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Pro Tips for Life

You can link to a particular location in a youtube video by adding #t=00m00s to the end of the url, where you replace the zeroes with the time you want.
 
SapientWolf said:
You can link to a particular location in a youtube video by adding #t=00m00s to the end of the url, where you replace the zeroes with the time you want.
Where were you 2 weeks ago?

I figured this out though, took me a while to track it down.
 
I finally found the site that has TONS of awesome protips: http://www.tradetricks.org/

It's full of user submitted tricks for whatever their profession is.

Examples:
Beer Vendor

When serving alcohol, card every woman who looks like she's in her 30's or 40's. They will to tip better.
Socialite

If you are unable to remember someone's first name, simply ask them: "What's your name?" When they reply with their first name, laugh and say "Oh no, I knew that, of course. I meant your last name". This is a much more acceptable thing to forget--and you still get their full name.
Triathlete

If you need to put on a wetsuit in a hurry, bring along a plastic grocery bag. Put your foot in the bag before puttign it through the wetsuit: the frictionless plastic will allow your foot and lower calf to slide through quickly.
Auto Mechanic

You can use a golfing tee to plug a fuel line when changing a vehicle's fuel filter.
 
Protip:

Picking up girls at a club:

1. Don't wait until you're in the club. Find an opportunity while in line outside, to do some quick ice breakers. "Is this the line-up?" "wow, this line-up sure is taking a while. you come to this club often? Is it like this all the time?"

You can easily spot personality types, reactions, and hotness factor in better light, and a quieter environment this way, and when you re-introduce yourself in the club, the girls won't feel as intimidated since they already met you outside.

2. Make the bartender your friend. You won't have to wait long to buy a girl a drink that way. Do so early in the night by tipping the bartender decent, but make sure he actually sees you tip him by personally thanking him. Take the opportunity to get his name too. DO NOT make idle conversation with the bartender. He's not your target.

3. Girls notice the guys that are taken. Don't hesitate to talk to girls who seem easy to talk to, or just simply want to chat rather than flirt. It can set you up for better opportunities with other girls. You can easily end your conversations with things like "It was nice meeting you, I'm going to go dance/get another drink/go to the bathroom." anyway.
 
If you have trouble remembering something, use a mnemonic. One really effective way to remember long lists is to remember an interesting picture with all the things in the list in it. For example, if you have to pick up chicken, bread and sunscreen imagine a chicken sunbathing with bread over its eyes.

If you have to reheat pizza use the oven, not the microwave.
 
Don't waste time with girls that don't give a fuck about you. Not even a second. If you are thinking about one now......STOP.
 
Easy_G said:
I finally found the site that has TONS of awesome protips: http://www.tradetricks.org/

It's full of user submitted tricks for whatever their profession is.

Examples:

Counterfeiter

Fill a garbage can with water; add a bottle of Creme de Menthe and half a bottle of India ink. Soak your newly counterfeited bills in this concoction and dry them with an electric fan. They will look as though they have been in circulation for years.

:lol :lol Good to know.
 
When you want to peel off price tags (like for gifts), labels, tape, stickers or anything like that off an object in a way that doesn't leave marks, it helps to heat it up a bit first to make the glue less likely to break apart. A hair dryer is best, but even holding it for a while to warm it with your hands helps. Once it's warm, peel it off slowly and gently.

Employers: avoid hiring unlucky people by randomly throwing half of all job applications you receive into the trash.
:lol Don't everyone do this, though. I'd never find a job.
 
Your razor blades will last longer if you keep them permanately in a small cup of vodka. It disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
 
Gouty said:
If you’re coughing, raise your arms above your head.

If you’re hiccupping, take in as much air into your lungs as humanly possible. I mean keep sucking for air well after it hurts and you’re making strange little gasping sounds. Then hold it until you’re about to pass out. They should be gone but every now and again you might have to repeat that process.

On hiccups, here's an even better solution. If you have any peanut butter handy (sans salmonella), just eat a spoonful.

It's like magic - something to do with the act of swallowing it.
 
NH Apache said:
Offtopic: I would say that asthma is more casused by smoking during pregnancy/early months than cleanliness.
I played sports pretty hardcore my whole life: hockey, soccer, football, lax, and others. Only once, during hockey season, did I get in such crazy shape I over came asthma. I think it is possible to beat it by getting in shape, but I think that the crazy fitness percentage needed is irrational at best.
I can almost second this. My parents smoked in the house when I was young and both kids developed the condition. I never shook it until I went to high school and started riding my bike about two miles to school each day. Now that I am lethargic as fuck and have been for years, it comes back from time to time. I'm also a smoker too... but there's no way that would influence it. No way. Not a chance.
 
Lateraleye said:
I can almost second this. My parents smoked in the house when I was young and both kids developed the condition. I never shook it until I went to high school and started riding my bike about two miles to school each day. Now that I am lethargic as fuck and have been for years, it comes back from time to time. I'm also a smoker too... but there's no way that would influence it. No way. Not a chance.

No one in my family smoked, not even any of my aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc. We found out about my exercise-induced asthma when I was about 7, and I'm the only one in my extended family that ever developed it.

Luckily I have my asthma under control. It doesn't seem to bother me as long as I stay in shape, and I haven't had an attack in around 10 years (I'm 26 now).
 
Javaman said:
Counterfeiter

Fill a garbage can with water; add a bottle of Creme de Menthe and half a bottle of India ink. Soak your newly counterfeited bills in this concoction and dry them with an electric fan. They will look as though they have been in circulation for years.

:lol :lol Good to know.

:lol :lol
 
whitehawk said:
Dont do drugs other than weed and alcohol.

cookie_monster226.png


:lol :lol at the counterfeiting thing.
 
