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[AngmarsKing701]

What am I reading?

Facts.

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

What am I reading?

Lies.

Lies and envy.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

What am I reading?

Cold truths.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Let me preface this with that I'm a straight dude, who broke up with his ex more than a year ago and hasn't had any sort of action since then.

I'm a student, and some of my friends any I went to the local gay bar tonight. It's the only place with karaoke and it's pretty fun. Now unlike all the other nights over the past year, I had this girl dancing really, really close. And we talked. And we kissed. And this is where GAF will get mad.

I said she should probably find someone else.

For whatever reason I'm not comfortable with a one night thing apparently, probably because I'm just not comfortable getting down and dirty with somebody I barely know. I was looking at her, and she was preety sexy. But at the same time, I didn't want to do anything with that, and what prevailed was an overarching sense of worry. Is this something I could get over? IDK, but I know a lot of GAF will be laughing at the fact I missed the chance to 'lay down that pipe' or whatever. Being a dude these days there's almost a pressure of having as much sex as you can, and honestly, I'm apparently not the right guy for that. My friends were reassuring me, but at the same time, I'm still pissed at myself. Like, it's something I don't want, but at the same time, I need need to be okay with that. The ego boost was still worthwhile however.

I guess I need a tinder account or something if it's turning out that I turn down sudden casual sex. Haven't been meeting too many people the old fashioned way decently. Maybe I won't have a double digit figure of partners by the time I'm married. I'll probably regret that too. But I wish it was more accepted for a guy to say 'no' so I wasn't thinking about this so hard.

Spoiler

It's okay to say no, man.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So I have been going out with my boyfriend since last year. We met last year in June through MeetMe, had some dates, then became boyfriend and girlfriend during the fall. He's my first boyfriend, but we hit it off so well that I was very smitten and was so excited when he asked me to be his girlfriend. One day when he was over at my family's house, after we were official, a notification from MeetMe popped up on his phone. He likes to lay on the inside of my bed and puts his phone on my nightstand so I saw the notification when I passed him the phone after hearing the beep. He said not to worry about it and that it was from a friend when I asked.

Fast forward to February when the two of us are in our college's library. I had a break between classes so I came up to see him there while he was working on a paper. At one point he got up to go to the bathroom and left his laptop open. Now I know everyone hates nosy people, but Gaf I just had to look. And did I ever find something. Over the past few months, he had been messaging other girls on MeetMe. In fact, he had messaged one girl not two hours before and mentioned in the message he was single. Using what time I had left, I took pictures of the messages. I was extremely upset, but when he sat back down I didn't show it.

During the next few weeks, when he came over to my house or I went to his, if he left his phone behind, I merely swiped the screen (didn't have a password) and found more evidence. I learned that he was also had explicit conversations on Kik and used to visit a disabled army vet female dominatrix (who has kids) that he was still in contact with. After awhile of not bringing it up to him, I could no longer contain it. Several nights I just cried about it. Before our spring break in March, I confronted him about all the messages. He said he was sorry and that he wouldn't do it again. I forgave him and we still enjoyed our spring break together, in which we said that we loved each other.

Remember when he said he wouldn't do it again? Well that was a lie. Every month since April, I have found more evidence. Now it includes sending and receiving pictures on Facebook Messenger, FetLife, run of the mill adult cyber sites, along with the previous places. At one point against my better judgement I said I was okay with him meeting up with someone from FetLife who he said was a friend that was moving away. While he didn't meet anybody, it turns out that the "friend" was really the dominatrix, who I told him that I don't want him ever seeing again. Each month when I found new evidence, I confronted him, asked him to please tell me what was wrong in our relationship. And every time he would say that I'm perfect and that he's a stupid impulsive idiot. And every time I would forgive him with my face filled with tears after crying.

