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[MindCollizion]

Soccer is not boring to either watch or play. WTF is this guy's problem? Foreign invasion? Yeah that's your ticket right there.

 

[captive]

I think the entire article was written with tongue placed firmly in cheek.

Yea but neogaf soccer are hard to the core! Dont dare enunciate anything negative about futbol!.

 

[KHarvey16]

It fails whether it's serious or tongue in cheek.

 

[Tarazet]

I was expecting to love the article, I did not.

Soccer is great exercise, but I sometimes wonder how a sport with almost zero pro potential here can be so popular.

You might as well ask why people ride bicycles.

 

[FuturusX]

Goddammit. I was gonna say "head in ass," but you're close enough. Son of a bitch!

I'm from Europe...so I thought it best to pander to our predilection for finding a sexual reference in everything, in direct contrast to my puritanical American colleagues :lol

 

[rainking187]

What other game, to put it bluntly, is so boring to watch?

Fail. No one in the US watches soccer. Seriously, how is a sport that no one in America gives a shit about ruining America?

 

[Kintaro]

I don't know about this guy, but as a kid living in Germany while playing Soccer/Football, I was definitely broken down and built back up again...and again...and again.

 

[Tobor]

I try to watch Soccer from time to time, but the constant flopping and fake injuries really turns me off. Why don't they just insert a time-out system so players don't have to pretend to die to catch their breath?

That said, the article is utterly stupid.

 

[Gary Whitta]

That article is utterly idiotic. Anyone who thinks that football is "linear and two-dimensional" simply doesn't know what the fuck they are talking about.

Thanks for the LOL!

 

[nyong]

There is no way that article is meant to be taken seriously.

That said, there's a reason that the overwhelming majority of planet earth has chosen "soccer" as its favorite sport. It's graceful, requires skill, and doesn't require untold thousands of dollars worth of equipment to play. Low-scoring games being a turn-off to Americans says far more about their attention span than it does the game's entertainment value.

By contrast, popular American sports are big, fast, flashy, and heavily marketed. We favored the biggest, tallest athletes in the country and designed games that only they would be good at. Games that have more to do with genetics than skill or heart.

As for European athletes being nancy-boys? This might be insensitive, but how bad-ass is the NFL, really, when you have several athletes capsize their boat in the ocean and drown themselves after two freaking hours because they can't take it any longer? They have heart?.....please. They have genetics specifically favored for one silly game.

Compete with the rest of the planet if you want something to genuinely brag about Americans. Start taking "soccer" seriously.

 

[Ulairi]

GAF RAGE: It's a joke.

 

[Gary Whitta]

Compete with the rest of the planet if you want something to genuinely brag about Americans.

True dat. I love how the winners of domestic US sports leagues are often self-anointed as "world champions" :lol

 

[Brobzoid]

I try to watch Soccer from time to time, but the constant flopping and fake injuries really turns me off. Why don't they just insert a time-out system so players don't have to pretend to die to catch their breath?

That said, the article is utterly stupid.

I don't really like it when players over-do this either... But there are leagues of players that don't do this though. Just stay away from Spanish/Italian games

 

[electricpirate]

We finally know what Astrolad looks like!

Spoiler

Ultimate is a better sport

 

[Wes]

I try to watch Soccer from time to time, but the constant flopping and fake injuries really turns me off. Why don't they just insert a time-out system so players don't have to pretend to die to catch their breath?

They pretend in the hope they get a set-piece in the hope of increasing their team's chances of scoring/controling play. The clockwatch is always going. Extra time is added on at the end as required to sum up to 45 minutes total. There'll never be a time-out system. It's one of the reason we don't have video replays to adjudicate decisions. Time-outs would lead to ad-breaks in the middle of games and the broadcaster would be hated for doing that.

 

[Ryck]

This guy is right tho... Soccer is boring.

American Football is played by criminals in shoulder pads.

