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Slow

NeoGiffer

Member
zootopia.gif
 

RagnarokIV

Member
Sorry guys, I was in work and as I started typing the thread someone arrived and I didn't want to be caught slacking off, so I figured if I press post it'll take about 10 mins to go through anyway.

GAF was deadly slow yesterday, so much so I started thinking about the meaning of life n shit.
 
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GymWolf

Member
Super slow, i have time for a wank or 2 while the forum take his time to load my posts...

Unless evilore want to pay for my next visit to the ophthalmologist he better fix this stuff :lollipop_grinning_sweat:
 

RagnarokIV

Member
It's so slow again.
I was staring at the NeoGAF logo for so long while loading that I realized backwards it's FAG eon. This made me start chuckling to myself but then I realized it's not, it's actually GAF oen, but my brain had made sense of it as eon.
It wasn't funny anymore and I stopped chuckling as a sense of reality hit me.
 

RagnarokIV

Member
A movie about this:

Digital Vendetta

In a world where online forums are the battlegrounds for ideological wars, NeoGAF, a popular gaming community, becomes the target of a notorious group of hacktivists known as Just Stop Oil. Their goal: to disrupt the digital space and spread their radical environmental message by any means necessary.

On the eve of The Game Awards, the hack escalates causing chaos and threatening to expose the personal data of millions, GAF is forced to respond. They assemble an elite Task Force of four deadly hitmen, each with a unique set of skills and a personal vendetta against the cyber-terrorists.

Michael Ironside plays the grizzled leader, a master strategist with a history in cyber warfare. Craig Fairbrass is the muscle, an ex-special forces operative with a penchant for heavy weaponry. Michael Biehn portrays the tech wizard, a former hacker who turned his life around to fight against the kind of people he once was. Christian Slater is the smooth-talking infiltrator, capable of charming his way into any organization. And Bella Ramsey, the youngest but not the least, is the prodigy analyst, whose insights into the hacktivist’s patterns are key to stopping them.

Together, they must navigate a treacherous digital landscape, outsmarting the hacktivists at every turn. But as they close in on their targets, they begin to realize that the line between good and evil isn’t as clear as they thought. With high-octane action, gripping suspense, and a cyber-twist, Digital Vendetta is a thrilling ride through the dangers of the digital age.

...When the virtual world is under siege, the deadliest warriors are the last line of defence...
 

RagnarokIV

Member
Gordon Ramsay's Tech Nightmares: Episode 1 NeoGAF


Gordon Ramsay, the fiery chef known for turning culinary disasters into Michelin-starred successes, had taken on a new challenge. His latest show, “Tech Nightmares,” was a hit series where he visited floundering tech companies and whipped them into shape. This week’s episode featured NeoGAF, a gaming forum beloved by its community but plagued by frustratingly slow servers.

The episode opened with Ramsay storming into NeoGAF’s office, his face a mask of barely contained rage. “What the fuck is going on here?” he bellowed, as employees jumped in their seats. “I tried accessing your forums on the way here, and it was like trying to get ketchup out of a bottle with a fucking chopstick!”

The CEO, a young man named Tyler, approached Ramsay with a nervous smile. “Gordon, we’re so glad you’re here. We’ve been struggling with server issues for months.”

Ramsay cut him off with a wave of his hand. “Fucking save it. Show me to your server room. I want to see this disaster for myself.”

The camera followed them down a narrow hallway to a room that was a tangle of wires and blinking lights. The air was thick with heat, and the sound of whirring fans was deafening. “Jesus, it’s like a fucking sauna in here!” Ramsay exclaimed, wiping sweat from his brow. “Fuck me. No wonder your servers are slower than a snail on a fucking salt flat!”

Tyler explained that they had been trying to patch things up with quick fixes, but nothing seemed to work. Ramsay, his temper flaring, shouted over the noise, “Quick fixes? You can’t put a plaster on a fucking broken leg! It’s time for some tough love.”

Over the next few days, Ramsay worked tirelessly with the NeoGAF team. He brought in tech experts to overhaul the server infrastructure, implementing state-of-the-art cooling systems and upgrading their hardware. He didn’t hold back on his criticism, his colorful language censored by a relentless stream of bleeps, but his passion for helping the company was undeniable.

As the transformation took place, the employees were initially resistant to change. But Ramsay’s relentless drive and expertise won them over. “I don’t care if you’re cooking a steak or coding a website,” he said in a rare moment of calm, “it’s all about passion, precision, and not being a fucking donkey!”

The climax of the episode came when Ramsay revealed the revamped server room to the NeoGAF team. The once chaotic space was now organized and efficient, the servers humming quietly in their racks. “Now that’s what I call a fucking well-done job!” Ramsay declared, a grin breaking through his stern demeanor.

The final test was the relaunch of the NeoGAF forums. As the site went live, the page loaded instantly, and the forums were more responsive than ever. The community rejoiced, flooding the site with messages of thanks and relief.

Ramsay, watching the positive reactions pour in, felt a surge of pride. “This is why I do this,” he said to the camera, “to take something broken and make it fucking brilliant.”

As the credits rolled, viewers were left with no doubt that Gordon Ramsay’s “Tech Nightmares” was a resounding success, and NeoGAF was back in the game.

Post credits: THREE WEEKS LATER...
 
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