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[Krauser Kat]

Dating a virgin is really fucking hard.

Its too time and emotional investment that might not pay off.

Even worse when they are virgins because of external issues (depression and/or abuse earlier in life). Its hard to become emotionally attached and involved with someone you could very well have no sexual chemistry with or comparability.

The more experienced partner is forced into a teaching role, any problems with the couples sex life fall on that person shoulders. In reality people can teach you how to meet their needs but not teach you how to you personally have intercourse or love.

 

[Akuun]

There's really no reason to shame for it. There's no reason to have some sort of social stigma associated with being a certain age and still being a virgin.

Losing your virginity is something that varies highly from person to person. No one should feel pressured or shamed into losing it just because some other people think you should have lost it by now. It's none of their business. There are all sorts of reasons why people would not rush the process. Things like "I haven't met someone I like yet", "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" or I want to focus on this other thing for now" are all totally valid reasons for not being in a situation where you might lose it. It's stupid that it's so common for people to shame other people for an aspect of their life that has absolutely nothing to do with them.

 

[brawly]

If you get horny, but can't have sex with anyone, that's gotta suck, if it's been that way for 25+ years, that's got to really suck. It's basic human nature to want to fuck *and early at that* I'd defy find it odd if I found out someone was a virgin over 25. That's strange, like if you masturbate, you prolly wanna have sex too eventually. I guess I'd judge on a case to case basis. Honestly I just think you probably dirty or smelly if you can't get sex after 25. Obviously I'm not including people who chose *heh* and people with medical disabilities. Like take this scenario

1. Virgin male age 26 sees cute girl at store. "Geez, it would be swell to date her, but I am a Virgin, and I could never pull someone like her." Buys Assassins creed 2 and goes home

2. Sexually active male sees cute girl at store. "Geez, it would be swell to date her, let me go talk to her and see if she has a boyfriend." Buys No more hero's and proceeds to get the lady.

I just believe if you're that old and can't get a girl, you've missed some social cues in life. Nothing wrong with it, but it's weird.

You're probably trying your hardest not to shame people in a thread about the issue of shaming people based on their virginity, but I got to say you're doing an absolutely terrible job and frankly come off as an asshole. My favorite bit though

I guess I'd judge on a case to case basis.

Huh, okay, very reasonable.

Honestly I just think you probably dirty or smelly if you can't get sex after 25.

Generalizing, simplifying and making assumptions is more fun though, isn't it?

 

[Fulminator]

Dating a virgin is really fucking hard.

Its too time and emotional investment that might not pay off.

Even worse when they are virgins because of external issues (depression and/or abuse earlier in life). Its hard to become emotionally attached and involved with someone you could very well have no sexual chemistry with or comparability.

The more experienced partner is forced into a teaching role, any problems with the couples sex life fall on that person shoulders. In reality people can teach you how to meet their needs but not teach you how to you personally have intercourse or love.

My gf had this concern when we started dating/first had sex. Once I had done it a couple times it was really no issue, and we have healthy sex life these days (well relatively, haven't had much sex recently due to school and the stress it brings affecting both of us lol, but we have talked about it and are ok with it for now ). For people with depression, past abuse, etc you are definitely right, but for relatively well adjusted people who are just shy/anxious etc, it's really not hard to figure things out as long as you are communicating with your partner.

At least this is my perspective having lost my virginity to someone more experienced. I am pretty confident she enjoys having sex with me a lot, despite the lack of previous sexual experience.

 

[clav]

If you're a virgin I wouldn't bother coming up with a convincing sounding fake sex story, it's going to be immediately obvious that you're lying and it's just going to be even more awkward for everyone involved.

https://youtu.be/-psUnkQBrZk

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Men are shamed for not having sex, women are shamed for having sex.
The obvious solution is for men to have sex with each other, but they get shamed (and much worse) for doing that too.
Society can be dumb as fuck sometimes.

lol, for real

Solution: have as much sex as you want and stop caring what society thinks

Spoiler

not that easy for LGBT people in some places of the world, I know...

