-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Relationship is over and where do I go from here
- Thread starter mooooose
- Start date
- Status
DarknessTear
Banned
I've been through the same thing too. Dude, just stop talking to her, surround yourself with friends or make some female friends. Do things to make her existence irrelevant to you in order to preserve your sanity, please. It'll only get worse if you don't.
Messypandas
Member
you'll console yourself with fond memories and mentally block all the times she probably made you feel like shit and insignificant. I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago and going through the same process; systematically reviewing the great times we had together and thinking I had made a mistake. But i didn't. Its not worth it, you knew in your heart it wasn't going to work out and now you have to let it go. Move on.
I'm not going to post here anymore. Not going to talk to her anymore, though my texts were that big a deal. I'm thinking forward even if I have to lie to myself a little to get there.
I'm not going to give my affection to someone who is giving their's to someone else.
Thanks everyone for your help.
I'm not going to give my affection to someone who is giving their's to someone else.
Thanks everyone for your help.
he's 20
Is that bad? Lol.
CrushDance
Banned
The stress does have serious psychological and biological effects though. Many people after breakups or loss suffer from trauma, weight loss, weight gain, loss of sleep, anxiety, paranoia, etc. It's why learning how to say "no" and moving on is so important to learn early on. A friend I had went on drugs after his girlfriend broke up with him, the anti-depressants caused massive problems and he ended up with heart failure after stopping taking them.
Don't just say this. DO IT. We're all rooting for you man. And it may just sound like "advice". But if there's anything that I've learned, it's that when people who've experienced relationship woes like this are giving you advice; you should really listen! It will pass. Not quickly or ever fully. But it will.
Oh man. Oh no.
no it just means that he's inexperienced with his emotions.
also first break-up and so on.
Ah, I remember my first love and the breakup quite well - I did some embarrassing things to win her back - of course in vain. She broke up because she said I was too selfish and only talked about me...when I begged her for one more chance I realized how stupid the thought behind it actually is - I WAS selfish and a prick (for example,she quit her sports "carreer" and I only had stupid comments to share...and when her grandmother died I wasn't behaving...ideally either). When I accepted it, I felt much better at her being out there, meeting with other guys that are better suited for her than me.
Well, after this was over and much sadness later I got laid by a girl that was...somewhat...weird.
Well, she said she loved me after 2 weeks and then slept with some other dude after her last-day-at-work -party and I still tried to win her back! How pitifull, think about it!
After much whoring around and boozing (only fun for maybe 2 months, for me it was 8) I finally found my true love - and now, almost 5 years laer, I'm still a lucky dude.
Why I'm telling this story is- you just have to work on yourself if you failed people in a relationship sometimes and much of what we do'd need a good thinking before we actually do it concerning break-ups. Acting weird and whiny after the first break up only made me a laughingstock.
Well, after this was over and much sadness later I got laid by a girl that was...somewhat...weird.
Well, she said she loved me after 2 weeks and then slept with some other dude after her last-day-at-work -party and I still tried to win her back! How pitifull, think about it!
After much whoring around and boozing (only fun for maybe 2 months, for me it was 8) I finally found my true love - and now, almost 5 years laer, I'm still a lucky dude.
Why I'm telling this story is- you just have to work on yourself if you failed people in a relationship sometimes and much of what we do'd need a good thinking before we actually do it concerning break-ups. Acting weird and whiny after the first break up only made me a laughingstock.
Yeah I was trying to relate to him cause I'm 20 as well and my highschool sweetheart left me a little over a month ago. 4 and a half year relationship. I tried suggesting shit that has helped me progress but.. He's taking it really hard. I don't blame him. Break ups suck.
Count Dookkake
Member
Remember what GAF told you back then.
The last months of pain could have been avoided.
Learn from that.
The last months of pain could have been avoided.
Learn from that.
CrushDance
Banned
No you're not. It will take a long time. Don't feel bad if you think about her or anything. Just do not contact her or peek at Facebook or anything. Live for yourself.
