make it far harder for me to understand what you're talking about. Are these the kinds of conversations you enjoy having? Slow down, I'm too simple-minded to handle all these emotions you're adding into the argument. You seem very upset at me about something that has nothing to do with me.

She might get mad at you no matter what your response is, but there's nothing that short-circuits a woman more effectively than treating her like a petulant child, to toy with her right back to her face without backing down. Her tantrums rely on your goodwill, your willingness to stay in the conversation and act like the adult while she throws her fit. Shut that down with your feigned stupidity, wearing a grin.

And when she behaves like a normal human being? Show her love. Laugh with her. Share your own thoughts. Enjoy your time with her. You're an asshole sometimes too and she brushes off annoying things you do.
 
Pagusas said:
if somone is sick, be it man or woman, they need help and support. That isn't an exclusively woman issue. I'm not sure where your comment is coming from regarding cornering it into that. When we get married we say in sickness and in health for a reason, because someone one of us needs support to get better. That includes mental illnesses.
Click to expand...

I agree that you shouldn't run at the slightest inconvenience (because it works both ways). However, there is a line in the sand when enough to enough. After years of suffering from anxiety, depression, and being anti-social, I've learned to control it. It's very possible to control your issues, and not cast them upon your loved ones. That affects their health too.

matt404au said:
Even worse than feminists (ok not really but close).
Click to expand...

Agree to a degree. You will find many good arguments in there that you will NEVER see anywhere else because it is taboo. However, their whole "all women = bad" is a poor concept. No sane man would say that. Still though, it's good to understand your own worth.
 
I feel you op. I think my ex-wife must have always been having undiagnosed hormonal problems. :P

I remember one time not long after we were married she literally kept me up all night until sunrise arguing and poking at me over absolutely nothing. Little nitpicky arguments are so corrosive and exhausting. Ain't nobody got time for that.

1*8xraf6eyaXh-myNXOXkqLA.jpeg


The thing is that sometimes women feed on antagonizing their man. It's rooted in sexuality ultimately - like so many things. They're looking to be hit or fucked. (Not condoning the former, by any means.)
 
lock2k lock2k your post reminds me of that old quote: You can either be right or you can be happy. This is a trying time for you lock and to cope I really recommend you have a hobby/distraction that takes your mind off things be it gaming or taking a walk outside the home. If possible hanging around with your daughter at a park or playpen nearby should help divert her mind. On your own just walk to the nearest area around your home where you can spend around half an hour in silence. By this I mean a safe spot where you are fully secure so nowhere risky. You already have a great head on your shoulders but don't forget to message anyone of us if it gets too overwhelming.

P.S: I recommend you switch your wife's ringtone to this. Okay kidding, don't do this lest she go all Darth Vader and chop off your hand.
 
Ive been married only six months but by God has it been bad. She is not a bad person but women want to change you so much.
Why do you play video games when you should be talking to me?
Why do you wear that? You have no dressing sense.
You have no good clothes. Lets go buy a fortune's worth.
You didnt talk properly to my Aunt's daughter's third cousin. Why do you embarass me in front of my family?
Why dont you want to watch that stupid shitty Bollywood movie that i want to watch?
Why dont you finish all the food i get made from the maid which you dont like?
Why did you leave the plate there?
Why is the room not clean?
Please dont make any noise when you get ready in the morning.
Lets invite over some family member of mine every weekend.
And also lets buy a fucking expensive double bed for them cause God forbid if they have to sleep on a slightly smaller bed for one night! And of course you will pay (thats implied).
And if you ever dare discuss how both should pay equally, be ready to hear a list of things she bought for home which cost barely $5 a piece, while you pay humongous house rent every month, get groceries every evening, buy 55 inch TVs because room doesnt look good without it, get gas and take relatives some place every weekend.
Oh and nobody remembers that you paid for you expensive wedding and European honeymoon, where she insisted for skydiving and scuba diving, even though you didnt really want to do it, which she ended up not even doing cause she got scared and you had to pay anyway.

