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[Aomber]

Unpopular opinion, but as a non-American who attended American university I personally think any social fraternity is a complete joke. You basically are paying for friends, people can sugarcoat it if they want but that's what it is, not to mention in many cases those "friends" are the one who put you through hell and back in the pledging process.

I would say especially considering partying isn't your thing I'd get out now.

 

[jstripes]

OP? Have you never heard of fraternities before?

 

[xDUMPWEEDx]

damn that's a meme blast from the meme past.

The first thing I could think of when I thought of fraternities lol.

 

[hoserx]

The first thing I could think of when I thought of fraternities lol.

it brightened my day.

 

[Common Knowledge]

Joining a co-ed fraternity during college was one of the best decisions I've made for my social life and overall well-being for my early adult life, but being that it was co-ed and also an honors fraternity, I'm sure it was quite a different experience than your standard frat-house, all-guy organization. We did a lot of partying, sure, but also a lot of community service, learning events, and non-drinking social gatherings. Plus a lot more diverse demographics due to its nature. The typical frat experience never appealed to me. If you aren't enjoying it thus far, I'd echo the other people here and say get out now.

 

[ZOONAMI]

Dbag party central.

 

[haimon]

This. Thats the entire point of fraternities no?

Greek fraternities give incredible connections after school.

 

[zeemumu]

Has Sloane been lying about the Loom of Fate?

 

[jstripes]

As a non-American I really have no idea what fraternities do or what the point of them is.

stay in it and you get jobs forever, as far as i know.

What this guy said. Beyond being an excuse to drink and party with douchebags and date rapists every night, it's a pretty good way to secure your future. The connections people make in fraternities last a lifetime and get them good jobs they would otherwise be unqualified for.

That said, I still think frats are generally reprehensible.

 

[hydruxo]

I think the vast majority of fraternities are worthless. Most don't do anything productive and the brothers literally just join to drink and party. You can make friends elsewhere, you don't need a frat for that. I rushed in college and I'm so, so, so glad I didn't end up pledging to any of the ones that offered to have me join. Half the frats at my school ended up getting kicked out for various reasons. Get out while you still can.

 

[Aomber]

What this guy said. Beyond being an excuse to drink and party with douchebags and date rapists every night, it's a pretty good way to secure your future. The connections people make in fraternities last a lifetime and get them good jobs they would otherwise be unqualified for.

You also gotta ask yourself if that's how you want to get your job.

 

[jstripes]

You also gotta ask yourself if that's how you want to get your job.

Me? Hell no. But I can't speak for everyone. :/

 

[gugi40]

You should leave it, you sound like a decent person so you may regret staying in it if you choose to do so.

 

[Raptomex]

I never understood Fraternities or Sororities for that matter. As far as I can tell, they're just glorified clubs. But maybe I'm wrong? I don't see why you have to join a club to drink and party but whatever. I'm guessing the more academic-focused ones are a bit more productive? But I still don't get it.

 

[Aomber]

Me? Hell no. But I can't speak for everyone. :/

Oh ya, sorry I didn't mean you specifically haha I was talking generally speaking. But yeah I'm with you, at the end of the day I hung out at frats and I didn't like a single person I met. I will admit I went to a pretty notoriously bad frat university but I haven't heard of a college where the stereotype isn't true.

As someone else mentioned sometimes co-ops can be more civil and/or academic though.

 

[Squirrel Killer]

Social fraternities are about guys having shared experiences to bond. Lots of college aged guys like to drink and party. If all this frat wants to do is drink and party, and you don't, then it's not a good fit and you should bow out.

Less than a week in to is, however, makes me wonder if you've seen what this particular fraternity is really all about. Perhaps rather than just quitting, you could talk to the pledge coordinator and see if it's a good fit or not. They may have done a lot of partying the first weekend because they think that's what pledges want and they'll hit intramurals, socials, academics, and/or philanthropies later. Or maybe that is the limit of their socialization.

On a related point, how big is the college you're at? If you're at a big one, unless you're going to replace it with some other club, I'd give the frat the old college try. I've always recommended finding some way to shrink a big college a bit by joining something. I would've been lost had I not joined the clubs I did.

 

[Jeronimo Jones]

You haven't really been associated with it long enough to consider it leaving, so yeah, do you if you're not feeling it.

I held several leadership positions in my fraternity back in college, meet new brothers from other places/years occasionally, still hang out when we can, and several of my brothers from college were in our wedding this summer.

Not to take this in completely different direction, but there are/can be some significant cultural differences in the approaches of majority white and majority black greek letter organizations.

 

[Rabid Dwarf 76]

I say stick with it for a little while. You can always leave later if you don't like it. When I was in college I really enjoyed my fraternity. It was super fun for my first two years and I don't regret it for a second. I dropped it during my third year due to my major requiring all my time though. It's been 7 years since I graduated and I still hang out and stay in touch with a lot of the dudes I met through it. All and all it was a great experience.

 

[dhlt25]

just join an honor society, also has the greek name but full of fellow nerds.

 

[Rival]

.

 

[carlsojo]

Stick with it and get out of your shell. Parties can be a great way to meet people.

 

[DorkLord54]

I was an ΣΑΕ for 4 years. Being in a chapter where you feel connected to the others is very important. Don’t do something to do not want to do.

If you decide to stay do they offer study tables? That’s where a lot of our guys would hang during the week and get stuff done even if they didn’t go out on the weekends. Plus we always had other events going on that were not just socials with sororities.

Plus there is always other groups on campus that be could be a better fit for what you like. Visit your office of student involvement and ask.

Off-topic, but completely serious:

How do the recent scandals about SAE affect your viewpoint of your old frat?

