Really 'innocence'? Does one lose innocence by having sex with somebody else? Dose one turn guilty of something by doing so? I know what you mean, heh, but can we get to a point where (female) virginity isn't something more special than the one of a boy/man.
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Sister is already dating. Only 11.
- Thread starter sappyday
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veryslowhand
Banned
Is OP going to talk to the kid parents?
You're tilting.
Nappuccino
Member
I bet he would have said the exact same thing if it were an 11 year old brother in question.
GreenRobot
Banned
Yea, the OP should talk to the 13 year olds parents.
What state are you in OP? You know in many states this 13 year old qualifies as a sex offender. You should remind his parents of this.
Depending on the state you are in, you could go to the police if you wanted. I think you are doing a diservice to other vulnerable children who are at risk of rape by not reporting this. By letting the police know, it will serve as a reminder to other teens to not try and rape an 11 year old.
These laws are in place for a reason.
This isn't that reason.
GreenRobot
Banned
Well, there are laws that specifically address this. Underage sex where there is a gap of 2 years or more, in most states this is statutory rape. At these ages, there would be no leeway.
Surprised to see lots of enthusiastic support for pedophilia on GAF.
QuantumZebra
Member
You are a troll.
To be clear, your claim here is that a 13-year-old who is attracted to an 11-year-old is a pedophile?
metalslimer
Member
This has got to be a joke...
SquiddyCracker
Banned
It's not that outrageous of a belief if you're part of the conservative christian murrican population.
SolidSnakesMyStepDad
Member
In every thread there has to be someone like this. C'mon man just think before you write stuff down you are not adding anything to the discussion.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
This is why we can't have nice things.
wtf is this supposed to mean? Yes i'm conservative, christian, and American but I do not share the belief. i'll assume you're being sarcastic.
whatever77
Banned
Only one solution now..it might be few days after Christmas, but make this a late gift:
Mammoth Jones
Member
C'mon, why you gotta go there. This is silly.
Not true. The conservative christian murrican population would be happy if things went back to Little House on the Prairie where you marry your 14 year old neighbor and pop out 10 kids. Then when she dies in child-birth because fuck abortions even for health reasons, you go marry another 14 year old neighbor at 32 and repeat the process.
freenudemacusers
Member
well, he probably does, going by some of his posts in other threads. dunno why you would expect any other response than a douchey one to a douchey inquiry like 'post your money and credentials'
DoktorEvil
Banned
Hold up...
Conservatism aside, You're both saying it's socially acceptable for a 11 year old to engage in sex?
Like, seriously? You're gonna go to your grave saying that?
I don't know what thread I posted in, but I'm outta here.
See ya
How you at all got that from my post I'll never know. While I understand certain social cues and intent can be lost in text form ... not sure how much more obvious I could make it that that type of conservatism is gross without directly saying it
ThatGuyAgain
Member
Wait, wut? If I were in the shoes of the OP (or someone else very close to his young sister), I would want to knock some sense into the 13 year old boy for texting her about his dick but to go as far as calling him a pedophile, that is stretching it. Seriously... he is still a kid himself.
You're a good brother. You don't want her to end up pregnant and whatnot, do you?
Marty Chinn
Member
You realize it used to be socially acceptable and kids would get married at a young age too right? The biology hasn't changed in thousand of years but we have suddenly declared when their biology should work. I certainly don't want my daughter having sex at that age but I'm not burying my head in the sand about the origins of sex and the fact that it did and still can happen at that age.
Crash Station
Member
lol, that's not what pedophilia means.
Cizeta-Moroder
Banned
When I was 11 all kids in my class were experimenting. My parents told me to stay out of it. I am now twice that age and have never been in a relationship. I don't want to speculate "what could have been" but all I remember from my adolescence is complete and utter terror of any social interaction.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Society has advanced to the point where that is not a necessity.
Children should be left to be children. Discussing sex I'm cool with, not engaging in it.
Conservatism =! children engaging in sex. Don't know where or how those were aligned.
IdrisOllie
Neo Member
You definitely did the right thing. 11 is simply way to early for relationships and such. Can't say I haven't done stupid stuff in 6th grade though.
Also side note, an 11 year old girl owns a phone?
Also side note, an 11 year old girl owns a phone?
Sorry if I'm late to the party and somebody's already said it, but you fucked up OP. I get what you tried to do, and something should have been done, but that's not how you handle that situation. Not even close.
You shouldn't have made a big fiasco over the phone, you shouldn't have allowed your mom to get involved, and you shouldn't have let her know the contents of the phone when you yourself promised your sister you wouldn't.
