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[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Yeah, but on the other hand, as long as no mods read the thread, he's fine.

He's dead.

 

[flippedb]

Yeah, but on the other hand, as long as no mods read the thread, he's fine.

Yeah, as long as they don...oops.

 

[FallingEdge]

ronito please blur out my face before forwarding those pics to saikun

i enhanced your facial features so they will stand out more than your dick

hue hue hue

 

[ronito]

I have been working under the table at a Chinese restaurant for over 2 years now. For the first year everything was fine I went to work, did my job, and got paid on time. However, things started to change after the boss went back to his home country to see his doctor. Someone close to the boss took over things at the restaurant. That person could not keep up with all the prep work (cutting vegetables, trimming fat from various meats, etc.) that was involved and as a result had to close more days than normal. Unfortunately, this affected the restaurant's revenue. When the boss came back from his home country, he had to let that person go. He claims that over the three months that he was gone, he lost a lot of money due to the poor management of that person. The boss said it will take a little bit of time to pay me for all the hours I put into at work. So now instead of getting paid for all the hours I put into work I only get paid about half of what I actually work for every two weeks. That amount of money that the boss cant pay me slowly adds up over time. At first, I felt bad for the boss and decided to stick with it. But I've been doing this for awhile now, and its still the same. I've been contemplating on telling the boss that I want to quit since I don't think he'll be able to pay me back. However, I really have no idea what to do if I did quit. It's really difficult for me find a job elsewhere. I'm not expecting anything from this, just needed to get this off my chest

This is why I don't understand why people work under the table unless they're undocumented. Really it never ends well for the employee. Ever.

 

[User 100115]

They are all HORRIBLE. Seriously, Fiction, I trust your judgement- what is the superior term? I'd love a decent one but English sort of just sucks at run-of-the-mill everyday standard vocabulary for all terminology relating to sexuality, not just this one.

When using it in the noun sense you may hate "cum" 'cause it looks like it was written in an AOL chat room but I hate "come" 'cause of its lexical ambiguity.

slangs is real words too :{

Honestly, I feel that if it's ambiguous in that context then you have a whole lot more issues than 'cum' vs 'come', if you understand what I'm saying. The entire scene should reflect what you are talking about. 'Cum' to me is lazy writing. And it might be just because I am older and have read loads of incredibly porny things. People even use it in the context of describing an orgasm, and it makes me want to tear my hair out.

 

[Llyranor]

I'm trying my best not to sound like a livejournal/tumblr kid, but once I learned that people around me never had the intention of being my friends but rather as an object they use when they need it, I stopped caring about being a loner.

Sure, it was a bit depressing that I couldn't talk to people at all. Finished college without making any friends. I don't speak to nobody and when I do, it's mostly faking I'm their friend because they're useful in some form.

Let's just say that they're good for something in the same manner that I'm useful to them somehow, a chain of favours or something.

But social interaction, going to parties and enjoying myself around people? Fucking waste of time, I'd rather stay in my room and do it only if it's absolutely neccesary or will be useful in the future.

I dunno, could be a chicken or egg situation here. Just a thought.

 

[Rutgurk]

Every confession run I always get a few of these. I don't understand lurkers.
Why lurk when you can participate?

Things move so fast on Gaf Usually by the time I get to the end of a thread, it turns out I'm about halfway and there's 10 more pages (and most of the time someone else has already said what I wanted to say anyway).

love this thread by the way

 

[FUBAR McDangles]

So disappointed my confession did not get very many replies. I have told maybe four people in my entire life about it and all of them were absolutely appalled/shocked. Here? Nada

Well I have stories for maybe one or two more confessions. One was pretty much covered by someone else in this thread already but it's all I got. This thread is fun.

 

[User 100115]

Btw, Lissar, I would totally hang out with you too.

Sometimes I think it's a good thing I live so far away from awesome gaffers. Because if say, Cooper, were close to me, I think we'd never get anything done from all the squeeing we'd constantly do.

 

[AlexBasch]

@Kiefer, it sounds like you have had a bad string of luck with the people you have interacted with. It can get to the point where it seems that's all anybody is like, but that's simply not true. Good people who want genuine friendships are out there. Just look at the people posting in this thread.

Spoiler

Not me though I'm horrible

I dunno, could be a chicken or egg situation here. Just a thought.

It's just that I have a really shitty luck when it comes to meet people and finding out they're just assholes that I just gave up on it. Not recommending anyone that this is the right path, since some Gaffers are pointing out some alternatives for them, that's cool and hopefully it will work out for them.

