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Should I tell an acquaintance he's being cheated on?

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I would tell, dude needs to know he is with a cheater and its his choice whether he is ok with that or not.
 
I'd want to know if my SO as cheating on me. And even though I don't like how you obtained the info, I like the cheating behaviour way less. From an outsider's view that doesn't know any person involved, that guy deserves better, just like you deserved better. But then again, like I said, I don't know any person involved. So yeah, I am a torn on this to be honest. In the end, I wouldn't blame the guy that tipped me on a cheating SO though (especially if there is evidence/reason to believe said person).
 
Do it as anonymously as possible but do it. Golden rule in full effect, let him know. I wouldn't say conniving people are bad but yeah.
 
Do it, I'd like to know. That's what I've told my buddies at least and wouldn't mind a stranger letting me know also. I'd hate to be taken advantage of.
 
tell him. everyone deserves to know if they're being cheated on.

do it anonymously if you don't want get too involved. provide the evidence.
 
I usually think it's the right thing to let people know, but just keep in mind your ex and this girl will likely spin it, you'll be painted as the crazy ex, and given the boyfriend isn't really your friend, he really doesn't have a reason to believe you over them, evidence or not.

Regardless of what you do, be thankful your your ex and her garbage friend aren't a part of your life anymore, distance yourself and block her.
 
StarCreator said:
I don't know if it's been suggested, but I would probably actually go to Kris and tell her that you know and ask if she's told the boyfriend about it. You could even bring up the potential STD issue as a valid reason for him to know. It would be best for everyone involved if Kris were the one to confess to it; you telling the guy directly would probably destroy the relationship, and you don't really have the insight into the situation to know if this was a one time thing or if she is going to end up doing what your ex did to you.
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I agree. The guy definitely deserves to know, but he should hear it from his own girlfriend. OP, if you really want to involve yourself in this, please talk to Kris and ask her for some follow up. The conversation you found was 6 months old - she may have confessed since then, gotten tested and come up clean...there's a lot of missing information and you can apply pressure to her to do the right thing (if she hasn't already). It seems like you're close enough with Kris to be in a position to talk to her this way.
 
Zakalwe said:
It's none of OP's business, and it was information found via snooping.

Shitty idea to get involved. Move on and cut all ties.
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If he's cutting all ties anyway he has nothing to lose. The only thing that could possibly come from this is positive in that it helps the guy out. If the guy doesn't care, then being told wont matter. And if he's cutting 'ties' with these people then it wouldn't have any negative effect on him anyhow.
 
Zakalwe said:
It's none of OP's business, and it was information found via snooping.

Shitty idea to get involved. Move on and cut all ties.
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Meh this also may lead to a potential marriage, I think the guy should know who he is marrying, she has done it once she can do it again. At least it will save him money and future hardships if he finds out after they potentially get married
 
Enter The 36 Chambers said:
Okay.

Any credibility you had saying how sad and upset you were so you snooped is out the fucking window now.

You screenshotted it? And then you posted them here? What the fuck is wrong with you?

All the people encouraging you are just looking for cheap entertainment out of you.

Take a long fucking look at yourself OP.
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So much this.

OP is ten times scarier than either cheater
 
Man.

She raw dogged a rando. Of course you tell him so he can get tested.

Tell him this:

"Yo man, its over between me and X. On the way out I found out that she been cheating on you. Just wanted to give you the heads up before I peace the fuck out. "

You can leave it all behind or stick around and watch it all burn.
 
excelsiorlef said:
So much this.

OP is ten times scarier than either cheater
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I have to disagree with that. I would rather have my girl snoop trough my files if she doesn't trust me or after a painful breakup (not that I would be happy with that, mind you) than her fucking with another guy during the relationship.

Also, I actually know a guy who got an STD trough his girl cheating (several times over the years, as it turned out), so that is a legit warning too.
 
I would tell him/her, but then again I'm a pretty resentful guy. I have very little sympathy for people who cheat on their partners; And if you are a scumbag and ddecide to cheat, then you either hide it well and never confess about it so that you're the only one it'll affect, or you face the consequences for being one either way for being found out.

She'll either never cheat on him again, or she'll get wasted once more and fuck another random guy. She might feel bad now after the fact, but she's the cheater and not the cheated. Since you're one of those who knows about it, you either have sympathy for the cheater in not telling anyone, or have some for the one who's in a relationship with a cheat.

I'd just write her a msg: "you better fucking tell him or I will. No wonder you and (your Ex's name) are besties, keeping each others dirty little fucking secrets company"

Or whatever.
 
dragonflys545 said:
Aren't you exaggerating a bit much here? What majority of people are we talking about?

Everything you just said is base on your own logic or the stuff you read on the internet.
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CryptiK said:
"Heres some statistics that I just pulled out of my ass!" Sir thats just shit. I highly doubt there is any truth to that statement.
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So you tell me, you believe it's the opposite? You believe the vast majority of people are faithful and that the odds of them cheating at some point doesn't increase the longer they've been in a relationship?
 