If you don't want even your close friends to know you're a virgin, make up a convincing sex story. You know how you hear your close friends exchanging sex stories and funny plunders etc.? If you're the one who never has a story to tell, they catch on. Come up with a sex story that sounds plausible, something normal, and maybe make it like you did something embarassing in it and didn't really want to tell about it before. Make it be with a random fictional person so they can't try to verify it from someone.

This is the worst advice so far. Even the advice on going to a sex worker to lose your virginity isn't as bad.

Saying "it's been a while, I'm gonna be rusty" is a forgivable lie and if it helps with your anxiety/nervousness, then whatever. But this? Making up a story? Don't fucking do this. It's all manners of pathetic, and sexually active people will recognize the bullshit anyway so you'll come across as even more insecure and desperate.

 

[Brick]

Dating a virgin is really fucking hard.

Its too time and emotional investment that might not pay off.

This is such a baffling line of thinking for me. The only reason to date someone is for the "payoff" of good sex? Like, you deserve it because of the time and emotional investment? Do you expect sex from all of your close friends?

 

[Moose Biscuits]

No, it's fine. Just don't do creepy shit/inconvenient stuff. You'll know in context.

No, unless you are doing it in a creep way like the poster you quoted

That's the thing, creep seems highly subjective based on what you're like, what whoever you're approaching is like, etc. I'd probably be creepy though.

That's the thing though, all the support apparatus and side stuff you have to do and know in order to have sex/intimacy seems like way too much of a hassle to be dealing with. I feel like that's something that you'd be more acquainted with if you're already experienced in that area, but the longer you go without having been in that world the more difficult it's going to seem.

 

[Royce McCutcheon]

That's the thing, creep seems highly subjective based on what you're like, what whoever you're approaching is like, etc. I'd probably be creepy though.

That's the thing though, all the support apparatus and side stuff you have to do and know in order to have sex/intimacy seems like way too much of a hassle to be dealing with. I feel like that's something that you'd be more acquainted with if you're already experienced in that area, but the longer you go without having been in that world the more difficult it's going to seem.

I just believe if you're that old and can't get a girl, you've missed some social cues in life

Starting a race 10 yards behind everyone makes it hard to catch up, not impossible though

 

[Aizo]

I have several good friends who are virgins, and I don't see anything wrong with them. They're actually really wonderful people, so I don't really perpetuate the bad image.

 

[T.v]

I feel like this is predominantly an American thing. Just look at all the media suggesting Virgins are losers. I have never encountered anything like that where I am from, and get the feeling people here generally don't care as much about it. Of course, it doesn't really come up in any conversation so I could be wrong.
I myself am a Virgin at 25. I don't see this as a negative thing, I don't blame society; I know the reasons and I am fine with it for now. Mostly, it's because I have never made an effort to pursue a relationship which is 100% on me and I accept this. My mental condition is good, my self esteem is good, I think I look good so I don't think i'd have much issue finding a willing partner if I really wanted to. Sex just doesn't interest me much, finding a relationship does however, and that is something I need to start working towards soon.

People who know me probably know I am a virgin, it's not something I keep a secret and I have never felt shamed for it. It's disappointing that there's still such prejudice to be found even in this thread, I had expected better from here, but I am confident most of GAF is above this.

 

[i-Lo]

Where are my powers GAF? I was told that I'd be a wizard when I reached 30 as a virgin.

Dating a virgin is really fucking hard.

Its too time and emotional investment that might not pay off.

Even worse when they are virgins because of external issues (depression and/or abuse earlier in life). Its hard to become emotionally attached and involved with someone you could very well have no sexual chemistry with or comparability.

The more experienced partner is forced into a teaching role, any problems with the couples sex life fall on that person shoulders. In reality people can teach you how to meet their needs but not teach you how to you personally have intercourse or love.

Pretty much sums up why I'm done with the dating scene.

