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So I am done with my brother...

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The Artisan said:
Wtf, you can't do that with blood relatives or friends you are not attracted to...
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Septic360 said:
Netflix and chill with your bro? O_O
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Don't deny it OP.
 
Sorry OP, but did you skip your teenage years or something?

He is 15 and is probably in a rebellious stage.

Don't force things on him, just let him come to you instead if he needs something from you.
 
SenorPopOff said:
How does his brother seem depressed? Wanting to be left alone except for when hanging with friends is pretty standard among teenagers.
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He said that his brother doesn't have much of a social life. At 15 that can indicate depression...or lead to depression, at least. I speak from experience.

Like I already said, OP should maybe talk to his brother or talk to his parents about his brother possibly having depression so that, in case he does, he can get treated for it before he's an adult. OP should also focus first and foremost on getting treatment. OP you're really fucked up, man, and I say that as having been (and in some ways still am) in the exact same situation. Being in my teens and early 20s and having no one to rely on for a social life except for my younger sibling is no way to go through youth. Start working on yourself and seek serious treatment, NOW. Every year you don't do it is one tenth of the only 20s you will ever have, wasted. You're in your early/mid-20s, you should be growing as a person, not sitting around sulking about how your 15 year old brother won't watch Daredevil with you. It's pathetic.

How your brother is treating you now doesn't count for anything. He's 15. His circuitry and hormones are going haywire and in several years he'll normalize and be someone who can finally relate to you as another adult.
 
kerotan_eater said:
I think the problem is I have already apologized a few times and he has recognized he was being an ass too and yet it still hasn't changed. The problem is where do you draw the line. Today I had enough.
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Why would you create a thread asking for advice and then ignore ALL of it? I wouldn't want to hang out with you either.
 
demon said:
He said that his brother doesn't have much of a social life. At 15 that can indicate depression...or lead to depression, at least. I speak from experience.
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Going out once a week with friends doesn't seem like not having much of a social life. That is basically five days of school and going out on Saturdays.
 
kerotan_eater said:
I tried to recognize if that was what I was doing. Maybe, maybe not.

Anyway thanks to all the people who weren't assholes in this thread, I'll have to think this all through.
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You've made it abundantly clear that you are creating the problem. It's entirely on you. I really hope you can think this through and come to that conclusion, because that'll be the starting point for improving your relationship.
 
LookAtMeGo said:
My brother knocked a few of my teeth out, broke my hand, knocked me out and literally put me through a wall. I still love him unconditionally.

My other brother choked me out, hung me off a balcony 3 stories high threatening to drop me. I still love him unconditionally.

I haven't spoke with my other brother for years and I still love him as much as my other brothers.

They all love me as well.

It seems pretty silly to cut off a 15 year old over such trivial things OP. Just my opinion.
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Once this thread is sorted out,I want to hear the context for this post
 
demon said:
He said that his brother doesn't have much of a social life. At 15 that can indicate depression...or lead to depression, at least. I speak from experience.

Like I already said, OP should maybe talk to his brother or talk to his parents about his brother possibly having depression so that, in case he does, he can get treated for it before he's an adult. OP should also focus first and foremost on getting treatment. OP you're really fucked up, man, and I say that as having been (and in some ways still am) in the exact same situation. Being in my teens and early 20s and having no one to rely on for a social life except for my younger sibling is no way to go through youth. Start working on yourself and seek serious treatment, NOW. Every year you don't do it is one tenth of the only 20s you will ever have, wasted. You're in your early/mid-20s, you should be growing as a person, not sitting around sulking about how your 15 year old brother won't watch Daredevil with you. It's pathetic.

How your brother is treating you now doesn't count for anything. He's 15. His circuitry and hormones are going haywire and in several years he'll normalize and be someone who can finally relate to you as another adult.
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He has no clue as to who his brother hangs with or talks to at school. He hangs out with his friends on the weekend. That sounds normal for a 15 year old who really can't drive anywhere on their own. At 15 me and my friends lives were pretty much talk at school, go home and play videogames, and maybe see a movie or go bowling on a Saturday if our parents would drop us off. Sounds like just what this kid is doing.

The last thing this kid wants is his clinically depressed brother (who he doesn't want to hang with) having him tested for depression. If anything would make the situation worse that would be it. He probably looks upon his older brother as a burden at this point. Continuing to insert himself into his younger brothers life needlessly is going to harbor some long term resentment. The kid is 15, he interacts with who he wants to when he wants to. The brother can't change that right now.
 
kerotan_eater said:
Seems like it but we don't talk about anything really truly deep if that's what you are asking but just what we are doing and and what we think of it.
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So if you guys have been coexisting peacefully prior to this point in everything outside of the movie issue then what you really ought to do is apologize for the drama, explain your feelings were hurt but that it was your own baggage, and that you're here for him if he ever wants to talk to hang out and leave it at that. And if he's ready to hang out then he will be, and if he's not he's not, but you have to let him make his own decision about that.
 