^^^^^^
You don't just "get over" something like this. You need to understand going into this that it WILL hurt for a LONG time. It can take well over a year. Just make sure you hold yourself to ceasing contact. Do other things and meet other people to keep your mind off of her and, hopefully, someday you'll find that she no longer matters.
It's going to be a long battle. Best of luck.
matt360
Member
That's good. Just be sure not to forget everything you learned from this experience when your next girlfriend comes along. Don't make the same mistakes.
Great job, moooose. I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved ones is just poison in your veins. And one day you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you'd be spared your pain.
Like you, I was forced to learn that there are those without decency that must be fought without hesitation, without pity.
Your anger gives you great power, but if you let it, it will destroy you, as it almost did me.
Like you, I was forced to learn that there are those without decency that must be fought without hesitation, without pity.
Your anger gives you great power, but if you let it, it will destroy you, as it almost did me.
This right here is poetry. This hits home for what I've been going through the last month.
zerokoolpsx
Member
On the right track. Good going moose!
I suggest picking up a hobby, playing a sport, go to a gym or hanging out with your friends.
Keep yourself busy.
CrushDance
Banned
I could have written this exact post / situation myself. Well said my man.
Indeed. When you're attached to someone (especially strongly), the loss is equal to grieving a family member. It simply takes time. Lots of it. It's cliche, but the only thing you can really do is improve yourself and socialize with other people.
Again well said. It's a long battle, but you will win it.
Don't forget, she's probably having really really good sex right now.
Smelly Tramp
Member
yup you were too reliant on her, the truth is those first girlfriends never really work out, and the ones that stay together from high school? they usually divorce eventually.
you made a big fuck up by shouting at her for dressing down or whatever, but hopefully you've learned from that and moved on. we've all done bad shit like that before, don't let it get you down.
your one massive mistake? putting all of your energy into her. ditched your friends, your family, everyone you knew to spend ALL your time with her? BIG MISTAKE man.
get your own life, get your own friends, be happy on your own and then maybe you'll meet a sweet girl, and if not? who gives a fuck, you're happy doing what you're doing anyway.
cause that guy that gets a girlfriend and then just drops off the radar and ditches his friends... that guy is a pussy and ain't nobody got time for that
you made a big fuck up by shouting at her for dressing down or whatever, but hopefully you've learned from that and moved on. we've all done bad shit like that before, don't let it get you down.
your one massive mistake? putting all of your energy into her. ditched your friends, your family, everyone you knew to spend ALL your time with her? BIG MISTAKE man.
get your own life, get your own friends, be happy on your own and then maybe you'll meet a sweet girl, and if not? who gives a fuck, you're happy doing what you're doing anyway.
cause that guy that gets a girlfriend and then just drops off the radar and ditches his friends... that guy is a pussy and ain't nobody got time for that
She won't matter. Hardly any meaningful relationship will matter if you don't nurture it. You think you can't be without them until you aren't, and then you adapt, and life does go on.
Pick any relationship. They all have the same potential to disintegrate.
I don't even know how I'm feeling this morning. Less mad. Still pretty mad. I have to keep reminding myself she doesn't give a shit. She's with a new guy. Her actions speak loud.
I have no hope for us. I can't.
I can live all on my own. Make my own friends. Make my own hobbies. Make my own life. Make my own happiness.
I have no hope for us. I can't.
I can live all on my own. Make my own friends. Make my own hobbies. Make my own life. Make my own happiness.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
So you are mad because she's with someone else now?
People are applauding this latest rant?
I'm confused. She texted you and tried to remain in contact with small talk and suddenly she's worthy of telling to fuck off?
You are one piece of work.. so are the people applauding you IMO. Get the hell over yourself.. you acted like a manipulative psychopath. You should be urging this girl to get help for ever talking to you before if you are so "mentally healthy" now with your therapy not telling her to fuck off. No one should be with people like you, at least who "you" were when you were mindfucking a girl for not dressing nicely enough for your date.