 

[Krauser Kat]

My gf had this concern when we started dating/first had sex. Once I had done it a couple times it was really no issue, and we have healthy sex life these days (well relatively, haven't had much sex recently due to school and the stress it brings affecting both of us lol, but we have talked about it and are ok with it for now ). For people with depression, past abuse, etc you are definitely right, but for relatively well adjusted people who are just shy/anxious etc, it's really not hard to figure things out as long as you are communicating with your partner.

At least this is my perspective having lost my virginity to someone more experienced. I am pretty confident she enjoys having sex with me a lot, despite the lack of previous sexual experience.

Awesome im glad you guys worked out.

This is such a baffling line of thinking for me. The only reason to date someone is for the "payoff" of good sex? Like, you deserve it because of the time and emotional investment? Do you expect sex from all of your close friends?

Where the fuck do all your assumptions come from? Compatible sexual drives and chemistry is a huge part of any relationship.

Virgins simply dont have that information yet and wont know until they have been having sex for awhile.

I think everyone deserves to have a happy sexual life with or without a partner. Some people can be great friends but terrible lovers.

Great sex is only 10% of a great relationships. Bad sex life exacerbate all the little problems in a relationship making it a focal point.

No matter how hard you try, some people are not sexually compatible.

Virgins are totally normal people that are specific instance like any other like or dislike during dating that unless i "fall in love" with someone on the first date it might not be worth the roulette of it. I may have my own personal baggage that makes sexual compatibility higher on my list then some. We all have our own shit.

 

[Leeness]

Do we have anyone in here to speak on women in their 30s that have not lost their virginity?

Any hardships they have in relationships?
Dating life?
And making the decision on if they still want to lose it to someone they love, one night stand, or never?

Woman, 30, I’ve been on maybe five dates in my life, just don’t care.

 

[Raxus]

Where the fuck do all your assumptions come from? Compatible sexual drives and chemistry is a huge part of any relationship.

Virgins simply dont have that information yet and wont know until they have been having sex for awhile.

I think everyone deserves to have a happy sexual life with or without a partner. Some people can be great friends but terrible lovers.

Great sex is only 10% of a great relationships. Bad sex life exacerbate all the little problems in a relationship making it a focal point.

No matter how hard you try, some people are not sexually compatible.

Goes along the lines of kink shaming. You learn what you like through experience. It is highly unlikely you will stumble on to great sex but great sex is like anything going into a great relationship. You connect at a certain level and you COMMUNICATE.

 

[Dyle]

This mindset is a large part in why I've only had one brief, week-long relationship. I already have a very hard time putting myself out there in normal social situations and the fear of being judged for not being able to take part in a reciprocally enjoyable relationship due to my inexperience pushes me away further. It's both a major issue in its own right and a symptom of a larger problem. As it turns out, it's way more comfortable for me to sit on gaf and other sites all day/night in my boring apartment rather than risking going out, meeting new people, and building relationships romantic or otherwise. If I didn't feel as I'm being or had the potential to be shamed or mocked then I would be more willing to take risks and take part in social relations of all kinds.

The one positive of being a virgin, never kissing or making out with someone, etc. around all my friends is that I always win whenever we play "Never have I ever."

It is great being a "winner" of Never Have I Ever, but the whole point of the game is basically to shame people, both those who have done crazy weird shit and those who haven't done anything. It's one of the most common types of shaming out there and it's not you like you get anything for winning anyway

 

[Brick]

Awesome im glad you guys worked out.



Where the fuck do all your assumptions come from? Compatible sexual drives and chemistry is a huge part of any relationship.

Virgins simply dont have that information yet and wont know until they have been having sex for awhile.

I think everyone deserves to have a happy sexual life with or without a partner. Some people can be great friends but terrible lovers.

Great sex is only 10% of a great relationships. Bad sex life exacerbate all the little problems in a relationship making it a focal point.

No matter how hard you try, some people are not sexually compatible.

Virgins are totally normal people that are specific instance like any other like or dislike during dating that unless i "fall in love" with someone on the first date it might not be worth the roulette of it. I may have my own personal baggage that makes sexual compatibility higher on my list then some. We all have our own shit.

