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[Uchigatana]

It's on my mind for a while now, and I am trying to comprehend the situation. I never understood why some people can be taciturn and have a major attitude problem at the same time. Recently, I was stuck with this one guy in a group project. My group had to do come up with a cyclic menu and food budgeting for a local Elementary school. My group did some brainstorming, and my group had trouble coming up with ideas. Then the aloof guy finally spoke up and gave his suggestion. His idea sounds great and the professor approved his suggestions. Afterwards, I gave him a gratitude for coming up with great suggestions on the project. However, he responds with a discontent look, and said, "don't give me that crap" and looks at his phone afterwards.

At first, I would assume that he had a bad day. As the days go by, his negative attitude is very consistent. Normally, I would shrug it off and work on the group project. However, It's not just my university where I dealt with people like my classmate. Even in a workplace environment, working with someone with an aloof personality, it's like I'm in lose-lose situation. When things need to be done, I get that nasty vitrol just from working along side "that" co-worker even though I'm just doing my job. How the hell some people can tolerate with others who are so distant and bitter? Despite having a common goal, the person's vitrol personality can really rub me the wrong way.

 

[Baron Doggystyle von Woof]

Insecure + fear = socially awkward.

 

[99hertz]

I'm an aloof person but I'm also very polite. I don't understand people like that. By being asshole you have to interact even more with other people.

 

[Ivan 3414]

Aloof?

You sure he's not just an asshole?

 

[Uchigatana]

Aloof?

You sure he's not just an asshole?

No, the people I encounter in my life, they are very quiet. For instance, you interact with them, and they stood silent with their disapproval expression . When they talk, they give you a "fuck off" attitude. It's like, what did I do to deserve this?

 

[milanbaros]

That's not aloof, that's just being a dick.

Aloof is distant and uninvolved. He was neither.

 

[krioto]

This guy thinks you're an idiot, and hates that you used 'do' in conjunction with 'are' and wants you to choose just one of them

 

[Hoo-doo]

So he has great ideas and he's kind of a dick to other people?

Yeah, that guy is probably going to be CEO someday.

 

[Hellwarden]

He might have trouble taking compliments due to low self-esteem op.

Or maybe he's just not a friendly guy.

In either case, it's best to just not let him bother you.

 

[Alx]

My group had to do come up with a cyclic menu and food budgeting for a local Elementary school. My group did some brainstorming, and my group had trouble coming up with ideas. Then the aloof guy finally spoke up and gave his suggestion. His idea sounds great and the professor approved his suggestions. Afterwards, I gave him a gratitude for coming up with great suggestions on the project. However, he responds with a discontent look, and said, "don't give me that crap" and looks at his phone afterwards.

From that quick description, it would fit a common scenario with smart but introvert people. They don't like to be praised by people they can't help but feel aren't as smart, because they think it's both embarrassing and undeserved. It's a mix of superiority complex and impostor syndrome.
You just have to learn to deal with those people, direct congratulations won't have the same effect on everybody. Sometimes you should replace "wow thanks for what you did !" by a generic "that was a great idea".
Also the group leader has to make sure that everybody contributes to the discussion from the beginning, without necessarily pushing them too much ("hey Bob, what do you think ? You haven't said anything yet..."), otherwise the introverts would just stay in a corner thinking on their own and sometimes building frustration ("what a bunch of morons, running around like headless chickens, they're not going anywhere...").

That's one of the specific tasks of management, you can't expect everybody to fit your group dynamics, you have to work for it. And it's indeed more difficult with some people than others, but that was probably the point of your group project.

 

[Uchigatana]

He might have trouble taking compliments due to low self-esteem op.

Or maybe he's just not a friendly guy.

In either case, it's best to just not let him bother you.

I try to shrug it off, but I do encounter people like him from time to time. It's one those situations where I tell myself, "aw, shit! This again? Time to deal with his attitude."

From that quick description, it would fit a common scenario with smart but introvert people. They don't like to be praised by people they can't help but feel aren't as smart, because they think it's both embarrassing and undeserved. It's a mix of superiority complex and impostor syndrome.
You just have to learn to deal with those people, direct congratulations won't have the same effect on everybody. Sometimes you should replace "wow thanks for what you did !" by a generic "that was a great idea".
Also the group leader has to make sure that everybody contributes to the discussion from the beginning, without necessarily pushing them too much ("hey Bob, what do you think ? You haven't said anything yet..."), otherwise the introverts would just stay in a corner thinking on their own and sometimes building frustration ("what a bunch of morons, running around like headless chickens, they're not going anywhere...").

That's one of the specific tasks of management, you can't expect everybody to fit your group dynamics, you have to work for it. And it's indeed more difficult with some people than others, but that was probably the point of your group project.

Wow, that's a great advice! I did not realize that certain phrases can have different interpretations for other people. I may have to adjust my mindset the next time I'm working with people like my group member.

 

[titiklabingapat]

Aloof does not meant you have to be an impolite asshole.

 

[Violet_0]

that's below my concern