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[Marvel]

Call the police.

 

[HabeeNo]

RIP

 

[LordKasual]

Your wife is cheating on you with the milk man. Break up with her and start going to the gym

and make a thread about it

 

[StayDead]

If it's not a delivery mistake somebody may be trying to assassinate a local hedgehog. Stay vigilant.

Are you a hedgehog OP? If you are, run away fast.

 

[SexyFish]

OP I think you're in a Junji Ito manga and the milk will destroy you, your family, and community.


Drink it.

 

[Tom Nook]

Time to buy security cameras.

 

[youbastards]

Make some cows drink it and then point and laugh maniacally!

 

[creatchee]

 

[Sleight of Jam]

Maybe you blacked out and your alter ego bought them to mess with you.

 

[triplestation]

Godspeed spiderman

 

[toxicgonzo]

So I saw an episode of Forensic Files where somebody's neighbors left a case of coca cola on their doorstop.

It didn't appear to be tampered with (by visual inspection), though experts later confirmed it was but could only do so by using a high powered microscope.

Anyways, everyone who drank the coke got Thallium poisoning (which destroys a peron's nerves). The mother of the family slipped into a coma and then died.

But hey, if you want to drink the milk, that's cool.

 

[Krowley]

It contains secret chemicals that will open a doorway to another reality: the land of Faery, sometimes also known as Elfland. Such doorways are common all over the British Isles, and well documented in the arcane literature.

Those who cross into Faery don't always return. Those that do return often describe an enjoyable party atmosphere, but many others are driven mad by the experience.

You have been warned.

 

[daveo42]

It's probably fine? Maybe? I mean, at least let us know if you drink any and we can determine if there was something wrong by the amount of time between that post and your next...if there is one.

Side note: I found a full, unopened jug of mineral water sitting beside my car. Not sure why it was there, because there's no parking beside my car. I briefly thought that maybe someone in the neighborhood was going to try to freeze the water and then smash one of my car windows in to try to steal something. that thought was enough to bring it inside and then proceed to not drink it.

 

[chaosblade]

Your wife is cheating on you with the milk man. Break up with her and start going to the gym

But she is the wife!

Shamalamadingdongtwist.gif

 

[Stormhammer]

could be the culprits

 

[thecouncil]

So I saw an episode of Forensic Files where somebody's neighbors left a case of coca cola on their doorstop.

It didn't appear to be tampered with (by visual inspection), though experts later confirmed it was but could only do so by using a high powered microscope.

Anyways, everyone who drank the coke got Thallium poisoning (which destroys a peron's nerves). The mother of the family slipped into a coma and then died.

But hey, if you want to drink the milk, that's cool.

I think about $7 of free milk is worth the risk of death.

 

[H.Protagonist]

If it's not a delivery mistake somebody may be trying to assassinate a local hedgehog. Stay vigilant.

I...don't get this reference.

I left it. Don't drink it though. I didn't know it was your place. I'd feel bad knowing I gave a fellow gaffer a three day case of violent diarrhea.

So kind of you to own up to it.

Call the police.

They said they'd keep an eye out for suspicious-looking dairy samaritans.

and make a thread about it

"I Think My Husband and the Milkman are Sharing Protein Drinks"

Make some cows drink it and then point and laugh maniacally!

I like this idea. Front-runner at the moment.

So I saw an episode of Forensic Files where somebody's neighbors left a case of coca cola on their doorstop.

It didn't appear to be tampered with (by visual inspection), though experts later confirmed it was but could only do so by using a high powered microscope.

Anyways, everyone who drank the coke got Thallium poisoning (which destroys a peron's nerves). The mother of the family slipped into a coma and then died.

But hey, if you want to drink the milk, that's cool.

But:

I think about $7 of free milk is worth the risk of death.

It's probably fine? Maybe? I mean, at least let us know if you drink any and we can determine if there was something wrong by the amount of time between that post and your next...if there is one.

Side note: I found a full, unopened jug of mineral water sitting beside my car. Not sure why it was there, because there's no parking beside my car. I briefly thought that maybe someone in the neighborhood was going to try to freeze the water and then smash one of my car windows in to try to steal something. that thought was enough to bring it inside and then proceed to not drink it.

Will keep you posted should I do what people often do on GAF and disregard all good advice when asking for advice.

 

[Razgriz-Specter]

Wouldn't trust that milk at all.

 

[qcf x2]

Put a huge sign next to it saying "Take back the English milk. Or you'll be Swiss Cheese" and then a diagram next to it showing the basic process of making cheese from milk.