People are applauding this latest rant?
I'm confused. She texted you and tried to remain in contact with small talk and suddenly she's worthy of telling to fuck off?
You are one piece of work.. so are the people applauding you IMO. Get the hell over yourself.. you acted like a manipulative psychopath. You should be urging this girl to get help for ever talking to you before if you are so "mentally healthy" now with your therapy not telling her to fuck off. No one should be with people like you, at least who "you" were when you were mindfucking a girl for not dressing nicely enough for your date.
OriginofHysteria
Banned
People cope differently and if this is his way then let him be. 90% chance that he won't feel
the same way once he gets over her. I felt the same way about my ex when she broke up with me and now are texting each other to this day.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
And if you told your ex to fuck off irrationally.. well.. you weren't being rational.
I'm not one to applaud irrational behavior just because it's commonplace.
Convincing yourself to be mad at someone when it was all your fault? It might be common, but IMO shouldn't be praised or supported. Should be called out for what it is.. dishonest.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
He also started that essay with "without going into details", and then pasted the entire "fuck you" email to the girl he previously mentally abused.
The fuck is this shit GAF?
Seek more help moooose.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
if you're done with it then there's no need to lock it. unsubscrbe to it and stop posting in it and it will disappear forever.
echoshifting
Banned
I don't understand posts like this. As OC said, you can walk away from the thread. If you are having self control issues you are better off PMing a mod and pleading your case for a lock.
Had a REALLY hard breakup due to relationship strain caused by her depression (we tried fighting the thing for 8+months)...i was so in love with this girl and as far as i can tell, she was too...but the whole "relationship-config." just added a lot of weight on her shoulders instead of offering her a safe-port in midst of all the shit going on in her head...
...that was a little over 2 months ago.
I've been thinking about her everyday and we've been careful not to stay in touch too much cus i can tell it would be too much for me at least. So yesterday she uploaded some pictures of her cats (which i miss dearly also) and i don't know if it was intentional or what...but it's pretty clear there's a guy on her bed.
No need to say it, but yeah...pretty much the worst day i can remember...i'm a pretty "on control" kinda guy and obviously i faced the possibility of this happening...but right now it's pretty obvious too that on top of still having feelings for her, i had hope we could get back together...and its devastating to know that's not the reality of things.
The depths of the human mind...i'll tell you...unfathomable.
Here's to hoping i can still climb out.
...that was a little over 2 months ago.
I've been thinking about her everyday and we've been careful not to stay in touch too much cus i can tell it would be too much for me at least. So yesterday she uploaded some pictures of her cats (which i miss dearly also) and i don't know if it was intentional or what...but it's pretty clear there's a guy on her bed.
No need to say it, but yeah...pretty much the worst day i can remember...i'm a pretty "on control" kinda guy and obviously i faced the possibility of this happening...but right now it's pretty obvious too that on top of still having feelings for her, i had hope we could get back together...and its devastating to know that's not the reality of things.
The depths of the human mind...i'll tell you...unfathomable.
Here's to hoping i can still climb out.
NarcissisticJay
Member
Tell the hive what went down so you can get a few opinions from a few angles.
PumpkinPie
Banned
Just thought I'd update this topic. I posted the above quote two months ago after being single for 6 years, depressed as fuck. Well... I met someone totally at random on 26th August
Anyway, I don't want to get too ahead of myself, it's still early days, but after 6 years I had pretty much given up on dating. This has just proved to me how quickly and randomly things can happen. Maybe this wont work out either, but I feel that I'm out of the hole I'd dug myself into.
OP, I hope you can sort things out a lot quicker than I did. Seems so easy for me to see it now, but at the time I couldn't see things for what they were. I spoke to someone about it and the words that hit home were "why are you wasting your time and energy on someone who doesn't care about you?". Find someone who deserves and appreciates your affection.
- Status