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Please help me understand sex.

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It doesn't bother me, however if it was due to a medical problem that could be fixed I would try to fix myself. That said, I truly don't think that's the case.

If you wanted it is pretty easy to get a hormone panel done and self diagnose. Don't even need a doctor to order the test. Doctors didn't believe I had a problem so I got my own blood testing done.
 
I don't think because it began at puberty, it rules out hormonal problems. However, he seems fine with it and doesn't seem to care so I don't see what the big deal is.

Lack of testosterone (since the OP is male) would explain lack of interest in sex. But lack of it would cause bunch of other issues, no? Would be visible probably. Or noticed by doctor or something.
Well, as far as i know anyway, absolutely not an expert when it comes to hormone stuff.

Don't doubt of existence of asexuality. Or other "non-standard" (ie other than bi-, homo- or heterosexuality) sexual orientations. There are some.
 
It doesn't bother me, however if it was due to a medical problem that could be fixed I would try to fix myself. That said, I truly don't think that's the case.

It could be medical but since you have always had it then I'm not sure but it is worth checking out. I'm seeing a doctor at the moment to deal with it and he said it could be cured with time possibly and to rule many issues out. I feel the same way you do but mine wasn't always there since I can remember. I used to be fine a few years ago, so mine is different to you.
 
It feels good.

What other explanation is necessary?

If that's the only answer then why do so many people have such a hard time controlling it. It can and does lead to so many problems. (It also leads to good things, I'm aware of that)
 
Plus I'm not reading the whole thread becauseim 100% convinced the last thread I read that was started by him was a troll.
Then perhaps you should refrain from commenting either. Or reading. Why bother if you've already decided that this isn't serious?
 
If that's the only answer then why do so many people have such a hard time controlling it. It can and does lead to so many problems. (It also leads to good things, I'm aware of that)

It's not the only answer, many people in this thread don't seem to understand where you are coming from. It's an urge people have, if you lack that feeling, like myself then you won't understand it. I used to feel that way in the past so I know what that feeling was like, if that makes sense but since you've never felt it, you wouldn't understand.
 
If that's the only answer then why do so many people have such a hard time controlling it. It can and does lead to so many problems. (It also leads to good things, I'm aware of that)

I just told you.

It feels good.

People become addicted to things that feel good.
 
Explaining sexual attraction is fine.
Making assumptions about existence of asexuality, or of its nature is not. Especially since those seem to be always "you've got problems, dude, you ain't normal for not wanting sex"

Agreed. But openly admitting not feeling it or getting it at all yet still unable to let the question go is quite... contradictory.

I'm settling with stealth trolling in this case.
 
Explaining sexual attraction is fine.
Making assumptions about existence of asexuality, or of its nature is not. Especially since those seem to be always "you've got problems, dude, you ain't normal for not wanting sex"

Sorry, we're not evolved to the point where we can just clone new people or something. We don't reproduce asexually, and I'm pretty sure technically if you've ever even had a friend (or maybe even interacted with anybody) you're sexually attracted to them, just very low on the spectrum. People who are "asexual" just have problems. You can't not instinctively feel the urge to reproduce ever, and if that was ever a real thing, how is that normal?


This guy trying to get away with whatever he can without giving away too much. He got a 400 reply thread or whatever, and his post history is riddled with shit like that.


Let me guess, you drew your own avatar too?
 
It's very possible to be asexual, either due to hormone imbalance or brain chemistry. But asking to explain why they enjoy sex and that you "don't get it" is fairly pointless. It all comes down to our genetic/evolutionary drive to procreate, the chemicals in our bodies demanding it, and it feeling fantastic.

Any legit answers people come up with is just met with more confusion/questions by the OP. This seems like a troll thread, but eh.

Also, you can go through periods of your life where sex is uninteresting, it happens. Hopefully you went to see at least a few professionals before proclaiming yourself asexual, as being asexual will bring about quite a unique and different lifestyle.

Agreed. But openly admitting not feeling it or getting it at all yet still unable to let the question go is quite... contradictory.

I'm settling with stealth trolling in this case.

Agreed.
 
Seriously, see a doctor if you haven't already. Lack of sex drive can be indicative of larger health issues.
 
Sorry, we're not evolved to the point where we can just clone new people or something. We don't reproduce asexually, and I'm pretty sure technically if you've ever even had a friend (or maybe even interacted with anybody) you're sexually attracted to them, just very low on the spectrum. People who are "asexual" just have problems. You can't not instinctively feel the urge to reproduce ever, and if that was ever a real thing, how is that normal?


This guy trying to get away with whatever he can without giving away too much. He got a 400 reply thread or whatever.

People use this crap against gays and it's bullshit.

Plus how many straight people are fucking to have kids at any given time?
 
If people really think I'm trolling then that makes me sad. Asexuality does exist and wanting some info from people on something I don't understand isn't a reason to claim I'm lying.

