triplestation
Member
go on a road trip to texas
make them meet irl and watch them awkwardly look away from eachother
make them meet irl and watch them awkwardly look away from eachother
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Online relationship consuming my friend's life
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You should smack him a good one for facetiming while driving, but fuck off regarding his relationship.
You Are Viewtiful
Member
*grabs popcorn*
terrisus
Member
Am I butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?
Never assume what's online is real!
Seems like a typical long distance relationship to me. Not sure what the big deal is.
Also
Also
He's the kind of guy who goes to class without talking to anyone then goes straight home.
Well, he's a student and doesn't have too much money to spend. Maybe he will one day? Who knows.
I have no problem with a friend spending their time with a SO, it's just I think this online gf thing is weird as hell and not healthy. I could be completely wrong though. I just want him to "snap back to reality" so to speak.
I don't think that.
That's not the problem at all. I just think being obsessed with an online SO to the point of this type of stupid shit is kind of messed up. If this was someone local who he knew, I would be happy for him.
Why do you feel it's weird? Meeting people online is exceedingly common these days.
Dr.Palutena
Member
I honestly don't get the fixation with the online distinction, either the behavior is wrong in its own right in regards to a relationship or it isn't. The online part is frivolous , heck it isn't even like 15 years ago where Skype/Oovoo/whatever wasn't super popular and everyone didn't have webcams and could see they're actually talking to who people say they are.
Pretty much. If he loves this girl you telling him to drop her isn't going to do anything.
But he should definitely be safe about texting/talking and driving and you should point out he's being ultra-rude by staring at his phone when he's out with friends. That's just common courtesy. His girl should understand if he has a night out every once in a while and doesn't contact her for that evening.
Let me clarify. Online dating in itself when used as a means to find local people to hook up with is perfectly fine IMO. It's weird to me when it's used to have an actual "online relationship" with someone who you can't feasibly meet in real life. Having a strictly online SO is what's weird to me.
This sounds like good advice, thanks.
Thatonemoor
Member
Yeah as someone who was like your friend throughout most of my high school days I suggest two things. First: Just stay out of it if anything you will just piss him off and you will ruin your friendship with him. Trust me he is going to need a friend if he breaks up with her and can't get with another girl in like 2 weeks of breaking up with this chick so don't do anything that will make him push you away. Second: He will either get sick of the separation part of the online relationship at some point and break up with her (or visa versa) or they will actually meet at some point and everything will will be cookies and creme.
Seriously as long as he isn't doing and really emo shit or saying things like "I will give up everything just to be with her" he will be fine. Your friend (And her for that matter) is more than likely suffering from a serious case of infatuation and it goes away as soon as they talk to each other long enough to get a REAL understand of who the other person is. So yeah just let it do man, unless some red lights flash time will do its job.
Seriously as long as he isn't doing and really emo shit or saying things like "I will give up everything just to be with her" he will be fine. Your friend (And her for that matter) is more than likely suffering from a serious case of infatuation and it goes away as soon as they talk to each other long enough to get a REAL understand of who the other person is. So yeah just let it do man, unless some red lights flash time will do its job.
Spring-Loaded
Member
How does fidelity work when it's strictly an online relationship?
That phrase rings a bell
That phrase rings a bell
Hari Seldon
Member
I'd say mind your own fucking business and scoff at him behind his back.
terrisus
Member
It's not weird or unhealthy.
It wasn't weird or unhealthy when I met my first girlfriend online in 1998, it wasn't weird or unhealthy when I met my wife online in 2002, and it's definitely not weird or unhealthy here in 2014.
What's weird and unhealthy is you trying to decide what is proper in your friend's life - especially something like this - and deciding that this isn't "reality."
Just like it does in any other relationship - however those involved decide it should work.
We spend most of our time on the internet on forums for enthusiasts of hobbies and interests.. why is it so creepy that someone might meet a suitable mate on one of these venues?
The internet conveniently groups us with like-minded people quite often.
Furthermore online chatting is a really efficient way to get to know someone. Barriers often present during physical conversations between 2 people not used to each other's presence aren't there. Comfort levels are higher.
It's actually quite conducive to meeting someone... billions of people available as opposed to those local to you.. everyone grouping together and expressing interests, etc.
terrisus
Member
And after that 34 seconds is over, you'll be out the $39.99 that the hooker cost, and your friend will be right back with his girlfriend.
Dr.Palutena
Member
I don't know, most online relationships involve actually meeting eventually, it may not be immediate but it's there, and it's not permanently infeasible much like it isn't with many long distance relationships. In these cases the last thing people need is someone telling them it's a waste of time or to be made fun of.
There is nothing about meeting someone online who is a long distance away from you that means you will never meet in person. People don't usually enter into a relationship with someone they've met online thinking "We will never meet, but I love them anyway!" That would be absurd. Usually a couple is working towards a time when they can meet and then eventually close the distance between them. It might not be something your friend talks about, but I'm sure he's thinking about it all the time.
D
Deleted member 74300
Unconfirmed Member
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I think you should man up and be your buddies girlfriend. don't be a wuss, take one for the team
EdibleKnife
Member
Tell him not to text/Facetime and drive and help him figure out a plan to save for a trip to the states.
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
OP you realise that you're denigrating a type of social interaction that about 90% of people think is normal, right? Don't be the "I just want my friend back" guy.
I wouldn't even compare the two situations. Read my clarification that's a few posts above yours.
Online social interactions in hopes of meeting someone in real life is normal, yes. But a strictly online SO is normal? News to me.
terrisus
Member
It's weird hearing so many people making comments like the one you had quoted - it makes it seem like we're still back in 1995 or something. One would think by 2014 we had all gotten over all of these assumptions and prejudices.
