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[SpacedCadette]

Just echoing what others have said, but you really do need to tell him ASAP. Things might be a little awkward but as long as you tell him honestly and respectfully that, hey, it just didn't really work out I'm sure things will be fine.

I had roommates before where, after living together for a year, we all decided that it just wasn't really working out and because we were upfront about it we split on good terms. Just make a point to tell him that it's not personal and it's just a case of personalities not clicking. Maybe offer to give him a hand moving if he needs it and just be friendly. After everything you just shake hands and wish him the best as you all continue your lives.

 

[Imperial Hot]

Tell us about his "shady" behavior.

Did he make a move on a girl that one of you was hoping to talk to some time next semester?

Hahahaha. No no man. He stole a neighbor's bowl(not for cooking). He also got really drunk on Halloween and started swinging on us. This was the second or third time that had happened, but halloween was the most notable. He also doesn't contibute to the food inventory and chores.

 

[RagnarokX]

It would be nice to know what exactly you don't like about this roommate, because "shady" is so vague it could range from just being an introvert to being a criminal. Is it something you could discuss with him and have him change instead of going around his back, or something unforgivable?

Edit: OK, then, tell him that and give him time to find living arrangements.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Hahahaha. No no man. He stole a neighbor's bowl(not for cooking). He also got really drunk on Halloween and started swinging on us. This was the second or third time that had happened, but halloween was the most notable. He also doesn't contibute to the food inventory and chores.

Fair enough.

Just be direct. There are 3 of you and you are all allegedly adults. Nothing to worry about or be sneaky about.

 

[Seraphinianus]

being up-front is the best way to handle these kinds of things.

Hahahaha. No no man. He stole a neighbor's bowl(not for cooking). He also got really drunk on Halloween and started swinging on us. This was the second or third time that had happened, but halloween was the most notable. He also doesn't contibute to the food inventory and chores.

and if he asks why, cite these things. and if he says "I can change!!11" then tell him tough shit. It'll work out better for everyone and maybe he'll see the error of his ways. If he doesn't right then, he will later if he's smart. For your health!

 

[SpacedCadette]

Hahahaha. No no man. He stole a neighbor's bowl(not for cooking). He also got really drunk on Halloween and started swinging on us. This was the second or third time that had happened, but halloween was the most notable. He also doesn't contibute to the food inventory and chores.

Mention those things if he tries to guilt trip you guys about moving on without him. Otherwise just be as neutral as possible when bringing it up. He may be a dick but if you want this to go smoothly you might have to let it slide for now.


Edit: out of curiosity. Did you guys ever bring any of this up with him before now?

 

[Grinchy]

Jesus christ please dont do this. That is a horrible suggestion. Imagine if he didnt ask then 3 days before the end of the month he sees everyone moving out. He is then stuck with finding 3 roommates in 72 hours, paying rent himself, or doing all the research they had weeks to do in only a matter of days and getting all his shit out. Its a fucked up thing to do to a person.

This guy could totally be an asshole, but that doesnt mean you should be an incredible dick to him in return because you where too much of a pussy to tell him earlier.

I'm not saying I agree that they should do this to the guy, but don't you think that a grown man who waits until 3 days before the end of a lease to inquire about the future deserves a harsh lesson in life?

 

[nateeasy]

Hide a bunch of your valuables under his bed. Then accuse him of stealing shit.

 

[Count Dookkake]

I'm not saying I agree that they should do this to the guy, but don't you think that a grown man who waits until 3 days before the end of a lease to inquire about the future deserves a harsh lesson in life?

Being able to articulate one's decisions and act upon them would be a better lesson for the others.

 

[The Albatross]

Wouldn't not telling him they are moving out until they move out be incredibly dickish?

"Oh, hey, bud, btw, we're moving to a new apartment tomorrow without you. You might want to find a place to live."

You don't sound like a very good friend... It's his job to already know about the secret plot against him he has no reason to think is happening?

Just tell the guy. Give him as much time to find living arrangements as you had.

Unless I'm reading OP's post wrong, they're not moving out, it's the end of the college year (they're in a dorm), colleges have all sorts of protocol for this. The thing is, it's this guy's responsibility to ask who he's living with the next year, not assume he's just going to be carried along in other people's plans. I get frustrated when somebody doesn't take responsibility for their own future and ask, "hey what are you doing for housing next year?" In my situation, it was almost exactly like that, my roommates will find a place for me, my roommates will fill out the paper work, my roommates will go apply for the housing, etc. But, just to clarify, my first point was to say "tell him." My second point was, fuck him, you're not his mother, if he can't figure out what dorm he's living in next year, it's not your responsibility.

 

[RagnarokX]

Unless I'm reading OP's post wrong, they're not moving out, it's the end of the college year (they're in a dorm), colleges have all sorts of protocol for this. The thing is, it's this guy's responsibility to ask who he's living with the next year, not assume he's just going to be carried along in other people's plans. I get frustrated when somebody doesn't take responsibility for their own future and ask, "hey what are you doing for housing next year?" In my situation, it was almost exactly like that, my roommates will find a place for me, my roommates will fill out the paper work, my roommates will go apply for the housing, etc. But, just to clarify, my first point was to say "tell him." My second point was, fuck him, you're not his mother, if he can't figure out what dorm he's living in next year, it's not your responsibility.