 

[itwasTuesday]

 

[Master Milk]

You're welcome.

 

[marrec]

Put a huge sign next to it saying "Take back the English milk. Or you'll be Swiss Cheese" and then a diagram next to it showing the basic process of making cheese from milk.

Ooo and then post the diagram here cause I wanna know the basic process of making cheese from milk too

 

[torre_avenue]

Mysterious Milk is a dope name for a band.

 

[javadoze]

Superhero origin story in the making right here.

 

[God Dayumm]

You have been blessed by the milk fairy.

Good luck and prosperity will come to you.

But only if you post "Thank you milk fairy" in this thread

 

[Mr-Joker]

I...don't get this reference.

It's a fact that Hedgehog can't drink milk, a common mistake that people make when they find one.

 

[Trouble]

Turn it into pee.

 

[marrec]

Mysterious Milk is a dope name for a band.

Mysterious Milk is the name of my Westworld Themed Math-Rock band.

 

[Extra Sauce]

You have been marked for death by the Amish mafia.

 

[Joe Shlabotnik]

Even the cows are polite in England.

Edit: Oh if you're in Australia that's probably the milk of the pogey-pogey tree, the most poisonous tree on Earth.

The cows are still polite, though.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Beware the cows! Not all milk is enriched!

 

[soundscream]

You're in Australia right......could be full of spider eggs.

 

[Timedog]

Drink the milk while masturbating for 96 straight hours into another milk carton. Pay it forward.

 

[mrklaw]

Wait, you're in the UK?

 

[V-Faction]

Loot it bro, and upgrade your Buzzsaw knuckles.

 

[Easy_D]

FTFY

Milk steak?

 

[Podge293]

Exclusive footage of the milkman visiting OP's house

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEipG31iAC4

You're my hero

 

[H.Protagonist]

Put a huge sign next to it saying "Take back the English milk. Or you'll be Swiss Cheese" and then a diagram next to it showing the basic process of making cheese from milk.

Close enough.

You're welcome.

Thanks.

It's a fact that Hedgehog can't drink milk, a common mistake that people make when they find one.

Ah, gotcha. I thought this was some kind of obscure Sonic lore.

 

[Graphics Horse]

It must be returned to the cow

 

[Chuck]

op's update tomorrow:

 

[Soriku]

Your wife is cheating on you with the milk man. Break up with her and start going to the gym

OP is female so that would be quite something.

 

[Graphics Horse]

Have you tried next door? Maybe it's for them
Edit: oh yeah I already read that you did sorry.

You're in Australia right......could be full of spider eggs.

That driveway doesn't look very Australian to my eyes and I've seen a lot of episodes of Neighbours.

 

[Wag]

Do you have cats?

 

[H.Protagonist]

Even the cows are polite in England.

Edit: Oh if you're in Australia that's probably the milk of the pogey-pogey tree, the most poisonous tree on Earth.

The cows are still polite, though.

Wait, you're in the UK?

You're in Australia right......could be full of spider eggs.

Australia before, England now.

It must be returned to the cow

Sounds challenging.

op's update tomorrow:

After the sign? Possibly.

Do you have cats?

We have two of them, and one stole the bacon off the dinner I made the other day, so I'm tempted to go where you're suggesting with this...

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

Milk steak?

Sure!

Close enough.

Why is the sign not parallel to frame?! Is this a digital manipulation!?

 

[Joyful]

could be radiation milk op

 

[Username1198]

Feed it to someone and see what happens

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

It's a curse, you have to pass the milk on before it expires or you will be killed by a cow that crawls out of the TV.

Either that or someone's moving and didn't want the milk to go to waste so they left it for you.

Either way, I wouldn't drink that shit lol.

What you should do:

Pick up the milk and say very loudly while looking in multiple directions "thank you very much for the milk I will enjoy it very much"

of course, you're going to pour that shit out and not drink it, but you don't want to be rude and they could be watching.

I'm crying...I'm literally crying.

 

[qcf x2]

Close enough.




Thanks.




Ah, gotcha. I thought this was some kind of obscure Sonic lore.

lol that's awesome. I would've added a smiley or "JK" in case somebody gets scared (but their fault for starting it anyway).

Ooo and then post the diagram here cause I wanna know the basic process of making cheese from milk too

"We can skip right to step 3, buddy!"

 

[Septimus Prime]

Maybe the milkman ran out of bottles.

Is it pasteurized? Better poison milk than the tasteless American stuff.