And my response to that would be pretty much the same as Lissar's.
Sectorseven
Member
Just make sure he knows she doesn't owe him an explanation.
Dr.Palutena
Member
You've labelled your friend's relationship something it most likely is not planned to be long term.
Collete
Member
Yeah, pretty much this.
Even though everyone have already said, nothing wrong with online relationships, but driving while face timing' is a bit too much. He can spend time with his girlfriend if he wants, but when it starts to put him in danger, you might want to talk about it with him.
The girlfriend sounds fine as far as I'm aware of though, so you don't need to keep making fun of him about that.
Also she is a real girlfriend. It doesn't matter if he met her online or not. People that are online aren't all a bunch of NPCs.
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
Has he told you he has no intention or interest in meeting up with her? 99% of online couples I've heard about want to either meet up, or do meet up. And if your friend wants to meet up, it's 100%.
EdibleKnife
Member
Seriously what's the difference though? He facetimes with her so obviously he knows she exists. All the lovey dovey-ness would just be more physical if they lived close to each other. From what you've written, the only thing that is different about this relationship than any other is simply distance.
Do you find it weird to have pen-pals in school and then meet that person later in life. (When I went to school sometimes we could have pen-pals to write to that lived in other countries.)
What's so different about meeting someone online, seeing them, talking to them, videochatting, etc and after trust and affection has build up going to see them? I mean, I don't understand why you're against it, really. To me, it seems smarter to meet someone online and get to know them overtime than just going to meet them after chatting for one week, though, if people want to be casual, I've no problem with that either...
If you have every intention to never make it a physical relationship.. that's definitely weird in the sense that most people don't desire it, and I could see it as related to something unhealthy.
But if you happen to meet someone online and fall for them.. at the very least there is a period where you try to figure out if the distance can be solved someday.
Considering they live in different countries they are certainly creating a barrier for the relationship to ever come to fruition, and if there are no realistic plans to change that.. I'd tend to agree.. they should try to end it and be friends. But if they are still figuring that aspect out, it's not really any different than people who go to different colleges, or go off to work in a foreign country for a timespan, etc.
terrisus
Member
Also, frankly, even if they never did plan on meeting in person (which is doubtful if they plan to have a relationship together, but just for the hypothetical), frankly...
So what? Who cares? So he has an online friend that he talks to? What's wrong with that?
Sure, eventually she might find someone else and then he would be upset - but the same thing can happen with an in-person relationship.
So what? Who cares? So he has an online friend that he talks to? What's wrong with that?
Sure, eventually she might find someone else and then he would be upset - but the same thing can happen with an in-person relationship.
EDIT: I actually wrote this before my last post, but it wouldn't post it for some reason and then decided to after I logged back it. So... yeah. Weird.
I don't understand why you're getting so hanged up on the online part.
Many people do it nowadays and in fact prefer it than going to bars or other places to meet people.
Also, when you meet new people offline, they're strangers until you well, get to know them. Same thing with online dating, except you can distance yourself and keep yourself safe until you feel that you're ready to meet them if you feel emotionally compatible and are attracted to said person.
In a lot of ways it makes more sense than the other way around, the major concerns being safety (but as I said, what's to stop people you just meet on the street from hurting you?) and preying on the young and mentally challenged.
As long as you're doing what you're doing responsibly and it isn't morally reprehensible, then so what?
Tell your friend to stop facetiming and texting while driving,though. That's some dumb shit.
I don't understand why you're getting so hanged up on the online part.
Many people do it nowadays and in fact prefer it than going to bars or other places to meet people.
Also, when you meet new people offline, they're strangers until you well, get to know them. Same thing with online dating, except you can distance yourself and keep yourself safe until you feel that you're ready to meet them if you feel emotionally compatible and are attracted to said person.
In a lot of ways it makes more sense than the other way around, the major concerns being safety (but as I said, what's to stop people you just meet on the street from hurting you?) and preying on the young and mentally challenged.
As long as you're doing what you're doing responsibly and it isn't morally reprehensible, then so what?
Tell your friend to stop facetiming and texting while driving,though. That's some dumb shit.
Where did I say I plan to break up his relationship? I came here to ask whether or not I should be worried if this type of thing is normal/healthy and so far the consensus appears to be "don't worry."
terrisus
Member
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
There's a family member I used to be very close with.
He started talking to this girl online 3-4 years ago. Now I hear they're in a relationship even tho they have never met and live in different continents.
He also purchased her a 3DS and PS4.
He's in his 20's now and it makes me sad thinking about it. Haven't met or spoken to him properly in around 2 years.
He started talking to this girl online 3-4 years ago. Now I hear they're in a relationship even tho they have never met and live in different continents.
He also purchased her a 3DS and PS4.
He's in his 20's now and it makes me sad thinking about it. Haven't met or spoken to him properly in around 2 years.
What I mean is -- the root of your issue seems to be that he is ignoring you and his other friends as well as his responsibilities in favor of this crush. I don't see any reason to think that this would change if he fell for someone local. Some people are just like that when they're in a relationship
btw, I went through a very similar mmo relationship when I was 21. It ended poorly and I'm embarrassed by the entire escapade, but that is a lesson he needs to learn on his own. Leave him be
Maybe legal to consent to sex, but if they met online, she is under the age of 18 and he could be prosecuted under "internet luring" laws.
Or he could not. Who knows. The thing with dealing with people under 18 is that it's pretty random if a cop decides to arrest you, if the crown decides to prosecute you etc.
Can a mod move this thread to gaming side? Thx.
It would be illegal in the US under federal age of consent laws too (though I don't think that should dictate whether or not the relationship is healthy)
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