Now y'all are probably wondering why I am still with him. Truly, I do love him soooo much. He makes me feel special when we spend time together. He tells me he wants to marry me. I would love to but if he cannot be faithful to me me, I can't just keep having my feelings hurt. I have low self esteem and this certainly doesn't help. He says he did all that because he did it over the past few years while he was single. I told him to bring it up during a visit to his psychiatrist but he hasn't.

This is my first actual relationship and I have tried so hard for him. I've bought him butt plugs, sex tape, and light bondage stuff to use on him. When he wants to be pegged, I peg him. He gets turned on when he wears women's lingerie, so I let him wear it, even if it doesn't fit him. He has never made me orgasm, but guess who does every time we have sex? When I asked why he doesn't like to perform oral on me, he responded that that's all he did with his previous girlfriend so I just gave up on it. When he tries to finger me, it just feels like he's just moving his fingers around randomly. Time after I time I've told him this but it never gets better.

Everyone we know thinks he's the best guy ever and that we should get married soon. All of my coworkers at one of my jobs just adores him. I feel as though I've put myself in this box where I can't complain about him to the people we know so I don't mess up his image. If I break up with him, everyone would want to know why. I put myself in this box Gaf and I don't know what to do.

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

My last girlfriend and I have broken up for awhile now. But it turns out that she kept telling me she loved me, but she didn't love me, she loved my cock. I have mixed emotions about this because I started to love her, and then when I told her and she freaked out. She told me she only loved me fucking her. I feel kind of used in a way, and my emotions have been pretty hurt about the entire thing as I thought she was saying those things because she actually cared about me and not just because of sex. I don't feel it's right to tell someone that when you don't actually mean it.

You were totally used. That's just weird and shitty. Go find someone better.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Not-so-anonymous anonymous confession. Whether NTGYK wants to reveal who this is, is up to him. Anyway though.

For the anonymous part: I sent stuff into the Anonymous Confessions thread in 2 previous threads. In both of them I wrote in a different style, so as to not be obvious. I don't believe anyone ever connected the two of them, or connected them to me.

For the not-so-anonymous part: My wife and I are finally getting divorced. This was the advice that GAF gave to each of the previous confessions. And even unrelated to that, just in general it had pretty much been GAF's advice to me. It's a number of years later than it should have been done, but at least it's finally happening (ronpaulit'shappening.gif)

So, yeah, anyway. Not a very exciting confession. But, just figured I'd share.

FINALLY.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

The thread could use some lightening up! I decided to send some little things in to maybe cheer people up. (Or at least distract them.)

1. This website is basically my second home on the Internet. It has highs, lows, and always manages to add something to my day. Love you guys.

2. You guys know Reaper from Overwatch? Cloak and mask and infinite shotguns?
I think he's just gorgeous. I have a thing for guys in masks, but he's got it all. The look, the voice, the personality (as for the "edgy" stuff, I'm kind of into it. It amuses me, anyway). All A+. Too bad he's a fictional character.

3. I addressed this from squidward@pokemail.net. Make of that what you will.

4. Where are all the other women on GAF? It can be such a sausage fest!
Speaking of which - I was originally not going to say anything - but Cumfessor's entries are so boring. Might be because I'm a straight woman, but they're the lamest part of this event.

5. I wish happiness to all the sad and lonely people on GAF. Take NTGYK's therapy advice and know that you can make it!

6. NTGYK, you da man. Keep up the good work.


Kisses,
Anon GAFfer #45738573895748963

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Okay, I'll wrap up Night 24 here

 

[Professor Beef]

First off, GirlGAF has their own community thread, which you should join!
And secondly, I agree about cumfessor, but people like them, so whatever.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

 

[Menome]

Spoiler

It's okay to say no, man.

Never give a damn about what other people think about your sex-life. If you don't want to sleep with someone, don't. If casual encounters aren't your thing, that's fine.

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

It sounds like you're smitten with him because he's your 'first true love' and also you may be scared of what would be your first break-up. I'm sorry to say that going through that is going to be the best thing for you in this situation.

