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[nowhat]

"Should Microsoft buy X" seems to be a running theme, but with the suggestions ranging from "maybe I could see that happening" to "I don't know what you're smoking, but don't bogart it", I thought we could discuss a more realistic investment.

Pros:

• Can taste great
• Choice of fillings/toppings, depending on the sandwich type

Cons:

• Limited shelf life makes it a short-term investment
• Not really a substitute for a proper meal

The largest risk factor is that the quality is highly variable, not only between sandwiches but especially between vendors. So my suggestion for Microsoft is to shop around and order a couple from different vendors, then after finding a proper one go all in. With estimated $138B cash available, and assuming an average price of $5 for a decent sandwich (buying in bulk will surely bring the price down, but just as a conservative estimate), they could get at least 27.6 billion sandwiches.

Your thoughts?

 

[DonF]

I would be cautious about the sandwich with this kind of market.

 

[cireza]

Buying sandwiches is fine, but with all this cash around, I would buy a company that makes sandwiches. Much better RoI.

 

[Hotspurr]

I think you should spend less time making silly posts and more time playing video games.

Also, sandwiches are overrated, everyone knows 2018 and onward will be all about calzones.

 

[Mr. Grumpy]

Just to point out that we have seen this thread and in the spirit of keeping things light, we're leaving it open and I may even add a poll. We will be keeping an eye on it just to make sure we all behave like decent upstanding human beings.

Let's keep it what it is though, I don't want to see any nasty comments about Microsoft and even morse so, no nasty comments about sandwiches!!!

Vote Bread Gloves!!!! The gloves that put the "love" back into gloves and the.."br" into, OK, forget the "br" bit as it makes no sense. Also forget the "love" bit too, that sounds very different to how it sounded when it was still inside my brain.

 

[Rodolfo Brito]

lol

 

[royox]

Could we share the MS Sandwich with our friends?

 

[Shifty]

Brilliant thread idea, it deserves to exist.

and even morse so, no nasty comments about sandwiches!!!

Bah, time to delete the savage ether I was penning in the compose box then. No sandwich-based mic drops on this day.

 

[Koala Driving a Ferrari]

But is a sandwich really what Microsoft needs to improve their first party lineup right now when they already have so many IPs of their own that they're not using?

Spoiler

(the answer is yes)

Fetch me a chicken, lettuce and mayo sandwich thanks Phil and we'll call it even stevens for cancelling Scalebound.

 

[MaulerX]

"I want my sandwich THIS big. Thanks."

 

[nephilimdj]

 

[WaterAstro]

They'll buy a sandwich restaurant for 1 billion, and then shut it down.

 

[VertigoOA]

Ha!

Microsoft buying company x rumors lately is almost as irritating as switch port begging ... almost.

 

[WaterAstro]

Ha!

Microsoft buying company x rumors lately is almost as irritating as switch port begging ... almost.

Microsoft has an addiction for shutting down studios.

 

[Gormless Noodle]

Nah. Microsoft is a company that forces their corporate culture onto whatever sandwich they acquire and that's even worse for a genuine sandwich than it was for the grilled cheese they ate back in the day.

I say that because I've made sandwiches for em before, I've seen how they devour these things. A sandwich would not be a good fit for them in any way, shape or form. Edibles such as pizzas are far more in line with how Microsoft views eating and would fit in far better in terms of calorie needs although I see Microsoft as a net deficit to pizzas as well still for various reasons. Besides, the sandwiches toppings are not worth much outside of a BLT or hamburgers and frankly, even those don't get anywhere close to what MS wants to see. Peanut butter, jelly, salami etc etc etc have absolutely no value to a company like MS and it's completely not in line with what they've been doing in the Xbone era.

 

[VertigoOA]

Microsoft has an addiction for shutting down studios.

Studios shut down all the time and it's never great news but it happens and great games are still being made. So be it.

 

[Arkhan]

They could buy Subway and have themed sandwiches. The Spartan Sub, the Veggie Crackdown, the Gears of Boar Sub etc.
Don't lie to me and pretend you wouldn't buy one, with your bonus digital item so your avatar can hold a sub.

 

[Snoopycat]

They'd probably charge a monthly subscription for the butter

 

[verruckt93]

Microsoft please buy sandwich maker

 

[RokkanStoned]

They'll start with the Xbox Sandwich Core Edition, focused towards nordic culture's preference for minimalism and as an extremely affordable entry option.

Then there'll be the Xbox Sandwich Premium Edition (2 slices of ham), the All-American Sandwich, for those seeking the true functionality of the Xbox Sandwich. We might triple the ham slices at a later time when the new Xbox Sandwich Premium Edition launches.

Then, for those True Sandwich Connoisseurs who seek the best of the best, the highest of quality, no compromise, we have the Xbox Sandwich Elite. Its darker finish on both the bread and the salad gives a feeling of exclusivity and owning one will certainly instill in you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Accessories!?
The Xbox Sandwich always caters to your needs, offering numerous accessories to enrich your Xbox Sandwich experience.

The Xbox Sandwich Holder, for those who can't stand getting your hands all dirty while enjoying your Xbox Sandwich.

Then to protect your Xbox Sandwich and those hours of fun together, we offer you the Xbox Sandwich Box. Why not protect your investment and ensure its safety during travel? Check out Subway for Sandwich Protection, for even further protection of your Xbox Sandwich.

