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[Jaffaboy]

It's not minorities' jobs to educate every single racist they encounter. It is 20 fuckiing 15, if you don't know where babies come from, a woman shopping for hotdog buns at sams club shouldn't have to tell you AND give you a history lesson too.


What about the Racist feelings? What about the Racist feelings? Every fucking thread I swear. How about the minority feelings for once?

I didn't say anything about minorities educating ignorant people, I said don't react with anger. It's either giving them what they want, or if it's ignorance from a place that isn't hatred then it'll make them defensive and remain just as ignorant.

I also definitely didn't say anything about the racist's feelings. I couldn't really care what the racist woman felt like being shouted at for her benefit. I'm talking about it from the benefit of people who aren't ignorant about race and want attitudes to improve. I even said that his aunt shouldn't take any responsibility for that woman's ignorance, it's right there dude.

I'm arguing that us who want improvement in the attitudes of people can consider our own approaches and reactions when dealing with these situations. We can't control what other people think and do, but we can control what we do, and if what we do can influence others in a more positive way that has potential to help society go down the path that we want it to, without prejudice and bigotry then I'd take that option every time.

 

[TacticalFox88]

Really, really, REALLY depressed that this didn't turn out to be the birds and the bees.

You're black correct? What did your parents tell you at that age? Don't scare them but certainly don't sugar coat the reality of racism in the US.

That's the thing, I grew up in the 90s at a time where the thought of a minority POTUS was unfathomable. At one point when i was a kid I had dreams of being a politician and someday possibly President and my mom just sighed and looked at me saying

"Son you can be who you want to be... But I think it's best if you consider another dream or aspiration."

I was a kid so I trusted her judgment without hesitation and my interests changed on the fly to God knows what.

Looking back...man I see where that cynicism was coming from considering she never sugar coated anything for me and kept it real when discussing these issues

 

[Daingurse]

Sorry to hear about that experience, although I suppose such a talk is inevitable for a person of color in this country. I probably would have popped off at that woman too, I have no patience for such ignorance, nor do I feel the obligation to "educate" such a person. They can simply fuck off.

 

[Slayven]

I didn't say anything about minorities educating ignorant people, I said don't react with anger. It's either giving them what they want, or if it's ignorance from a place that isn't hatred then it'll make them defensive and remain just as ignorant.

I also definitely didn't say anything about the racist's feelings. I couldn't really care what the racist woman felt like being shouted at for her benefit. I'm talking about it from the benefit of people who aren't ignorant about race and want attitudes to improve. I even said that his aunt shouldn't take any responsibility for that woman's ignorance, it's right there dude.

I'm arguing that us who want improvement in the attitudes of people can consider our own approaches and reactions when dealing with these situations. We can't control what other people think and do, but we can control what we do, and if what we do can influence others in a more positive way that has potential to help society go down the path that we want it to, without prejudice and bigotry then I'd take that option every time.

Respectably politics, got you

 

[Angelus Errare]

Respectably politics, got you

Reads like "If you want people to stop running across the street when they see you, or cops beating you for no reason...maybe stop wearing sneakers, jeans and a baseball cap and a hoodie? You can't stop other people from having an irrational fear of black people. But you can totes not make yourself look like the thing they fear or minimizing that fear by dressing different!"

 

[Randam]

And then the conversation ends. Why do you feel the need to be outraged by it?

This.
She asked "how" and not "why".

 

[esms]

That's the thing, I grew up in the 90s at a time where the thought of a minority POTUS was unfathomable. At one point when i was a kid I had dreams of being a politician and someday possibly President and my mom just sighed and looked at me saying

"Son you can be who you want to be... But I think it's best if you consider another dream or aspiration."

I was a kid so I trusted her judgment without hesitation and my interests changed on the fly to God knows what.

Looking back...man I see where that cynicism was coming from considering she never sugar coated anything for me and kept it real when discussing these issues

You have your answer then. Give it to them straight, but let them know how it was when you were a kid and that there is a glimmer of hope, however slight.

