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[Min0]

It depends on the person you are talking with. If your SO is an insecure person I wouldn't recommend to compliment someone else's look.

 

[Musha_Soturi]

Like most people have commented on here, it all depends on the sort of relationship and whether either party has self esteem issues. If you're open and honest and comfortable with yourselves and each other then it shouldn't be a problem.

I'll always tell my bf if I think someone is fit, but I also tell him how hot I think he is, and he does the same.

 

[Pestilence11]

If you're with your girlfriend only because she's attractive then you have a problem.

Where did he even imply that?

 

[CorrisD]

The wife and I have never had an issue with this, we've had many in depth disuccions on that "5 celebrities you could have sex with" and have both pointed out hot people on TV. The only limit seems to be that we don't say it about people we know, and that's really an unspoken one and something we seemingly both consider common sense.

Look but don't touch is as rule I've always gone by, and involving your other half in the discussion can always make for an entertaining conversation.

 

[CoolOff]

I heard someone say that "the problem isn't telling your SO that you find other people attractive, it's when you stop doing it."

It's stuck with me, because to me it's so obvious that in a relationship built on trust, both of you should know that other people are still attractive to both of you, and hiding it can't be good.

 

[Noaloha]

It's not disrepectful in a perfect world, no. However. If your partner has self-esteem problems or insecurities about certain things and you knowingly say things which aggravate those issues, that's perhaps disrespectful. Or, at least, it demonstrates a carelessness with regards to empathy.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Its not disrespectful, but dont rub it in someone's face. Practice moderation and be empathetic if feeling insecure. My SO doesn't get jealous about it normally but likely eventually will if I go on and on about it. There's no shortage of beautiful people in the world and your SO is the most important one, so make sure your scale reflects that.

 

[Certinty]

If it's someone I know in person then perhaps it is.

Most of the time me and my girlfriend talk about which celebs we find attractive though and neither of us find it disrespectful at all.

 

[zorlaczerohero]

My wife and I will openly say "yeah, no, maybe if I was drunk", whenever we see someone of comparable age. Christ my wife has often said "did you see the knockers on her?" As we walk along. Everyone finds others attractive, better it's faced and accepted than hidden and left to fester.

 

[one_kill]

It's not disrepectful in a perfect world, no. However. If your partner has self-esteem problems or insecurities about certain things and you knowingly say things which aggravate those issues, that's perhaps disrespectful. Or, at least, it demonstrates a carelessness with regards to empathy.

Yeah I agree.

 

[Nekofrog]

my wife will look at girls and be like "dang we should fuck her"

i love my life

 

[Amentallica]

I expect comments such as "he is attractive" or "he looks cute", etc. Likewise, I also say the same about a girl if I want to or if I am asked. But I do not appreciate disrespectful statements like "he can have his way with me."

That's about it.

 

[jon bones]

not to us, but every relationship is different

 

[Yado]

I don't think it's disrespectful, it's basically observing someone and remarking on it. Saying you're actually attracted to this person is more likely to be a problem.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

She's trippin.

.

Everyone is attracted to lots of people. If you lie about it, you'll just make yourself feel guilty.

 

[jim-jam bongs]

There's a question of decorum of course, but generally speaking it's fine if you just mention it. On the other hand, if you're like "OMG I WANNA PEE IN HER BUTT SCHWING SCHWING HUBBA HUBBA BONERLAND THE THIRST IS SO REAL" then that's disrespectful.

 

[alvmew]

I concur that it: (1) depends on the relationship; (2) you definitely should never cross the line of calling someone "hot" or "pretty" to statements about how much hotter they are than your partner or how you'd like to fuck them; and (3) if you have a partner with self-esteem issues, best to just not do it.

I did love with my ex that we kind of bonded on what celebrities we found attractive and whatnot, but we are both men so that is probably harder to pull off in a heterosexual relationship.

 

[wenis]

Doesn't matter how you get your engine revving but matters what garage you park your car in.

3rd date with my girlfriend. Words from her mouth.

 

[.GqueB.]

Depends on the person. My ex and I used to say other people were attractive all the time but my current gf doesn't like it so I don't say that kind of thing.

There's no right or wrong here. It's something she isn't comfortable with... so stop . I'm not even sure why you're asking.

 

[Wickerbasket]

It's disrespectful if she's asked you not to do it and you continue to do it.

If she's asking your opinion and then getting pissed about the response though, then that's her problem.

 

[NervousXtian]

Shouldn't be a problem, but if you don't already have that kind of open dialogue, what's the point?