I guess I just misread that post. I've met far too many people that expect sex if they do X and Y that when I read the word "payoff," it set something off in me. I shouldn't have made those assumptions, my bad.

 

[Krauser Kat]

I guess I just misread that post. I've met far too many people that expect sex if they do X and Y that when I read the word "payoff," it set something off in me. I shouldn't have made those assumptions, my bad.

Its cool.

I shouldnt have used payoff since what i meant was having a healthy sex life. Going from being in relationship with terrible sex and then getting into one with a great compatibility feels like winning the lottery.

People deserve happy sex lives but are never entitled to sex. If one person always thinks they should be having more sex, maybe they are in the wrong relationship, or they are an asshole or both.

 

[B-B-Bomba!]

I was a male virgin until I was 27 and must have spent close to 15 years wanting to not be. (A lot of what follows is really targeted at a male audience, I do apologise for that bias)

It's hard to see from the point of view of a bit more experience now what the problem even was. Strictly speaking, the only truly regrettable thing was my depression and anxiety surrounding it ... There's been nothing ultimately all that wrong with leaving those experiences for later in life.

You can't objectively say that that's a worse thing, it just is what it is. I evidently didn't want such a messy life, and so it's not what I had ... I've hurt/delighted fewer people and been hurt/delighted less in turn.

However I would go back and change it if I could, because there's no way round the fact that I missed out in life, and will never not feel it, honestly ... But that is a personal thing.

In my case I was just so stuck in my own fragile ego and pride that I couldn't be vulnerable enough to make a play for someone's attention.

I lacked a few social resources I suppose. I'd strongly encourage anyone in their twenties and in a similar situation to do something radical about it (eg if it's bothering you but you don't know what you can do about it).

Kill your darlings, basically. Pack your consoles and other comforts into storage for a while, take your life on your back and hit the world. I'd most recommend finding some live-in working placements, eg support work in a community setting. Just Google for an afternoon and you'll find dozens of places offering opportunities you've never heard or thought about before. You'll grow a thousand fold as a person, and you'll also place yourself where there's a lot of young, eager, exciting people who don't know one another very well all trying to get along. Added bonus for the young straight men is that the gender ratio will probably also work in your favour. May sound creepy but it will help you to relax and just work on forming friendships.

Which, ultimately, is the ground from which sexual relations spring. I think I always made the mistake of failing to live up to an imagined ideal of how romance was transacted, and who with. Especially who with. Try to get popstars and film actresses out of your head and instead really see the person you're next to, and if you enjoy their company, try to answer honestly if part of you twinges at the thought of undressing them. If so then just find some dumb stupid dorky way of making it obvious. You need courage and confidence for that part, which is why growing a bit as a person first helps, and so does being in a relatively transitory environment ... It certainly should scare you which I estimate is where a lot of young men mistakenly draw the line ...

Good luck to you all and always love yourself

 

[foxuzamaki]

You can say the same exact thing about money. More so, in fact. But it seems not as much people stigmatize that

Because alot more people dont have money, but alot of those people have been found to be very good at sex and can use that to get luxuries richer people have.

 

[BlueBadger]

I'll always fail to see how someone's sex life is someone else's business. I never, ever ask someone about stuff like that unless they open up to me about it voluntarily. And even then, I wouldn't look down on someone for how much or how little they've had sex.

 

[Urban Scholar]

I'll always fail to see how someone's sex life is someone else's business. I never, ever ask someone about stuff like that unless they open up to me about it voluntarily. And even then, I wouldn't look down on someone for how much or how little they've had sex.

Unfortunately society makes the opposite of this seem very normal. Like hey did you watch Game of Thrones last night?

 

[Mass Effect]

I call certain men virgins because it's the only thing that seems to sting them as hard as their blatant misogyny stings at me. Even if they're realistically not virgins, it hurts them.

It's the only ammo I have, fam.

I think this is an interesting point, at least in regards to discussion of virginity on GAF. It's not an uncommon insult to see people saying "these people are just sexually frustrated virgins who are mad at the world because women reject them. They'll never feel the touch of a woman," in regards to gamergaters or alt-righters.