They're renting an apartment... They want to move to a new apartment and exclude this guy. I think you definitely read the op wrong.

Last year, my freshmen year of college, I met three other guys in my dorm and we became good friends and decided to get a four-bedroom apartment together for this year.

Now being halfway living together in a four bedroom apartment, the three of us have started to dislike one of the other guys. It turned out he was just kind of a shady guy who wasn't trustworthy.

So know we're all talking about next year's accommodations, naturally the three of us are trying to prune this one guy from the group and drop down a three bedroom in another location. The three of us have discussed it and all have agreed on it.

 

[Korey]

Unless I'm reading OP's post wrong, they're not moving out, it's the end of the college year (they're in a dorm), colleges have all sorts of protocol for this. The thing is, it's this guy's responsibility to ask who he's living with the next year, not assume he's just going to be carried along in other people's plans. I get frustrated when somebody doesn't take responsibility for their own future and ask, "hey what are you doing for housing next year?" In my situation, it was almost exactly like that, my roommates will find a place for me, my roommates will fill out the paper work, my roommates will go apply for the housing, etc. But, just to clarify, my first point was to say "tell him." My second point was, fuck him, you're not his mother, if he can't figure out what dorm he's living in next year, it's not your responsibility.

It's actually up to both parties to talk to each other about this, it's not any one person's responsibility. Because we're humans and can communicate with each other

 

[Kinitari]

Tell him that you plan on moving out in a few months (don't specify together) and that it would be a good idea to start looking for new places to live - talk about in a group, with everyone also bringing up individually that they want to move out as well. As a group, use phrases like
"Yeah, I have been thinking about moving out myself"
"You guys have been great roommates, but it's time for something different"
"I don't know where all of us plan on moving too, but hopefully some of us can keep in touch"

You haven't uttered a single lie, and if it goes well - you all move in together. If you want to lie when he asks where you guys plan on moving - each of you plan on moving to places that would be unappealing to him - super far away maybe, back in with your parents, in with your girlfriends etc.

 

[teruterubozu]

I once drove an unwanted roommate insane until he moved out. It's an effective tactic.

 

[The Albatross]

They're renting an apartment... They want to move to a new apartment and exclude this guy. I think you definitely read the op wrong.

Oh, you're right.. I read that they were in a dorm and didn't read that they moved from the dorm. Figured they were still in a dorm.

That being said, aye, gotta talk to him in this case. I'd still insist, though, when you have somebody who refuses to plan anything for themselves in college for their future dorm, etc., that person needs to take some responsibility in talking to people about it. Though, when in an apartment and in a lease situation, it is different.

 

[Grinchy]

Being able to articulate one's decisions and act upon them would be a better lesson for the others.

But why do the other 3 need to learn a lesson?

I guess I've just had my share of shitty roommates. Some of my best friends over the years became people I never wanted to associate with again because I lived with them for a year and found out who they really were. The last guy I lived with argued with me about when the end of the lease was for months. I told him I was moving out at the end of the lease, and he kept arguing that there was one more month before it ended.

Then one day his brilliant mind told him to look at the damn lease papers. Oh, guess who was right. Then he ignored it a little longer and said since he didn't turn in a 45 day notice, I owed him an extra month of rent (I had already moved out at this point). What a fucking idiot. I had no problem letting him take on the full month's rent.

 

[Count Dookkake]

But why do the other 3 need to learn a lesson?

Because they are acting like sissies, while outnumbering someone who has stolen from them.

College is for learning more than what is taught in class.

 

[echoshifting]

But why do the other 3 need to learn a lesson?

Why not? One cannot control how others act. That isn't an excuse for poor behavior. You treat others with the same respect you'd like in return, even if you don't always get it.

 

[Grinchy]

You guys are making the shithead out to be the victim, though. Sure, the new living arrangements should be brought up with the guy. But if they don't do that, and he says nothing about it until days before the lease ends, then I'd feel no sympathy.

 

[MC Safety]

Tell him that you plan on moving out in a few months (don't specify together) and that it would be a good idea to start looking for new places to live - talk about in a group, with everyone also bringing up individually that they want to move out as well. As a group, use phrases like
"Yeah, I have been thinking about moving out myself"
"You guys have been great roommates, but it's time for something different"
"I don't know where all of us plan on moving too, but hopefully some of us can keep in touch"

You haven't uttered a single lie, and if it goes well - you all move in together. If you want to lie when he asks where you guys plan on moving - each of you plan on moving to places that would be unappealing to him - super far away maybe, back in with your parents, in with your girlfriends etc.

There's no need for lies or deceit.

One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to deliver bad news honestly, and receive it with grace.

 

[Count Dookkake]

You guys are making the shithead out to be the victim, though. Sure, the new living arrangements should be brought up with the guy. But if they don't do that, and he says nothing about it until days before the lease ends, then I'd feel no sympathy.

