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[OCD Guy]

No, I explained how you're confusing two things.

I did approach people and suggest they hold my phone/passport.
I did not get the chance to suggest we walk to a member of security.

So why did you say this:

Please, read.

I didn't get the chance to suggest these things.

Has I been able to get to the point where I asked for them to send a text, and they'd said no, I would have suggested that if it feels risky we could do the above.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with the suggestion.

On the one hand you're saying you didn't get a chance to mention any of "these things". Which imples more than one.

But then suddenly you've done two out of three.

Anyway to be honest it doesn't really matter. The issue many have is the fact that you can't seem to see why the things you think helped your cause actually done the complete opposite.

 

[Dr.Guru of Peru]

OP, you're thinking way too deeply about this. Most people only think about this for a few seconds, instantly recognise it as a likely scam, and walk on.

And honestly, who the hell walks around with their passport? That sounds more suspicious once you bring it up.

I used to give out change when I was younger, but now I rarely do. Way too many times you give someone money, only to see them back the very next day with the same sob story. A lot of them are nicely dressed too.

 

[Gravy Boat]

No, I explained how you're confusing two things.

I did approach people and suggest they hold my phone/passport.
I did not get the chance to suggest we walk to a member of security.

'I didn't get a chance to suggest these things' is what you said. Either you did or you didn't. Either way, it's weird that you think either of these options would somehow make people more inclined to take time out of their day to help you.

 

[Menchi]

I love how some posters are going along with the whole "treat others as you want to be treated" thing with this.

It completely ignores the very likely idea that most of the people saying scam have already been in this exact situation with the "articulate, well dressed, professional" who they helped only to come back the next day and see the same professional again asking for help. Want to know why the scammers do it so much? Because they're successful at it and looking like you're not "just a beggar" and the OPs very response to them, just shows how successful these "professionals" are.

I'll gladly do my very best HELP someone in need, whether they're injured, under verbal or physical attack or what other, clear and legitimate situations someone may be in. Someone asking for money, destitute or otherwise, just doesn't fill me with confidence.

 

[Zakalwe]

Don't play that card on a forum that's majority American. Public transport in London is aways "a nightmare" it was when I worked there and continues to be to this day. When are you going to realise that you are not a special little snowflake stomped on by heartless strangers and that your problem is caused by nieveity and lack of preparation and forward planning. Grow the fuck up, learn from it and don't end up in the same situation again.

I gues everything worked out becuse your posting on GAF now anyway.

I have no response for you. That's a really shit post.

Why didn't you walk to security in the first place?

The only thing I remember seeing from you is that "I was tired and not thinking".

Explained: I was exhausted, and not thinking. The entire thing happened in the space of 20 minutes (minus an hour of trying to get my card to work), and before I had to think of any more solutions the train guard let me through.

'I didn't get a chance to suggest these things' is what you said. Either you did or you didn't. Either way, it's weird that you think either of these options would somehow make people more inclined to take time out of their day to help you.

Context of the post. Look at the exact message I was responding to and you'll see how "these things" covers what it does and doesn't.

So why did you say this:



On the one hand you're saying you didn't get a chance to mention any of "these things".

But then suddenly you've done two out of three.

Anyway to be honest it doesn't really matter. The issue many have is the fact that you can't seem to see why the things you think helped your cause actually done the complete opposite.

Context "these things" being extended solutions to the feeling of risk.

My approach was this:

"Hey, I'm sorry to trouble you. I'm in a very tricky situation, I need someway to either contact a friend or pay for my travel home. Do you have a charger or phone I could use? I'd be willing for you to hold on to my own phone and passport while I did."

"Sorry, no."

*They start to walk off*

"Do you have £2 to spare then? With that I could get home"

"I said no, sorry"

If they'd given me the chance there were many ways I could have suggested a way they could help while lowering the risk to almost 0.

 

[br3wnor]

Your reactions in this thread have helped paint a picture of how you'd come off in person, and that's exactly the type of person most people are going to be reluctant to help out. As soon as someone gave a cursory no to your request you probably came off as super pushy and crazy, acting incredulous that someone was not letting a rich, well dressed, articulate white man do what he had asked.

That's not the best way to deal with people, nor is it a way to get what you want when you're in a position of desperation. If you'd have went to the cop after a few denials you would have saved yourself the headaches and wouldn't have needed to make this thread.

 

[CosmicQueso]

Alternate OP:

I've added the bolded and italicized. Can you notice some differences, OP?

I was saved last night by a train guard.