 

[CrazyDogg77]

So it's easier to believe in 2015 that a grown woman in South Carolina of all places doesn't know how interracial relations works than to believe she's a piece of shit?

 

[Jaffaboy]

Respectably politics, got you

Got me, what? Care to enlighten me how you have 'got' me, or do you want to continue not actually reading and critically responding to my posts?

Reads like "If you want people to stop running across the street when they see you, or cops beating you for no reason...maybe stop wearing sneakers, jeans and a baseball cap and a hoodie? You can't stop other people from having an irrational fear of black people. But you can totes not make yourself look like the thing they fear or minimizing that fear by dressing different!"

I disagree, it's not comparable at all. Anyone can react angrily to other people's actions, this goes beyond reacting angrily to prejudices. Anger is irrational behaviour; a natural emotion but it's irrational, fueled by emotion. Anger never brings any good to anything. I concede that it's not always possible to hold back anger and I don't blame anyone for it, we're all human, but I'm saying that if people were to hold it back and act more rationally then that would be an improvement, especially in this situation.

What you said is someone making a rational choice about how they act (wearing the clothes they want), and not being treated equally for it because of their race, therefore having to change their choices. To compare this with what I said then your argument would be to accept that people can be angry freely without consequence, and we know that wouldn't be a society we want to live in.

I've even given clear points on why I think not acting angrily is more beneficial. I'd rather you point out why I'm wrong on those points instead of comparing my argument rationale to something else to debunk it.

 

[Zekes!]

I feel you OP. Me and my little brother are biracial so my family got a lot of that growing up. Doesn't help that I look noticeably white, whereas my brother looks noticeably black. I grew up always having to explain my family, or how genetics work and shit like that, and still do today. Biracial families can be surprisingly hard to understand for some people.

 

[studyguy]

Well that story took an unexpected turn. What a bummer OP. Came in expecting a much different talk :/

 

[JDSN]

Your aunt is white so she doesnt know that every minority should explain in a calm non-uppity manner the purpose of their existence and their interactions with the rest of society no matter how ignorant or how many times you are exposed to it.

Otherwise you stop being one of the "good ones".

/

Spoiler

RacismDefenseForce

 

[Messofanego]

He basically thought (and still does) that racism was against black people is a thing of the past and we're all "equal" now.

He goes to an affluent school, so it wouldn't surprise me if whatever he learned about MLK was extremely whitewashed.

I don't know how good his reading level is at that age, but his post-racial belief could do with some debunked statistics. And these are reported in liberal places.

Al Jazeera opinion: Are millenials tolerant racists? | GAF thread

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

Krang, always giving the turtles a piece of his mind.

 

[RoadHazard]

Because people are tired of having to go through their daily lives educating.

As for the bold, I'm sorry, but there's no reasonable excuse for not knowing that black and white people procreate together at this point. If you're that damn ignorant, let the deserved ridicule you receive be your education.

she's an adult in the year 2015, in the American south. none of this is new

find someone else to stick up for

Yeah, I mean, I don't know the full situation, what tone she said it in, etc. Maybe she really was a racist. Maybe she was just ignorant. There are a lot of ignorant people. Not saying you're not allowed to get annoyed with such people, just that "fuck off!" might not be the most constructive response.

 

[wildfire]

They would figure it out on their own. You just need to realize that if they are going to a school where they have a bunch of friends it will be a long time before they encounter asshats.

It's ok to warn them. Just understand that might be the environment they are in now and you should be happy that they are blessed like that.

I think though if you were going to have that talk you should've gone beyond the basics like the people who pester you about politics and stereotype jokes.

 

[Messofanego]

This.
She asked "how" and not "why".

She knows there was a black husband when she was told that it's the white aunt's kids. She's an adult. She knows how sex works. She knows that a black and white person can have sex.

