BananaBomb
Member
Cut off your friendships with these despicable people.
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Need to Vent...Friends...Marriage...Cheating
- Thread starter ShinAmano
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Count Dookkake
Member
The chance that your fiance will end up being a cheater just went up around 33.3%, FYI.
I recommend cracking a few jokes at the cheater's expense, just to reinforce the negative feelings that are supposed to accompany cheating. You don't want the acceptability of cheating to grow in your fiance's circle of friends. You don't have to make the jokes to the whore in question, unless you are feeling mean. Making them to your fiance should probably do the trick. Call her the village bicycle and stuff like that.
Good luck.
I recommend cracking a few jokes at the cheater's expense, just to reinforce the negative feelings that are supposed to accompany cheating. You don't want the acceptability of cheating to grow in your fiance's circle of friends. You don't have to make the jokes to the whore in question, unless you are feeling mean. Making them to your fiance should probably do the trick. Call her the village bicycle and stuff like that.
Good luck.
Kano on the Phone
Member
Integrity exists when people aren't looking too.squidhands said:
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NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
WTF at the people complaining about him talking about this on GAF? The guy wants to vent, no reason why he can't do it here. Talk about whiny bitches.
Also :lol at the guy saying he would thank his friend for fucking his gf.
Also :lol at the guy saying he would thank his friend for fucking his gf.
Gorechylde
Member
Unforgivable. People with so much history have a duty to their friends and each other to exercise restraint and self-control.
As for the party, who you are is determined largely by the quality of people you choose to have around you. Fuck if the victim should be ostricized from the group because the culprits broke his trust. Cheating is NEVER the right answer.
As for the party, who you are is determined largely by the quality of people you choose to have around you. Fuck if the victim should be ostricized from the group because the culprits broke his trust. Cheating is NEVER the right answer.
Joel Was Right
If you smell burning, it's probably the generators acting up. Report it anyway.
ShinAmano said:
Am I the only one who thought something happened with his fiancée and someone else after reading that first paragraph?
You don't know that. Not being a dick, just being real. As someone who's been the other guy in a relationship, and recently dumped someone I thought was cheating (or at least had the potential), I can tell you that there are far too many hours in the day when she's not under your thumb for some shit to happen. I hope for the best, but I seriously, seriously doubt it. It's not being jaded, it's just understanding human nature. If you've ever had a moment's weakness (even in thought), just know she's had 3 to 4 times as many as you. Women are generally much weaker emotionally than men, and more succeptible to influence. You could be king ding-a-ling with all the charm and affection in the world, and some guy pays your girl a few compliments and gets the drawers. Do yourself a favor, never check her call/text records. You will become "one of us" pretty quick. PEACE.daw840 said:
EDIT: Which brings me to another rule of mine, the way you started your relationship will be the way it ends. If you started dating someone who was cheating on her bf, then there's a 90% chance she'll do the same shit to you. The same rule applies to previous relationships. If she confesses having done something fucked up before, she'll probably do it again.
Kano on the Phone
Member
This is exactly right. People are human, they fuck up, they step out, to think anyone above it is understandable, and sometimes necessary, but naive all the same.Pimpwerx said:
Pristine_Condition
Member
Ganhyun said:
Me too.
You don't have to get involved, but having them over to your place as a couple kinda sends a signal that you are OK with it. You aren't OK with it, (and rightly so,) so you shouldn't be put in the position to have to pretend you are in your own home.
to kind of side with the dicks of the thread... you are kind of being a drama queen and making this about you now..... like I said earlier, don't get in the middle of it. It has nothing to do with you and people who think cheating friends somehow "affect" them are 100% wrong (unless of course they are the ones being cheated on).ShinAmano said:
Then again from the sound of it you aren't going to pay heed to any of this, so good luck with that. I would imagine it will ruin most or all of your long term friendships in this group, with the exception of your friend the husband who has a bit of a road of bitterness ahead of him (though rightfully so). Me personally, I wouldn't want the only person I end up hanging out with after all of this blows over to be the bitter scorned husband... bitterness typically begets bitterness and as much fun as it sounds sitting around reminiscing about how everyone is such huge assholes, it's not...
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
NinjaFridge said:
I don't care if he vents, but the OP doesn't need to try to be there for his friend when his friend hasn't told him anything. The OP got all this from a gossip session. The OP got one side of the story. If his friend says something to him or if the OP sees something, then okay. But to ask a guy about his marriage when he hasn't been directly told anything is frankly nosey and kind of intrusive.
