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Should I be worried here?? (potential affair)

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SecretDestroyer said:
Why deprive her of fully enjoying the only life she will ever have by imposing unnecessary rules. People can manage complex webs of sexual relationships just as easily as they can non-sexual relationships once all of the silly taboos and dogma are removed.

Telling my spouse he could not mess around with people he was turned on by would be equivalent to telling him he could not eat dinner with anyone but me.
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First, we don't know if they are really having an affair.

Second, some people have open relationships that work, a lot don't.

Don't sit here and argue like your ideas are better/superior than everyones monogamous ideas.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
Why deprive her of fully enjoying the only life she will ever have by imposing unnecessary rules. People can manage complex webs of sexual relationships just as easily as they can non-sexual relationships once all of the silly taboos and dogma are removed.

Telling my spouse he could not mess around with people he was turned on by would be equivalent to telling him he could not eat food that was prepared by other people.
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Are you male or female?
 
Here's what it sounds like to me mystic.

She met someone at work who she is attracted to and who is attracted to her. They get along well and she likes the attention. I doubt anything has happened yet and there is a good chance nothing ever will.

OR

This guy is more attractive than you and she has never gotten attention from someone she considers out of her league and she is testing the waters for a possible relationship.

I'd say it's more likley it's the first scenerio.

Important question, do you have any children together?
 
SecretDestroyer said:
How about getting over your schoolboy jealousies and exploring a more rational approach to human relationships.

EVERY person in EVERY relationship is sexually excited by people outside of that relationship, and most WILLl act on that at some point. It is completely natural.

I think it is cruel to impose a standard on a partner that requires they fight their natural urges and in the process create internal conflict and strife within themselves. Ultimately most will act on their urges and the sort of suspicion and hurt that causes is just not conducive to a healthy relationship.

The best approach is to simply be open and upfront about it. If she is interested in someone else, let her know it is OK for her to experiment.

If you can get over your jealousy issues you might even find yourself turned on by your partner being with someone else, her sexual arousal around other men.
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I don't think you've ever been in a relationship before. This is horrible advice.
 
Ninja Scooter said:
jim-pam.jpg
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Didn't they end up together? :lol

Or was that the joke?

One of my best female friends was also my coworker, and we'd text each other random shit all the time, even when we were in relationships, even outside of work. Of course, neither of us was fucking married or even close to it. All I'm saying is it's not unheard of, even in real life.
 
Cooter said:
Here's what it sounds like to me mystic.

She met someone at work who she is attracted to and who is attracted to her. They get along well and she likes the attention. I doubt anything has happened yet and there is a good chance nothing ever will.

OR

This guy is more attractive than you and she has never gotten attention from someone she considers out of her league and she is testing the waters for a possible relationship.

I'd say it's more likley it's the first scenerio.

Important question, do you have any children together?
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No children. All we have is a joint checking acct.
 
DeathNote said:
First, we don't know if they are really having an affair.
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The statistics speak for themselves, even if she isn't having an affair right now it is likely that she has in the past, or will in the future. And even that is only the tip of the iceberg, because for every time she actually acts on her urges there are likely many others when she denied herself and experienced negative emotions as a result.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
The statistics speak for themselves, even if she isn't having an affair right now it is likely that she has in the past, or will in the future. And even that is only the tip of the iceberg, because for every time she actually acts on her urges there are likely many others when she denied herself and experienced negative emotions as a result.
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this is you isn't it?

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=12088614&postcount=160
 
I went down a similar road years ago. Confront her, and get the hurt over with so that you can move onto a better life. I wasted so much time trying to fix a failed relationship. Now I am 1000 times better off for getting out of it.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
The statistics speak for themselves, even if she isn't having an affair right now it is likely that she has in the past, or will in the future. And even that is only the tip of the iceberg, because for every time she actually acts on her urges there are likely many others when she denied herself and experienced negative emotions as a result.
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Statistics are useless to the individual.

And if she isn't cheating, asking for an open relationship would most likely KILL the relationship.
 
I would definately put this issue to bed before you consider having children.