Last night I was in a tricky situation. I'd just completed a day of labouring helping a friend with a last minute job. I was exhausted after 8 hours of hard work in blistering sun, and looking forward to a shower and bed.

On my way home, I ran out of credit on my oyster card. I attempted to top-up, but my bank card wasn't being recognised (by the ATM nor the ticket machine). I had no cash on me, not enough to travel on my oyster, and my phone was dead...

These are are totally my fault, I can't believe what an idiot I was.

I asked a dozen people, every single person said "I have nothing" or variations of: "I'm sorry, I'm not falling for that old trick you must think I'm stupid".

I don't blame them, plenty of scammers out in the world.

Eventually, I found a train guard willing to let me through the barrier and take my chances. I made it home fine in the end.

I can't imagine what would have happened had that kind train guard not helped me out. I'm very thankful that people can be kind enough to risk their jobs to help a stranger when that stranger has been really irresponsible and made some dumb mistakes.

I'll be a better person in the future and help someone else out like this kind train guard helped me last night.

How would you have reacted?

Take some personal fucking responsibility for how you fucked up and be appreciative for what good there is in the world.

 

[Gravy Boat]

You thought giving a stranger your passport was a better idea than speaking to the police, yet somehow other people are the ones incapable of assessing your situation correctly?

 

[Chinese Cartoons]

Both my parents are super helpful and their hospitality to others no matter who they are is top notch, I am similar to them but I to be honest 80 percent of it ends up with people abusing it once they think they can get away with it.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I have no response for you. That's a really shit post.

Well, that's no surprise as that's pretty much what you have been doing this whole topic of ignoring people telling you why your expectations are unrealistic.

 

[IISANDERII]

Sorry OP, but anyone that I don't know asks me money, I always say an excuse like I don't any cent with me.

Thing is, these days one need to be cautious. Don't want to be robbed.

Yup, getting robbed is a new phenomenon

 

[TheSpoiler]

I have no response for you. That's a really shit post.

Explained: I was exhausted, and not thinking. The entire thing happened in the space of 20 minutes (minus an hour of trying to get my card to work), and before I had to think of any more solutions the train guard let me through.

Okay. Previously, you said that the explanation to that lack of solution "would make sense". No, that doesn't make sense. In fact, that's not really an excuse nor does it make you forgiven for not taking something that could have easily fixed your solution into your "low risk high risk" calculations.

It's that lack of self awareness that people have a problem with, and really makes it hard to trust parts of your story. Among other things, of course.

 

[Zakalwe]

Okay. Previously, you said that the explanation to that lack of solution "would make sense". No, that doesn't make sense. In fact, that's not really an excuse nor does it make you forgiven for not taking something that could have easily fixed your solution into your "low risk high risk" calculations.

It's that lack of self awareness that people have a problem with, and really makes it hard to trust parts of your story. Among other things, of course.

So you're honestly saying you've never been so tired you overlooked an obvious solution to a problem?

I wish I had that super power.

Well, that's no surprise as that's pretty much what you have been doing this whole topic of ignoring people telling you why your expectations are unrealistic.

No I haven't, I've directly reasoned why I think what I do and, many times, the conversation has stopped there.

Please though, feel free to show me something you think I've ignored and I'll point out a response to it, or if I did overlook it I'll attempt to give one.

Alternate OP:

I've added the bolded and italicized. Can you notice some differences, OP?



Take some personal fucking responsibility for how you fucked up and be appreciative for what good there is in the world.

This is utterly irrelevant. Of course I appreciate what the train guard did, but this thread is specifically about the responses people gave me when I requested help.

Also my bank card failing was out of my control, and I could have been more prepared of course, but we all make mistakes. You're only an idiot if you repeat them without learning.

In your rush to post something funny you overlooked the obvious.

 

[Nevasleep]

Yeah I've had bad experiences with people asking for money, don't help anyone now.

 

[TheSpoiler]

So you're honestly saying you've never been so tired you overlooked an obvious solution to a problem?

I wish I had that super power.

I never said that. Of course I have. But I at least have the hindsight to look back and say "man, I should have did that thing instead of the other thing". Unlike you, who sees fit to blame everyone else for your problems instead of yourself.

So, before you backtrack again, no, it's not an excuse that makes sense. It's a solution you could have taken, and your lack of self awareness is blocking you from admitting that.

You are a treasure.

 

[Gravy Boat]

No I haven't, I've directly reasoned why I think what I do and, many times, the conversation has stopped there.