"But...how? They're black!!"

That isn't a genuine question. The outrage is perfectly placed because it's a racist statement.

 

[timetokill]

Misleading thread title

Anyway, seems so sad, like you're telling kids there's no Santa. You want to let them enjoy their innocence.

 

[Cagey]

Feigning ignorance on your own behalf, as if you don't know why they're asking the question and it's just a crazy thing to think about, is the most amusing response.

"How are they your sons? They're black!"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand"
"The kids are black. They're yours?"
"Well... yes"
"How?"
"Well, I made love to my husband and I got pregnant and I gave birth"
"Yes but they're black"
"So?"

And on and on. Sometimes, you get some... hilariously "benign" racist comments. Benign insofar as the person making the comment, for the life of them, thinks they're asking normal honest questions with no malice. It can be funny.

In person trolling. I've resorted to this when annoyed by "where's your wife from" questions.

 

[LosDaddie]

Right. So the old lady is clearly a racist, hateful person. Case closed.

Spoiler

not looking forward to having The Talk with my biracial kids

 

[timetokill]

Should have responded with: "No they're not" and see where it goes.


Or alternatively: "Oh my god... you're right! no... This can't be happening... noooooooooooooooo"

 

[TalonJH]

Should have responded with: "No they're not" and see where it goes.


Or alternatively: "Oh my god... you're right! no... This can't be happening... noooooooooooooooo"

I was just about to say something similar.

"...what....Oh my god, I never realized until someone pointed it out...in a Costco."


But yeah, I would have to leave any of "the talks" to their parents. I would say this woke them up a bit in regards to this subject.

 

[Enzom21]

It is rather interesting that some people here have more simply for the racist old lady than they do for the woman and her kids.

It is also not the victim's responsibility to hand hold a racist to more progressive views.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know the full situation, what tone she said it in, etc. Maybe she really was a racist. Maybe she was just ignorant. There are a lot of ignorant people. Not saying you're not allowed to get annoyed with such people, just that "fuck off!" might not be the most constructive response.

Who is it supposed to be constructive for?

 

[GotEmRunnin]

First off OP u had to have the talk. On the other hand I'm sorry you had to have the talk. I'm from sc as well so I know all to well.

 

[User 73706]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know the full situation, what tone she said it in, etc. Maybe she really was a racist. Maybe she was just ignorant. There are a lot of ignorant people. Not saying you're not allowed to get annoyed with such people, just that "fuck off!" might not be the most constructive response.

I thought this was Angelus being sarcastic at first before I checked the poster.

 

[T'Zariah]

So let me see...

Does GAF need to see "nigger" being dropped from the racist for it to be universally condemned no questions asked?

 

[User 73706]

So let me see...

Does GAF need to see "nigger" being dropped from the racist for it to be universally condemned no questions asked?

Pretty much, and even then you'll still get the occasional "it was a different time, it's not their fault, it's not like they've had decades of experiences to formulate a perchance of empathy, we just need to wait for the baby boomers to die off and then we'll really be in a post-racial America!" posters.

 

[injurai]

The truth is there, but no need to fear monger. You've introduced the point, let them feel invincible while they can. It's a hidden naive strength while it lasts. The old disgruntled generation is dying off, hopeful when they are your age things will be just a little bit brighter.

 

[bengraven]

You know, as much as I want to say your uncle's sheltering them, I'm more upset that we live in a world where these happy go lucky kids actually need to have a talk to basically say "you're going to have moments in your life where you're fucking miserable and hated because of how you were born".

God fucking damn a world where kids can't just grow up and be kids.

 

[Slayven]

So let me see...

Does GAF need to see "nigger" being dropped from the racist for it to be universally condemned no questions asked?

Even then you will see people say "they were just upset and said the first thing that came to their mind".

Pretty much, and even then you'll still get the occasional "it was a different time, it's not their fault, it's not like they've had decades of experiences to formulate a perchance of empathy, we just need to wait for the baby boomers to die off and then we'll really be in a post-racial America!" posters.