I just find social interaction to be so tiring and useless that I just gave up trying to make friends, and I kinda went the whole "usefulness" thing right after I thought I had made friends in college, only to find out it was only to get past a course and I'm a nobody for them again. Good thing I got a use from them, I got to learn something from that at least.

Then I get an inbox from one of them selling me something. Get the fuck out with that shit.

P.S. That doesn't mean I'm a rude person or anything, if someone approaches me and wants something, I'm respectful and easy, but I feel uncomfortable when they want to talk about something else, that might be the only thing that actually bothers me.

So disappointed my confession did not get very many replies. I have told maybe four people in my entire life about it and all of them were absolutely appalled/shocked. Here? Nada

I'm going to guess you're the one with the MILF neighbour. :v

 

[ronito]

don't know how I'm going to make it through life this next month. I
have so much bills and not enough money. Although suicide has crossed
my mind, I don't think I'd ever do something to hurt myself because I
love my family and I don't want to hurt them. I just don't know what
to do. I never thought live would be this hard. Something's got to
give and I don't want it to be.

I know it's hard to say, but it's just money. You have a family you love and loves you. Build on that and get to the point where you can love yourself.

There's been lots of posts in this thread talking about help. Use them. Hang in there. Ronito loves you!

 

[ronito]

I have been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for almost a year and I've been in a new relationship for the past 7 or 8 months with a wonderful girl who is way hotter than my ex. I would still dump her in a heartbeat if my ex wanted to get back together.

Fun fact: Sometimes, when I don't know what to say, I ask the wife, "What would you say about this?"

Her response?

God, I love her.

 

[Featheredkitten]

Hmm any way to get those? Are they nice looking?

I would also like to take a look. For science.

Honestly, I feel that if it's ambiguous in that context then you have a whole lot more issues than 'cum' vs 'come', if you understand what I'm saying. The entire scene should reflect what you are talking about. 'Cum' to me is lazy writing. And it might be just because I am older and have read loads of incredibly porny things. People even use it in the context of describing an orgasm, and it makes me want to tear my hair out.

This won't help the creepy pm situation

 

[marrec]

Fun fact: Sometimes, when I don't know what to say, I ask the wife, "What would you say about this?"

Her response?

God, I love her.

Sex must be shit now.

 

[jasonng]

I feel bad telling this story, but a well-known GAFer once streetpassed me in town. Since my Streetpass message is my twitter profile, they put two and two together (my twitter profile has my GAF avatar) and asked if I wanted to hang out some time. I never replied because the idea of meeting people I don't personally know that well kind of weirded me out.

Nothing against that guy in particular! I just feel strange about it.

I'll never forget that cold day.

That day I died a little inside.

 

[ronito]

Sex must be shit now.

Are you kidding? We're going to the store to buy some ziploc bags right now!

 

[marrec]

Are you kidding? We're going to the store to buy some ziploc bags right now!

No... not... I mean, with him.

Ziploc bags?

You haven't read the thread have you? Read the thread.

*sigh* The shit I put up with.

Edit:

Oh fuck yes! I guess I just blocked that out of my mind.

 

[ronito]

Ziploc bags?

You haven't read the thread have you? Read the thread.

*sigh* The shit I put up with.

I get a little joy knowing that in a few minutes marrec and a few other GAFers will be like "Oh...OHHHHHWHAT?!!"

 

[User 100115]

I would also like to take a look. For science.

This won't help the creepy pm situation

Heh, I made a serious OT for fanfiction. I think that ship has sailed. (Though I have restrained myself from posting incredibly porny stuff)

 

[ronito]

Attention confessors: Be patient. If I don't post your confession even within a few hours don't worry I'll eventually get to it. No need to keep sending the same one over and over. November is a long month.

 

[Pau]

Every confession run I always get a few of these. I don't understand lurkers.
Why lurk when you can participate?

I lurked for four years before getting an account, and like one or two before really using it. I was shy.

Spoiler

Sometimes I feel like a creepy stalker because I've been reading some of your posts for years before talking to some of you regularly.

As for that ziploc bit... I'm just imagining friends or family opening the fridge and coming across that. D:

 

[marrec]

You haven't read the thread have you? Read the thread.

I get a little joy knowing that in a few minutes marrec and a few other GAFers will be like "Oh...OHHHHHWHAT?!!"

I actually read that confession but I didn't associate what you saying with what I read because... of... reasons I guess.

But ya, WHAAAAAAAT?