Oh, but wait--

The Xbox Sandwich Box: Skyrim Edition! We have worked together with the people at Bethesda to bring you everyone's favorite Skyrim, so that you can be the coolest kid with your Xbox Sandwich. Try it together with the release of the Dragonborn filling for Xbox Sandwich and other Sandwiches.

 

[rokkerkory]

Only if the ketchup n mustard dont become exclusive!!

 

[Hissing Sid]

Hah. Yeah they’d sell two slices of bread as the base model with payment options for spreads and fillings.

In-bap-purchases, as it were.

Please, don’t hit me.

 

[nowhat]

*the whole post*

Thank you sir/madam, that was a truly outstanding post.

And to all, the point of the original post was not to stir a controversy of any kind, just to have some silly fun. By the looks of it, most have got the point, so let us continue.

 

[DonF]

Ha!

Microsoft buying company x rumors lately is almost as irritating as switch port begging ... almost.

My most hated thread is the "This indie game with no marketing sold X times more on switch"

 

[VertigoOA]

My most hated thread is the "This indie game with no marketing sold X times more on switch"

Or when people hype up generic piece of trash like it's AAA because it's announced for switch? Yea, it's dumb as hell -- I remember buying The Conduit, Deadly creatures, and de blob on the Wii because the of biased as fuck Nintendo defense force of GAF. Give me a fuckin' break. Buahahahhah TRASH!

 

[Blam]

MAN MICROSOFT BETTER BUY A GOD DAMN ROAST BEEF SANDWICH WITH SOME MAYO.

 

[VAL0R]

Announcing XBOX FOOD PASS! **Unlimited XBOX themed Sandwiches for $199.00/month**

Now featuring the Halo collection:
- The Master Beef N' Cheddar!
- Battered fish filets with Tartarus sauce!
- 343 Gravy Spark!
- The Pastrami of Regret!
- Commander Cheese!
- Forward Unto Yawn!

 

[The Scrivener]

Yeah, and they're buying the same sandwich as the customer in front of them, which is Nintendo. They do it every time they go in for another round of sandwiches every six years or so. The customer in front always happens to be at the forefront of choosing sandwiches which expand taste and advance the technical possibilities of sandwiches. And Microsoft just say "I'll have what he had please..."

 

[gradient]

If they buy a sandwich then they risk being seen to have snubbed pizza. The ramifications and social implications could be catastrophic.

 

[michaelius]

Where's the Microsoft should buy Thor 2 instead answer ?

 

[ScrapBrain]

They should buy subway so I can purchase the most powerful home sandwich known to man: The Footlong One X

 

[The Shepard]

This thread is making me hungry.

 

[gradient]

They should buy subway so I can purchase the most powerful home sandwich known to man: The Footlong One X

I... I don't think that's a sandwich.

 

[Gold_Loot]

Only if the sandwich is edible on the Switch.

 

[rokkerkory]

Announcing XBOX FOOD PASS! **Unlimited XBOX themed Sandwiches for $199.00/month**

Now featuring the Halo collection:
- The Master Beef N' Cheddar!
- Battered fish filets with Tartarus sauce!
- 343 Gravy Spark!
- The Pastrami of Regret!
- Commander Cheese!
- Forward Unto Yawn!

Unlimited food for $199 a month? Sign me up

 

[michaelius]

They should buy subway so I can purchase the most powerful home sandwich known to man: The Footlong One X

If Microsoft bough Subway we would have to pay extra for each ingredient inside their sandwich

 

[Bryank75]

The question is; what type of sandwich?

 

[ScrapBrain]

If Microsoft bough Subway we would have to pay extra for each ingredient inside their sandwich

Free game Sandwich for 1556.81 USD

 

[Kamina]

Posting in legendary thread

Also i have that song in my head now...”Aint no sandwich when she’s gone....”

 

[Codes 208]

What about a pizza sammich? Calzones are delicious.

 

[Kacho]

Absolutely!

This is by far a much more interesting suggestion than the other threads because the possibilities are endless. With that said, I do think they should only buy a sandwich with Boar's Head though. Anything lesser would be a dissapointment tbh.

 

[FireEmoji]

Have a few other companies already bought sandwiches successfully and dominated the market, leaving little room for late-comer sandwich buying success?

Otherwise not sure MS would be interested.

JK MS, we <3 u

 

[FloatingIslands]

It would be better for them if they bought the recipe for the sandwich. That way, they could prepare as many as they want at a lower cost than buying one. In the long run, they would save enough money to invest in R&D to create a better recipe and thus, a happier belly

 

[Bryank75]

 

[Blam]

I need a sandwich sandwich, a sandwich is what I need
Hey hey
Well I need a sandwich sandwich, a sandwich is what I need
Hey hey
And I said I need sandwich sandwich, a sandwich is what I need
And if I share with you my dollar would you share your sandwich with me

 

[iconmaster]

Could they buy a sandwich? Sure they could. But let's think outside the lunchbox. More portable. Maybe some Lunchables? Or a juice box?

 

[Lionel Richie]

Sandwich
Sandwich
Wich
Witch

Banjo 3 confirmed.

 

[Trogdor1123]

Haha, we did a poll at work through an online forum of a hotdogs status. It was divisive!

 

[gspat]

It would have to be a hell of a good sandwich...

I'm already heavily invested in Sony's all-inclusive pizza line.

 

[Ecto311]

This is the kind of thread that makes me wish we had an ignore button. We have a watch button but no way to ignore or unsee threads. Also no they should focus on their own sandwich or make sandwiches for android.