SenorPopOff said:
He has no clue as to who his brother hangs with or talks to at school. He hangs out with his friends on the weekend. That sounds normal for a 15 year old who really can't drive anywhere on their own. At 15 me and my friends lives were pretty much talk at school, go home and play videogames, and maybe see a movie or go bowling on a Saturday if our parents would drop us off. Sounds like just what this kid is doing.

The last thing this kid wants is his clinically depressed brother (who he doesn't want to hang with) having him tested for depression. If anything would make the situation worse that would be it. He probably looks upon his older brother as a burden at this point. Continuing to insert himself into his younger brothers life needlessly is going to harbor some long term resentment. The kid is 15, he interacts with who he wants to when he wants to. The brother can't change that right now.
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I might've misread what his brother's social life is like. You could be right. His parents talking to his brother about it would be better anyway. I just thought it might be a concern because depression can tend to run in the family and I'm sure the OP doesn't want his little brother to be depressed and lonely at 23 like he is.
 
Bel Marduk said:
Why would you create a thread asking for advice and then ignore ALL of it? I wouldn't want to hang out with you either.
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I don't know about the op, but that's standard fare on this board. People make a thread asking for "advice", then do exactly the opposite of what everyone is telling them, only respond to those that share a similar view to their own as they have already formed an opinion before creating the topic and are mostly just looking for approval, and everyone else is an asshole just because they say it how it is

the internet, ad infinitum
 
From my experience, if you allow other people to control whether or not you're happy, you're gonna be unhappy.
 
I wont blame you because brother relationships can be difficult, as someone wich Brother insults him A lot i wish i could say i was done and he would not give a shit.

But he is your younger brother. i think having a n emotional connection is messy when you are depressed and depend on these brothers or sisters, i depend alot from my younger sister, and i basically spoil her. but in the end that really does not help me to become a better person.

That said, he is younger and just not talking wont solve anything.you are the adult. try to find common ground. or try to find new friends, treat your depression. learn i}more about him.
 
This has to be a troll. No OP could unconsciously be this unlikable. Yuck.

I can see right now that when he starts to party, it'll be at other people's house because his place is "weird".
 
What the hell am I reading? He's 15. He's just a teenager who obviously doesn't want to hang out with his adult brother all the time. You come across way too desperate. He's not obligated to watch movies with you. Let him do his own thing.

If I was like this to my younger sister she would look at me like I'm a weirdo
 
My sister always denies me to do stuff, and I don't give up on her. Lol

Sometimes people just like to do their own thing. Let them be free, and you flap your wings elsewhere.
 
kerotan_eater said:
I have no friends

30 seconds earlier?

By the way, this has already happened once and I got really angry at him and didn't talk for six months.

I'm done indefinitely with him as a person
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Maybe you should focus less on annoying your brother by being so needy and solve the first problem instead?

And fix your pettiness as well, giving him the silent treatment just because he doesn't want to hang out with you is pathetic, might have something to do with the first issue.
 
If I was him I wouldn't hang with you either. I loved my friends and hated my family at 15. That was my angriest most hormonal year.

You're so needy and pathetic. I think you nedd to sort yourself out instead of relying on your younger brother.

Maybe he can't mentally handle your condition.
 
demon said:
He said that his brother doesn't have much of a social life. At 15 that can indicate depression...or lead to depression, at least. I speak from experience.

Like I already said, OP should maybe talk to his brother or talk to his parents about his brother possibly having depression so that, in case he does, he can get treated for it before he's an adult. OP should also focus first and foremost on getting treatment. OP you're really fucked up, man, and I say that as having been (and in some ways still am) in the exact same situation. Being in my teens and early 20s and having no one to rely on for a social life except for my younger sibling is no way to go through youth. Start working on yourself and seek serious treatment, NOW. Every year you don't do it is one tenth of the only 20s you will ever have, wasted. You're in your early/mid-20s, you should be growing as a person, not sitting around sulking about how your 15 year old brother won't watch Daredevil with you. It's pathetic.

How your brother is treating you now doesn't count for anything. He's 15. His circuitry and hormones are going haywire and in several years he'll normalize and be someone who can finally relate to you as another adult.
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A 15 year old who plays videogames, watches stupid youtube videos, hangs with his friends about once a week, and can't get laid sounds abnormal to you?
 