I could go on and on. Suffice to say, i understand what you are going through.
 
Last edited:
Thanks OP for telling me again why I didn't marry. #Not for me hash tag.
 
A woman once cheated on me - and I caught her and confronted her about it. The moment I confronted her I saw this look pure of guilt spread across her face.

She went quiet on me - but this only lasted about six seconds. Then she gathered herself and hardened up and started to bewitch me with language. At first it was hard to follow what she was even saying. Then it dawned on me that she was attempting to argue that it was my fault she cheated on me.

Fuck that shit... I sent her packing immediately with no further 'discussion'. It's like Chris Rock says: males are disadvantaged in arguments with females because we feel the need to make sense.
 
Siri said:
A woman once cheated on me - and I caught her and confronted her about it. The moment I confronted her I saw this look pure of guilt spread across her face.

She went quiet on me - but this only lasted about six seconds. Then she gathered herself and hardened up and started to bewitch me with language. At first it was hard to follow what she was even saying. Then it dawned on me that she was attempting to argue that it was my fault she cheated on me.

Fuck that shit... I sent her packing immediately with no further 'discussion'. It's like Chris Rock says: males are disadvantaged in arguments with females because we feel the need to make sense.
Click to expand...

I've heard men tell of the exact same reaction before when catching a woman cheating.
 
kittoo said:
Ive been married only six months but by God has it been bad. She is not a bad person but women want to change you so much.
Why do you play video games when you should be talking to me?
Why do you wear that? You have no dressing sense.
You have no good clothes. Lets go buy a fortune's worth.
You didnt talk properly to my Aunt's daughter's third cousin. Why do you embarass me in front of my family?
Why dont you want to watch that stupid shitty Bollywood movie that i want to watch?
Why dont you finish all the food i get made from the maid which you dont like?
Why did you leave the plate there?
Why is the room not clean?
Please dont make any noise when you get ready in the morning.
Lets invite over some family member of mine every weekend.
And also lets buy a fucking expensive double bed for them cause God forbid if they have to sleep on a slightly smaller bed for one night! And of course you will pay (thats implied).
And if you ever dare discuss how both should pay equally, be ready to hear a list of things she bought for home which cost barely $5 a piece, while you pay humongous house rent every month, get groceries every evening, buy 55 inch TVs because room doesnt look good without it, get gas and take relatives some place every weekend.
Oh and nobody remembers that you paid for you expensive wedding and European honeymoon, where she insisted for skydiving and scuba diving, even though you didnt really want to do it, which she ended up not even doing cause she got scared and you had to pay anyway.

I could go on and on. Suffice to say, i understand what you are going through.
Click to expand...
Did you make her sign a prenup
 
lock2k said:
She fights with me everyday over the stupidest things. We're about to turn 15 years together and 10 years married and we always had a great relationship but lately she had some hormonal dysfunctions and she has to take testosterone to normalize it but she has gotten very aggressive.

Tonight she was telling me that her best friend's brother who is less than 30 can't possibly be successful and he works in IT and has a manager position which seems to be very important. I researched a salary to his position out of curiosity and it seemed to fit the high salary description of what his sister said.

I showed my wife the salary list and she said Glassdoor was lying and she doesn't agree the guy has a great salary and she started a war about how I always try to one up people and I want to win all discussions with opinions and I said I was just researching an information out of curiosity. I told her that water is wet whether she likes it or not. She ended the conversation the same way a SJW does. By forcefully interrupting it and being completely irrational about it.

I swear sometimes I wish I was gay. Women are so fucking complicated over stupid things. Too bad. I love her but it's tiring as fuck.
Click to expand...

Serious talk OP. Take her away for the weekend and fuck her brains out. Like, toys, lube, fuck machines, anal, everything. That will sort her out.

