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Single WORST line in a James Bond film?

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Vesper "Rolex?"

Bond "Omega"

Vesper "Beautiful"

Maybe not the worst line in a Bond, but this bit of 'spoken' product placement made me squirm... even if the watch is rather nice.
 
The Christmas comes once a year line is so terrible, I can't help but slightly love it. My sense of humour, I suppose. The Roger Moore era is generally rich pickings, from "All those feathers and he still can't fly" (Spy Who Loved Me), "What a view..." "...To a kill!" (take a guess), "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself" (Live & Let Die, a failed attempt at answering the question: "Where's Kananga?") and the legendary "I'll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel!" from For Your Eyes Only.
 
ComputerMKII said:
From Casino Royale:



I'm not sure if it's even bad but I just don't understand that part.
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Yeah, one of the best. This is the kind of snappy one-liner you can be proud of - one that a quick witted, confident, cocky James Bond would actually say. Instead we often get the worst puns of all time - something you would groan at in real life. It so often goes against his character too - he's not suave. He's not charming. He's a horny 12 year old. It literally wouldn't work on any woman.

The worst example of this isn't a line, but it's where in Octopussy, Bond is controlling a Q-designed video camera. And he's literally just zooming in and out on a secretary's boobs for 5 seconds. Bond has never been more of a 12 year old here. But it's super disturbing because he's like 60, and would be arrested for this in the real world.

I do have two favourite "crappy puns" in bad Bond movies though. I really like these:

The Man with the Golden Gun said:
*Bond, aiming gun at baddy's crotch*: Speak now or forever hold your piece.
Click to expand...

The World is Not Enough said:
*Bond, point blank, aims gun at Elektra, considering the execution*
Elektra: You wouldn't kill me. You'd miss me.
*Bond shoots anyway*
Bond: I never miss.
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A_Gorilla said:
For me, it has to be from The World is Not Enough, after bond screws Denise Richards:

"I thought Christmas only comes once a year."

I still remember watching the film in theaters and hearing the entire audience groan when he said that line.

What is yours?
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best line
 
I've not seen a whole lot of Bond (just some brosnan and craig, my favorite is Casino Royale) but this thread is actually convincing me to start watching the classic stuff. You're all cringing and I'm sitting here thinking I should really check this out.
 
SillyNonsense said:
I've not seen a whole lot of Bond (just some brosnan and craig, my favorite is Casino Royale) but this thread is actually convincing me to start watching the classic stuff. You're all cringing and I'm sitting here thinking I should really check this out.
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You really should.

From Diamonds are Forever:

"Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up."
 
Hm I dunno.

Goldeneye Money Penny - "I''m sure you'll stay, on a top of things" Referencing Xenia Onatopp.
 
"Christmas comes once a year"
"I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey"

The World Is Not Enough has some terrible ones..I do love the "I never miss" one at the end though.


It's hard to pick one out of Die Another Day too. Graves says some really shitty ones but he's actively trying to be a knockoff of Bond.
 
A_Gorilla said:
For me, it has to be from The World is Not Enough, after bond screws Denise Richards:

"I thought Christmas only comes once a year."

I still remember watching the film in theaters and hearing the entire audience groan when he said that line.

What is yours?
Click to expand...

Yep that was it for me.
 
While not as catching as a phrase like the other examples in this thread, nothing makes me more cringe than

Blond Skyfall villain: "What's your hobby, Mr Bond"
Bond: "Ressurection"

This line is supposed to be so "super cool", but falls completely flat, and just sounds douche.

The gritty Bond from Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace would have never said such a thing.
 
This topic is full with awesome lines!


Except this one:

dogstar said:
Vesper "Rolex?"

Bond "Omega"

Vesper "Beautiful"

Maybe not the worst line in a Bond, but this bit of 'spoken' product placement made me squirm... even if the watch is rather nice.
Click to expand...
 
BobbyRoberts said:
This whole exchange is fucking stupid:

"Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?"
"You think we better, huh?"
"No, just different. Like Peking duck is different from Russian caviar. But I love them both."
"Darling, I give you very best duck."
Click to expand...

Bond always was a dipshit, but those have been ultimately the lines which pushed me out of the franchise.
 
dogstar said:
Vesper "Rolex?"

Bond "Omega"

Vesper "Beautiful"

Maybe not the worst line in a Bond, but this bit of 'spoken' product placement made me squirm... even if the watch is rather nice.
Click to expand...

Oddly, this one of the few scenes I still remember. It's doesn't feel too forced as it is easy to imagine someone in real life asking about another's watch and continue in their conversation as if nothing. It implies so much yet, very little is actually said. The watch is noticeable by woman, AND is better than a rolex because it was compared to it. Gives the idea that the watch is beauty is subtle, but at the same time noticeable. I find the dialogue great honestly.
 
DesertEater said:
Oddly, this one of the few scenes I still remember. It's doesn't feel too forced as it is easy to imagine someone in real life asking about another's watch and continue in their conversation as if nothing. It implies so much yet, very little is actually said. The watch is noticeable by woman, AND is better than a rolex because it was compared to it. Gives the idea that the watch is beauty is subtle, but at the same time noticeable. I find the dialogue great honestly.
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Aye I've always quite liked that part. The whole exchange on the train is great.
 
A_Gorilla said:
For me, it has to be from The World is Not Enough, after bond screws Denise Richards:

"I thought Christmas only comes once a year."

I still remember watching the film in theaters and hearing the entire audience groan when he said that line.

What is yours?
Click to expand...

I saw that movie dubbed in French when I was younger, I had no clue this was a thing, since it doesn't make sense in French. Seeing this movie in English recently was... interesting.
 
From Die Another Day

Rosamund Pike: "I take it Mr. Bond has been explaining his big bang theory"

Halle Barry: "yeah I think I got the thrust of it"

It is not even the lines so much just the whole delivery and reactions are so bad, I actually like Die Another Day more than most.
 
lucius said:
From Die Another Day

Rosamund Pike: "I take it Mr. Bond is explaining his big bang theory"

Halle Barry: "yeah I think I got the thrust of it"

It is not even the lines so much just the whole delivery and reactions are so bad, I actually like Die Another Day more than most.
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This sounds like something that Lord Flashheart would say, accompanied by a pelvic thrust and followed by "WOOF WOOF!".
 
AlteredBeast said:
"that's because you've seen what I can do with my little finger"

That some exchange was so cringeworthy.
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That's actually one of the better Bond sexual quips.

The Christmas line from the OP has to be the worst, simply because you just know that that joke is the only reason why they named the character Christmas.
 
Halle Berry and Bond, the morning after and before we see them we hear sexual innuendos and they are in fact talking about diamonds in belly button. It was pretty bad.
 
Exterminieren said:
The fact that it's meant to be stupid does not improve it. My viewing experience is not improved by Albert Broccoli figuratively cock-slapping Kevin McClory, no matter how intentionally shitty it was.
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Looking back, the stunt is pretty impressive though. That guy be hanging off a helicopter for sure.

And yes OP, you win. Embarrasingly bad. Remember she was named that in the whole movie just for that one awful line.
 
Man-talk,James-Bond,3707.gif
 
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