I'm just trying to better myself and understand something I don't inherently understand. Just like when I was confused with transgendered people, I didn't claim they were messing with me, I did research into the topic to try and understand it.
 
Sorry, we're not evolved to the point where we can just clone new people or something. We don't reproduce asexually, and I'm pretty sure technically if you've ever even had a friend (or maybe even interacted with anybody) you're sexually attracted to them, just very low on the spectrum. People who are "asexual" just have problems. You can't not instinctively feel the urge to reproduce ever, and if that was ever a real thing, how is that normal?


This guy trying to get away with whatever he can without giving away too much. He got a 400 reply thread or whatever, and his post history is riddled with shit like that.


Let me guess, you drew your own avatar too?

lol
 
Agreed. But openly admitting not felling it or getting it at all yet still unable to let the question go is quite... contradictory.

I'm settling with stealth trolling in this case.

How is it contradictory?
One can be curious about something even if they can't feel or "get it".
I am.
Weakish analogue:
I'm interested in religion and religious experiences, despite me being more or less atheist. I don't get or understand religion really, but that doesn't prevent me from being curious about it.
Contradictory?
 
Sorry, we're not evolved to the point where we can just clone new people or something. We don't reproduce asexually, and I'm pretty sure technically if you've ever even had a friend (or maybe even interacted with anybody) you're sexually attracted to them, just very low on the spectrum. People who are "asexual" just have problems. You can't not instinctively feel the urge to reproduce ever, and if that was ever a real thing, how is that normal?

The way some people's brains fire off certain chemicals when they see men, women, cars, animals, nature, etc. can be wildly different (and not even tied to gender as seen in homosexuality, bisexuality, etc). Some people don't have any chemical reaction to the concept of sex. That's it.
 
If people really think I'm trolling then that makes me sad. Asexuality does exist and wanting some info from people on something I don't understand isn't a reason to claim I'm lying.

I'm just trying to better myself and understand something I don't inherently understand. Just like when I was confused with transgendered people, I didn't claim they were messing with me, I did research into the topic to try and understand it.

It might not be trolling but you're asking us to explain to you a phenomenon that you can't apparently feel for yourself. Somethings just have to be experienced to come to a real understanding of the point.
 
It's very possible to be asexual, either due to hormone imbalance or brain chemistry. But asking to explain why they enjoy sex and that you "don't get it" is fairly pointless. It all comes down to our genetic/evolutionary drive to procreate, the chemicals in our bodies demanding it, and it feeling fantastic.

Any legit answers people come up with is just met with more confusion/questions by the OP. This seems like a troll thread, but eh.

Also, you can go through periods of your life where sex is uninteresting, it happens. Hopefully you went to see at least a few professionals before proclaiming yourself asexual, as being asexual will bring about quite a unique and different lifestyle.



Agreed.

I do see professionals. I have been through quite a few doctors/therapists due to my OCD. This stuff comes up and I have been diagnosed (Both with OCD and asexuality).

It might not be trolling but you're asking us to explain to you a phenomenon that you can't apparently feel for yourself. Somethings just have to be experienced to come to a real understanding of the point.

Maybe it's not coming across as such, but I appreciate all the answers I've been getting so far and it is helping me understand. I am getting insight into something that is foreign to me and I am very happy about that.
 
If people really think I'm trolling then that makes me sad. Asexuality does exist and wanting some info from people on something I don't understand isn't a reason to claim I'm lying.

I'm just trying to better myself and understand something I don't inherently understand. Just like when I was confused with transgendered people, I didn't claim they were messing with me, I did research into the topic to try and understand it.

Even if you were trolling, this is still an interesting topic—I am really enjoying it—and leaves room for a lot of interesting discussion. It is kind of a shame that people keep trying to twist things negatively.
 
Lack of testosterone (since the OP is male) would explain lack of interest in sex. But lack of it would cause bunch of other issues, no? Would be visible probably. Or noticed by doctor or something.
Well, as far as i know anyway, absolutely not an expert when it comes to hormone stuff.

Don't doubt of existence of asexuality. Or other "non-standard" (ie other than bi-, homo- or heterosexuality) sexual orientations. There are some.

It's probable there would be other issues, I had a testosterone problem without a sexual problem so it can show up in many ways. It honestly sounds like he may just be one of those rare people that doesnt care about sex and doesnt care that he doesnt care about it. good for him, maybe he'll have more time to cure cancer or something. srs.

Also I'm not accusing him of trolling here but he is suspect based on past threads. It is interesting this time at least.
 
You just said you lacked knowledge on the subject and that you couldn't understand (sound familiar?), and now you're considering it trolling?

The reason why is because if he truly is asexual, why would he keep on fishing for people's opinion of it? Is he trying to understand why it's desireable? If there's something wrong with him? How people go about obtaining it? No.