It sounds crude, but it works. Take it from someone who was in that position. You can fight and argue until it ends in divorce, or you can smash her back doors in.
 
Being married is great, I can't imagine being 40+ and single; women are complicated, but they are the counter-balance, so patience and understanding is required.

(not silly debates)

Deep down, it's your fault OP, and you know it. Be a better man.
 
Last edited:
kittoo said:
Ive been married only six months but by God has it been bad. She is not a bad person but women want to change you so much.
Why do you play video games when you should be talking to me?
Why do you wear that? You have no dressing sense.
You have no good clothes. Lets go buy a fortune's worth.
You didnt talk properly to my Aunt's daughter's third cousin. Why do you embarass me in front of my family?
Why dont you want to watch that stupid shitty Bollywood movie that i want to watch?
Why dont you finish all the food i get made from the maid which you dont like?
Why did you leave the plate there?
Why is the room not clean?
Please dont make any noise when you get ready in the morning.
Lets invite over some family member of mine every weekend.
And also lets buy a fucking expensive double bed for them cause God forbid if they have to sleep on a slightly smaller bed for one night! And of course you will pay (thats implied).
And if you ever dare discuss how both should pay equally, be ready to hear a list of things she bought for home which cost barely $5 a piece, while you pay humongous house rent every month, get groceries every evening, buy 55 inch TVs because room doesnt look good without it, get gas and take relatives some place every weekend.
Oh and nobody remembers that you paid for you expensive wedding and European honeymoon, where she insisted for skydiving and scuba diving, even though you didnt really want to do it, which she ended up not even doing cause she got scared and you had to pay anyway.

I could go on and on. Suffice to say, i understand what you are going through.
Click to expand...

Please be a joke post. Holy fuck. If not bail out. Life is too short for that.

Yea it ain't easy dealing with hormone imbalances in a spouse. Wife's had issues her whole life and damn the mood swings and change in attitude at times makes me want to walk out the door. Ultimately it's not her fault. We're both aware whats going on. Still a great woman. Worth it for me.
 
G-Bus said:
Please be a joke post. Holy fuck. If not bail out. Life is too short for that.

Yea it ain't easy dealing with hormone imbalances in a spouse. Wife's had issues her whole life and damn the mood swings and change in attitude at times makes me want to walk out the door. Ultimately it's not her fault. We're both aware whats going on. Still a great woman. Worth it for me.
Click to expand...

Not a joke post at all. Oh and did i mention that we have sex barely once in a month cause she doesnt feel like it 99% of the time cause either she is not feeling well or cause she doesnt feel attracted since i am not dressing properly or not going to gym enough or some such.
What a pleasure.

SLoWMoTIoN said:
Did you make her sign a prenup
Click to expand...

No, but i dont have much left after the wedding and honeymoon and all these expenses :p
 
Last edited:
Cybrwzrd said:
Women are very much like children, they need to test their authority figure to see their limits. When they get out of line, sometimes they need punishment, just like children do.

Marriages need more of this.

Spanking.jpg
Click to expand...
Fuck that. Get me a switch or a belt. Discipline feels good. Time to low key blast that bitch in her poonanim
 
Stay strong op.

I'd suggest having a weekend apart, once she realises she's lashing out at others in your absence maybe she'll realise she has a problem.

Don't stay in an unhappy relationship under the guise of it being temporary, I've been married to someone battling depression for like 10 years and it's still not gotten any easier.
 
If it's only for 3 month just wait and see if she is the same after finishing the medication.

If she remain the same then you have a real problem.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

NeoGAF is painfully slow lately
21
626
John Marston replied
Wife Just Got Laid Off 😔
2
97
2K
Aesius replied
Movies You’ve Watched Lately | OT | - 2026
|OT| Social  13 14 15 16 17
802
9K
HRK69 replied
Being a Drifter
2
59
1K
Agave replied
D&D seems a bit different lately…
2 3 4 5
225
3K
The Fartist replied
Top Bottom