I'm gonna say my deconversion story now, whoopie:
*Catholic growing up*
So, as a youngin(about 12-15), I always wondered why my prayers weren't answered. For those years I'd ask for one thing over and over and over again just to see if it would be answered, but it never came. Now, as a youngin, I took this as the old "God works in mysterious ways" and "you either get a yes, no, maybe type situation."
During my confirmation, I was really big into my religion, I'd go to all the retreats, always go to sunday school at night(we had a sweet sunday school teacher though and a ton of MILFs that helped out, so I put it more on that anyway), and was just generally interested in this "god" idea. But, the funny part is, that becoming more and more interested int he religion is what eventually led me away from it. I ended up going to a retreat, a big one that had almost every catholic teen from alabama come to participate. I had a lot of fun, but something one of the speakers said really got onto me. He had talked about whether to adopt a child or not because his wife couldn't have kids and he asked god for a sign, prayed for a miracle basically, and for him, it actually happened.
Now, that has a happy ending, and while my prayer may not have been as warm as his, it still wasn't egotistical and would've provided me with enough proof that he was real if it had been answered (I'm really glad it wasn't now, btw). So, after hearing the mircale come true, I became fed up with how this person, who had asked for something, got it, while me, a very devout, good catholic boy got nothing he asked for, even the shit that wasn't self serving didn't get addressed, so I gave god an ultimatum, I was tired of playing around, why was I not as worthy as this man? Was I nothing to the almighty I had put all my being into? Did he just not give a shit?
So, every night for a year, I prayed for one, easily obtainable thing, but I never got it. I gave him a year, and each day I prayed, saying that at such and such day, I would forever stop being a worshiper and all you have to do to keep as a part of your flock is to give me this one tiny sign. Well, the year passed, and I stopped believing around 15 or 16. Can't remember the actual age at this time.
I figured, he either doesn't think I'm worthy, or he doesn't give a shit about me enough to give me one simple sign, something that lets me know he is there and I will give my 100% attention to him for the rest of my life. So, I think my deconversion story is a little different than most, I never went through the agnosticism phase on my way to atheism, I skipped right over it. From believer to nonbeliever in a year, and all god had to do was give me my sign, just as he had given it to the adopting father. But, it wasn't meant to be and to further add fuel, that part where he knows all really stuck to the back of my mind. He knew he wasn't going to give me the sign if he was there, so my atheism was his grand scheme in the first place if he actually exists, so I see no harm in not giving a shit about the creator that wanted me to not give a shit.
As the years went on, though, I started doing more research, reading more books, etc. And I find that logically, this is the right decision, and nothing will change that for me. He isn't there, and if he is, he doesn't give a shit about me, so I owe him nothing.
It's really funny, though, that after this whole ordeal, the thing I had asked for came after I had given him the full year. It came as an atheist, while I was working for it, not while I was praying for it. I've kept it a secret from my parents, but I have a brother that is an atheist(and she knows), so I may tell them one day, but I don't want to have to deal with my mother's overbearingness when it comes to this type of thing.
When I came to China she said, "Don't let them talk you out of your faith, I don't want to have to worry about your eternal soul." It's alright mom, I talked myself out of it a long time ago.