Please though, feel free to show me something you think I've ignored and I'll point out a response to it, or if I did overlook it I'll attempt to give one.

How about this one?

You thought giving a stranger your passport was a better idea than speaking to the police, yet somehow other people are the ones incapable of assessing your situation correctly?

 

[dreamcastmaster]

OP you are a massive bellend with a lack of self awareness. I'm going to bed now, in the morning there will be one of three likely follow ups, Mandrake summary, Sunhii Legend GIF or a locked thread. Good night.

 

[Zakalwe]

How about this one?

I've already answered that....

I was exhausted and I overlooked the obvious. You have never done this in your life? Especially in a stressful situation?

I never said that. Of course I have. But I at least have the hindsight to look back and say "man, I should have did that thing instead of the other thing". Unlike you, who sees fit to blame everyone else for your problems instead of yourself.

So, before you backtrack again, no, it's not an excuse that makes sense. It's a solution you could have taken, and your lack of self awareness is blocking you from admitting that.

You are a treasure.

TheSpoiler

" Haha, you were tired and overlooked an obvious solution Even though this is a very common thing, especially in a situation that's stressful, I'm going to ignore that and continue to attack the OP's character and level veiled insults."

OP you are a massive bellend with a lack of self awareness. I'm going to bed now, in the morning there will be one of three likely follow ups, Mandrake summary, Sunhii Legend GIF or a locked thread. Good night.

And you're jumping in with the herd to kick a person while they're being pilled on. That makes you worse, by a long way.

Feel free to tag me, ban me, ridicule me with gifs or whatever you guys want to do. I fully stand by everything I've written, and I truly think some of you are shitty people for the way you've handled this thread.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

I never said that. Of course I have. But I at least have the hindsight to look back and say "man, I should have did that thing instead of the other thing". Unlike you, who sees fit to blame everyone else for your problems instead of yourself.

So, before you backtrack again, no, it's not an excuse that makes sense. It's a solution you could have taken, and your lack of self awareness is blocking you from admitting that.

You are a treasure.

This. The problem isn't other people not being willing to help. The problem is this.

I've already answered that....

I was exhausted and I overlooked the obvious. You have never done this in your life? Especially in a stressful situation?



TheSpoiler

" Haha, you were tired and overlooked an obvious solution Even though this is a very common thing, especially in a situation that's stressful, I'm going to ignore that and continue to attack the OP's character and level veiled insults."

Ok, so if you made that mistake and admit it why are you droning on and on about insisting that you should be able to convince strangers that you're totally trustworthy?

 

[FreeMufasa]

Lol this thread is the best. OP you're one of my favorite posters. I can't believe someone lacks this much awareness. Rofl

GAF, this is the same dude that got hustled twice by roommates and then boxed by another for being pushy.

 

[CosmicQueso]

This is utterly irrelevant. Of course I appreciate what the train guard did, but this thread is specifically about the responses people gave me when I requested help.

No. It's absolutely relevant. Your rush to blame the world for your problems blinded you to what was a very kind gesture.

That train guard helping you is a response a person gave you when you requested help.

But you're so intent on looking at the negative and to have a pity party when millions of people have things far worse than your being inconvenienced getting home that you can't see the good right in front of you.

I pity you. Not because of your situation. But rather because of what a small, negative mind you have.

In your rush to post something funny you overlooked the obvious.

There was nothing funny about it. It is a positive re-frame for your unnecessarily negative and woe-is-me OP.

 

[TheSpoiler]

I've already answered that....

I was exhausted and I overlooked the obvious. You have never done this in your life? Especially in a stressful situation?



TheSpoiler

" Haha, you were tired and overlooked an obvious solution Even though this is a very common thing, especially in a situation that's stressful, I'm going to ignore that and continue to attack the OP's character and level veiled insults."



And you're jumping in with the herd to kick a person while they're being pilled on. That makes you worse, by a long way.

Feel free to tag me, ban me, ridicule me with gifs or whatever you guys want to do. I fully stand by everything I've written, and I truly think some of you are shitty people for the way you've handled this thread.

Yeah, we were the ones who handled it terribly.

 

[Zakalwe]

Yeah, we were the ones who handled it terribly.

I have no idea whay you're doing what you're doing. I'm done discussing this with you though.

No. It's absolutely relevant. Your rush to blame the world for your problems blinded you to what was a very kind gesture.

That train guard helping you is a response a person gave you when you requested help.

But you're so intent on looking at the negative and to have a pity party when millions of people have things far worse than your being inconvenienced getting home that you can't see the good right in front of you.