And I mean it's probably not inaccurate... but still, it's strange to see virginity used as an insult like that and then we have threads like this where many are expressing how people shouldn't be insulting others for their virginity, and if someone's a virgin it's no one else's business.

Don't really know where I'm going with is. It's just an observation I've made.

 

[Raptomex]

I was in high school from late 2003 - 2007. Being a heterosexual male, and in my circle of friends at the time, yeah, there was a lot of talk about getting "laid" or wanting to. Typical teenage male hetero bullshit I guess. My first time was after those years and honestly, it's really not that big of a deal. It's not like you magically change or your life is any different afterward. All of the responsibilities and current life shit are still there. Sadly, I think it's hard to explain that to somebody who hasn't had sex. I don't think there's much you can say to that person to make them feel any better about it, if they really want it, especially in today's society. But that may also depend on the individual and other factors. For example, if you told my horny 15 year old self way back when, "your time will come" or something like that, that wouldn't make me feel any different or want to wait or whatever.

Sex can be great but it's also work, physical work. Furthermore, there's more to it than just banging. Seriously. Some may not care about this stuff but I often factor in condoms, birth control, is the person clean, and other stuff to confirm we're being safe. People often just get together and fuck but the consequences could be dire if they're not prepared. The shaming needs to fuck off.

I don't care if somebody is a virgin or not and I never really did. I don't ask and it doesn't matter, anyway. And anybody who says "if you haven't had sex by the time your XX, there must be something wrong with you" can go fuck themselves. Some people just aren't ready yet for whatever reason. It's their business.

 

[Vestal]

I never understood the point of this.. I was "lucky" and popped my cherry pretty young (14) but I never felt the need to rub it in my friends face or try and use it as some sort of Macho chip on how more man I am cause I had sex.. Its fucking stupid, not to mention that having sex young usually leads to really bad sex(how do you do this!?!?) and/or fuck ups... (Thankfully I suffered from the former at my young age and not the latter hehe)

 

[Monkeyball]

It's fun to make fun of virgins when they are raging 'badass' jerks online.

 

[Finn of Ooo]

Anyone who shames someone because they haven't had sex is a fairly sad person in there own right. If the metric by which you judge someone is whether or not they've had sex you should reevaluate your priorities.

 

[squall211]

I'd dare say I'm the oldest virgin on GAF, and if I'm not, I've got to be pretty close. Being a virgin when you don't want to be sucks as much as you think it does.

But paying for it/seeing a sex worker, etc., will never be an option. Seems like that would be a very empty experience.

 

[BlueBadger]

Unfortunately society makes the opposite of this seem very normal. Like hey did you watch Game of Thrones last night?

People's ideas of small talk are apparently real fucked up :|

 

[Sami+]

Dating a virgin is really fucking hard.

Its too time and emotional investment that might not pay off.

Even worse when they are virgins because of external issues (depression and/or abuse earlier in life). Its hard to become emotionally attached and involved with someone you could very well have no sexual chemistry with or comparability.

The more experienced partner is forced into a teaching role, any problems with the couples sex life fall on that person shoulders. In reality people can teach you how to meet their needs but not teach you how to you personally have intercourse or love.

I mean there's good and bad to this though I think. Me and my gf have been doing "everything but" since we started dating in January because we soon found out she had an enlarged hymen and actually needed surgery for me to get in there. Fast forward to last month and she got the surgery, but she's still pretty small and I just don't fit, so now that's a new problem that'll just take some time. It seemed to almost happen but whenever we try she gets anxious as fuck and closes right up and I have to get her to relax.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit frustrating, but I lost my virginity to my ex before her last year. She's anxious as hell about it being good and doing it right or whatever and I'm in that teacher role like you said, but I also have done it so that huge emotional barrier isn't there for me anymore. I was fine with what we were doing before and I'm chill with it taking a while because I don't really give a fuck anymore lol.

Not saying you're wrong, of course, I actually agree- just giving a different perspective as well.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

It's fun to make fun of virgins when they are raging 'badass' jerks online.