BunnyBear said:
So, this is complex. On August 17, my ex ended our seven year relationship. She is 27, I'm 30. We had been in a long distance relationship for eights months. She had moved to the UK for the London experience and we had tried to make it work (so, so stupid). It went decently until she came back in May and said she wanted a break. I said no, we either end it or we persevere. We had a New York trip booked for July, so we decided to fight through. New York went well and on the day we left she said she wanted a break. I said no, and I suggested we break up. She refused. We fought on. She finally broke it off four weeks later, saying she wanted to make the most of her time in London and didn't want to be in a relationship. It hurt, but I got it.

WELL. The idiot didn't change her passwords and I saw through Facebook Messenger that she had been cheating on me with another guy at least 5 days before we broke up. No doubt about it. Probably longer. I confront her with the evidence, she admits it, says she also kissed a random in a club in April. I was more mad about the lying and deceit and lack of courage than the cheating because I had always told her to just be honest about everything.

BUT. During my snooping, I came across a conversation where my ex's best friend hysterically confessed she had cheated on her boyfriend of one year. They seemed madly in love. The conversation was from March, so six months ago. She went the full way, no condom. She claimed to be super drunk and it meant nothing. Wowee!

I know her boyfriend. He came to my 30th a month ago. Me and him got drunk at a wedding together in May and bonded all night. We're recent FB friends. I wouldn't call him a friend, we haven't hung out since, but he's definitely someone I like and respect and we get along well. So the question is, should I tell him?! Now that I'm separated from my ex, I'll probably never see him again.

I know that I'm raw and because I'm feeling the sting of infidelity myself, I feel I should tell him. Am I wrong? Should I butt out?
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Get all parties involved in a room, get drunk and make daring artistic porn flick where powdered wigs are involved.

(or just ghost em all)
 
lightskintwin said:
So you tell me, you believe it's the opposite? You believe the vast majority of people are faithful and that the odds of them cheating at some point doesn't increase the longer they've been in a relationship?
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Out of all my good and best friends over the years, I have only known of one that was cheating and one that was cheated on. I also got to experience the oanic in his eyes when he was almost caught. So no I dont believe a majority of people cheat at all what kind of people do you hang out with.
 
ramparter said:
Nice. post it on her facebook wall, obviously without the filtered names.
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Oh man, this reminds me of my friend's wife who put him on blast on his and her facebook wall with her evidence of him cheating with a girl we all knew.

The funny part is somehow my name got involved like I told her, which was complete bullshit.
 
Why do people with drama in their lives always talk like people from a bad movie?

See also: Dudes about to get in a fight and people taunting each-other in sports.

Whales said:
???

I swear some people on GAF are fucking with me

snooping is 10 times scarier than cheating on your BF? rofl
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.......yes?

One is a drunken mistake that they regret. The other is taking efforts to subtly control someone without their knowledge.

Honestly, snooping lives in the same house as cheating. Both are trust issues. At least the sex one comes with some physical temptation as an excuse.

I mean, if my wife cheated on me I would be more upset than if she snooped on me. However logically, the snooper is probably the skeezier person.
 
CryptiK said:
Out of all my good and best friends over the years, I have only known of one that was cheating and one that was cheated on. I also got to experience the oanic in his eyes when he was almost caught. So no I dont believe a majority of people cheat at all what kind of people do you hang out with.
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It's not even just people that I hang with, it's observing human behavior in various places that have made me come to that conclusion. And it's not that i believe everybody cheats, it's more complicated than that and there are so many different types of cheaters. It's that I know how fallible and vulnerable humans are and how long term monogamous relationships runs counter to our sexual/animal instincts.

Not to mention, there's some truth to the saying, "You're only as faithful as your options"
 
Send anon message to him: "Your GF cheated on you last summer".

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Not to mention he needs to know if she has passed STD onto him or not.
 
lightskintwin said:
It's not even just people that I hang with, it's observing human behavior in various places that have made me come to that conclusion. And it's not that i believe everybody cheats, it's more complicated than that and there are so many different types of cheaters. It's that I know how fallible and vulnerable humans are and how long term monogamous relationships runs counter to our sexual/animal instincts.

Not to mention, there's some truth to the saying, "You're only as faithful as your options"
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lightskintwin said:
But it feels so much better.
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Huh.
 
Staccat0 said:
Why do people with drama in their lives always talk like people from a bad movie?

See also: Dudes about to get in a fight and people taunting each-other in sports.



.......yes?

One is a drunken mistake that they regret. The other is taking efforts to subtly control someone without their knowledge.

Honestly, snooping lives in the same house as cheating. Both are trust issues. At least the sex one comes with some physical temptation as an excuse.