Hahaha

The truth is there, but no need to fear monger. You've introduced the point, let them feel invincible while they can. It's a hidden naive strength while it lasts. The old disgruntled generation is dying off, hopeful when they are your age things will be just a little bit brighter.

in another 300 years maybe a black kid can be a just a kid.

 

[ShemhazaiX]

Yeah guess you're not a minority yourself? Even my mom gets this when she is out with my sister and her (white) friend, we're ethnic Arabic and live in Europe.

Having close bonds with 'whites' just is mind blowing to some people, they just can't believe it.

Who made the fuss? White people or asian people? I dated a muslim girl for 6 years and I don't remember anyone ever mentioning anything. Most of the trouble came from her family for dating a white guy. :/
This is in the UK by the way. Is there much of an issue with it on the continent?

edit: Not contending your point, I just have a morbid curiosity of the world outside of my life sphere.

 

[Enzom21]

So let me see...

Does GAF need to see "nigger" being dropped from the racist for it to be universally condemned no questions asked?

Some people on GAF think that calling someone a nigger doesn't automatically make you a racist and they'll bend over backward to excuse its use.

 

[JDSN]

Pretty much, and even then you'll still get the occasional "it was a different time, it's not their fault, it's not like they've had decades of experiences to formulate a perchance of empathy, we just need to wait for the baby boomers to die off and then we'll really be in a post-racial America!" posters.

The truth is there, but no need to fear monger. You've introduced the point, let them feel invincible while they can. It's a hidden naive strength while it lasts. The old disgruntled generation is dying off, hopeful when they are your age things will be just a little bit brighter.

Hahaha like clockwork.

 

[esms]

Feigning ignorance on your own behalf, as if you don't know why they're asking the question and it's just a crazy thing to think about, is the most amusing response.

"How are they your sons? They're black!"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand"
"The kids are black. They're yours?"
"Well... yes"
"How?"
"Well, I made love to my husband and I got pregnant and I gave birth"
"Yes but they're black"
"So?"

And on and on. Sometimes, you get some... hilariously "benign" racist comments. Benign insofar as the person making the comment, for the life of them, thinks they're asking normal honest questions with no malice. It can be funny.

In person trolling. I've resorted to this when annoyed by "where's your wife from" questions.

This sounds morbidly hilarious.

 

[J10]

So let me see...

Does GAF need to see "nigger" being dropped from the racist for it to be universally condemned no questions asked?

This woman yelled nigger at a black dude like a thousand times in the span of 3 minutes and the Racist Defense Force still managed to find a reason to assemble.

 

[Clydefrog]

Well that story took an unexpected turn. What a bummer OP. Came in expecting a much different talk :/

Yeah, was expecting some sort of sexual cousin thing going on. I'm sorry, OP

Martin Kang was funny though!

 

[Darksol]

Depressing shit.

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

The lady seemed to be in shock and disbelief. "But...how? They're black!!"

"Well you see miss, when two people love each other very much...."

 

[injurai]

Hahaha like clockwork.

You missed the point.

 

[Damerman]

You're right, better to leave mid-conversation and go home angry.

I'm having vertigo from reading ur posts... Is it really so hard to wonder why one would get angry at an older person who doesn't understand the concept of interracial marriage?

 

[Cagey]

This sounds morbidly hilarious.

It's fun for spinning the discomfort right back onto them. Wife hates the "where are you from?" questions because that's a question reserved for non-whites and non-blacks in the US. So we play that ignorance game when it comes up and let the person being stupid get uncomfortable instead of us feeling uncomfortable. We know why the fuck they're asking "where are you from" and she hates the idea that she gets asked it because she's Asian.