Do you think she/he cares? I know my wife thinks other guys are hot... she doesn't really need to tell me, nor do I really care if she finds them hot.

Seems saying something like this to your gf/bf is more for you, not them.. and then why do it.

 

[jadedm17]

As long as you make your partner feel like you're attracted to them then there is no problem. It only becomes an issue if you aren't giving them that attention as well.

Not at the time, almost exclusively celebs or just comments like "I like her dress", and I always make sure she knows how attractive I find her.

Honestly I think the issue is I'm her first real adult relationship. Ive openly told her how - from a strictly physical perspective - I prefer pale girls who wear sundresses, something she as a tanned Italian who mostly wears jeans or yoga pants finds threatening.

Personally I find it silly, I know I'm not her perfect physical match.

It's disrespectful if she's asked you not to do it and you continue to do it.

If she's asking your opinion and then getting pissed about the response though, then that's her problem.

Ive stopped because shes asked, this argument came when I let slip I liked Zoey Daschenels eyeshadow while rewatching some New Girl.

 

[FleckSplat]

Ill point out this topic came up while watching New Girl and pointing out how Mess looked treated in eyeshadow, but its something that's come up plenty of times before.

My argument : Its meaningless, were all physically attracted to people more than the person were with. Personality makes the woman for me but I can admit that people like Scarlett Johansen are more physically attractive then anyone ive dated, saying thay outright doesn't mean anything but sharing.

Her argument : Saying you find someone else attractive is disrespectful, as is saying things like a coworker had nice eyeshadow today. (Red, white and blue for the fourth.)

Thoughts?

Related : Ive always held the opinion flirting - and nothing more - is great in relationships. Throughout my life ive worked in restaurants which is really just highschool so everyone fucks everyone. My favorite part of this has always been harmless flirting: mindless ego boosting that keeps you trying. I honestly think its great and healthy for longterm so you don't get stagnite.

A healthy relationship built on trust

As long as the person you're talking about resembles your SO and you emphasize that part (like "OMG Loki's hair is so hot!" if your boyfriend looks like him, shit like that).

 

[charsace]

This is a big flag to me if something like this upsets your SO.

 

[……forgetit]

Don't get jealous dude, you're gonna be attracted to other people in a relationship, it's a fact of life

 

[Village]

Depends on how you say it, and what you are saying. And in many cases who its being said to.

Saying " so and so is hot" I don't think is bad " saying so and so is hot going into how wonderful a person they are" and then proceed to tell them about that cool time you had out that was essentially a date during a time your bf/gf needed you and you weren't there. Not so much.

So ya know , its only really bad if it mean something more than a compliment.

 

[Joey Fox]

This is a big flag to me if something like this upsets your SO.

Yep. Fuckin run if this is an issue. I hate insecurity, it is a debilitating disease on relationships.

 

[FullMetaltech]

It depends on the person you are talking with. If your SO is an insecure person I wouldn't recommend to compliment someone else's look.

This. Especially if they have self esteem issues.

 

[Mr Croft]

I think it is ok. We have had a couple of occasions where my girl and I go out and see someone of a different gender and complement them. Nothing more than she is cute or attractive and vice versa. We never go past that tho.. Then it is a problem IMO

 

[Camp Lo]

This is a big flag to me if something like this upsets your SO.

I agree. Gotta have a sit down and lay all the cards out about it.

 

[ppor]

Just lie and say you find the other person unattractive. When your SO says "No, she/he looks pretty hot", then just reply "Yea, I guess..."

 

[Manu]

I'm going to change your life right now OP.

Acceptable: "Scarlett Johansen is hot."

NOT Acceptable: "Scarlett Johansen is hotter than you (or anyone I've ever dated)."

Ding ding ding.

 

[Dennis]

Yeah, like your girlfriend actually thinks she is better looking than Scarlett Johansen.

It is all a facade. You know Scarlett Johansen is better looking than your girlfriend. Your girlfriend knows that Scarlett Johansen is better looking than her. You are both just agreed you shouldn't say it out loud.

 

[Nealand Liquor]

In my very early 20s I would say stupid shit like "Holy fuck X is hot!" in front of girlfriends all the time. I stopped doing it when I met my wife cause I feel it really is a dick move and something that doesn't need to be said. We both have working eyes afterall.

Now this isn't to say I have a issue with people making comments (I playfully tease my Wife about her crushes cause it makes us laugh) but I guess I feel expressing desire for another person just takes it too far. I don't want to ever be the person to hurt my wife's feelings.