I mean, if my wife cheated on me I would be more upset than if she snooped on me. However logically, the snooper is probably the skeezier person.
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...No. That one drunken mistake can put someone at the risk of life long diseases. Like christ what do you guys not get. If the person didnt fess up they dont truely regret it especially when they when ahead and did it without a condom.
 
pigeon said:
I mean, I think you should take the message here.

Your girlfriend told you twice that she wanted to sleep with other people while she was in London. You told her that you wanted to break up if that happened. So then it happened and she broke up with you. That...all seems correct?

I think the "five days of cheating" thing seems a bit ridiculous, frankly. It's not like you didn't have advance notice that she was interested in sleeping with someone else. She gave you kind of a lot of warning! You just fought about it and demanded that she choose between sleeping with somebody else and staying with you, and she chose the option you didn't like.

Like she says in the email, she's been wanting to be single for years. Which isn't too surprising, probably, because generally when people go on a year-long trip to a foreign country without their significant other and say they want to have a break, it's a pretty clear indication they're not happy in their current relationship.

I hate to say it, but your relationship's been dead since at least May. You just didn't take it off the machines until August.
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I agree. I also think op is a shittier person than his ex.
 
Staccat0 said:
.......yes?

One is a drunken mistake that they regret. The other is taking efforts to subtly control someone without their knowledge.

Honestly, snooping lives in the same house as cheating. Both are trust issues. At least the sex one comes with some physical temptation as an excuse.

I mean, if my wife cheated on me I would be more upset than if she snooped on me. However logically, the snooper is probably the skeezier person.
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alright. You can enjoy having a gf that cheats on you and uses alcohol as an excuse, i'd rather one who snoops in my stuff once in a while

Really insane, only on gaf will you hear dumb shit like "snooping is worse than cheating" lmfao
 
Whales said:
alright. You can enjoy having a gf that cheats on you and uses alcohol as an excuse, i'd rather one who snoops in my stuff once in a while

Really insane, only on gaf will you hear dumb shit like "snooping is worse than cheating" lmfao
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Snooping after the relationship is done, fantasizing about revenge and posting stolen conversations and sharing private emails is creepy as fuck...
 
Staccat0 said:
I mean, if my wife cheated on me I would be more upset than if she snooped on me. However logically, the snooper is probably the skeezier person.
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The girl hit it raw. I'm sure the actual risk of an STD transmission to her unknowing boyfriend is quite literally "skeezier" then what OP did.

Snooping isn't a great look, but from a public health perspective OP probably should tell this guy.
 
Don't do it, do not do it, stop, you'll only hate yourself afterwards. Just as you said, you're reacting angrily because of the breakup which is fine. Slow down and think this through. Who would this help? Would this make anyone happy? Are you doing this out of some vicarious self-satisfaction?

Move on with your life OP. The best way to be happy is to try and become happy.
 
I would use this metric to determine what to do: Depersonalize it. Flip the people in the situation so you can look at it with less emotion.

So... If you had instead discovered evidence of one of your friends having a drunken one night stand would you tell his girlfriend now?

Do what you do in that situation.
 
This all just seems like high school shit, and you are thirty. Find more mature company and this petty drama stuff may find its way out of your life as well.
 
lightskintwin said:
Boy are you going to go in shock when you realize the majority of people have cheated in a relationship, and if they haven't yet; the likelihood of it happening in the future is pretty high.
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I don't think this is true. The studies I know about this are mostly about married couples, but there the cheating levels around between 10 and 20% of people. I'm sure they're higher in "uncommitted" relationships, but I doubt that over 50% of people cheat there. There are increases for people with more money (i.e. your people with more options) but even those don't push it over 50%.

People are always generally better than you think they are, even when they're awful.
 
Twilight Princess said:
I agree. I also think op is a shittier person than his ex.
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Seriously? She cheats on me after 8 years, doesn't tell me the truth, is already screwing another guy and I'm the bad guy because her password is still my name as it has been for eight years? I read through private conversations and found some heavy stuff.

I'm no angel in this situation, I know that but I don't think I'm as bad as my ex who set his horrible train of fuckery in motion.
 
You need to consider if you're trying to help someone or if you're trying to take out your anger on your ex on someone else.

Your ex was looking for a way out, and you kept clinging on. She took drastic action by cheating on you because apparently moving away and asking repeatedly for a break wasn't getting the job done. It's ok to be mad at her for this, but don't wreck someone else's life just because you can and you're mad right now.
 
Staccat0 said:
Why do people with drama in their lives always talk like people from a bad movie?

See also: Dudes about to get in a fight and people taunting each-other in sports.



.......yes?

One is a drunken mistake that they regret. The other is taking efforts to subtly control someone without their knowledge.

Honestly, snooping lives in the same house as cheating. Both are trust issues. At least the sex one comes with some physical temptation as an excuse.

I mean, if my wife cheated on me I would be more upset than if she snooped on me. However logically, the snooper is probably the skeezier person.
Click to expand...

Considering that a large portion of STDs are transmitted between partners when one has been unfaithful... yes, cheating is much, much worse than snooping.
 
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