Other people may be nosey and ask about why you left him, but they've got no right to that knowledge, just tell them that things weren't working out and leave it at that.

I would wager that of the people in relationships reading this thread, 99% of them aren't with their first partner. It's okay to move on and find someone better for you. Don't leave yourself unhappy for the rest of your life for the sake of somebody else.

 

[acohrs]

From the revenge guy:



Man, he even lawyered up as part of his revenge plot.

Yeah, I call bollocks

 

[NeOak]

Man, that kitten part made me cringe.

Please seek help confessor.

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

1. Please give yourself more credit
2. Ditch that asshole. He's gone too far
3. He's done oral to the others, especially the dominatrix. And he has made them cum
4. He's sounds like a fucking narcissist
5. Seriously, dump his ass. He doesn't value you. You're his safety net.

 

[acohrs]

NTGYK, you do know that sending confessions to yourself is the first sign of a lonely person?

Spoiler

;P

 

[BLOODED_hands]

Confession:

I just got up (nearly 12 hours of sleep) from a really bad hangover and missed the yearly Family Thanksgiving dinner Feelsdrunkman

But damn...... These latest confession's are something else. Your dad killed a kitten! That's fucked up!! Revenge guy..... Went and got a lawyer -_-" Fuck you dude. You are the scum of the Earth. Girl confessor needs to go and sub to the girlgaf ot. Other girl confessor..... He is using you. Break up asap. Dude who doesn't like one night stands, no worries. There's no shame in it. The rest of the confessions.....

 

[RionaaM]

What am I reading?

The worst that humanity has to offer. We had sister fuckers, deranged avengers, fake racist teachers, scumbag dads, doozy and similar stuff, but this, this is the worst.

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

He's manipulating you. Seriously, you need to break up before you make the mistake of marrying him. He won't stop cheating on you, and he has hurt you enough. Don't waste any more of your time on this asshole, he doesn't deserve to be with you.

You were totally used. That's just weird and shitty. Go find someone better.

This sucks, she treated you like a sexual object. Hope you find someone better next time.

 

[mhayes86]

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Being your first relationship and with your low self-esteem, are you clinging to him this much because you are afraid that you will not be able to find someone else? I was in that position once, though under different circumstances, and it just makes the relationship toxic. People thought we were a perfect couple that would get married. By the way, people are expecting you both to get married soon after dating for a year? Get out of here with that nonsense.

The possibility of him continuing to cheat will always be in the back of your mind, and you will continue to be depressed. You need to leave, cut contact, move on with your life, and improve your self-esteem. You will find someone better who makes you happy and respects you. Who cares if people will ask what happened with you both? Tell them the truth and try to move on.

 

[Xamtheking]

We need more plastic nanomachines

 

[Night Hunter]

You were totally used. That's just weird and shitty. Go find someone better.

Man, now I'm really wondering how often this happens to members of the goldicock club. A guy getting laid (which I guess is often the excuse from the other party) does not make this shit okay. Stringing people along is pretty cruel if you ask me.

So chin up confessor. Forget her, move on.

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Leave him ASAP. He will never (ever ever ever) stop cheating on you.

 

[Panthalassic]

I'm a girl! But I don't post a lot, haha. I'm gay-ish (bi, but love girls way more), but I agree with you about Cumfessor and Reaper. His thighs <3

Man, the one about the abusive/cheating boyfriend hit too close to home. My best friend is in a similar situation, but she can't leave him either

 

[AngmarsKing701]

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Not that I want to pile on here, but I agree with everyone else: break up with him. He's lying to you and cheating on you. He's not going to stop. Not after you forgive him each time. He thinks a little "I'm sorry I'm such an idiot" is going to get him out of trouble.

You will find someone who loves you, and that someone will make you feel wonderful (out of your bed and in it).

Don't tie yourself to someone who is going to make you feel like shit and/or throttling him for the rest of your life.

 

[gaiages]

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Confesssor, what you described is more or less a classic abusive relationship loop. Please break up with him, you deserve better than a cheating lecher that can't even be bothered to give you an orgasm.

