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Semen-Based recipes

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I can't breathe!
 
Omg normal gaf is funny but ot gaf fucking kills me. I was reading this at work where my boss sits kiddy corner to me. Had to stifle so many laughs. Also yeah no way.
 
Weren't the benefits only tested with the vaginal creampie use case?

Who said it had to be human semen?

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ugh.

Horse semen has to taste better than liquor, so why not?

I read somewhere you would need to consume about 10 gallons of semen to equal your daily protein quota.

That is stunningly inaccurate. It's 50% protein by weight so that would be at least 40 pounds of protein. Recommended is 56 grams.
 
I guess you never have to run to the store to get this milk.
 
Some of these actually look delicious. Where do you get the semen in bulk though? And how do you know it's safe? Will this be explained in the book? I'll actually consider purchasing if these are discussed in the book.
 
"Skip the recipes and get it straight from the source. How to turn your body into a self-perpetuating energy machine! Chefs and bakers will hate you! More after the jump..."
 
Some of these actually look delicious. Where do you get the semen in bulk though? And how do you know it's safe? Will this be explained in the book? I'll actually consider purchasing if these are discussed in the book.

Just borrow extra from the neighbors
 
Who said it had to be human semen?

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ugh.

One of the Jackass guys did one of these in one of the movies...Steve O maybe? It was probably Steve O >_>

Edit: but that fear factor one is 10 times worse wtf
 
Wait. If I ejaculate into a jar like a jillion times and then shake the jar really hard, will it turn into butter?
 
I remember eating something once that I thought was topped with whipped cream, but it definitely didn't taste like it. It's hard to describe exactly, but at the time the only thing I could think of was that it could have been semen. As a result, I started gagging and had to surreptitiously spit it into a napkin. It was gross.
 
Wait. If I ejaculate into a jar like a jillion times and then shake the jar really hard, will it turn into butter?

Well you'll definitely have the butter churning motion down by then at least
 
Yeah I have. It's like, phlegmy. No wonder not every guy or girl is game on swallowin' it.

It all depends on what you eat really, but I can understand that some people don't like to swallow. Depending on what someone eats, it can be a bit too thick. Personally, I always found eating more fruits in your diet lessens the thickness of the semen and makes it more easier to swallow.
 
"My girlfriend and I just love this cookbook. She takes care of the actual cooking part and I am responsible for gathering the ingredients. We were delighted to find the ethnic food sections and are exploring the Asian cuisine this week. I gotta tell you though the Cream of Sumyoungguy is not for the faint of heart. It called for 1/2 cup of the err, special sauce. She said it was divine but honestly, I was just too tired to eat.

UPDATE: So it's been several months and I need to update my review. Because the book doesn't have any specific disclaimers I think it's important that readers be warned of potential issues... The first "issue" I experienced was Forearm Imbalance. My co-workers started noticing that my right forearm was considerably more defined and at least 3/4" larger than my left forearm. It's not like Popeye big but it's still pretty embarrassing. I tried some, shall we say, "load balancing" by switching arms for the collection process but my I find my left arm is just inattentive, always in a hurry and not tuned into my needs. Inevitably, I have to switch back to the right arm to get the job done.

The second "issue" is I have recently been diagnosed with Low T. Now, I'm not gonna come right out and say this book as caused my condition but darn it, if there were health risks with gathering ingredients for this book there needs to be a warning label. I mean, even my aspirin bottle says "Do not exceed xx number of pills per day." Can you -overcook- with this cookbook? We need to demand answers. I was extremely close to investing in a food truck and taking some of these dishes (and a few I came up with) to work sites and carnivals all over my state. I had already lined up several work-from-home employees to supplement my ingredient supply line. I just can't in good conscience ask these young men to work 6, 7, 8 hours per day if there is even the slightest chance of adverse effects.

So the bottom line is this: Use this book with caution. Use your head(s). Moderation in all things."

Amazon review - 5 stars
 
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