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So, is this a good or awful idea? [Relationship Thread]

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Kirosia said:
No. Otherwise you've got a "pls respond" situation. We've all been there. Don't be that guy.
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Why can't he just do what he feels is right at the moment? All these rules. I'd agree to not do shit on a pretense, but I'd rather be that guy than not be the guy who could have been the guy, ya know. And this rule must not apply to women because they can contact you whenever they please and not be that girl.
 
breakfuss said:
Why can't he just do what he feels is right at the moment? All these rules. I'd agree to not do shit on a pretense, but I'd rather be that guy than not be the guy who could have been the guy, ya know. And this rule must not apply to women because they can contact you whenever they please and not be that girl.
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OP and this girl have had a number of problems. After reading what happened in the Relationship Thread and also this one, I think the 'just let it go' advice is best here.
 
I can't even believe that you have to think about this. It's easy, leave her.

Something similar happend to my friend, but the worse thing is, he is even weaker than you. She is exploiting the hell out of him and he is losing friends and money, which is even more sad if you know that person (like me), for more than 10 years. Love is really blind.
 
breakfuss said:
Why can't he just do what he feels is right at the moment? All these rules. I'd agree to not do shit on a pretense, but I'd rather be that guy than not be the guy who could have been the guy, ya know. And this rule must not apply to women because they can contact you whenever they please and not be that girl.
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Because from his own words in the OP, his actions in the moment don't appear to be the most rational. Else he wouldn't be asking for help from strangers in fedoras.
 
Frank Zappa said:
What about a message on her birthday? 1 month.

Just a Happy Birthday. Hope you are OK.
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No.
Just let it go.

breakfuss said:
Why can't he just do what he feels is right at the moment? All these rules. I'd agree to not do shit on a pretense, but I'd rather be that guy than not be the guy who could have been the guy, ya know. And this rule must not apply to women because they can contact you whenever they please and not be that girl.
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Are you kidding me? After what he considered doing in the OP?
 
Literally the worst idea you could ever possibly have. Not to mention if I were the groom and some random guy just showed up and caused a bunch of attention-stealing drama at my wedding...


It would end poorly.

Edt: Ah, OP has agreed with the advice in the thread. Good man.
 
ignata said:
A lot of this isn't cold, it's just honest. If she doesn't like him, why should he bother? Time to move on.
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Oh, I 100% agree just showing up at a wedding (or anywhere for that matter) is creep territory but telling him to drop her is extreme. It seems that is ALWAYS our collective response around here, lol. But that could also be because people only post situations that warrant it. Idk.
 
I've never dated someone seriously who wouldn't even name drop their most recent ex.

Even if it was someone you knew, why would you throw it into her face that you found out? Did it really change anything, knowing who the guy was? Unless he was in your circle of friends...

This wedding sounds like a disaster. Stay far away. Talk sensibly when she gets back. Why on earth did you buy a ring and then break up with her?
 
Worst idea I've ever heard, you are love drunk right now and starting to justify some wild ideas as something that would win her over. Look, if you have to trick someone into loving you .. that ain't love.

This move is extremely desperate, which indicates to me that at 30 the biggest reason you're struggling to find single women isn't the women, its your insecurities. You gotta love yourself before you will ever be happy.

Leave this girl alone, there is no pot of gold at the end of this jagged rainbow. Instead, reflect upon this mistake of a relationship and start asking yourself some tough questions. "What can I do to avoid this again in the future?" "How can I grow as a person?" The day you shed yourself of such insecurities, its like a pheromone .. and women will hone in on it and come to you. Women can sniff out an insecure man a mile away.. and you know what they do once the gig is up?

They block you on FB and Whatsapp.

edit. I mean no harm in this post, I"m trying to be frank and honest because I feel like thats what you need to hear, even though it may not be what you want to hear. Much love my buddy, I struggled for years with insecurity so I know dat feel.
 
BumbleB said:
Worst idea I've ever heard, you are love drunk right now and starting to justify some wild ideas as something that would win her over. Look, if you have to trick someone into loving you .. that ain't love.

This move is extremely desperate, which indicates to me that at 30 the biggest reason you're struggling to find single women isn't the women, its your insecurities. You gotta love yourself before you will ever be happy.

Leave this girl alone, there is not pot of gold at the end of this jagged rainbow. Instead, reflect upon this mistake of a relationship and start asking yourself some tough questions. "What can I do to avoid this again in the future?" "How can I grow as a person?" The day you shed yourself of such insecurities, its like a pheromone .. and women will hone in on it and come to you. Women can sniff out an insecure man a mile away.. and you know what they do once the gig is up?

They block you on FB and Whatsapp.
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Ouch.
 
Frank Zappa said:
We had some trust problems. We used to date last year, but we broke up. We got back together back in February. We broke up because for two reasons: when we got back together, she went out on with his ex-boyfriend, but she didn't tell me. She told me last week. I didn't even get mad, just sad. Then I told her that I knew who this boyfriend was (she never told me). See, last year when we broke up, I started digging into her past (my mistake) and I found out who her ex-boyfriend was. So, she got mad at me for investigating her past.

It got ugly. We went out two days ago just to try to see what happened but it didn't work. She screamed at me, she told me some extremely bad words.
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All that happened... And, one month after you got back together:

Frank Zappa said:
Thing is... I bought her an engagement ring a few weeks ago. Her birthday is in June.
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Umm...
 