If people want to know why you two broke up, just say it didn't work out. If they want to be nosy about it, tell them it's a personal matter, and it's not their business... because it isn't.

 

[SephLuis]

1. Please give yourself more credit
2. Ditch that asshole. He's gone too far
3. He's done oral to the others, especially the dominatrix. And he has made them cum
4. He's sounds like a fucking narcissist
5. Seriously, dump his ass. He doesn't value you. You're his safety net.

Let me quote this because this is exactly what the confessor needs to do.

You can and probably will find someone much better.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Gonna pile on the agreement here. Dump his ass. He won't even sexually satisfy you (even though he likely could, if he made an effort), and he cheats on you to sexually satisfy himself but clings to you for the "stability" or whatever the fuck. He's using you and emotionally abusing you. Get the hell out. It's probably hard 'cause it's your first relationship, but it's for the best. Don't believe his sad puppy "I'm so sorry I love you I won't do it again" eyes. It's all a lie.

 

[Hyperactivity]

No confessions today?

 

[openrob]

Well...
.

I heard it in a way that makes sense to me, which is:
No one wakes up and deicdes to cheat out of nowhere, but it's the stuff that leads up to it; the lunches, the messaging, etc that sets the scene already.

What you have to do is decide not to cheat. Long story short, if you dont make a choice to NOT cheat, that is what will end up happening.

Make your decision now before you regret it later.

 

[Maximus.]

No confessions today?

It's Black Friday, he's probably out and about.

 

[Teriyaki Blues]

It's Black Friday, he's probably out and about getting drunk.

Fixed that for you. Winky face.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Fixed that for you. Winky face.

You know me too well, Teriyaki.

 

[Wandering Robot]

Oh, boy.

Spoiler

It's okay to say no, man.

Honestly I wouldn't do it, either. You're perfectly fine, Confessor.

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Like everyone else has said, he's abusing your love and trust at the very least. Please, for your own sake, leave his ass.

You were totally used. That's just weird and shitty. Go find someone better.

You really were. Forget her.

Well, isn't this a nice, bubbly little confession?
...
...
Confessor, are you flirting with NTGYK?

 

[NeOak]

You know me too well, Teriyaki.

Any good deals on alcohol?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Any good deals on alcohol?

Pft, nah. Overpriced, vodka is.

But cute waitresses can get me to buy so many drinks.

I controlled myself tonight, ha.

 

[blue_phazon]

Man OP's confession makes me not wanna read this thread anymoee

 

[NeOak]

In honor of a recent thread made by NTGYK, I have two confessions:

#1 I finally watched Spectre today

#2 I liked it

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Man OP's confession makes me not wanna read this thread anymoee

We are all monsters.

In honor of a recent thread made by NTGYK, I have two confessions:

#1 I finally watched Spectre today

#2 I liked it

I was wrong; you are the only monster.

 

[redcrayon]

Spoiler

It's okay to say no, man.

Confessor: there's no obligation to have double-digit sexual partners before you get married (and no obligation on that either). Have as many or as few as you feel happy with. Sounds like that's what you did, so more power to your elbow, take it easy.

For what it's worth I only had one before meeting my wife and I can't say it keeps me up at night.

 

[GAMEPROFF]

Confessor: there's no obligation to have double-digit sexual partners before you get married (and no obligation to do that either). Have as many as you feel happy with. Sounds like that's what you did, so more power to your elbow, take it easy.

His spoilertext seems to agree with you

 

[Retsudo]

Spoiler

It's okay to say no, man.

You do you man. If one night stands are not in your interest, then proceed as normal. Quantity != quality.
You might regret it at a later point in life, but as long as you are deciding it will be okay.

1. Please give yourself more credit
2. Ditch that asshole. He's gone too far
3. He's done oral to the others, especially the dominatrix. And he has made them cum
4. He's sounds like a fucking narcissist
5. Seriously, dump his ass. He doesn't value you. You're his safety net.