As for that ziploc bit... I'm just imagining friends or family opening the fridge and coming across that. D:

We actually freeze Buttermilk in ziploc baggies.

Now I kinda don't ever want to use that buttermilk again.

 

[BeerSnob]

Attention confessors: Be patient. If I don't post your confession even within a few hours don't worry I'll eventually get to it. No need to keep sending the same one over and over. November is a long month.

Hire the guy from the Chinese restaurant as an unpaid intern to help shift the load. Or even as a paid intern, then don't pay him.

 

[Camjo-Z]

I always wanted to send one of these but realized I have yet to do anything weird/creepy/depraved/depressing enough to warrant one. Shucks.

Everyone else has been sending some entertaining ones so far though!

 

[ShockingAlberto]

I lurked for four years before getting an account, and like one or two before really using it. I was shy.

Spoiler

Sometimes I feel like a creepy stalker because I've been reading some of your posts for years before talking to some of you regularly.

As for that ziploc bit... I'm just imagining friends or family opening the fridge and coming across that. D:

"Hey, are you guys out of may--wait, nevermind, I found some."

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Are you kidding? We're going to the store to buy some ziploc bags right now!

 

[Featheredkitten]

We actually freeze Buttermilk in ziploc baggies.

Now I kinda don't ever want to use that buttermilk again.

thanks for the association, we may as well throw it out now.

 

[ronito]

Hire the guy from the Chinese restaurant as an unpaid intern to help shift the load. Or even as a paid intern, then don't pay him.

Half of these threads are the confessions. Another half is the commentary. And the last half is pacing.

 

[marrec]

thanks for the association, we may as well throw it out now.

It's even in these little flower shapes.

Hey, Anon with the fridge semen, get R2-D2 shaped freezie things and freeze that shit yo.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I have been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for almost a year and I've been in a new relationship for the past 7 or 8 months with a wonderful girl who is way hotter than my ex. I would still dump her in a heartbeat if my ex wanted to get back together.

What's happening here is you are editing out all the bad things that made you split up with the ex and just remembering the good stuff. You broke up for a reason, never go back it won't be the same anyway. Trust me, I've been there too many times.

 

[ronito]

Hi there GAF <3 (or possibly only ronito, we'll see about that)

Previously sent a mail using sendanonymousemail.com but then I tested to send myself one and it didn't seem to actually work, so here we go again. Didn't save my mail so had to retype it Should have tested the service before using it. Oh well, you learn from your mistakes.

So, I'm a hebephile. That means I'm primarily attracted to pubescent children (in my case mostly girls) or alternatively it means "pedophile with a dictionary". Let's get this out of the way first: I have never done anything sexual with a child and I never ever will. Neither am I part of some child pornography ring or hit on kids online (or anywhere!). Starting off by saying I'm not a bloody rapist is probably the most conspicuous thing one can do (like saying "now I'm not a racist...") but I find it necessary in this case since people tend to conflate 'pedophile' with 'child molester'.

Now that I've said what I'm not, I should probably say what I am. I tend to be attracted to girls in the ages 12 to 15 and very seldomly to adults. I don't know why, that's just the way it is. I've come to accept it but I certainly didn't want to believe it at first ("it's just a phase!").

These attractions aren't actually problematic. It simply means having crushes and attractions you can't pursue, which shouldn't be too different from anyone else. Surely everyone occassionally gets a crush you can't or won't pursue for various reasons. This is just taking that and extrapolating it to... pretty much all instead of just some. Sure, it's a pity, but that's it, nothing more. It isn't hard at all to keep from "offending" and it shouldn't be for anyone with a simulacrum of self-control. Maybe it helps that I don't drink and have never been drunk (but then I can't think of any situations in which it'd be ok to be drunk around kids anyways). Even so I doubt there'd be a problem, it's not like your average dude turns into a rapist as soon as he consumes alcohol. I have no interest in finding out, though, as I have no interest in drugs to begin with.

No, what's actually tough to deal with is keeping quiet about it. Even though I don't act on it, I still consider my sexuality a big part of who I am. Denying it and keeping to myself feels like living a lie. My best friend is the only one in real life who knows, but I don't dare talk much about it even to him (and our friendship hasn't been at its best since I revealed it to him, but I think that can be attributed to other reasons). I feel like I need to be able to talk about it, even if I'm not sure what I'd say or if there even is much to say at all. Therapy seems scary (not sure how much it'd cost, it'd have to be basically free if I were to afford it) and revealing myself for someone else who would be able to identify me in real life is frightening, even if they're a professional. "Coming out" (don't want to draw comparisons to homosexuality, homosexuals can have perfectly healthy lovelives with consenting adults) is of course out of the question, there's no way I'd have the courage and I can't begin to imagine the consequences on my social life.