All there is him saying that he doesn't get why people go through trouble to get it. What's the point asking that if it's pretty obvious?

I do see professionals. I have been through quite a few doctors/therapists due to my OCD. This stuff comes up and I have been diagnosed (Both with OCD and asexuality).

Strange... The two people I know that said they were "asexual" had OCD, the doctor-assessed kind. I want to ask an open-ended question to see if I can just picture my old friends to get an image of you.

Have you pondered your sexuality (gay or straight) openly and was convinced for a short period you were gay just before believing you were asexual? How old were you when you had sex?
 
i think its biological like wanting food

when you get either its rewarding

i think sex is much more rewarding tho since its not as accessible as a cheesebarga
 
It's probable there would be other issues, I had a testosterone problem without a sexual problem so it can show up in many ways. It honestly sounds like he may just be one of those rare people that doesnt care about sex and doesnt care that he doesnt care about it. good for him, maybe he'll have more time to cure cancer or something. srs.

I majored in physics and math, not biology, sorry.

Honestly though, which thread were you talking about before, I am curious. Regardless of your answer, you should check out the side effects of both OCD and the SSRI medication often used to treat it. It might give you the answers your looking for. They really do mess with your head.
 
It's probable there would be other issues, I had a testosterone problem without a sexual problem so it can show up in many ways. It honestly sounds like he may just be one of those rare people that doesnt care about sex and doesnt care that he doesnt care about it. good for him, maybe he'll have more time to cure cancer or something. srs.

It is called asexuality.
And yes, it is rare. IIRC, studies seem to place amount of asexuals to 1% of population. EDIT actually, that isn't really that rare... one in hundred asexual? Yeah, not rare. IMO. Dunno what's official definition of rare.

And your last point is interesting, perhaps that is function of asexuality, to provide people who can work without distraction?
Eh, just a random idea, doubt that's the case. Too specific.
 
Sorry, we're not evolved to the point where we can just clone new people or something. We don't reproduce asexually, and I'm pretty sure technically if you've ever even had a friend (or maybe even interacted with anybody) you're sexually attracted to them, just very low on the spectrum. People who are "asexual" just have problems. You can't not instinctively feel the urge to reproduce ever, and if that was ever a real thing, how is that normal?
Asexuality is a thing.

This reads like a reaction from people who can't believe that gay people exist.
 
How is it contradictory?
One can be curious about something even if they can't feel or "get it".
I am.
Weakish analogue:
I'm interested in religion and religious experiences, despite me being more or less atheist. I don't get or understand religion really, but that doesn't prevent me from being curious about it.
Contradictory?

Ok let me explain it differently: OP wants other peoples perspective on the matter but answers with his own point of view.

I and some other folks already got it, he doesn't 'feel' it.
But to understand other point of views you have to more or less detach from yours.

OP doesn't do it and that's the contradiction... or maybe he's just lacking imagination.
 
The reason why is because if he truly is asexual, why would he keep on fishing for people's opinion of it? Is he trying to understand why it's desireable? If there's something wrong with him? How people go about obtaining it? No.

All there is him saying that he doesn't get why people go through trouble to get it. What's the point asking that if it's pretty obvious?
If I were asexual, understanding how other people are sexual (and how I was not) would be one of the defining questions of my life. It's an obvious thread, really.
 
I have more sex than McDonald's has cheeseburgers

in my dreams

Well clearly you are talking about that dream thread I made. Seriously, SSRI's mess with dreams like you wouldn't imagine. My doctor said what I went through was a manic episode because of the meds.

Here is what Wikipedia says about SSRIs:

"Almost all SSRIs are known to cause one or more of these symptoms:...insomnia and/or changes in sleep,extremely vivid or strange dreams, mania, cognitive disorders, etc."

It also lists plenty of sexual side effects however I have not noticed any changes in this aspect since starting to take the medication.
 
Maybe it's not coming across as such, but I appreciate all the answers I've been getting so far and it is helping me understand. I am getting insight into something that is foreign to me and I am very happy about that.

Well most people do it because it feels good. Then there are people who do it for money, for exhibition, for others and lastly to actually have kids.

Then there comes benefits such as strengthening the bond and intimacy between two people in a relationship.

Or the opposite if it's done with another person outside of the relationship. And even this isn't universal.

What defies explanation however is what it means to each person individually and how they feel about it. There's a whole spectrum to the idea of sex just as there is with sexuality.
 
It is a thing but is it normal or is it caused by an underlying physical or psychological issue?

Definitely not a normal "random chance genetic" thing. There are a bunch of things chemically and psychologically that could cause lack of sex-drive, but it's a problem with may other issues attached.
 
Ok let me explain it differently: OP wants other peoples perspective on the matter but answers with his own point of view.