Baseball is roided up losers playing yawn inducing bs for 3-6 hours.

Golf is just an excuse for old talentless men who can't do anything else to have a chance to compete at something.

Does Hockey still even exist?


Basketball is the only true sport.

 

[BigJonsson]

Baseball and hockey >>> soccer

 

[Tobor]

They pretend in the hope they get a set-piece in the hope of increasing their team's chances of scoring/controling play. The clockwatch is always going. Extra time is added on at the end as required to sum up to 45 minutes total. There'll never be a time-out system. It's one of the reason we don't have video replays to adjudicate decisions. Time-outs would lead to ad-breaks in the middle of games and the broadcaster would be hated for doing that.

I'm sorry, pretending to be injured for any reason is sad and unappealing.

 

[Insane Metal]

 

[FuturusX]

Soccer is NOT ruining America.

America is ruining America. Every nation slowly eats itself...but that's another discussion.

This article reminds of the genius of George Carlin's "Stuff" routine. Without the genius.

Wherein George proclaims:

"Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff." Substitute Stuff for sport and voila.

Essentially, soccer isn't America's sport so therefore its worthless, It belongs to the rest of the world and we love it.

@ 2:10 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac

 

[AndresON777]

 

[KHarvey16]

As with many sports your ability to be entertained is tied to your ability to understand what's going on. Baseball, and I assume soccer, is infinitely more enjoyable if you know what's going on under the surface.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

Soccer isn't ruining America.

America is ruining Football.

Those complaints prove that America just doesn't get it.

This.

The person who wrote this and the people who believe it are idiots. I don't even know where to start with this to be quite honest.

 

[skybaby]

Americans, we don't want you to love football. You can basically fuck off the world of football for all all we care.

signed,
The world

 

[ATF487]

Americans, we don't want you to love football. You can basically fuck off the world of football for all all we care.

signed,
The world

Don't be a dick, there's a lot of Americans who love the game, and understand it. i.e me.

This guy is just a fucking retard. The fact that he's actually shaping student's minds at a university makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[Lakitu]

Soccer is the most enteraining sport in the world. Not just the game itself but the hype and shit talking that goes with it. It's awesome.

Cedeo's a bitch.

 

[B_Rik_Schitthaus]

Isnt it funny most Americans only like sports no other country plays,Scared to loose?

 

[Ela Hadrun]

Baseball is the most fucking boring shit I ever saw or played

That said, real men and women play hockey.

This. I edited it a little for the sake of my little sister who could probably trash half the Gaffers in this thread at once.

 

[Feep]

Though I don't personally enjoy soccer, I see its value as a beautiful game enjoyed by billions worldwide. The only part of this argument with which I agree is the part about sheltering our children from failure and loss.

This guy seriously needs to get laid, I think.

 

[Gouty]

I use my girlfriend as a barometer for what is and isn’t good when something heavily contested like this comes up. I just plug in the discussed subject into a simple math equation and voila, instant truth!

Loves pretentious Wes Anderson movies + albums by the Shins + thinks soccer is terrific = soccer is shit.


You’re welcome.

 

[FuturusX]

I use my girlfriend as a barometer for what is and isn’t good when something heavily contested like this comes up. I just plug in the discussed subject into a simple math equation and voila, instant truth!

Loves pretentious Wes Anderson movies + albums by the Shins + thinks soccer is terrific = soccer is shit.


You’re welcome.

No thank you...
BTW: She's clearly having an affair with a Frenchman called Jean-pierre...in other words she's got good taste.

 

[Musashi Wins!]

Isnt it funny most Americans only like sports no other country plays,Scared to loose?

No ones scared to get loose. And you misunderstand America. You're wholly irrelevant to us.

You guys get the article is a joke, right? Are soccer fans dumber than football fans!?

