Silphonica
Banned
Just got in from work, was going to read some of what I missed but decided to post up instead.
Most of the crazy stuff happened when I experienced with ecstasy after I just finished uni, there are many stories that were your bog standard crazy, like clubbing and general tomfoolery. Then there were times that I found myself in dangerous situations like some how escorting a dealer around the city with my mate, and coming across people that these guys had beef with and having a taser pulled on me.
But the absolute craziest for me was more just general wtf. I think back to this day and everything just seemed so fucked up, I can't wrap my head around it.
It started when my mum had her friend over and her bf and his mates over. I get asked, out of the blue, can you sort us out with ecstasy. For everyone. My mum included. I wasn't really in a position to deny, so off I went, me and this dude went to go collect. This guy who i hated, was a heroin addict with epilepsy who had once been shot in the head and jailed for almost killing someone. He was the brother of my mums mates bf.
Get back and begin. Takes awhile to kick in, so things are generally normal, I was drinking beers, talking to mates bf on the sofa. some people in the kitchen, whatever.
Some point later, I hear screaming from the kitchen "help help". This was one of the things I had feared most and had been incredibly lucky to avoid in the short time I had experimented. I run into the kitchen, by this point im pretty buzzing and my vision was vibrating like mad (if youve never experienced this, try to imagine a high powered vibrator being pressed against your eye). I try to focus myself, and I see my mum sitting on a chair, she is like 55kg, with her mate sitting on her knee, who is probably 3x her weight. Shes wobbling, making weird noises and trying to roll her eyes. Heres the thing, i know her to be overly dramatic and a major attention seeker. And I clocked on pretty quick she was faking it. So I did the first thing that popped into my head, I smacked her across the face pretty hard. She suddenly came to life, and said "thanks that helped" ok then.
I go back to the sofa, and im talking to her bf who is flying, and immediately as I sit down, she comes running through. Mounts him cowgirl style and just starts dry humping the fuck out of him, moaning as if shes actually having sex, loudly. and honestly i couldnt tell if she was attention seeking at this point or just out of it, so the party carries on around them and she does this for like an hour and a half.
I strike up a conversation with this older lady, no idea where she came from. But she wasnt taking anything, but she was so drunk i dont think she cared. The conversation went like this "Hi im x, whats your name?" "Greg, nice to meet you" *she slowly licks her hand from palm to fingertips* and offers me a hand shake. Im fucked, so w/e I shake her hand. She asks if im having a good time, i say yes, she said her too. Besides the hand licking, pretty normal situation. The real fucked up thing here was, word for word, action for action (hand licking included) we had this conversation about 8 or 9 times.
By this point humping lady has gotten up and gone to the bathroom. I go sit next to the bf and ask him what was up with that. he replies "im flying man". Then proceeds to put his hands down his trousers and attempt to wank. Nah fuck this, i got up and left the house, shit conversation, shit atmosphere, and just went for a hyperactive walk.
By the time I got back, things never improved. I had taken quite a lot at this point so i was truly buzzing but I still had some selfcontrol. Obviously the people I was with were new to this situation. Anyway I get in the front door, and humping lady had been lying on the bathroom floor. Her bf was pissing on her leg. The thing is, I knew she wasnt passed out or asleep so she was just letting this happen. I wanted to say something, but I didnt have a high opinion of these people pre-party and and over the course of the night it just nose-dived, not my fucking business and couldn't be bothered to say anything.
Walk into the living room, and theres a boy sitting on the sofa with no trousers or underwear on. and my mum and the boys brother just laughing at how small his cock is, the boy pissed himself and threw his shit in a plant pot.
At this point I had mentally checked out from this party, it wasnt even a party just a shit show. Not long later, humping lady and her bf go home and the party dissipates shortly after, she stayed 4 houses down from us.
All but one. The older lady who was only drinking, clearly an alcoholic, began to realise she was the only one here. Apart from my mum, me and mums mate. She tries to strike up a conversation, only now I have realised this lady hasnt moved from her seat or spoke to anyone else all night but me.
She says "im not a bad person". I tried to reassure her, and ask what she meant, but that was all she could say "im not a bad person". So I didnt want to have to force her out the house so started gently by asking who she came with and where she lives and I would help her home. She states the name of the humping lady. She was supposed to be staying at hers.
Good one. We get a call not long after "oh can you tell *old lady* her bag is here. At this point I formulate a plan, we take the old lady round to hers, knock the doors and then leg it. She opened the door, bag in hand, and we uh, just ran away. We had to carry her to the door aswell. I felt bad, but it was the only option. That guy who helped tried to steal her phone, he asked me to leave it behind, but nty, I can sometimes be a less than stellar person but not that low.
At that point I fucked off and watched fresh prince of bel air for another 6 hours.
I'm willing to be judged poorly by this story, keep in mind tho this was 5 years ago.