I admit, yeah, I don't really have a problem with that.

I'd dare say I'm the oldest virgin on GAF, and if I'm not, I've got to be pretty close. Being a virgin when you don't want to be sucks as much as you think it does.

Now you can't tease your wizardry and not tell us your actual age.

 

[squall211]

I admit, yeah, I don't really have a problem with that.


Now you can't tease your wizardry and not tell us your actual age.

lol, well, Steve Carrell starred in a very funny movie about this about a dozen years ago.

 

[Sami+]

lol, well, Steve Carrell starred in a very funny movie about this about a dozen years ago.

The scene where he struggles to take the girl's bra off and she ends up losing steam was more relatable than it should have been LOL

 

[squall211]

The scene where he struggles to take the girl's bra off and she ends up losing steam was more relatable than it should have been LOL

Gotta admit, as much as I cringe whenever that film is mentioned (since it hits close to home for me), it's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

 

[Rogan]

Haven't been a virgin in ages so wouldn't know how that feels but you can always lie.

The opposite happened to me. Friends and co-workers thought I lied about beeing a virgin.

I lost mine at 17. My height and build made me look older I guess.

Recently I dated a girl who never kissed. She even told me beforehand that she never kissed someone. My view on her didn't change at all. I had great moments with her.

 

[FranF]

I feel like the main problem with sex is that it requires two consenting adults. Once science gets us past this hurdle I think things will improve. There will still be shaming of people who haven't had sex with a real person though.

Ever heard of Rohypnol? Science is on it.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

He said that second bit, not me. I was referring more along the lines of VR and sex robots.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

It's fun to make fun of virgins when they are raging 'badass' jerks online.

"It's fun to use X insult when they are raging 'badass' jerks online."

See, this is not a good slope.

 

[How About No]

"It's fun to use X insult when they are raging 'badass' jerks online."

See, this is not a good slope.

Nah I'm pretty fine with personally lol

There's being a virgin and having issues with it, and that's fine, work your issues out, and then there's being so angry and hateful due to being a virgin and thats hilarious and probably not worth sympathy lol

 

[Peltz]

I see a lot of "Losing your virginity won't change your life" but in many ways it can. I don't think I was alone in being an immature straight male whose goal through most of senior school and university etc was to lose his virginity, but for me it became this all consuming goal hanging over everything with all the stresses and strains that carries with it. Part of that was peer pressure I suspect.

When I lost my virginity at the age of 19 it was, rightly or wrongly, like a great weight was lifted, my mind was reset; I had 'achieved' what had been consuming many of my waking (and subconscious sleeping) hours for a number of years, I had performed well enough for someone with zero first hand experience of what they were doing (ie terribly, but I didn't kill anyone, bonus), I felt my horizons had expanded in a sense of I knew more now than I did previously, and I felt a weird sense of leaving the 'boy' behind, as cliché and daft as that might sound. I also felt a sense of realisation, of de-mystification. A sense of 'aha, so that's what it's like'. The pursuit of sex wasn't such a detrimental presence anymore, the pressure was off. I could slot it into my life as just another aspect, but not the main aspect.

Generally when I was growing up you weren't a virgin by choice if you were a straight male. We didn't have standards especially, we weren't waiting for 'The One', it was a pure drive to carry out the base act.

I could relate to this. I also lost my v-card at 19 and had a similar feeling when I did.

I am still the same person after I lost it as before, but after losing it, sex wasn't an all-consuming obsession any more. I was still horny of course (and 11 years later, still am), but sex often yields to more important priorities (but not always). Prior to losing my virginity, it was THE priority.

 

[Deleted member 59090]

Is this real? Y'all being for real?. Introducing yourself to someone is not creeping. How did relationships work before the internet??? It takes less than 2 minutes to strike up a conversation and get a number.

I don't think it's creepy at all. Just annoying.

 

[Sami+]

I thought striking up a conversation with randoms in public in a non dating context is heavily discouraged (creeping, etc).

