Support NeoGAF

[TheSeks]

OK, serious attempt:

It isn't that much crazier than a lot of other "serious" religions.

See magic underwear, pillars of salt and racist people who didn't understand what Christ was actually saying. In plain Aramaic.

Well, there's also religions based on movies. "Dudeism," anyone? "Matrixism," anyone?

There's even a collective (underground but) of "Jedi's" that believe that stuff. While Scientology is crazy, people will believe whatever they want (or don't want) to believe.

 

[RiccochetJ]

Grinding while you try and become Clear.

When you are Clear you can start really leveling up to develop superpowers.

So Scientology is a real life MMO?

 

[Lonestar]

What are they actually talking about? Are these just supercuts from some promo video or is it a coherent look at something.

"You had to be there, Brother-Brother!"

 

[DECK'ARD]

From what I have heard, i think the whole Xenu thing is revealed to you when you reach max level of training.

I need confirmation

You need to go Clear then level up 3 times. Just that knowledge may kill you though, so be careful!

OT III: The Wall of Fire

"This Solo-audited level goes through what is called the "Wall of Fire" that surrounds a previously impenetrable whole track mystery. What prevents a being from being himself? This level answers that question. Once complete, a being is free of the whole track overwhelm that has trapped him. Here he confronts and eradicates the fourth dynamic engram that has plagued this universe for millennia."[6] The cost to 'upgrade' to this level is $8,910.[7]

Church dogma regards OT III as a dangerous process which can lead to pneumonia, to lack of sleep or even to death if not run correctly. In Church of Scientology of California v. Kaufman, it was noted that the defendant had been required to sign a waiver to the effect that "the Scientology Organization, its branches and members, and L. Ron Hubbard are not responsible for anything that might happen to my body or mind on OT III".

So Scientology is a real life MMO?

Yep.

There's still levels to unlock as well, it can't ever be finished!

 

[Uncledick]

After 4 minutes... I needed a stiff drink of whiskey

 

[Hero_of_the_Day]

What are they actually talking about? Are these just supercuts from some promo video or is it a coherent look at something.

It seems like they are selling something to help you "level up" faster. Seriously. I don't know if it's something physical they are selling or some type of fitness program, but that's what it seemed like to me.

 

[Alcotholic]

Holy shit. I literally feel like I'm on the crazy train! No stops, it just keeps going!

"I am OT"

I can't take these people seriously. They can't be serious, can they?

 

[EndGame82]

OK, serious attempt:

It isn't that much crazier than a lot of other "serious" religions.

See magic underwear, pillars of salt and racist people who didn't understand what Christ was actually saying. In plain Aramaic.

At least with the other "serious religions" the present day believers were not around at the time to judge for themselves what was nonsense.

If you hung out with Jesus and knew he was the local town wack job who tried to earn a living by selling made up stories and still believed him then shame on you.

I get how sometimes truth and fiction get merged and blended over time, but this shit is right in front of our eyes, present day.

 

[PatDH]

Sums it up quite nicely. Rarrrrrl!

 

[hipbabboom]

I'm honestly trying to follow the statement of the people in the video but the amount of terms based on insider knowledge makes it really difficult. My assessment is coming from a place of ignorance but it almost sounds like the people think they're programs and their teachings are like files that get loaded. This isn't to different from how anyone gains knowledge but people are able to effectively communicate this without computer science terms.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

This stuff is cray cray. What is this wonderful bridge they keep talking about? And ridging?

One needs to drop some acid and do enough coke to kill a horse to understand this Kool-Aid nonsense.

 

[Technosteve]

i'm going to make a broad statement, white people are really in to scientology

 

[dripdripsplash]

http://vimeo.com/1911088

Oh my god hahahhahahahhahahhaha I'm laughing so hard right now

 

[SneakyStephan]

OK, serious attempt:

It isn't that much crazier than a lot of other "serious" religions.

See magic underwear, pillars of salt and racist people who didn't understand what Christ was actually saying. In plain Aramaic.

Yep, none of this sounds any more crazy to me than hearing a nun talk about jesus speaking to her etc (or some religions convincing people to cut the foreskin off of babies' dicks)

The age of empires tech tree talk makes it more hilarious though, this shit is comedy gold


There's bound to be some scientology members on GAF, let us in on your hilarious stories/beliefs guys.

 

[daycru]

Fuck engrams.

 

[Count of Monte Sawed-Off]

Sums it up quite nicely. Rarrrrrl!

That part stood out to me too. And that image next to your Sloth avatar is perfect.

 

[DECK'ARD]

Fuck engrams.

Stop being such an SP.

 

[SneakyStephan]

double post

 

[robotrock]

This is a joke, right?

Yeah. It's entertaining though!

 

[RM8]

Scientology is cool because you can make fun of it without negative consequences

 

[daycru]

Stop being such an SP.

Bro, you're PTS. Stop dramatizing your incident. Falling through the bottom of the tone scale...

 

[hipbabboom]

Yeah. It's entertaining though!

Oh this is a fake video? That explains it.

 

[Uncledick]

i'm going to make a broad statement, white people are really in to scientology

Judging by the video, ya. I think I saw a one black guy and an Asian. Women over represented as well.