This x10000000000. I get that being your first relationship doubts of feeling scared for the future are always there. THAT IS NORMAL!!! So drop that sorry sack of shit and move on.

 

[Hyperactivity]

Due to the fact that I don't follow Bond films, they always seem to exist in some weird space between A and B tier movies, where more often then not they should belong in the 2nd category but they have the name recognition to prevent that and occasionally they release an A tier movie

 

[Peltz]

Break up with him. He's abusing your trust and love. This is a shitty relationship and you deserve better.

Why the fuck would you stay with a guy like that? After a while, you're only hurting yourself.

Shame on him, but shame on you too if you stay.

Dumping him will suck. But it's good for you. Like eating your vegetables. Shit tastes bad but makes you stronger so get it done.

Staying with him is frankly unacceptable and pathetic. (It needed to be said).

 

[Pharaun]

In honor of a recent thread made by NTGYK, I have two confessions:

#1 I finally watched Spectre today

#2 I liked it

I was wrong; you are the only monster.

I guess I'm a monster too, I also liked Spectre. I know it has more than its fair share of flaws, but I felt it did a good job continuing the character arc of Bond learning he isn't just a tool used to kill for his Government.

 

[Apple Turnover]

I guess I'm a monster too, I also liked Spectre. I know it has more than its fair share of flaws, but I felt it did a good job continuing the character arc of Bond learning he isn't just a tool used to kill for his Government.

There was a good movie buried somewhere inside Spectre, but the under-utilized cast wasn't enough to bring it out. That's about the highest praise I can give it.

But since this is a confession thread, uh... when I was a child, I used to get our cat to chase me into the living room, I'd jump onto a chair, and then I'd grab and toss the cat a few feet across the room.

Usually nothing happened, but the cat landed badly once and walked with a limp for a bit after that. Felt so horrible about it that I never did it again.

 

[redcrayon]

His spoilertext seems to agree with you

I was replying to the confessor.

 

[NeOak]

I guess I'm a monster too, I also liked Spectre. I know it has more than its fair share of flaws, but I felt it did a good job continuing the character arc of Bond learning he isn't just a tool used to kill for his Government.

It's because of this http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1319795

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So I wound up drinking with a lot of friends and hitting on married girls instead of posting confessions.

No regrets.

Well, financial regrets.

 

[eot]

If that is an unedited version then I am inclined to agree with you. He makes two obvious 'mistakes' in his first sentences and proceeds in perfect English.

It could be edited by NTGYK though.

There are a lot of ESL speakers here who are good enough at English that you'd assume they are native speakers when you only have their writing to go on. Americans on here seem to assume that other posters are also American unless otherwise stated which means that most people's English is not bad enough to stand out. I've even seen people who are slightly less proficient get a bunch of shit because people assume they're native speakers who can't write proper English to save their lives.

 

[Pharaun]

So I wound up drinking with a lot of friends and hitting on married girls instead of posting confessions.

No regrets.

Well, financial regrets.

So next year when we get a confession about ruining a marriage because they were drunk and hitting on married chicks we know it's from NTGYK.

 

[acohrs]

So next year when we get a confession about ruining a marriage because they were drunk and hitting on married chicks we know it's from NTGYK.

Sometimes I like to think that the majority of these confessions are NTGYK. That he's a real bad mofo and created this thread just to be able to post them online but 'anonymously'.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

Hi GAF. My confession is that I'm a terrible person.

So, first of all I've been with my wife for about 10 years (married for 2) and although I feel like I'm in love with her I have a strong attraction to other women. There's one in particular who I met last year through a mutual friend and we totally hit it off. We've met up a few times to hang out with friends and she always wants to hang out with me at the bar because we get on so well. I even had a friend (who was trying to get with her) tell me that we looked more like a couple than me and my wife. I've not been able to stop thinking about her to the point of obsession. I even know how crazy it sounds and just wish I could be happy in my current situation but I just feel that I have a strong connection to this other girl and that if I was to break it off with my wife and try something I could make it work. Pipe dreams, eh?