Apparently, a lot of people have trouble opening those hard plastic packages that they use a lot in retail. But there's an easy way to open them. Just take some scissors and cut around the edges and separate the front and back pieces. You should then have easy access to whatever is inside. And if you have to return the item the box will still appear to be in perfect condition.
 
Protip: When trying to buy a hard to obtain item, instead of going to every store in your area looking for it, go through the store locator on the website, and call each of them up to see if they have it in stock.

This is way more efficient, and increases your chance of obtaining your item. And who knows, you might be able to price match through the phone too!
 
This is the only thing of worth I have to contribute after 24 years:

If you're eating soup at a restaurant and they give you a bag of crackers, crush the crackers while they are still in the bag, then dump it into your soup to avoid getting any on your hands.
 
SapientWolf said:
There are a few really useful tips that I've gotten from other people and I thought it would be fun to create a thread that allows people to share some of the not-so-common knowledge they've accumulated. So post a tip if you have one, or quote a tip if you think it's useful.

So I guess I'll start it off. I don't know how many people are aware of this, but you can use your headphones as a microphone. Just plug it in the port and talk to one of the ear pieces (usually the left). The sound quality is surprisingly good. If you're playing a team game online and someone should really be using the mic you can pass the tip along. Almost everyone has a spare set of cans.

I finally got around to trying this recently - works great

Pretty much the only useful thing to come out of this thread
 
How did I miss this thread?

I was thinking of making a website where people can post protips after seeing someone getting totally soaked by a bus driving through a giant puddle in the road one day in the city... from the bus... laughing

So here's my protip

PROTIP: On a rainy day, do not walk near the street curb
 
Don't breath in fake moustache.

Seriously though, here's my tip for telemarketers that just wont stop calling / nagging; tell them your name is not on the bill, the owner of the bill does not live at the premise, and you're not obliged to give out the number.

Yeah, hanging up instantly works fine too, as does getting angry and going off your nut, but the former usually just leads to them calling back again and again, and the latter really isn't worth your time and rant.

Telling them your name isn't on the bill means you do not have the ability to change the bill information. Telling them the owner of the bill does not live at the premise means they cant arrange a time to call back. Lastly, you're never obliged to give out anybody's number and they can't demand it.

Open with all those statements and they'll hit a brick wall and hang up.
 
EatChildren said:
Don't breath in fake moustache.

Seriously though, here's my tip for telemarketers that just wont stop calling / nagging; tell them your name is not on the bill, the owner of the bill does not live at the premise, and you're not obliged to give out the number.

Yeah, hanging up instantly works fine too, as does getting angry and going off your nut, but the former usually just leads to them calling back again and again, and the latter really isn't worth your time and rant.

Telling them your name isn't on the bill means you do not have the ability to change the bill information. Telling them the owner of the bill does not live at the premise means they cant arrange a time to call back. Lastly, you're never obliged to give out anybody's number and they can't demand it.

Open with all those statements and they'll hit a brick wall and hang up.

I want to understand, but what bill?

I usually ask them "are you a telemarketer?" and then I respond "oh, then whatever it is, I'm not gonna be interested."
 
Always put your quarter on the side of the machine you wanna play on. Not *in* the machine while someone's already playing.

:)
 
If you're going to preorder a game online, the earlier you do it, the better. Some stores (like amazon) will price-protect. So if the price goes up later, you'll still get the lower price.
 
Sai-kun said:
Always put your quarter on the side of the machine you wanna play on. Not *in* the machine while someone's already playing.

:)
What the hell are you talking about?

...o wait I remember...fucking arcades...why the hell are there none in hundreds of miles of me :(
 
I need a pro-tip for condom usage. I broke up w/ my girl and I igot some pussy the other night and it was horrible. There was a total disconnect between by brain and my dick. I have no idea what kind of condom it was because she put it on, but it was tight, which eventually caused me to lose rigidity and just say 'fuck it'. I gave her enough pumps to make her cum a few times, but I didn't. Not fun.

So I need tips! Brands, techniques etc.
 
Sai-kun said:
Always put your quarter on the side of the machine you wanna play on. Not *in* the machine while someone's already playing.

:)

The problem with this tip is that arcades have been dead for awhile and that isn't common knowledge anymore.

If I went and did that nowadays, the kid playing the game might think I'm giving him the quarter.
 
EatChildren said:
Don't breath in fake moustache.

Seriously though, here's my tip for telemarketers that just wont stop calling / nagging; tell them your name is not on the bill, the owner of the bill does not live at the premise, and you're not obliged to give out the number.

I've been doing something similiar lately with creditors. Been paying them off but I screwed up trying to solve a break up with material things, slowing paying off but some I haven't been able to touch yet.

Anyway, when they call I'll say I just bought this phone last week, I have no idea who that is you mentioned, and to quit calling. If they call again I then threaten to sue, pretending I'm that new person that just bought the phone.
 
Corrections for this page:

Label Removal: If you can't get if off cleanly, just use a little vegetable oil and a butter knife. Wipe/clean afterwards.

Telemarketers: If you answer the phone and they don't know how to pronounce your name, they have no business with you. Answer politely, "hello?" and when they say, "Mr. Popadopolis?" you say, "No, thank you." and hang up. Anything more wastes their time and yours. I promise you won't miss any important calls as long as you can recognize when you're getting a call from a call center.

Counterfitting: Not a great idea.

Condoms: Trojan thin/lubricated. Purple box. And she was faking, because "enough pumps" won't do anything, silly ass.
 
girl-age pro tip

If a girl isn't interested in you from day 1, don't become her friend in some weird attempt to get her to fall in love with you.
 
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