One thing I noticed, are scientologists all Tom Cruise level extroverts? Is that one(among many) difference that sets them apart from other religions?

 

[DECK'ARD]

Scientology is cool because you can make fun of it without negative consequences

It's the one thing on GAF without a Defence Force.

 

[nomster]

There are some babes in there, maybe I need to get my thetans checked out

 

[tmarques]

Impossible to lampoon because it already looks like a MadTV skit. Amazing.

"My bridge is like a railroad that goes nosnstop!"

Edit: What's with the man who "passed with a 100%." They are graded !?

 

[RustyNails]

From what I have heard, i think the whole Xenu thing is revealed to you when you reach max level of training.

I need confirmation

Me too. Every scientologist denies it.

 

[DECK'ARD]

Bro, you're PTS. Stop dramatizing your incident. Falling through the bottom of the tone scale...

Don't make me go Fair Game on you brah.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

Whether it's fake or not, this had me dying:

Go to 6:20 of the video

"Bam, I was out of the Matrix. I was given the blue pill."

 

[Speevy]

nm

 

[zert]

The background music sounds like it's from Mario Kart.

lol it's true

 

[Speevy]

I'm actually kind of scared of the planet earth. Done. thing.

Like they may be planning to nuke us all.

 

[Animator]

That music...holy shit that music.

 

[Delta Assault]

There's bound to be some scientology members on GAF, let us in on your hilarious stories/beliefs guys.

If they made a community thread, would it just be called OT OT?

 

[OJdaKiller]

I love the vague language...The number of times people say "it" in this video...lol..it changed me..

I live by a Church of Scientology and it's scary...The occasional members you see walking around never seem to walk alone, always in groups and they wear black..

Modern day cult members..

Also, why are people calling this a fake video? What about it tells you it's fake?

 

[Hero_of_the_Day]

Oh this is a fake video? That explains it.

No way it's fake.

 

[Speevy]

I remember the day it changed me.

I was sitting there and it was like the rainbow of time played a song in my ear. I wasn't ready to hear it, but when it started up...wow. It's true what they say about meeting all the members in the hallway. My doors started opening on the ceiling and I was sure of it. I drove my car right through them.

 

[jambo]

No Space Moors, no sale.

Connotation, denotation, learn them.

 

[echoshifting]

So this is what cocaine is like.

Noooooope.

 

[Chichikov]

OK, serious attempt:

It isn't that much crazier than a lot of other "serious" religions.

See magic underwear, pillars of salt and racist people who didn't understand what Christ was actually saying. In plain Aramaic.

Pretty much all "serious" religions have a moral core.
Scientology is a fucking scam designed to take money from gullible people, and that video is a perfect example of it.
I mean shit, this is like every other "testimonials" tv ad you see, when someone searched replaced the product with crazy words.

 

[SwiftDeath]

Wow the buzz words oh god the buzz words

 

[Technosteve]

second observation, the females in this videos are 90% attractive in their mid 20's. If scientology was a dating site i would join

 

[Chichikov]

He has a point.

 

[wondermega]

It will be ironic 150 years from now when gaf has evolved into a mega-virtual-cult-religion-thing and people rant and rave about their Achievements

in all seriousness that will probably happen to reddit

 

[block tower]

some of the craziest shit i've seen all day. i can't tell if these people are insane, desperate or so loded with cash they don't give a fuck? maybe its all three..

reminds me of this

 

[bronkonagurski]

Kliffom, Brother-Brother!

This. Just...this.

I feel inspired to go run in circles in the desert for a half hour now.

 

[Stinkles]

Pretty much all "serious" religions have a moral core.
Scientology is a fucking scam designed to take money from gullible people, and that video is a perfect example of it.
I mean shit, this is like every other "testimonials" tv ad you see, when someone searched replaced the product with crazy words.

I sort of agree. But morality is a conceit, not an absolute. For example, a hardcore fundamentalist Sunni Muslim has a completely different moral precept of women's rights than say, a Scientologist. Which he would argue is rooted in ancient tradition and equally ancient revelations from god. He believes it. He (our imaginary dude) thinks that stoning a woman to death for adultery IS moral. And what does a spider think is moral? Not even a concept for the vast majority of living beings we're aware of.

But to properly agree with you, I'd say that fundamentalists Sunni Islam does in fact support charity, alms for the poor and so on - sort of "agreed upon" morality.

Whereas Scientology is a straight up scam with almost zero pretense of any morality at all. And I agree in that respect its actually unusual. And in my opinion, dumber as a result.

It's also exceptionally weird in that it tries to disguise MOST of the information about its precepts until you're totes brainwashed, whereas Mormons, Christians and Muslims let new adherents learn everything they want to in widely published free and complete books.

 

[Easy_D]

I'm actually kind of scared of the planet earth. Done. thing.

Like they may be planning to nuke us all.

Why would they? In their view, nukes are what caused all of this shit to begin with

 

[Trouble]

These people are using words I understand in ways that make absolutely no sense to me. Who can I send money to to learn this new lingo?

 

[adj_noun]

Scientology is a role playing game where money is your XP.