To be clear, I'm making the victims out to be sissies.

This can change, though.

 

[echoshifting]

You guys are making the shithead out to be the victim, though. Sure, the new living arrangements should be brought up with the guy. But if they don't do that, and he says nothing about it until days before the lease ends, then I'd feel no sympathy.

No I'm not. Treating others with respect =/= treating them like victims.

To be clear, I'm making the victims out to be sissies.

This can change, though.

This too.

 

[RagnarokX]

You guys are making the shithead out to be the victim, though. Sure, the new living arrangements should be brought up with the guy. But if they don't, and he says nothing about it until days before the lease ends, then I'd feel no sympathy.

He may not be a good roommate, but he is definitely a victim if they move out without telling him. You can not like dicks, but that's no reason to be dicks.

 

[Slayven]

Have a meeting and say "Everybody that is rooming together raise their hand." When he raised his, tell him "no not you Steve".

 

[Demy]

Tell him he doesn't fit in. Honesty is usually the best thing.

Yep. Plus you get the clean conscience perk.

 

[FloppyDelux]

Dear ____

we had a meeting and think that its time that you fly the nest. Its not that we hate you its just that its not working out.

Sincerely
_____
_____
_____


or something like that since you are trying not to hurt the other room mates feeling.

 

[woolley]

Just tell him and do it as soon as you can so he isn't screwed on a living situation for the next semester.

 

[dojokun]

After he has fallen asleep, sneak a chair into his bedroom. Set it down right by him gently. Sit in it and wacth him sleep. Cough in order to wake him up. After this, he will want nothing to do with you.

 

[Imperial Hot]

Mention those things if he tries to guilt trip you guys about moving on without him. Otherwise just be as neutral as possible when bringing it up. He may be a dick but if you want this to go smoothly you might have to let it slide for now.


Edit: out of curiosity. Did you guys ever bring any of this up with him before now?

Yes we have addressed it. We've addressed every issue when it happened and he usually got defensive and uncooperative. We did tell him one that we want to do a three with our him but we were having an argument and while it did smooth over he assumed that we still didn't want him out.

 

[Fusion Pizza]

Just tell him you guys are moving out and he needs to find living arrangements, shit sucks but you gotta do it.

 

[Gully State]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=SO6JX-EOkm4#t=499s

 

[Kinyou]

Have a meeting and say "Everybody that is rooming together raise their hand." When he raised his, tell him "no not you Steve".

Good idea, optionally you could also put a sign on your apartment's door that says "No Steves Club"

 

[Power Glove]

"Ok, so everyone who's moving into the new apartment, take a step forward."

*everyone takes a step forward*

"Whoa hold up there [unwanted roommate]."

*audience laughter and applause*

 

[RagnarokX]

Good idea, optionally you could also put a sign on your apartment's door that says "No Steves Club"

But you let in Steve Glumplich!

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Dear ____

we had a meeting and think that its time that you fly the nest. Its not that we hate you its just that its not working out.

Sincerely
_____
_____
_____


or something like that since you are trying not to hurt the other room mates feeling.

Don't leave a note like this. Be mature and tell him three of you are moving out and he'll need to find a new place to live. that's it easy.

 

[Extra Sauce]

and if he says yes?

If he says yes, he's bluffing. You guys must play along until he breaks. Go for broke. It's the only way.

 

[Live Free or Die]

Play him in a match of MW3 and tell him if you win he has to leave.

 

[Kozak]

Tell him he is a liability which you no longer want to share responsibility.

If he gets angry and tells you to go fuck yourself its okay cause you don't like him.

 

[Poyunch]

Tell him a mutual friend has recently died and that you three had all inherited an apartment that you must take.

 

[perryfarrell]

Tell him you got a better candidate lined up. Or that you don't need him as a roommate at the new place.

 

[xxracerxx]

Tell him you got a better candidate lined up. Or that you don't need him as a roommate at the new place.

Why lie like that?

 

[tokkun]

I'm not saying I agree that they should do this to the guy, but don't you think that a grown man who waits until 3 days before the end of a lease to inquire about the future deserves a harsh lesson in life?

I don't understand how this "don't tell him" plan would even work. Surely their current landlord will want to know whether they are renewing the lease several months in advance.

 

[MechaX]

Just tell him the truth.

 

[DoomGyver]

Just tell him the truth.

This.

Why is it so hard for you people to just tell the truth? Sit him down one on one and explain the roommate situation to him.

 

[Finaika]

Tell him he's shady.

 

[Uriah]

Be honest and direct.

 

[RadioHeadAche]

Hahahaha. No no man. He stole a neighbor's bowl(not for cooking). He also got really drunk on Halloween and started swinging on us. This was the second or third time that had happened, but halloween was the most notable. He also doesn't contibute to the food inventory and chores.

Good luck with the four-way.

 

[jaxword]

 

[slidewinder]

Probably already been covered, but just have the one person who gets along with him best tell him in private.

 

[Anteater]

Show him this thread