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[El Sloth]

I think it's a bummer that this article had to be written, but there's a undeniable need for something like it – https://compete.kotaku.com/nine-tips-for-women-and-anyone-else-attending-their-f-1797897871

Just a snippet since it's quite long:

7. Brace yourself for annoying conversations about your gender

I’ve noticed an oft-repeated misunderstanding in male-dominated gaming spaces that if a woman or girl is there, she “wants attention.” I can only speak to my own experience, but when I go to a fight night or a tournament, I want to blend in. I like watching other people play, participating in idle conversation, cheering along with the crowd, and playing a match or several matches without fanfare.

Unfortunately, since fight nights and tournaments tend to have an extreme minority of women and girls participating, the few who do partake stand out, thanks to the ingrained societal expectation that they wouldn’t be into this sort of thing. This results in annoying conversations. Not always rude conversations—just, boring ones. “You play this? You’re on the list to compete here? Wow, you?” This felt flattering and special when I was 14 and wanted to believe I was “cooler” than other girls. Now, I’m in my 30s and I can’t wait to stop enduring how “surprised” everyone is that I play video games.

I can’t tell if this is a problem that is getting better in fighting games scenes. It feels like trying to determine if you are in the middle of a swamp, or at the edge of a swamp. I have no way of knowing how big the swamp is, but I’ve been walking in one direction for a long time, and I’m still stuck in it.

8. You might get harassed, and it’s possible that there won’t be any rules against it.

It’s rad as hell that fight nights and tournaments can pop up in crappy basements simply from a few people hooking up a console and a monitor and making it happen. The “punk rock” underground vibe of the fighting game community is what makes it special, but it also can make it difficult to root out bad actors.

Several years back, a couple of guys in my local scene made me uncomfortable enough that I stopped going to events for a while. I couldn’t avoid them. They were at every event. Because local fighting game events often lack any form of institutional backing or “rules,” there was no structural method through which I could have reported them for, say, sexual harassment. What’s more, one of the guys in question was a staffer at one of the events I attended. To whom would I have reported him? Himself? I didn’t bother.

No matter who you are, it’s nerve-wracking to go to an in-person gaming event and challenge strangers to fight you. It’s even more challenging if you’re entering into a situation where you’re a visible minority, and where that might be a problem for some of the people there.

It’s almost impossible to predict what will happen in these situations until you go, and that uncertainty sucks! You might have a great experience and meet a ton of awesome people. That’s happened to me. You also might meet some huge assholes. That has also happened to me. Sometimes all at the same event.

The in-person dynamic of fighting game events, when they go well, is the best part of the scene. It’s not something that I want any girl or woman to miss out on simply because she is afraid that some asshole, somewhere, will try to ruin it for her.

I have a tip about this for people who organize these events: create an environment where it’s possible for attendees to report the people who have been treating them like shit.

Back to a tip for attendees: don’t be afraid to pack up your stick and walk out of a place. Heck, if you arrive somewhere and you go in and you don’t like the vibe, walk right back out again. I’ve done that. It’s embarrassing and it’s a waste of gasoline and it’s not something many dudes in your scene will ever understand, because many of them will feel comfortable anywhere they go.

You deserve to feel safe, and you won’t play well or have fun or learn a damn thing about fighting games if you don’t feel safe. Even the “mild” stuff—like the guys who stand too close, or stare at you for too long—those are acceptable reasons to walk out. You don’t need to wait until it gets really bad. If it’s even a little bit bad, go ahead and leave. Put your comfort first. There are better events out there, and you’ll have a really tough time learning the ropes and winning rounds if you don’t feel comfortable.

9. Don’t be surprised if people expect you to be amazing at fighting games.

There’s a stereotype that women are bad at games. But what’s weird is that in competitive gaming scenes, since there are so few women, people actually expect the few women who do show up to be incredibly good. One way this has manifested for me is, if I’m the only female player at a given event, complete strangers will crowd around to watch as soon as it’s my turn and express far more interest than in any prior match. This can be nerve-wracking, especially if you aren’t used to playing in front of people yet.

The few women and girls who show up to these types of events do tend to be really good, because they’ve had to overcome a lot of obstacles in order to get to a point where they want to compete in a tournament. For guys, it’s more socially normalized to compete even if you aren’t that good, but since women already have to deal with the stereotype that they’re just “someone’s girlfriend,” there’s more external pressure to perform well so as to exceed expectations. Plus, there’s the fantasy of a girl getting trash-talked by guys for being a girl and then overcoming all those obstacles and beating all of the guys. It’s a narratively satisfying fantasy, but it’s also a reductive one, because it means that a lot of girls and women feel like they shouldn’t play games in public at all unless they’re really good... or else they’ll be “making girl gamers look bad.”

From what I’ve seen, women who are just mediocre at fighting games just don’t end up going to these events. Except for me! I like to rep for all the decent but stubborn women out there by competing in tournaments and doing just fine, but not amazing. Just existing in the scene is a victory for me.

There are tons of dudes who enter tournaments and aren’t that good. They enter because they’re attending with friends and they just think it would be fun to try their hand. Women and girls should feel free to do the exact same thing— and who knows, you might end up facing off against one of those not-that-good guys who’s entering and then you can get a win or two under your belt.

We don’t need to keep framing female gamers as savants or exceptions. If more women competed in fighting games who were just okay, that would create a better environment for everyone.

The other people who are entering tournaments are probably not as good or as intimidating as you imagine they are. They’re just people who like fighting games. Like you!

These tips reflect my experience, but every local fighting games scene has its own quirks and etiquette. Tell me about your own first tournaments, or share the advice that motivated you or a female friend of yours to finally sign on for some in-person fighting game matches.