What happens in a marriage is between those two people. If one of them strays, they deal with it. They either split up, fix whatever the problem is in the relationship, or have an 'open' thing going on. In none of that is the OP sticking his nose in their business.
Have your party, if the husband is fine with the situation then why is it your place to try to do something about it. ?
Dude Abides
Banned
Sounds like that Halloween party needs to turn into a key party.
VelvetMouth
Member
Ganhyun said:
+1
If your friend and his wife were trying to work things out, then I would say let them do it in private. Since the wife and her fuckbuddy plan on attending your party together they are just rubbing their affair in your friends face and disrespecting your friendship. If they had any sense of remorse they would be too embarrassed to pull something like that but these 2 people don't give a fuck about anybody else. Do yourself and your friend a favor and kick them to the curb.
Dark Octave
Banned
Mind your own business.
Give your opinion if asked and be a good friend, then back off and worry about your own relationship.
My two.
Give your opinion if asked and be a good friend, then back off and worry about your own relationship.
My two.
OP: I don't understand from your post if the couple is trying to work through it, or if she's trying to get with the man she had an affair with? If they're trying to make it work you should support them. Some people can deal with and work through their partner slurping on another penis/vagina. For me: blech, puke, good freakin' riddance; it'd never be the same, but it's not my choice here and I'd still go along with what my friends wanted for their own relationship.
It's one of those areas where it's kinda none of your business, but it kinda is because someone hurt one of your friends (even though it was other friends, doesn't excuse it), and I'd be mad too. For all who are indifferent when someone's hurting one of your lifelong friends then trying to rub his face in it, what the hell is wrong with you?
So on the other hand, if the people who had the affair are trying to be a couple now that's too awkward to be around; I wouldn't want them at the party either and odds are your other friend doesn't want to see them together. It doesn't mean you can't still be friends with all of them, but it's understandable for you to be upset at them for hurting him/putting him at risk. If they're just both at the party though, and not "together", and the husband is fine with it I don't see why you should worry about it.
And lol @ people telling others they're definitely being cheated on. What assholes, you don't know anything about how strong their relationships are. I've been with the same person seven years, even went to college while in the relationship, and have never cheated. Do I make mistakes? Hell yeah I'm only 24, but I'll never ruin my entire life and the best thing that's ever happened to me for something I already get on a regular basis. W T F humanity?
It's one of those areas where it's kinda none of your business, but it kinda is because someone hurt one of your friends (even though it was other friends, doesn't excuse it), and I'd be mad too. For all who are indifferent when someone's hurting one of your lifelong friends then trying to rub his face in it, what the hell is wrong with you?
So on the other hand, if the people who had the affair are trying to be a couple now that's too awkward to be around; I wouldn't want them at the party either and odds are your other friend doesn't want to see them together. It doesn't mean you can't still be friends with all of them, but it's understandable for you to be upset at them for hurting him/putting him at risk. If they're just both at the party though, and not "together", and the husband is fine with it I don't see why you should worry about it.
And lol @ people telling others they're definitely being cheated on. What assholes, you don't know anything about how strong their relationships are. I've been with the same person seven years, even went to college while in the relationship, and have never cheated. Do I make mistakes? Hell yeah I'm only 24, but I'll never ruin my entire life and the best thing that's ever happened to me for something I already get on a regular basis. W T F humanity?
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Letting those two disloyal friends attend without consequence is like a passive acceptance of what they did. They'll take this as a sign that their group of friends as a whole either
1) approves of what they did
2) doesn't care
They want to see who will take their side. It's in their best interest at the moment to keep their current group of friends, and they're taking some pretty ballsy first moves in that direction. Should they be socially rewarded for their actions?
You can choose to ignore the issue (none of my business, don't want to judge, let them work it out themselves, etc.) or not, but you can't deny that the dynamic of your group of friends has already changed.
If it were me, I'd probably disinvite the two cheaters. They were the ones who made the choice to fuck everything up. They should bear the consequences. It's not fair to your friend the husband who did nothing and now has to suffer for it by being to embarrassed/upset to come to your party.
Also, like Dookakke said, you'd better take a look at how your wife is reacting to this. If she doesn't see anything wrong with what's going on in this situation, then I wonder how she'd feel if the situation involved her. It doesn't damn her to being an inevitable cheater herself, of course not, but it's worrisome. A complex series of events and emotions lead to unfaithfulness. Passive approval of cheating is a potential seed. Again, though, I have no idea of what your relationship is with your wife, so this is all purely subjective.