"Oh are you Chinese?"
American.
"But I mean, are you Chinese or Korean or something?"
I'm... American.
"Where were are you from?"
Jersey.
"Well (getting frustrated) where were you born?"
Jersey.
"(this is where they have the GOTCHA! moment) Well where are your parents from?"
Korea.
"Oh! So you're Korean!"
Well, I'm American.
"But you're Korean"
And American.

Shit gets so funny sometimes.

 

[Althane]

It's fun for spinning the discomfort right back onto them. Wife hates the "where are you from?" questions because that's a question reserved for non-whites and non-blacks in the US. So we play that ignorance game when it comes up and let the person being stupid get uncomfortable instead of us feeling uncomfortable. We know why the fuck they're asking "where are you from" and she hates the idea that she gets asked it because she's Asian.

"Oh are you Chinese?"
American.
"But I mean, are you Chinese or Korean or something?"
I'm... American.
"Where were are you from?"
Jersey.
"Well (getting frustrated) where were you born?"
Jersey.
"(this is where they have the GOTCHA! moment) Well where are your parents from?"
Korea.
"Oh! So you're Korean!"
Well, I'm American.
"But you're Korean"
And American.

Shit gets so funny sometimes.

Would it be better if they asked you "Are you of Korean descent"?

 

[Cagey]

Would it be better if they asked you "Are you of Korean descent"?

I'm a white dude. For her? No. She hates any permutation of the "where you from yo" question if she thinks its a form of 'othering'. She hates that it's asked of her, for example, and not of me (Italian-based Euro mutt) just based on her eyes. I imagine I'll be quite sensitive to this sort of BS when we have kids, though.

Not to derail further, though. We've just devised a way among ourselves for her to deal with these sorts of interactions in public that make it easy and funny for us.

 

[Althane]

I'm a white dude. For her? No. She hates any permutation of the "where you from yo" question if she thinks its a form of 'othering'. She hates that it's asked of her, for example, and not of me (Italian-based Euro mutt) just based on her eyes. I imagine I'll be quite sensitive to this sort of BS when we have kids, though.

Not to derail further, though. We've just devised a way among ourselves for her to deal with these sorts of interactions in public that make it easy and funny for us.

Well, it was a general question if you're curious about a person's background, but don't want to annoy them with the question stream above.

I mean, granted, I'm not most people, but I like to find out where people are from, and what ethnic background they have. Never know what good food they might bring to my attention!

Like Juicy Lucy burgers from Minneapolis, or Yakitori from Japan.

(I like food)

Anyways, my current life plan involves having biracial kids (white/black, you can probably guess which one I am. ), so it just interests me.

I would probably not be nice to anyone that did this to my kids though.

 

[kame-sennin]

Maybe the old white lady was a bit senile. That can happen with old age. Or perhaps she just honestly didn't understand how offspring for interracial couples work.

 

[T'Zariah]

ahahahaha

 

[Ether_Snake]

The lady probably thought you were the dad and she got angry cause she always wanted the black D, young stud black D.

 

[LosDaddie]

It's fun for spinning the discomfort right back onto them. Wife hates the "where are you from?" questions because that's a question reserved for non-whites and non-blacks in the US. So we play that ignorance game when it comes up and let the person being stupid get uncomfortable instead of us feeling uncomfortable. We know why the fuck they're asking "where are you from" and she hates the idea that she gets asked it because she's Asian.

"Oh are you Chinese?"
American.
"But I mean, are you Chinese or Korean or something?"
I'm... American.
"Where were are you from?"
Jersey.
"Well (getting frustrated) where were you born?"
Jersey.
"(this is where they have the GOTCHA! moment) Well where are your parents from?"
Korea.
"Oh! So you're Korean!"
Well, I'm American.
"But you're Korean"
And American.

Shit gets so funny sometimes.

I actually do the same thing when people ask me that, based on my very ethnic first & last names. Only difference being that my family has been born here in the USA as far back as Ive been able to research

 

[Eos]

woah wasn't expecting that at all
wtf was going through her head when she asked that dumbass question?