I actually do like soccer, just not the MLS here. I don't know why it's so different watching soccer in America. Must be the energy in the crowds. It's strange to me though, conceivably American soccer players have been playing soccer their whole lives, but they usually don't compete nationally. It's as if you do need to be born into the culture of soccer to fully "get it".

 

[Pimpwerx]

Soccer is the greatest sport in the world. I say that eventhough I rarely watch it and am fully in love with American football. But yeah, soccer is something special. Ole ole ole. PEACE.

 

[SupahBlah]

Who likes soccer anyway?

 

[Kandrick]

Who likes soccer anyway?

Who the fuck calls it soccer anyway ?

 

[Gouty]

Who the fuck calls it soccer anyway ?

Americans who want to differentiate between two completely different sports that share the same name.

 

[gollumsluvslave]

The game is called Fitbaw...

Sheesh

 

[WingM@n]

Soccer (football) is not populair in the US because they cannot fit in any commercial breaks in between the game. So networks won't show many matches.

Football is still the most populair sport world-wide, and I think if the US had a great team it would gain respect, but they suck at playing football..

 

[Cruzader]

The author, who is also a vegetarian.

I have nothing else to add.

Sounds like someone sucked hard at playing futbol when he was young.

Seriously soccer is awesome. I use to play when I was young and since im lazy, dont anymore but its fun as hell. Also its the only real international sport. I love it when football teams rejoice they are "world champions" yet they only compete within the US :lol :lol

Now soccer, if someone wins the world cup...they ARE the World champions for realz.

 

[Yazan]

 

[Armitage]

Guys. Sarcasm. Satire.

 

[kaizoku]

does America know a lot of the rest of the world hate american sports for similar reasons?

 

[ConfusingJazz]

I would dare anyone - ANYONE - from the USA to walk into a bar in Glasgow, Scotland and call everyone a "nancy boy".

I think Brian Orakpo would:

Personally, I am alright with soccer, I just think they need to tweak the rules for a bit. Add a couple inches to the goal, add a ref to catch off ball penalties, and get a time judge so players don't take 10 minutes to throw the ball back in bounds at the end of the game.

Oh, and do something about flopping.

 

[SatelliteOfLove]

Hank: "Bobby, soccer was invented for european women to play while their husbands cooked dinner."

Soccer is not boring to either watch or play. WTF is this guy's problem? Foreign invasion? Yeah that's your ticket right there.

TO ME:

Soccer is the opposite of baseball. Baseball is hard to have fun watching, but fun to play. Soccer is fun to watch but boring to play. /shrug

I wish the pitch was smaller so more of the players are actually PLAYING at any given moment. It's one of the worst of the goal sports about this.

 

[Kabouter]

The real tragedy is that soccer is a foreign invasion, but it is not a plot to overthrow America. For those inclined toward paranoia, it would be easy to blame soccer’s success on the political left, which, after all, worked for years to bring European decadence and despair to America.

Yes.
Not the best piece of satire I've ever read though.

 

[qcf x2]

I agree with the article*. Fortunately, soccer isn't that popular these days as the middle aged moms have decided it isn't trendy any more. And nobody ever watched the league we have in America.

* That soccer is boring, not that it is ruining the country.

 

[dangrib]

I hate this ''soccer'' shit. Only you guys say soccer. Its football. Always has been. Always will be. NFL/American handegg/Gridiron is the UMD of sports for fucks sake. Football is the greatest sport of all. You can't argue with the world. I really hate that article.

(Sorry for all the anger. That article got on my nerves) :lol

 

[Osorio]

I agree with the article*. Fortunately, soccer isn't that popular these days as the middle aged moms have decided it isn't trendy any more. And nobody ever watched the league we have in America. .

What? You make it seem like it isn't the most played sport in the country and that MLS is gone or something.

 

[Herpes Reasons]

soccer players are the biggest pansy actors in the world, besides paul pierce.

 

[gollumsluvslave]

I think Brian Orakpo would:

:lol

Ever been to Glasgow?