I pity you. Not because of your situation. But rather because of what a small, negative mind you have.


There was nothing funny about it. It is a positive re-frame for your unnecessarily negative and woe-is-me OP.

Wow. I honestly don't know what to say to this.

At this point I'm actually getting upset at some of these responses. I'm going to request a lock.

Feel free to continue to pile on me.

 

[lewisgone]

At a train station most people are gonna have places they need to be. When you start mentioning chargers and holding passports and whatever it sounds like a lot of effort for what is quite a minor issue. A lot of effort to invest in something that could result in your phone getting stolen or other similar scenarios.

Also, scammers don't all look like drug addicts. If the person is presentable or not is hardly the only thing I care about if I'm deciding whether or not to help somebody out.

 

[CosmicQueso]

I'm going to request a lock.

Feel free to continue to pile on me.

If you think this is piling on you, don't know what to tell you.

You can choose to look at this world negatively and see the bad in everything, or you can try to find the kindness and beauty in it.

This is the takeaway I'd hope you walk away from this with.

I'm guessing it won't be.

 

[Gravy Boat]

I've already answered that....

I was exhausted and I overlooked the obvious. You have never done this in your life? Especially in a stressful situation?

Everyone has. But what you're doing is partially blaming your situation on the fact that strangers wouldn't take the time to assess your 'low risk' scenarios, when you wouldn't even take the time to assess what the most blatantly obvious solution would be.

How do you know these people also didn't have stressful days and didn't want to get involved with other people's problems? What gives you the right to judge them without knowing their situation? Why should they make effort to help you when you're not doing the most obvious thing to help yourself? Why would anyone trust a guy willing to hand over his passport to borrow a phone when there's clearly a better alternative? Your whole story is a mess and this could easily be forgiven, but instead you're ignoring 6 pages of people explaining why you're in the wrong to double down on this idea that anyone who didn't take the time to listen to you is a jerk.

 

[Dali]

In your rush to post something funny you overlooked the obvious.

I thought it was a fair evaluation of the real situation. Like I said in my first post I disagree with your thesis statement that people are generally unhelpful. You were behaving like a scammer and come to this conclusion? People are generally helpful but they, for the most part, aren't going to look at a common situation (like a stranger approaching them late at night) any differently, no matter what fragrance the panhandler is wearing.

 

[TheSpoiler]

Poor OP. Didn't get the confirmation from GAF like he deserved and now is driven to lock the thread.

He was just a low risk dude trying to get home.

 

[OCD Guy]

My approach was this:

"Hey, I'm sorry to trouble you. I'm in a very tricky situation, I need someway to either contact a friend or pay for my travel home. Do you have a charger or phone I could use? I'd be willing for you to hold on to my own phone and passport while I did."

"Sorry, no."

*They start to walk off*

"Do you have £2 to spare then? With that I could get home"

"I said no, sorry"

If they'd given me the chance there were many ways I could have suggested a way they could help while lowering the risk to almost 0.

I want to make sure I understand. When they walked off did you then start asking them for £2? Or was that a different approach you used on the next person?

The "Do you have £2 to spare then?" makes it appear that you're defintely then still asking someone something even though they've walked off, and you don't see anything wrong with that, or how it could appear pushy?

If the person has shown they aren't interested in helping, then proceeding to then ask them for something else is certainly not going to be productive.

I understand that from your point of view you don't see anything wrong with what you're doing, but it just doesn't come across as great to me.

Infact if someone asked me something, and then proceeded to ask me something else when I made it clear I was unable to help it would make me feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

Also was it men or women you approached? I'd imagine a woman would feel very uncomfortable.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

I have no idea whay you're doing what you're doing. I'm done discussing this with you though.



Wow. I honestly don't know what to say to this.

At this point I'm actually getting upset at some of these responses. I'm going to request a lock.

Feel free to continue to pile on me.

It's only a pile on because you've been so stubborn with people here all telling you the same thing. Instead of taking time to contemplate their perspective you just double down. You should know the double down never works. You have only you to blame. Now you wanna take your ball and go home? Fine, but remember to bring fare for the ride this time.

 

[Already Torn]

I'm starting to understand why nobody wanted to help OP. Maybe he looks like the kind of person who makes posts like this.

 

[TheSpoiler]

I'm starting to understand why nobody wanted to help OP. Maybe he looks like the kind of person who makes posts like this.

Based on this thread, I'm beginning to there's a big discrepancy between what happened in OP's story and the actual story.

 

[ModBot]

Ask and ye shall receive.