NHarmonic.
Member
Tell your friend to just do it. No regrets. Everything to gain nothing to lose.
But he actually can lose her friendship if it's too awkward for her.
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Shy friend asking for advice
- Thread starter PrinceOfWhatever
- Start date
- Status
But he actually can lose her friendship if it's too awkward for her.
KeyChainDude
Member
Fancy Clown
Member
Ah yes "demonstrate value". The tried and true D.E.N.N.I.S system.
Ha, please don't follow the E, N, N, I, and S steps.
But really I was rifting on the three rules from, "The Tao of Steve."
Nah, he's right. Whatever anyone tells him is going to seem right now but at the moment he tries it'll be completely useless.
What your friend needs is some confidence. I'm not sure what else to say, but hitting the gym, talking to a lot of different people, making strides in your studies, those build confidence. He needs step out and decide for himself if he's going to take the plunge or regret not taking it for years.
Everyone has those regrets where they look back 10 years on what could have been if they balled up. They're not fun.
some introspection is required.
How shy can someone be?
And what is the reason for this shyness?
We all have fear of rejection but at one point it has to be dealt with. And getting rejected is certainly a part of personal growth, we all have been through it. The main thing is to realize you are who you are (assuming you are a decent individual), if someone doesn't like you, that's their problem, there are plenty of people who will like you.
How shy can someone be?
And what is the reason for this shyness?
We all have fear of rejection but at one point it has to be dealt with. And getting rejected is certainly a part of personal growth, we all have been through it. The main thing is to realize you are who you are (assuming you are a decent individual), if someone doesn't like you, that's their problem, there are plenty of people who will like you.
Not really. A few of my past GF's had liked me well over a year while knowing each other (sometimes I was already dating someone though). I didn't get the hints. It happens.
Just ask her. May want to work it out ahead of time with others if he's so shy.
And the whole "he could lose her friendship" is such bullshit. If they were real friends to begin with, no, you won't. I'm still good friends with girls who admitted to liking me at some point and also to ones I admitted to liking. You move on. Unless he goes off and throws a tantrum because he felt entitled for all the time investment, which is on him. Which also means their friendship was false to begin with.
She has a right to it though...nothing cruel about it.
ArgyleReptile
Banned
He's probably worried about the awkwardness that'll follow and how she'll view him afterwards if she rejects him. In his case, it's being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can definitely understand the sentiment.
I don't really know him, so I can't really give him any particular advice. Just ask him if he thinks he can keep trucking on like nothing happened if she did happen to reject him. If he thinks he can, then he should go for it, if he can't, well...it'll probably suck for a long time but he'll get over her eventually and she'll still be there as a friend.
I don't really know him, so I can't really give him any particular advice. Just ask him if he thinks he can keep trucking on like nothing happened if she did happen to reject him. If he thinks he can, then he should go for it, if he can't, well...it'll probably suck for a long time but he'll get over her eventually and she'll still be there as a friend.
My first thought as well.
Except we know he's liked her for over a year and hasn't done anything about it....You're assuming she isn't shy
Definitely tell her TO HER FACE.. Don't text her even though it would be easier. Confidence is key. If she sees confidence (especially if she's not expecting it), you're golden.
If that is too awkward for her, then their friendship doesn't have a strong foundation to begin with.
tearsintherain
Member
well... at least you aren't this guy
Reptars Revenge
Member
I'm the girl and can confirm that none of the 5 members pretending to not be the guy are getting any, sorry.
JimmyRustler
Member
The best thing would probably be to let go of the seemingly extreme attachment first, otherwise being dumped may break his heart. I recommend meditation. If done properly, this shit is real. Once he has accepted his feeling for what they are (only feelings) he can ask her out and even if dumped will be easier able to shrug if off and go on with his life.
Omnii-chan
Member
Tell him to gather all the strength he can and just say it. Its only words, worst thing that happens is they stay friends.
The disappointment you feel from waiting and missing out later is so much worse than the shy feeling when wanting to say something.
The disappointment you feel from waiting and missing out later is so much worse than the shy feeling when wanting to say something.
RespectThySole
Member
Tell him to just ask her out. Not really the same situation, but back in high school I managed to escape the friend zone pretty easily. I hung out with this girl a lot at school.
We also talked on the phone and I smoked at her house sometimes and whatever. Initially, I wasn't really interested in her. I was messing around with other girls at the time so it was really just a close friend thing, but one day a couple people asked me why I don't go out with her. I wasn't sure what I thought of that at first, but I ended up liking the idea and made the move. It worked. This was like 13-14 months into the friendship.
Worst case scenario, she says no and you're not friends anymore. To me that's better than wondering why you never made the move. There's more fish and you'll make more friends. Shit ain't that serious man. Just go for it.
We also talked on the phone and I smoked at her house sometimes and whatever. Initially, I wasn't really interested in her. I was messing around with other girls at the time so it was really just a close friend thing, but one day a couple people asked me why I don't go out with her. I wasn't sure what I thought of that at first, but I ended up liking the idea and made the move. It worked. This was like 13-14 months into the friendship.
Worst case scenario, she says no and you're not friends anymore. To me that's better than wondering why you never made the move. There's more fish and you'll make more friends. Shit ain't that serious man. Just go for it.