I know a few sex therapists and you'd be surprised how often this comes up in their patients. It's not common but it's not uncommon either. The good news is you seem to have a good attitude about it. And I do know that therapy would be expensive but that might help you.

 

[The Atticus]

I currently hold the Intercontinental Championship in the decade long (read: long hiatus) wrestling universe among friends and family. I snatched the title away from my cousin before I emigrated. The week prior he and his brother had cheated to snag the World Tag Team Championship belt away from me and my brother, by using a disqualified weapon when the ref was distracted by the microwave.

Next month I travel to the other side of the world to venture once more into the belly of the beast and put my belt on the line along with 2 other titles (World Heavyweight and Undisputed) in a fatal four way to decide the contender for the World Tag Team Championship. Each of us four have our respective partners that would piggyback on our victories into the title match. I do not want to come home empty handed. I have waited nearly a decade for justice and my redemption.

 

[Professor Beef]

I lurked for four years before getting an account, and like one or two before really using it. I was shy.

Spoiler

Sometimes I feel like a creepy stalker because I've been reading some of your posts for years before talking to some of you regularly.

Ah yes, I remember you mentioning this in another thread. Even about my posts!

 

[vikki]

Every confession run I always get a few of these. I don't understand lurkers.
Why lurk when you can participate?

I lurked on gaf long before I had an account. I was introduced to gaf by some friends that I don't think pay attention to gaf any longer. They don't know I have an account, but they could easily tell it is me from reading a few of my posts. If you're reading this C and M, I love you guys.

 

[Erehtih]

I feel bad telling this story, but a well-known GAFer once streetpassed me in town. Since my Streetpass message is my twitter profile, they put two and two together (my twitter profile has my GAF avatar) and asked if I wanted to hang out some time. I never replied because the idea of meeting people I don't personally know that well kind of weirded me out.

Nothing against that guy in particular! I just feel strange about it.

If I found out someone was a gaffer, I'd go up to them and whisper in their ear "hello friend"

 

[Madrin]

OK, so I emailed in my confession earlier today.

I'll let y'all try and work out which one it is. I'm curious to see the replies.

Hopefully it's just unfortunate timing that this post and the pedophile confession are on the same page. Seriously though, good for that guy for recognizing his problem and wanting to seek help. It's sad that people like him feel so shunned by society that they're afraid to even ask for help.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Hopefully it's just unfortunate timing that this post and the pedophile confession are on the same page. Seriously though, good for that guy for recognizing his problem and wanting to seek help. It's sad that people like him feel so shunned by society that they're afraid to even ask for help.

Seeking help is good.

But until he says different, I'm gonna assume Cyanide Strike sent that in. Awkward.

This is why I don't understand why people work under the table unless they're undocumented. Really it never ends well for the employee. Ever.

What if he/she is undocumented?

 

[crazygambit]

I don't get the whole "it was a small town so no risk of inflammation" What?

There wasn't all that much traffic, since it was a small town, therefore he didn't have to wank that many times, thus no risk of inflammation. Do try to keep up ; )

 

[ronito]

I have always wanted to make a thread asking for advice on this but didn't want the stigma that I was some crazy depressed guy on the forum...here goes.

I have been heavily depressed for the past 15 years of my life, I am 31 by the way. I haven't had a relationship/sex/physical contact in over 10 years. I have terrible self esteem and feel everyone is out to get me. Every time I try to pick myself up and get myself out there and fix things I see myself in the mirror and remember I am ugly bastard with Gynecomastia (to put it simply man boobs), freckles and moles no matter what I do and how many times I tried to adjust my diet I always have them. It causes massive self esteem issues and I always think everyone is looking at me and laughing. I try to run daily and it is always at the back of my mind.

I have nothing but hatred for myself and I imagine that coupled with the only relationship I had was for 3 years and it was my first has caused me massive problems finding someone or just casually dating. Girl was crazy as I was and I think it really pushed me away from trying again. I am terrified of dying alone...and I just have a feeling I will never get to experience the flash of love I had felt for that girl before everything turned sour ever again.

I dated a few girls after the relationship ended and one I was really into and she was apparently as well. I just figured she wouldn't want anything to do with a heavy 6 foot goofy guy with man boobs. I know there is a surgery to fix this but I can't afford it nor do I have insurance.