I and some other folks already got it, he doesn't 'feel' it.
But to understand other point of views you have to more or less detach from yours.

OP doesn't do it and that's the contradiction... or maybe he's just lacking imagination.

The answers I've been getting have been great. I do appreciate them all. Detaching myself from my point of view is indeed difficult but I'm trying.
 
It is a thing but is it normal or is it caused by an underlying physical or psychological issue?

This makes me wonder how sensitive the issue of asexuality is. Replace the context of your post with "homosexuality" and it would rile up a lot of people, but it seems to be less of a problem if it's asexuality.
 
It is a thing but is it normal or is it caused by an underlying physical or psychological issue?

Unknown. Needs more studying.
However, since there is such thing as homosexuality (which seems to be fully natural, not caused by psychological issues etc.), it is not a big stretch to assume there could be "no orientation", ie asexualty.
That is my understanding anyway.
 
Well clearly you are talking about that dream thread I made. Seriously, SSRI's mess with dreams like you wouldn't imagine. My doctor said what I went through was a manic episode because of the meds.

Here is what Wikipedia says about SSRIs:

"Almost all SSRIs are known to cause one or more of these symptoms:...insomnia and/or changes in sleep,extremely vivid or strange dreams, mania, cognitive disorders, etc."

It also lists plenty of sexual side effects however I have not noticed any changes in this aspect since starting to take the medication.

Ok yes, I remember, it was the dream thread. Sorry if you weren't trolling I just find it hard to believe you could be aware you were dreaming and still care so much afterwards but I'll take your word for it. I'm not trying to be hostile or anything.
 
Unknown. Needs more studying.
However, since there is such thing as homosexuality (which seems to be fully natural, not caused by psychological issues etc.), it is not a big stretch to assume there could be "no orientation", ie asexualty.
That is my understanding anyway.

That's what my doctor told me. Makes sense to me, but I agree further study would be nice. That said, I don't mind if they focus on studying more important things first.
 
Ok let me explain it differently: OP wants other peoples perspective on the matter but answers with his own point of view.

I and some other folks already got it, he doesn't 'feel' it.
But to understand other point of views you have to more or less detach from yours.

OP doesn't do it and that's the contradiction... or maybe he's just lacking imagination.

Detaching oneself from your own view point is very hard.
Most people never even try.

That's what my doctor told me. Makes sense to me, but I agree further study would be nice. That said, I don't mind if they focus on studying more important things first.

Well, if someone is studying sexuality and sexual orientation, asexuality is certainly a good thing to study. You know, something for comparison.
And if studying sexuality is important, then studying asexuality is as well.
Because neither is going to have that big impact in the world. That's my cynical side speaking.
 
This makes me wonder how sensitive the issue of asexuality is. Replace the context of your post with "homosexuality" and it would rile up a lot of people, but it seems to be less of a problem if it's asexuality.

The fact that they can be two completely separate things probably doesn't hurt though.
 
If I were asexual, understanding how other people are sexual (and how I was not) would be one of the defining questions of my life. It's an obvious thread, really.

But that's the thing. Understanding why is simple -- we like it, we want it, we desire it. It's a recurring thing that doesn't get boring because it has many dimensions of possibility inside.

I guess the only thing I can do to help if this isn't a troll thread is if the OP ever knows what it's like to be in the mood and then masturbate. It's impossible to mastubate unless you're in the mood, and right after for a brief moment it becomes impossible to continue. Despite that, normally, I suppose, a person would still be appreciative of the event. OP's claim would suggest a complete "whatever" feeling to the point that he would never have sex or masturbate.

Or am I completely misunderstanding what he's asking?
 
It is a thing but is it normal or is it caused by an underlying physical or psychological issue?
That's an important question to ask, scientifically, but I hope it's not used to dispute the validity of asexuality as a real condition.

You could ask the same of homosexuality..
 
Ok yes, I remember, it was the dream thread. Sorry if you weren't trolling I just find it hard to believe you could be aware you were dreaming and still care so much afterwards but I'll take your word for it. I'm not trying to be hostile or anything.

No harm done. Out of curiosity, have you ever taken any SSRI type meds? My dreams every night have become the most realistic and vivid things imaginable, and that's just one of the side effects. I almost enjoy that aspect, but it can lead to issues like that manic episode.

The meds do work very well for my OCD though, the change is like night and day. My OCD issue was with checking and I've noticed an incredible decrease in this regard.
 
Are you saying homosexuality is also a disease?


Yes that's exactly what I said. Wasn't it plain as day. Give me a fucking break.

If you can't see the difference between me asking if it is natural to have no desire as opposed to either a hetero or homosexual one then I think your mind is to small to continue discussing this with.

Heterosexuals and homosexuals both desire sex. We know that is a natural state. My question was if asexuality is known to be caused by an underlying condition.

How you could twist it to your fucked up interpretation isn't my problem.
 
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