Not all brothers are friends or even close at all. Look into getting actual friends apart from your relatives and leave your brother alone. He doesn't want to be friends with you right now; so let him come to you in his own time if that's what he wants.
 
Yeah your younger brother sounds like a jerk but he's also a kid, you're 23, you got 8 years on him which is a lifetime when they're that young


When I was 15 I wasn't exactly going out every night having awesome hobbies either, he sounds as depressed as you

Also, why are you only trying to watch media with him? Maybe go out with him and offer something else?
 
It's just about being "15". When thinking of myself, I didn't want to be around anyone for a number of years. Probably from when I was 12 to I was 21.

I just wanted to be by myself, and it was difficult for everyone to understand. I had friends who liked me, and people in school invited me to parties- I was not excluded, but I excluded myself.
I think in hindsight being really good at being with yourself has some real advantages, but also some disadvantages.
If you're good at being by yourself and your happiness is not reliant on others- That can be a valueable skill. On the other hand, not getting input from others, experiences with others, will make your life less (though as a self-described "loner" I would have protested that point 10 years ago).
It's natural for us to impose our own habits and desires onto others, so I can see where the OP is coming from, but the OP probably has trouble understanding how his brother truly feels.
By all accounts you could say he is a bad brother, a bad friend (if they pest about seeing him more than once a week) and a bad son if he does not take enough responsibility and chores at home.

I was a bad son. And a bad grandson. My mother always told me that my grandmother was old and that it was important for me not to miss birthdays, family-gettogethers. For christmas and new years I just wanted to be alone. I saw other people as expectations with faces and the more they wanted to help or inquire, the more I tried to dodge life essentially;

ZnWb830.gif


"How are your grades?" "What are you majoring in?" "Have you got a girlfriend?" "What do you want to do when you graduate?" "What can we do to make you happy?" "Why are you not seeing anyone?" "When are you gonna get off the computer and do something?"


It's not something I am super proud of and I don't think it was the best year of my teenagehood. The years after when I came out of my shell, I had one hell of catch-up, but in the last few years I have come to peace with how I felt and how I chose to isolate myself.
I don't know if it can be helped, but I don't think it could be avoided in my case. When you have been on a bad streak or followed a bad script, you have to learn of it when you emerge on the other side. I think that goes with most thing in life. The thing is though, that it is up to the individual to earn those insights through individual experience. It cannot be taught or told, it has to be felt and lived.
Your brother might regret his current strategy later, but it is up to him. My advice to you, is not to be "done with him" but merely be there for him when he asks. After all, most people are trying their best. Even if they display unattractive behavior it is because their operating system doesn't know better. And they will keep repeating that behavior until they themselves see the error.
 
He's 15 and sometimes 15 year olds are jerks. Show some interest in what he does because it sounds like you don't, and he may resent you for that. Be patient because he will grow out of this phase. Don't shun him because in the long run, it may damage your relationship with him permanently.
 
My brother is 16 and I'm 24. I offered him payment to come with me and my GF to an amusement park, all inclusive and paid... He declined. They are teenagers man, no worries.
 
Crv756 said:
My brother is 16 and I'm 24. I offered him payment to come with me and my GF to an amusement park, all inclusive and paid... He declined. They are teenagers man, no worries.
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When I was 15 it was super awkward to hang out with my brother and his GF. I'd have said no, too.
 
Sho_Nuff82 said:
I think if anyone responded to a firm "no" to hang out by trying to block out time, I'd probably shut down the time blocks as well.

It's the principle, he doesn't want scheduled movie time, and he doesn't want to feel obligated to schedule a time. He'll be there when he feels like it. It's like when your parents would tell you that you're going to visit your grandmother on Sunday. You bitch and moan and drag your feet. Why? You don't actually hate your grandmother, you hate the idea of missing out on all the cool things that you could have done (even if you didn't have plans) to be in a lame family activity.
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I was being a bit harsh when I said what I did, but what I meant is that some people's reaction to someone else being clingy is to push them away. They don't get off on it, as I said, but it's just a gut reaction I think. Like you said, he doesn't want a schedule. What if someone calls him with a better offer, what if he forgets, what something time consuming comes up and gets dangerously close to that scheduled time he doesn't want interupted, etc.
 
No offence OP but the kid is 15. He couldn't possibly grasp your situation right now. My brother was suffering from depression/bipolar too (he's younger than me though) and you know what? I hated being around him when he was ill.

Your brother is only 15. There's a decent chance he doesn't see you as fun to be around in your current state. Cut him some slack.
 
Everyone still saying "he's only 15" is missing the two key points.

OP admits to having depression and no friends. His incessant codependency is the core issue, no matter the age of the sibling.
 
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