I am stuck in a dead end job that I have been at for a long time and barely make good money. I have crippling debt including a massive car note that got really bad a few years ago when I had just about given up on myself and started doing some really stupid financial decisions. A few years ago I got really sick, some kind of crazy chest infection where I was coughing up brown chunks and on a few occasions some blood. I never bothered anyone about it or told anyone and just let it go. Hoping it would kill me and give me a reason not to deal with any of this anymore without putting my family through a suicide.

Last year was very bad, I had a few plans on how to end it but never went through with it. I put on a good face and try not to show what is going on to anyone and I have a feeling the family and my few friends I have left would be nothing but shocked if they knew have of this.

I really don't know how to fix it, sometimes I forget it all and have a day or two of happiness, other days I am so stoned out of my mind to remember these problems. Then I get a flash in the mirror or remember I haven't had a date in almost a decade and the depression hits me like a freight train. Wish I could afford a therapist....

Even if you don't post this, it felt a little better just venting it all out.

Thanks Ronito

First off, again, professional help links are all over this thread. Seriously use one. Secondly, are you in the US? I know for a fact that insurance does have to cover your Gynecomastia with Obamacare you should be able to get it taken care of. Further, depending o the state you should be able to get some therapy. The same advice about hobbies I gave earlier still holds true. Hang in there. Ronito loves you.

 

[NeOak]

I lurked for four years before getting an account, and like one or two before really using it. I was shy.

Spoiler

Sometimes I feel like a creepy stalker because I've been reading some of your posts for years before talking to some of you regularly.

As for that ziploc bit... I'm just imagining friends or family opening the fridge and coming across that. D:

Spoiler

Kumis Alpina!

Spoiler

ewwww

 

[Laughing Banana]

Yeah, but on the other hand, as long as no mods read the thread, he's fine.

Let's just say person A admits to ronito that he or she has done stuff that could/should get him/her banned if the mods know about it. If the mods suspect about it and put forth a request to ronito to reveal the identity behind the anonymous confessor, is ronito obliged to answer provided he knows the answer?

How about it, ronito?

 

[PKrockin]

Let's just say person A admits to ronito that he or she has done stuff that could/should get him/her banned if the mods know about it. If the mods suspect about it and put forth a request to ronito to reveal the identity behind the anonymous confessor, is ronito obliged to answer provided he knows the answer?

How about it, ronito?

Asking out of curiosity?

 

[AcridMeat]

If I found out someone was a gaffer, I'd go up to them and whisper in their ear "hello friend"

Imagining this in Oscar the grouch's voice is incredible.

ShockingAlberto that's a bit weird. We'll all just people.

 

[Professor Beef]

Imagining this in Oscar the grouch's voice is incredible.

It's been too long since I've heard Oscar's voice, but I tried.

 

[Laughing Banana]

Asking out of curiosity?

Of course.

 

[RyougaSaotome]

Just talking about making friends/meeting new people and stuff.

As somebody who lives in Japan, I've found J-Gaf to be a great network of super fucking cool people. I haven't met everybody, but I have met quite a few folks (RevenantKioku, JonnyRam, Hasemo, Mehdi, etc etc the list is long) and they're very good buds of mine. Anytime I've been in one of their areas, I've made it a point to hang.

There are a lot of doofs on GAF, but there are also a lot of VERY cool people. Don't be afraid to try and make contact.

 

[AcridMeat]

It's been too long since I've heard Oscar's voice, but I tried.

Mine's too loud

 

[ronito]

Let's just say person A admits to ronito that he or she has done stuff that could/should get him/her banned if the mods know about it. If the mods suspect about it and put forth a request to ronito to reveal the identity behind the anonymous confessor, is ronito obliged to answer provided he knows the answer?

How about it, ronito?

Depends on who has more money.

 

[ronito]

I am a bit of a exhibitionist.

Years ago while living with my parents in condo surrounded by a Golf Course and nice houses I developed a habit of streaking alone at night short distances on the golf course path. Stripped all the down behind a bush and would run mile on the path and then back. The rush from it was amazing.
One day at work my Boss (who lived in the same area....) was joking around with me on a Friday and said "Well just don't get caught naked in that golf course" I turned red and just stared at him. All I could think to say was a pitiful "heh what do you mean?". He just looked at me and laughed and told me to get back to work.

That was the end of that....

"Short distances" runs a mile in the nude.

Also this one is a lot better if you do a dramatic reading of it.

 

[hwalker84]

Yep, this weekend we're going out for our six year anniversary.

Congrats Feathered and Marrec!!!