She's young and you don't want her getting involved with guys like that, I get that, but explain that to her: make her understand how you feel about that kind of behavior (don't use words like disgusting) and talk to her about sex for fucks sake. Don't shut her down or cut her off from other people, teach her how to deal with guys and sex related subjects. The former won't work, and will only lead to problems later on.
I doubt you have much sway now that your parents are involved, but be there for her. If nobody's done it yet, try to talk her through dating, puberty, sex... It doesn't matter if you're comfortable with it or not, it's for the best, especially if you live in America. Sex education is near worthless there and every kid I knew growing up learned everything they knew from other kids and T.V.
In regards to how this specific situation affects your sister, you better do everything in your power to get her trust back. I've got a younger sister who's 13 and I can't see her trusting me with anything for a long time; I've got family I couldn't trust for years because of stuff like that, to the point where there are chunks of my life where people I love don't exist. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell others if you really have to, but don't pretend you'd never tell anyone the things she finds personal enough to share with you alone; be upfront and do your best to be honest. You're her brother, not her father.
All of this comes with the caveat of me not knowing you or your family or the type of place that you live or the type of kids in your area. I'm just assuming, and saying these things based on my opinions and experiences. I'd consider my family atypical and my mother's approach to parenting (especially when I was around your sisters age) bordering on ethically wrong, so I'm crazy biased. Even if I disagree with what happened, you still acted on what could have been a terrible situation. Sorry if this comes off really general or abrassive. It's hard for to talk about stuff like this as it's personal, let alone dance around the fact that I know next to nothing about your lives.
tl;dr: You shouldn't have done that, but it's good that you did something. Be there for your sister and try to earn her trust back. Even if you're uncomfortable try and talk to her about sex, puberty, dating... or get you trust if your mom hasn't (especially if you're in the US). Don't disengage her from a social life or keep her on lockdown, teach her how to deal with guys and the like....
EDIT: One more thing, find out what kind of "relationship" she had with the boy. I know it may seem like he's trying to go pretty far, but a lot of the time it's just talk and "boyfriend" is just a title, especially in middle school.
EDIT 2: Ignore the first edit. I re-read your post and that's not just talk. Keep an eye on that boy.
You shouldn't have made a big fiasco over the phone, you shouldn't have allowed your mom to get involved, and you shouldn't have let her know the contents of the phone when you yourself promised your sister you wouldn't.
She's young and you don't want her getting involved with guys like that, I get that, but explain that to her: make her understand how you feel about that kind of behavior (don't use words like disgusting) and talk to her about sex for fucks sake. Don't shut her down or cut her off from other people, teach her how to deal with guys and sex related subjects. The former won't work, and will only lead to problems later on.
I doubt you have much sway now that your parents are involved, but be there for her. If nobody's done it yet, try to talk her through dating, puberty, sex... It doesn't matter if you're comfortable with it or not, it's for the best, especially if you live in America. Sex education is near worthless there and every kid I knew growing up learned everything they knew from other kids and T.V.
In regards to how this specific situation affects your sister, you better do everything in your power to get her trust back. I've got a younger sister who's 13 and I can't see her trusting me with anything for a long time; I've got family I couldn't trust for years because of stuff like that, to the point where there are chunks of my life where people I love don't exist. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell others if you really have to, but don't pretend you'd never tell anyone the things she finds personal enough to share with you alone; be upfront and do your best to be honest. You're her brother, not her father.
All of this comes with the caveat of me not knowing you or your family or the type of place that you live or the type of kids in your area. I'm just assuming, and saying these things based on my opinions and experiences. I'd consider my family atypical and my mother's approach to parenting (especially when I was around your sisters age) bordering on ethically wrong, so I'm crazy biased. Even if I disagree with what happened, you still acted on what could have been a terrible situation. Sorry if this comes off really general or abrassive. It's hard for to talk about stuff like this as it's personal, let alone dance around the fact that I know next to nothing about your lives.
tl;dr: You shouldn't have done that, but it's good that you did something. Be there for your sister and try to earn her trust back. Even if you're uncomfortable try and talk to her about sex, puberty, dating... or get you trust if your mom hasn't (especially if you're in the US). Don't disengage her from a social life or keep her on lockdown, teach her how to deal with guys and the like....
EDIT: One more thing, find out what kind of "relationship" she had with the boy. I know it may seem like he's trying to go pretty far, but a lot of the time it's just talk and "boyfriend" is just a title, especially in middle school.
EDIT 2: Ignore the first edit. I re-read your post and that's not just talk. Keep an eye on that boy.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Hahaha.