Ascenion
Member
Just go for it man. I've had a girl crush on me through 3 semesters of college only for me to catch on in the 3rd, then fuck up asking her out. She then friended me on Facebook and basically struck up a conversation in chat only to say oh btw I have a mad crush on you and now you know. Now obviously me being a career fuck up I fucked up the relationship, but you aren't me you can do this. You're in high school you should be fearless. The worst thing she can say is no in a really nice way.
Also don't set yourself up for failure. Don't let it drag on longer than it has to. Trust me, even now in my last semester of college (I'm 23) I've met a girl whom I liked from pretty much her walking into the class room 3 months ago. My friends tell me we flirt constantly in class but I don't see it and I've made it all very antagonistic (tried to set her up with another guy, called her evil, think she's out to get me). Pride dictates I take an L on this one because I can't come out of the situation looking good, but I'm almost positive it would've worked. Don't do stupid stuff like that. Be bold. You've got one life to live and regrets deserve no place in it.
Also don't set yourself up for failure. Don't let it drag on longer than it has to. Trust me, even now in my last semester of college (I'm 23) I've met a girl whom I liked from pretty much her walking into the class room 3 months ago. My friends tell me we flirt constantly in class but I don't see it and I've made it all very antagonistic (tried to set her up with another guy, called her evil, think she's out to get me). Pride dictates I take an L on this one because I can't come out of the situation looking good, but I'm almost positive it would've worked. Don't do stupid stuff like that. Be bold. You've got one life to live and regrets deserve no place in it.
Aight I know the dude in question so I'm addressing this directly to him.
Brother, whatever you decide, whichever girl, it won't be the end of the world, I promise.
But you have to make a move, the sooner the better. We all have to go through this and it's scary the first time around. But it gets easier every time.
If you're really lucky this will be the only time you'll have to do it
.
But not doing anything is never the answer. You'll regret it.
Trust me when I tell you, you'll feel so much lighter once you do what you know you have to do.
Whatever happens, happens. But make a move.
Brother, whatever you decide, whichever girl, it won't be the end of the world, I promise.
But you have to make a move, the sooner the better. We all have to go through this and it's scary the first time around. But it gets easier every time.
If you're really lucky this will be the only time you'll have to do it
.But not doing anything is never the answer. You'll regret it.
Trust me when I tell you, you'll feel so much lighter once you do what you know you have to do.
Whatever happens, happens. But make a move.
crimzonflame
Member
He's right though
You have some lame ass parties if that's what you talk about during them.
and yeah, this
So... You are suggesting that he should talk about Nintendo and Iwata at social occasions? Right, ok then.
Enter the Dragon Punch
Banned
sounds like your friend chomped off more than be could chew, op
John Dunbar
correct about everything
well... at least you aren't this guy
it looks like that guy is interested in something else entirely.
The first thing to admit is that YOU are the OP's friend.
you are correct, i am OP's friend
however i am not the friend in question
whew this derailment
Not gonna lie, the fact that your friend is even too shy to post a thread on an anonymous forum is pretty rough...
I used to be shy like this too, one day I just decided I was tired of seeing all those girls I liked go with other men because I was too much of a pussy to ask them out.
And thus, I changed and decided to ask any girls out even if I get rejected. Better than regretting it for months later.
I used to be shy like this too, one day I just decided I was tired of seeing all those girls I liked go with other men because I was too much of a pussy to ask them out.
And thus, I changed and decided to ask any girls out even if I get rejected. Better than regretting it for months later.
I can confirm that the shy friend is not Ryan, as I know them both personally and separately.
If you really want to know, the shy friend is this poster.
Jimmyfenix
Member
No way
not dawg
not dawg
Enter the Dragon Punch
Banned
please stop bullying dawg. it was the user Rajang.
At this point I'm not sure. Usually if you don't know someone for too long, you ask if they want to get some coffe, if you know them a bit longer, dinner and a movie or something. But this? You friend just needs to ask her out, and if she says she's not intrested that's all there is to it.
Rajang is only 17? whew lad, you learn something new everyday.
CloudyTuba
Member
If he doesn't ask her, he doesnt get a date. If he does ask her and she says no, he doesnt get a date.
Same result, it doesn't matter if she says no. So why do her job for her? That's not your job to turn yourself down. Except that if he asks, it opens up the new possibility that she could say yes.
That's what I tell myself. Is that my job? Hell no, I'm not doing someone elses work for no reason. I get enough of that shit at work.
And, worried about possibly losing a friend if she says no? Well in that case, the longer you hang around her, the less attention you'll be giving other women because youll still hold on to that hope. It's a fact, and it will handicap you as long as she is around. So it will suck, but in the long term you come out on top because someday a nice woman will say yes. Dont let yourself get stuck in purgatory, it's just slowing you down while you're on your way to the yes girl. Would you rather have a nice friend, or a nice girlfriend? Because that's the choice you gotta make.
Same result, it doesn't matter if she says no. So why do her job for her? That's not your job to turn yourself down. Except that if he asks, it opens up the new possibility that she could say yes.
That's what I tell myself. Is that my job? Hell no, I'm not doing someone elses work for no reason. I get enough of that shit at work.
And, worried about possibly losing a friend if she says no? Well in that case, the longer you hang around her, the less attention you'll be giving other women because youll still hold on to that hope. It's a fact, and it will handicap you as long as she is around. So it will suck, but in the long term you come out on top because someday a nice woman will say yes. Dont let yourself get stuck in purgatory, it's just slowing you down while you're on your way to the yes girl. Would you rather have a nice friend, or a nice girlfriend? Because that's the choice you gotta make.
Enter the Dragon Punch
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