Amyway I feel this post is kinda all over the place so to summarize: Commenting on a celebs looks when asked/celeb has changed/in appropriate situation is OK in my mind.
What isn't ok is to express desire to bang another person even a famous person.
Also I don't think it is right to make comments about people in day to day life either. To say things about people someone is in contact with such as "X person* at work/school/neighbor/friend is super hot/sexy" is really in poor taste and can make the SO feel insecure or hurt. I also feel the same about making comments about random people like "The server at X place is so hot" shouldn't be said.

Of course everybody is different and my "lines in the sand" may be perfectly fine with other people and there is nothing wrong with that.


*It shouldn't need to be said, but an obvious exception would be if someone lost a lot of weight or experienced a big physical change.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

I think it's healthy to talk about it. Do it in a fun way. There is a reason why the person is with you and not someone else.


One I've done with girlfriends in the past is telling each other our top 10 famous people. Then going back and forth. It's fun!



Though one time, an ex of mine upset me when she said she would cheat on me with the front singer of some emo rock band. That was kinda weird. she said she also liked to send messages on facebook to famous people like joseph-gordon-levit and benedict cumberbatch. She tried to explain me that being a starfucker is not really like cheating with regular people. I can't really see that point, but that was how she looked at it I guess. haha.


I would never look at it like that. If I met Kate Beckinsale or a normal person who looked just like her, I wouldnt have a preference towards Beckinsale because she was rich and famous. I don't think thats attractive at all!

 

[Ryaaan14]

You're gon feel a burn when she thinks someone u don't like is attractive hhhehhehehheh

 

[Dabanton]

It should all be a bit of fun between a couple.

Me and my SO comment occasionally on people we see when we're out and about people watching. I don't fancy every woman I see but she knows my kind of woman and we have fun pointing that out. I do the same to her and any suitable blokes.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

My wife is the one who points out good looking women to me most of the time..we don't have insecurity problems.

Dabanton knows what's up..

 

[legacyzero]

Depends on the SO. Something as little as me giving a hug to another female earns me "the death stare".

 

[FortuneFaded]

Depends on the SO. Something as little as me giving a hug to another female earns me "the death stare".

You're just begging for an avatar quote.

 

[v1lla21]

Her and I say it all the time. Never had any problems with it.

 

[lethial]

Insecure people make big deals about it. Non issue.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Only if your mate is weak.

 

[Dusk Soldier]

It depends on the context, and how you phrase your words.

But pointing out people you find attractive can make them feel self-concious. Especially if they notice a pattern of you liking people that look nothiing like them.

 

[luxstellarum]

Insecure gf? No don't compliment other girls

Cool as f*** gf? Compliment other girls

 

[Forceatowulf]

I always make it very clear to the person I'm in a relationship with that I'm going to sneak a peak from time to time and comment on the looks of other women, be they from work, a grocery store, on a TV show, a movie, etc, you name it. That shit is going to go down. I always make this clear very early in the relationship too. If they don't like it then I make an effort to shut my trap. Although I've yet to be with a girl who was militant about this.

I think the reason why they've never really gotten too upset about it is because I also ask them if they find certain guys attractive. It got to a point with a couple of them where they would just start telling me how cute such and such was at the restaurant we went to, or a boy at the grocery store, and so on. It became like an innocent game between us. It always fascinates me what girls deem attractive sometimes. Guys I would never think would be thought of as "hot" were being picked out by them on occasion. This also happened in reverse! Guys who I thought for sure would be on their radar they didn't seem to care for in the slightest. Fascinating stuff.

I recommend this to everyone. It breaks down certain walls of insecurity and can lead to some damned interesting conversations about physical attractiveness. Some people might be too prudish, shy, uncomfortable, to do it though. You gotta respect that if that's the case.

 

[commedieu]

my gf appreciates both sexes.

Her comments cancel each other out.

Diplomatic immunity.

 

[KingJ2002]

People will always be attracted to another so it's not disrespectful unless your throwing it in her face.

She may find it disrespectful due to her own insecurities as many women "size each other up" to see who is more attractive and feel any acknowledgement of beauty over their own is an insult.

all in all.. if she finds it disrespectful... it is... to her.

Other women probably won't.

 

[Mexen]

What's the point of acknowledging someone else's attractiveness when you're in a relationship?

What do you hope to gain from calling someone pretty/handsome when you're with someone you consider your SO?

 

[Waluigilicious]

If your SO weren't with you then he/she will be with someone else, finding someone else attractive, sharing their life with them. Same goes for you. Just because you happen to have met it doesnt mean anyone else they might have found attractive is now ugly.