 

[Dreams-Visions]

You haven't really been associated with it long enough to consider it leaving, so yeah, do you if you're not feeling it.

I held several leadership positions in my fraternity back in college, meet new brothers from other places/years occasionally, still hang out when we can, and several of my brothers from college were in our wedding this summer.

Not to take this in completely different direction, but there are/can be some significant cultural differences in the approaches of majority white and majority black greek letter organizations.

indeed.

 

[toneroni]

Sounds like you havent joined it yet.

This.
You didn't pledge yet boi

 

[PatzCU]

So you are saying you don't want to hang out with this guy every night?

I would argue that his collared shirt is just the right size.

To the OP, plenty of people in my fraternity opted not to party that much. You will get out of it what you put in. Some of my best friends in life were made in my fraternity. I did; however, opt not to live in the fraternity house ever and so I think that made the whole experience better.

 

[mernst23]

Honestly it depends. There are tons of positives and negatives to joining a frat.

The case for: the most important thing about being in a frat is that you genuinely have to like enough people to be friends with them. If you don't get along with people or the other guys you are bidding in with, get out because they are using you to shore up their numbers hoping you'll come around to their way of thinking. If you think there are 3 or 4 guys you'd be friends with, that's my cutoff point for where it becomes worthwhile. Second, networking. Depending on how well the alumni network is setup, you absolutely can cash on this when you get out of school. The frat I was in was run extremely poorly in this regard, but I've heard stories of people cashing in on these connections befote. My only contribution to my career was that my hiring manager in my initial interview was in a frat (not mine) and as a result my paper thin resume of my degree and frat leadership positions are all we talked about. Third, you will absolutely meet more girls as a result of your connection in the fraternity. And no, they are not served up to you drugged up and drunk like some people in this thread would have you believe. Mainly, they will be friends of people in the frat. In this regard, this is how I met my wife. A guy in my frat organized a trip to a baseball game like 3 years after we graduated. He invited someone he knew from high school, and that's where I met my wife for the first time.

The case against: You will have some shady as fuck people around. This weed out process to bid people in does not get everyone. Shady people who push drugs and do questionable sit will exist, the question is how many of them will there be. Second, hazing could be a thing. I experienced it and while it was relatively tame outside of some forced exercise and "forced" house chores, I have heard of places that take it too far and use physical attacks and sexual misconduct in what they do. If that's the case, get out immediately.

The neutral points: "paying for your friends" I always found this to be a joke because it was way more expensive to live in the dorms or an apartment then it was living in a frat house. Even our out of house membership fee was ridiculously cheap for an entire year and got me daily lunch, a parking spot, and plenty of alcohol to cover the cost.


I think your decision is completely dependant on the situation.

 

[finalflame]

Yah, it doesn't sound like your value are aligned. I'd probably dip. Last I checked, frat dues are not cheap and you'll definitely be pressured constantly to be social and take part in house events, etc.

 

[Morts]

I think I saw an article floating around last week about how fraternity membership correlates with higher future earnings.

 

[carlsojo]

At least give it a semester. Fall is an amazing time on campus and you'll have all kinds of cool shit to do with your frat.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Is it the Skull and Bones fraternity? Are you Illuminati, OP?

 

[Rocketz]

Off-topic, but completely serious:

How do the recent scandals about SAE affect your viewpoint of your old frat?

No, because the chapters that got disbanded got what the deserved. I know what I went through and everything I learned and was taught does not reflect some of the crap that's happened like the chapter from Oklahoma that got shit canned for that song. I never ever heard of it until the story broke.

I'm happy with the time I had in the chapter and I wouldn't change my view on it as a whole because some other one's were being assholes.

 

[WGMBY]

Fraternities aren't a good fit for everyone, but I ended up becoming much more social because of joining a fraternity, so it ended up as a good experience for me. Still talk to my pledge class every few days.

I also went to a super nerdy university, so there were plenty of non-douchey brothers to hang out with. From what I've heard I had a pretty easy experience, even compared to other fraternities at my school.

To OP, maybe give it another week to see if you're more comfortable? But if you're SURE this isn't your scene, then dropping out earlier in the pledge process is definitely the right choice. It gets harder to leave the further into pledging, partially because you'll know the people better, and partially because you've already gone through a lot and you might feel you should keep pushing through to make it to the end.

Expect brothers to try to convince you to stay as well. Houses are funded by dues, so they have an interest in keeping you onboard.

Best of luck, whichever you choose.

 

[cwmartin]

Unpopular opinion, but as a non-American who attended American university I personally think any social fraternity is a complete joke. You basically are paying for friends, people can sugarcoat it if they want but that's what it is, not to mention in many cases those "friends" are the one who put you through hell and back in the pledging process.

I would say especially considering partying isn't your thing I'd get out now.

As an American who attended American university, this opinion is not unpopular. Pretty much everyone thinks this.

 

[Travo]

Op, you can probably find an alternative fraternity that focuses on community service rather partying. Just do a little research to see if one is a fit for you.

 

[Swimmer9800]

I just went and spoke with my educator and they were totally cool with me leaving. He was incredibly understanding and said that I was welcome back any time.

 

[WrenchNinja]

Good to hear. Find your own path, you don't have to follow your grampa's.

 

[Ogodei]

Fraternities CAN be a good way to make connections (a secret, crucial part of college), but it's not the only way to do it. If you're not having fun (after having made an effort to do so!), then it's not for you.

Also you can join service frats or clubs if you're really out to make some kickass connections.

 

[Slammin_Hammon]

Well looks like you already made your decision, but to chime in anyways, on one hand if you get cold feet in the first week it probably isn't for you, but on the other hand it doesn't hurt to stick around and get to know the members and get a better idea of the organization before making judgements.