It's only creepy if said random obviously wants out of the conversation and you don't leave them alone. So basically it's only creepy if you're creepy.

 

[StayDead]

It's only creepy if said random obviously wants out of the conversation and you don't leave them alone. So basically it's only creepy if you're creepy.

It's impossible to tell if you're going to be creepy until you start though, so if you don't want to make things awkward for someone like me you just back out of every moment like that.

 

[SmackDaddy]

"Don't do something horribly embarrassing." And it just kind of repeats every few seconds... So pretty much the same thing running through my head whenever I'm around one or more other people.

This just seems like low self esteem. Do you actually not wanna have hanky panky or are you just nervous ?

 

[Vermillion]

Not thrown around anywhere near as much. But it felt pretty bad because the assumption is that sex as a woman is so easy to get. So there must be something seriously wrong with you if not a single guy has ever wanted to do that with you.

Ah... that makes sense... Sucks.

 

[BiGBoSSMk23]

Dating a virgin is really fucking hard.

Its too time and emotional investment that might not pay off.

Even worse when they are virgins because of external issues (depression and/or abuse earlier in life). Its hard to become emotionally attached and involved with someone you could very well have no sexual chemistry with or comparability.

The more experienced partner is forced into a teaching role, any problems with the couples sex life fall on that person shoulders. In reality people can teach you how to meet their needs but not teach you how to you personally have intercourse or love.

What the fuck at this whole post...

You're trying to to justify your selfishness right out of the gate with a virgin's lack of experience.

That's fucked up, dude.

 

[Urban Scholar]

People's ideas of small talk are apparently real fucked up :|

I agree friend.

 

[StayDead]

I would also like to point out until last year (I'm 27) I'd never even managed to ask a girl out for a drink. Even then I struggled.

I'm genuinly confused about my situation. I grew up being bullied for my looks, but I can't tell if I'm ugly anymore, I just feel like I am due to self confidence issues. I can chat to anyone now thanks to work, other than women of around the same age as me whether I find them attractive or not. Words just do not come out of my mouth when I try to speak and I start stuttering.

I've been told middle aged women find me really kind and handsome, but I can't tell if they're joking when I've been told that. My own confidence issues again take over. My closest friend is married and I get on really well with his wife, she treats me like part of their family which is awesome and I act perfectly normal around her. My other friends wife is nice to me, but as I don't know her as much it feels like she's only nice to me because she's my friends wife. My other friends are either in the same position as me or have no interest in relationships with people long term.

I genuinly have no idea what I'm supposed to do to get over this wall I put infront of myself. I've been told by people just to act natural and confident, but I just don't know how. I don't really care that I'm a virgin, but I do care that no matter how hard I try I just freeze up when I'm with other people. I'm a much better listener than I am talker, but that isn't going to get me anywhere.

 

[Haly]

"It's fun to use X insult when they are raging 'badass' jerks online."

See, this is not a good slope.

Yeah I mean this is what PDP got caught on. He might be a real racist but there’s the idea that certain insults are “okay” in the context of video game trash talk when they’re not okay otherwise, but you can’t neatly compartmentalize these things, it’s all connected.

I’m not saying you should never trash talk but there are subtle consequences to somesentiments and people should be aware of them.

 

[Basketball]

I think this is an interesting point, at least in regards to discussion of virginity on GAF. It's not an uncommon insult to see people saying "these people are just sexually frustrated virgins who are mad at the world because women reject them. They'll never feel the touch of a woman," in regards to gamergaters or alt-righters.

And I mean it's probably not inaccurate... but still, it's strange to see virginity used as an insult like that and then we have threads like this where many are expressing how people shouldn't be insulting others for their virginity, and if someone's a virgin it's no one else's business. Don't really know where I'm going with is. It's just an observation I've made.

Yeah I noticed that too even from the big complainers in sexism in video game threads
You would think at least these people have the sensibilities to not make fun of someone for possibly being a virgin but it happens a bunch even on here. Yeah there are aholes on reddit/twitter but I would not make fun of someone with the very personal thing called intimacy.