Yeah, you're still hurting from the breakup. I know, it sucks. But it will pass, and once you get to that point, you'll see that she wasn't perfect and there are many more women out there who will make you much happier. Just give it some time. Keep yourself busy to get her out of your head. Friends, family, gym, etc.
 
Glad you realized how crazy you sounded. Sometimes you just need to write things down to get perspective on the,.

One thing I want to point out is how selfish and rude it is to use someone else's wedding to try to fix your relationship. The same goes for proposing at someone else's wedding, if you planned to take it that far. Not only will everyone at the wedding think you're a socially retarded narcissist, you will also be unleashing some of the greatest humiliation a person can have fully-clothed on your significant other.
 
Revoh said:
Your story is similar to my situation, I broke with my girlfriend (of only 2 months) yesterday for real because she fucked me over. I'm a jealous guy, but my instinct is always spot on, one day I checked out his phone and read a few messages that hurt me (with her ex). She lied to me saying it was just a friend, a few weeks later we run into this guy at a party and shit hit the fan, I knew there that it was her ex and everyhing made sense. Also, I couldn't trust her anymore which led me to hack her FB (I know, I went too far) and I saw even more stuff. We talked about it and we both forgive each other but it wasn't the same anymore. The relationship wasn't healthy anymore, we fought all the time, it went to shit. My advice: find new pussy.
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brb putting a passcode on my phone
 
Frank Zappa said:
Well... I just got out of work. Right now I'm buying some tacos. I will then go to my house, masturbate, take a shower and go and see Godzilla alone.

Awesome Friday night.
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Combine the masturbation and the movie. A good old fashioned danger wank might be just what the doctor ordered.

Also, why do you feel that you can only go to metal bars? Don't get me wrong, that's my scene too but life is so much better when you mix things up. You won't be 'selling out' or anything. You don't have to go to a townie or redneck bar wearing your Cannibal Corpse or Manowar shirt, just a normal bar with friends. And girls with black hair and tattoos go to non metal bars too these days.
 
Frank Zappa said:
A little bit of background.

Well... me and my girlfriend (ex) broke up last week. I'm 30 and she is 32. Both single, no kids. It is kinda getting hard to meet women of my age who are single. It sucks.

We had some trust problems. We used to date last year, but we broke up. We got back together back in February. We broke up because for two reasons: when we got back together, she went out on with his ex-boyfriend, but she didn't tell me. She told me last week. I didn't even get mad, just sad. Then I told her that I knew who this boyfriend was (she never told me). See, last year when we broke up, I started digging into her past (my mistake) and I found out who her ex-boyfriend was. So, she got mad at me for investigating her past.

It got ugly. We went out two days ago just to try to see what happened but it didn't work. She screamed at me, she told me some extremely bad words.

But I don't want to give up. I plan to give her some space. No contact for a few weeks. She already blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp.

Thing is... I bought her an engagement ring a few weeks ago. Her birthday is in June.

We were supposed to go to the wedding of a friend just a few days before her birthday. The wedding is in Dallas, TX (the travel is around 8 hours by car). Obviously I'm not invited anymore. She is still going with some friends.

So... would it be wise to show up at the wedding, surprise her and tell her that I traveled just to tell her that I'm sorry. Just to tell her that I want her back and want to fix everything.

Good or bad idea?
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Terrible idea.

At least for the time being, it is over. Let it go.
 
Frank Zappa said:
What about a message on her birthday? 1 month.

Just a Happy Birthday. Hope you are OK.
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OP noooo.

What are you doing.

So far you're on a progressive roll, listening to us and following our advice. Now is not the time to regress back into stupid decision making.
 
rocketskates said:
OP noooo.

What are you doing.

So far you're on a progressive roll, listening to us and following our advice. Now is not the time to regress back into stupid decision making.
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To be fair, I'd take any advice from GAF with a pound of salt.

But they're right OP. Where you're at right now isn't healthy. It's good that you're letting go and watching a movie, getting out for a drink, but the urge to contact her will cone back.

This isn't a guess, its certainty. When that happens just remember, things can always get much, much worse than they are.
 
If you truly want her back. Just cut everything and everything...and everything.
She will be in touch, give it one month or so.
 
So... I was writing a text to her at midnight. I was drunk. I read the thread again and as soon as I read the "Pls respond" comments, I didn't send it.

Man... I hate these stupid breakup things.
 
Frank Zappa said:
So... I was writing a text to her at midnight. I was drunk. I read the thread again and as soon as I read the "Pls respond" comments, I didn't send it.

Man... I hate these stupid breakup things.
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Lock away your phone and don't use the internet this weekend.
Just try to get outside, and away from people, and keep yourself busy.
 
Frank Zappa said:
So... I was writing a text to her at midnight. I was drunk. I read the thread again and as soon as I read the "Pls respond" comments, I didn't send it.

Man... I hate these stupid breakup things.
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One step at a time brah. Human emotions suck, try to maintain as much rationality as possible. And maybe lay off the juice.
 
Before the shower, 5mg of Valium. I'm having some anxiety lately.

No, I'm not driving.
TtS95aj.jpg
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Frank Zappa said:
Yeah. We had a huge problem trusting each other. That was our main problem.
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Every serious relationship I've seen fail has come down to trust. I think that maybe once it's gone, it's not coming back unless both parties are prepared to do a lot of work. So, maybe it's all over OP :(
 
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