Some of you folks are acting like the familial relationship between the OP and his sister is destroyed already by this, saying stuff like she will hate him forever for this. I mean come on.
Most likely when the sister grows up to be an adult this becomes one of those talks that both of them look back and laugh about together.
...or it can be evidence of a symptomatic rejection of the idea that the daughter is growing up. If yell and plug their ears is what the parents choose to do in THIS situation, what makes you think won't be their go-to in other situations?
Let's not pretend that not feeling heard and/or not feeling able to confide in your parents isn't a major issue with young people.
PHOENIXZERO
Member
Seventh graders going out with sixth graders? Maybe it was just my school but seventh grade was junior high and we mostly felt too "grown up" for lowly sixth graders. Might've helped that at the time each middle, junior and high schools were separate buildings that were spread out. Though in eight grade some of the more "developed" girls in my year had boyfriends in high school and I don't mean just those who were a grade above and in the same building the same school year prior, coincidentally they were the same girls who ended up later getting pregnant in high school... Junior year was a bad year for that.
Anyway should've been more subtle and just introduced yourself to this kid.
Anyway should've been more subtle and just introduced yourself to this kid.
Anyway, you should introduce yourself to this kid.
and take your gang with you to back you if the kid is trouble and things go south. Those younglings are tall like trees these days
(btw I find the age difference rather concerning)
Wow ... it's like you didn't even read the context
Marty Chinn
Member
Sure when they are all grown up. That does no good as she's growing and discovering herself during her teenage years.
GreenRobot
Banned
Well there are pages of adult gaffers defending kids fucking at 10 years of age.
In fact, some gaffers are also fondly remembering the 11 year olds they fucked in their youth, talking about their titties even.
Grown men enthusiastically admitting how great it is to fuck little undeveloped girls! How great their little undeveloped bodies are. Yes, nothing to do with pedophilia at all.
Its completely normal for a group of men to lust after and fondly remember fucking 11 yr old girls, of course.
NobleGundam
Banned
You did the right thing.
It's surprising 'cuz of the young age and all but this sort of thing isn't new. And good thing you and your mom caught it ahead of time. Perhaps it's best your mom needs to have a serious talk between her and your sister.
Messofanego
Banned
I think you're the only one who said that.
Kids today have far less sex than they did 20 years ago. Less pregnancy, less sex, less abortions, less drug use, less violence.
So....I'm not sure why people think "kids today" are anything but pretty awesome.
You love twisting arguments.
An 12 year old kid sleeping with an 11 year old kid is not pedophilia. Someone still remembering their first experiences at young age is no pedophilia and I'm not trying to defend some of the stupid comments from 'I'm an expert' at all with this.
And for the love of god, use names instead of generalizing/labeling a random amount of users here as pedophiles, not that being pedohile is even a crime, unless acted out in some child molesting/abusing activity.
Luckily people aren't considered full adults until they are 21 here, maybe that's an execuse for your repeatedly exhausting posts.
Prophet Steve
Member
Dude, I think you have trouble with reading comprehension.
Just get out of here if you feel like twisting everything and can't engage in a normal discussion. Where the hell do you even see a group of men lusting after 11 year old girls?
Mammoth Jones
Member
I wouldn't leave it at that. At 11 years old there needs to be appropriate boundaries. Sorry but I'm not letting her BF come over, go to her room and close the door because "kids will have sex regardless" lmao.
But you can't always be there and it's true that they will find ways around you if they want to but Id like to at least try to set an example of appropriate relationships that 11 year olds should be in. They wouldn't include fucking.
One of my best friends from high school met a guy in our sophomore year. Her mom immediately decided she didn't like him and wouldn't let her be caught talking to him. Her phone would be monitored, we weren't allowed to talk about him in her house, etc. They had a pretty terrible relationship that could have ended sooner but it was elongated because they never had opportunities to see each other outside of school. They kept "dating" and didn't learn how incompatible they were until the end of senior year.
I know we're talking about an 11 year old here, but make sure she isn't afraid to talk to you / your mom about that stuff for when she gets into high school. If she starts hiding things she might get into trouble where you can't help her.
I know we're talking about an 11 year old here, but make sure she isn't afraid to talk to you / your mom about that stuff for when she gets into high school. If she starts hiding things she might get into trouble where you can't help her.
spawnsniper
Member
I dont care if this has been said or not.. but I blame the media for all this crap. Innocent children aren't innocent as long as they have all this new technology that push sex down everyones throats.
Calamari41
41 > 38
I wonder what lil' Romeo's parents would think about his pressuring of an 11 year old girl to "fuck."
Top post. She's more likely to act out in a fit over this than do something reasonable like listen to you.
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