1) approves of what they did
2) doesn't care
They want to see who will take their side. It's in their best interest at the moment to keep their current group of friends, and they're taking some pretty ballsy first moves in that direction. Should they be socially rewarded for their actions?
You can choose to ignore the issue (none of my business, don't want to judge, let them work it out themselves, etc.) or not, but you can't deny that the dynamic of your group of friends has already changed.
If it were me, I'd probably disinvite the two cheaters. They were the ones who made the choice to fuck everything up. They should bear the consequences. It's not fair to your friend the husband who did nothing and now has to suffer for it by being to embarrassed/upset to come to your party.
Also, like Dookakke said, you'd better take a look at how your wife is reacting to this. If she doesn't see anything wrong with what's going on in this situation, then I wonder how she'd feel if the situation involved her. It doesn't damn her to being an inevitable cheater herself, of course not, but it's worrisome. A complex series of events and emotions lead to unfaithfulness. Passive approval of cheating is a potential seed. Again, though, I have no idea of what your relationship is with your wife, so this is all purely subjective.
Pimpwerx said:
No we don't. I can say with all assuredness that I have never cheated, nor will I ever cheat, on my wife. (or girlfriend while we're at it) And I have no problems thinking that I'm a better husband/man/person than those who do. I don't need sex to pad my ego. And I'm not foolish enough to think that whatever disappointments I have in my life are the cause of someone else, even my spouse.
The whole "We're humans. We make mistakes." is just a crutch or apology. We're not slaves to our instincts. That's what separates us from other animals. I know I'm not that limited. And I'm sure if you were really honest with yourself, you'd realize that you weren't either.
Nightbreeze
Member
Fuck man... I feel like this is my thread... cept I was the husband role. Let me tell you the best thing you can do is be there for your friend.. I know I definalty needed my true friends during the first few days.
If you're buddy feels like I did, he's feeling very alone in the world right about now.
If you're buddy feels like I did, he's feeling very alone in the world right about now.
Punchy4486
Banned
Solaros said:
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Solaros said:
Maybe if they're demented. How else could you go out and fuck someone else then come home to your significant other like nothing ever happened? Normal people talk about what's bothering them, maybe get counseling, then if that fails leave the relationship or get a divorce.
If someone has an affair/cheats and is in the process of leaving the other person it's not so bad, but those who do it and still carry on with their first relationship are pretty damn sick.
DanteFox
Member
The fact that people make mistakes is not an apology in itself, it's just a fact of life, whether you like it or not. If you think you have the willpower to resist all temptation, good for you, but fact is we all get tempted by things, some of us by less sinister things than others.v0yce said:
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Obsolete Observation said:
Obsolete Observation
Punchy4486 said:
Modern women? The ones raised on reality shows like My Sweet Sixteen and Bridezillas? Their version is:
"...to have and to hold from this day forward, for good or for better, for rich, for richer, in mild discomfort and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until I get bored and take half."
DanteFox said:
And we as evolved beings are able to over come our temptations. That's the whole point. If we're not holding ourselves to higher standards and being slaves to our temptations, then why don't we simply club any women we see that strikes our fancy and drag them home by their hair to do with as we please?
Beer Monkey
Member
I was married for over 13 years and never strayed once. All this talk about people having to cheat is nonsense. Was I ever tempted? Sure. But I never acted on it.
That said, I do think a lot of people get married who should not, or get married to somebody they should not get married to. This combined with insecurity will definitely result in increased cheating.
That said, I do think a lot of people get married who should not, or get married to somebody they should not get married to. This combined with insecurity will definitely result in increased cheating.
Gui_PT said:
Fuck that, some shit is just wrong. No I wont defend any friend that cheats on his wife, but to be fair all of my close friends are close enough to know how strongly I feel about things like that.
So no, I wont help your cheating ass, defend your cheating ass or support your cheating ass.
agrajag said:
MAURY!
jokes aside, OP you should be glad you aren't in your friend (the vicitm's position). any anger you feel right now is nothing compared to him. comfort him and be there for him. as for the cheater, and the wife... id be stand-offish for now, and then try and figure out wtf they were thinking by talking to them and stuff. cuz right now, they are both GIANT DOUCHES.
Byakuya769
Member
Kinitari said:
Hah.. yep. I'd like to hear about the "two kinds of black people" while he's at it. Sorry guys, just cause you've been cheated on/cheat doesn't mean everyone else in the world is dealing with the same issues.
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