Secret, are you gay? I know many gay men that have open relationships and it works for a while but rarely see any long term relationships work. Not to say it doesn't happen but it isn't common. That being said, I think it's easier in a gay relationship than straight. Especially gay males.
 
I have a solution for you, OP. I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I, uh, I
believe it's Ménage à Trois?
 
That high a number of texts is weird, as is the fact that she is deleting them off her phone. You should just ask why she went over on her text messages and why she sent so many messages to that number, and ask what the number is. See what she says.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
I've been with my spouse for over ten very blissful years.
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Well seeing that you're bi and that you could be the guy who sent the confession that Ronito quoted, I believe you. It's still horrible advice for a straight relationship though.
 
Uncle said:
MMF isn't really all that great.
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I would beg to differ.

I don't think you can beat the experience of a woman going wild with lust when she can feel one guy in her and taste another with her mouth at the same time.
 
confront her. don't be all accusing about it, but just ask her honestly. because nothing is more of a burn than getting an std from your wife that she got from some guy shes playing with on the side.
 
SpacLock said:
Well seeing that you're bi and that you could be the guy who sent the confession that Ronito quoted, I believe you. It's still horrible advice for a straight relationship though.
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Please, everyone has both same gender and opposite gender attraction. There is no difference in the feelings, just in the sort of taboos and restrictions you place on them.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
Please, everyone has both same gender and opposite gender attraction. There is no difference in the feelings, just in the sort of taboos and restrictions you place on them.
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Generalize much?
 
SecretDestroyer said:
Please, everyone has both same gender and opposite gender attraction. There is no difference in the feelings, just in the sort of taboos and restrictions you place on them.
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:lol
 
SecretDestroyer said:
I've been with my spouse for over ten very blissful years.
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My parents have been together for over thirty blissful years. Arguing that monogamy is somehow preventing either of them from attaining happiness is pretty silly.

Some people can be in an open relationship and enjoy it. Other's can't. You can argue that it's society all you want, but some people like knowing that their spouse isn't giving themselves away emotionally or sexually because often times, they become one and the same. Based off this thread, you have very definitive and narrow ideas about relationships. Just because something applies to you and your relationship doesn't mean it applies to everyone else's.
 
I think she's just flirting with the guy over txt. Maybe out of sheer boredom.

Don't know if you'd be ok with that, but yeah I don't think she's cheating you in the physical sense. Not yet, at least.

Also I must admit I like her style. Leaving everything open for you to look and browse. Perfect way to get any suspicion off of her. Cunning. :D
 
SecretDestroyer said:
Please, everyone has both same gender and opposite gender attraction. There is no difference in the feelings, just in the sort of taboos and restrictions you place on them.
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No they don't. Bi's do, others don't. I have never been sexually attracted to other guy.
 
Darklord said:
No they don't. Bi's do, others don't. I have never been sexually attracted to other guy.
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That's just society holding you back. Just admit you like dick and your life will be so much better.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
I would beg to differ.

I don't think you can beat the experience of a woman going wild with lust when she can feel one guy in her and taste another with her mouth at the same time.
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You're turning me on, dude.
 
Cooter said:
Generalize much?
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It's not generalization, same gender attraction is ubiquitous among both men and women. To what degree is left to individual variation, but there is no question how pervasive it actually is.

I doubt there are many people here who have not been attracted, aroused, or actually engaged in sexual activity with individuals of both genders, regardless of what "orientation" they subscribe to.
 
SecretDestroyer said:
It's not generalization, same gender attraction is ubiquitous among both men and women. To what degree is left to individual variation, but there is no question how pervasive it actually is.

I doubt there are many person here who have not been attracted, aroused, or actually engaged in sexual activity with individuals of both genders, regardless of what "orientation" they subscribe to.
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wat
 
SecretDestroyer said:
Please, everyone has both same gender and opposite gender attraction. There is no difference in the feelings, just in the sort of taboos and restrictions you place on them.
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But GAF told me that homosexuality wasn't a choice.
 
So Secret, being a man, would I be lying if I told you I have no attratcion to men?

I've got a feeling that your response is that I'm in denial. How close am I?
 
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