I don't want this to sound like I'm justifying it in an way but my wife's the only girl I've ever been with. I often wonder if that's the reason I feel the way I do about it, that maybe I got married too early or just wasn't adventurous enough in my younger days. It's not my wife's fault. She's a great girl and I honestly think she can do better than me. Part of me thinks that we're just together and going through the motions because life's easy that way and there's a safety net.

So, next up is the fact that I have problems with empathy and emotion in that I almost have 2 sides to my personality. The "public" face I put on is that of a happy, friendly guy who you can talk to about all of your problems but in reality I feel cold, detached and completely unemotional about people's problems. For instance, a friend of mine recently confessed to cheating on her partner to which I feel bad for the guy but couldn't bring myself to give a rat's ass for their problems. That being said I have a huge folder on my PC full of text, screenshots and basically a bunch of stuff that'd end her relationship. Part of me feels like I have this power over her, that I can trash her home life with a simple e-mail. It's pretty shitty, and I know it's pretty shitty to feel this way but when I look back at the relationships I have with people I always see how easy it can be to manipulate them into doing things that I want to do.

I guess I'm just a selfish, chicken-shit asshole who's never going to be happy with only myself to blame.

.

Wanted to chime in on this one. I think you need to explain this to your wife, and frame it as you put it out here; That you think you desire being with other people because you've only been with one person. That feeling is natural, understandable and relateable for millions. Your wife deserves to know this is how you feel. The worst thing you can do to someone is stringing them along pretending you like them more than you really do.

With regards to the empathy thing, it is saddens me. You say "I always see how easy it is to manipulate them into doing things I want to do". I take head at this comment and it sends chills down my spine.
You can ruin anyones life around you if you really wanted to. You could make up a lie, you could physically hurt them- Why is your power trip related to the idea that you have evidence that will tank someones relationship, something you get off on? Why there?
Do you want to control people and decide over what they do or do you like the idea of it? You mention that you outwardly and publically are carring and attentive, but inside you feel nothing and detached- I think many people are actually like this. People camouflage themselves because they pick on ques on what gives brownie points, and then you pretend to care. This is becoming really fashionable online as we see with Slacktivism. People give a rats ass about causes and issues as long as it does not extend beyond being holy and idealistic in a facebook post or sharing a Save the whale poster on Twitter.
I don't think you're a horrible person if you've not done anyone anything. Remember that there is a world of difference between a thought and an act. You have supposedly more than 200,000 random thoughts about food every day. Over 100,000 thoughts about sex. And many other things. Your mind interjects and dissect random information and so sick thoughts coming through your mind is not your fault. You're not a bad person for having bad thoughts. You made this confession and you're self examining yourself realizing that you lack something that other people have, and you don't sound pleased with it.
You know, about 1% of the population show tendencies of actual sadism. So it's a lot. But sadistic tendencies can be as mild as enjoying seeing someone fall down the stares on Americas Funniest Home Videos. Many people have dark spots, but they are also more than that. Other people just lack perspective. It's possible someone will hurt you or pretend to give a shit about you in a way that will shock you. You might never have felt how hard it can hit. I think a lot of people are able to see it from the point of view of other people when they've truly been through hell.

It's really good you met someone who you're hitting it off with. It's going to suck spilling the beans to your wife, but it's time for both of you to get on with your lives and stop the charade of a false-fake-happy marriage. Some couples allow themselves to date other people, others engage in open relationships, other decides to take an actual break as an experiment. Regardless of how it goes down it is not wrong to tell your wife. Her world will be crushed, but that is nothing compared to if you string her along. You have to find that little bit of selflessness in you, even if it's hard and be a punching bag for her and letting her feel terrible about you when you drop the bomb. But trust me when I say that as a third party outsider; these feelings of desiring other people is not going to subside.