Worst travellers
Atlético Madrid's plane caught fire and their luggage disappeared in the space of two weeks. Maybe it's a good job they missed out on Europe.
Best match report
Asked for 100 words on Recreativo's crashingly dull 1-0 win over Real Sociedad, Marca's José Luis Hurtado wrote: "Maradona, Di Stéfano, Pelé, Cruyff, Van Basten, Gullit, Zidane, Gento, Puskas, Roberto Baggio, Torpedo Muller, Zico, Bergkamp, Eusebio, Futre, Blokhin, Breitner, Cabrini, Conti, Elkjaer, Laudrup, Garrincha, Gascoigne, Krol, Francescoli, Matthaus, Beto Alonso., Gigi Riva, Rossi, Antognoni, Beckenbauer, Bobby Charlton, George Best, Giggs, Kempes, Boniek, Romario, Bonhof, Liam Brady, Careca, Jarzinho, Cantona, Cafu, Luis Suarez, Kubala, Deyna, Didi, Eder, Donadoni, Redondo, Hagi, Giresse, Haan, Uli Hoeness, Rummenigge, Dalglish, Keegan, Kopa, Tigana, Guardiola, Rivera, Rivelino, Mazzola, Schuster, Simonsen, Falcao, Hugo Sánchez, Ronald Koeman, Pereira, Mágico Gonzalez, Mauro Silva, Maldini, Franco Baresi, Panenka, Bebeto, Overath, Tostao, Waddle and Zola would not have liked this match. Nor did I."
Best celebration
Raul González has given up on that ring-kissing nonsense to do the Big-I-Am, even though there are 31 players who scored more than him, while Dani Alves gave the fans a Christmas treat by pulling a Santa Hat from his shorts and dancing a little Christmas ditty to mark a wonderful goal against Depor on Twelfth Night. "It was starting to get a bit itchy down there but luckily, I eventually got the excuse to pull it out from my pants and show everyone," Alves grinned as Sid James cackled away behind him. The No1, though, is the collective madness that followed Madrid's last-minute winner against Espanyol, with Gonzalo Higuaín throwing his shirt into the air, Van Nistelrooy picking it up and unfurling it for the fans and Fabio Cannavaro grabbing the corner flag and waving it about grinning like some sort of simpleton.
And, finally, quotes of the year
"Anyone who says that I refused to play [as Rijkaard did] is a bad person; if a team-mate says I should be thinking about the group [as Ronaldinho did], he's the one that should think about the group. [There is] a war with two sides. It is not my war but I am the one taking all the hits. [If Rosell has anything to say to me] he should have the balls to say so to my face; he never said anything to me when he was my boss. He didn't even say hello to me and now he is attacking me behind my back. I hope they know that I'm back now - even if my goals do hurt them. I can forgive but not forget" - Samuel Eto'o, the "ticking time-bomb" that Florentino Pérez boasted of planting in the Barça dressing room, finally goes off.
"You attack me with a bullet and I respond with a bomb" - Eto'o justifies his rant.
"I cried over my impotence" - Betis keeper Koke Contreras reveals rather too much.
"It's got all the latest gear, I'm telling you" - Barça defender Sylvinho tries to explain why Ronaldinho keeps "going to the gym" rather than training with his teams.
"The refs are not helping us" - Fabio Capello, week 23.
"I never talk about referees" - Fabio Capello, week 24.
"I will pass up my salary for the next three weeks if it helps to pay off Capello. Bye, Fabio, It was horrible while it lasted" AS's Mad Madridista Tomás Roncero, week 21.
"Fabio, thank you from the bottom of my heart!" - AS's Mad Madridista Tomás Roncero, week 38.
"Madrid didn't defend well. Madrid didn't attack well. But they won. It was the same as always" - Former player and TV pundit Manu Sarrabia sums it up.
"We all know what Basque teams are like; it's obvious what the score will be for this one" - David Albelda is convinced that nothing-to-play-for Osasuna will do their Basque brothers from Sociedad a favour and lose. They don't.
"I don't doubt you Albelda, sunshine. Next week you have the chance to show what super professionals you are by beating Levante" - Osasuna coach Cuco Ziganda strikes back. The following week, Valencia lose to Levante.
"Our players are not educated, they get treated like gods wherever they go and never put their hands in their pockets for anything ... Guti is still a promise at 29 ... and David Beckham is half an actor, bound for Hollywood because no one wanted him" - Ramón Calderón makes friends with the squad.
"It was a private conversation" - So says Ramón Calderón of a miked-up conference in front of 150 students he doesn't know.