Maybe give those a try then? It's a much more healthy and friendly environment and you'll learn to see that people aren't the giant scary monsters you are envisioning.
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Social anxiety in online gaming
- Thread starter king grimlock
- Start date
Maybe give those a try then? It's a much more healthy and friendly environment and you'll learn to see that people aren't the giant scary monsters you are envisioning.
I hate playing with strangers. I wouldn't like to play with people I don't know, this includes GAF or 'online groups'. I'm more comfortable playing 1v1 games like FIFA and stopped playing Battlefield and multiplayer games completely. Had some fun playing MK9.
Guess I really don't like having to coordinate with other people or having to deal with their bullshit.
Honestly though, I have felt compelled to plug my mic and throw a shitload of insults to the bunch of assholes of my team when playing Rush in BF. Sometimes it's goddamn impossible how the other team are a bunch of "best friends with mics" commandos and mine are snipers who get pushed out of the M-COM.
Guess I really don't like having to coordinate with other people or having to deal with their bullshit.
Honestly though, I have felt compelled to plug my mic and throw a shitload of insults to the bunch of assholes of my team when playing Rush in BF. Sometimes it's goddamn impossible how the other team are a bunch of "best friends with mics" commandos and mine are snipers who get pushed out of the M-COM.
I'm kind of in the same situation, which is why I usually play online games that have generally better/nicer communities. MMORPGs and the like, including Marvel Heroes, is relaxing because it's just grinding with people and chatting about whatever. As for more competitive games, TF2 was a mostly pleasant experience, even with voice chat. In CSGO, I do have a fear of playing the normal game mode because of how intimidating it is, so I just play death match. For MOBA's I tend to stick with easy co-op, since even if you do suck, people won't care. I also like games that have no communication at all, which is why I'm never bothered about Nintendo's approach to online gaming. Splatoon has been extremely fun, and even if I suck, it's not going to be a big deal.
king grimlock
Member
Problem is I know that people are dickheads online and offline and I have no interest in playing sports other than shooting a few hoops every now and then.
brickwalker0
Member
i deal with anxiety issues too, the first setting i look for in online games is a mute option that stays on by default every match for everyone. otherwise i plug in a headset and just dont put it on.
Iorv3th
Member
You just have to keep plugging away. Eventually you will get comfortable with a certain game or community. That won't necessarily transfer to other games though. Alcohol helps if your of legal age.
I used to have social anxiety pretty bad but got a job where I have to talk to people all day long and I have gotten a lot better at handling it. Still have it and it still sucks, but not as severe.
You should play with people from GAF or something, then you don't have to worry about it so much. I mean you were able to make this thread on GAF
.
I used to have social anxiety pretty bad but got a job where I have to talk to people all day long and I have gotten a lot better at handling it. Still have it and it still sucks, but not as severe.
You should play with people from GAF or something, then you don't have to worry about it so much. I mean you were able to make this thread on GAF
.It can get out of hand at times, i remember on fleet ops in EVE someone going completely batshit crazy on half the fleet because they didn't do the exact thing the FC said exactly how and when he said to do it.
I have never, in my entire life, heard as many insults in a single conversation to so many different people as that one.
But people do that sort of thing, with the rise of COD there was a mass influx of squeeky teenagers callingpeople noob, or loser, or saying you suck, but thats all their opinion, they're the ones taking gaming way too seriously
Learning to shrug it off and go about your business is essential, don't let a strangers words or reacion influance your enjoyment of a game.
I have never, in my entire life, heard as many insults in a single conversation to so many different people as that one.
But people do that sort of thing, with the rise of COD there was a mass influx of squeeky teenagers callingpeople noob, or loser, or saying you suck, but thats all their opinion, they're the ones taking gaming way too seriously
Learning to shrug it off and go about your business is essential, don't let a strangers words or reacion influance your enjoyment of a game.
I'm curious what might happen if a person just straight-up said in an online chatroom that they get anxiety and they hope the others will go easy on them. I know some people are cruel online and would just twist the knife regardless, but I have to think that articulating it in that way would make many people soften their stance and try to see the person's situation more compassionately.
Lumpy Onion
Member
I feel the same way. Any time I am going to use duty finder in FF XIV I almost start to feel sick because I think back to my couple of abusive pug experiences I had in the past and hit cancel to go fish or something relaxing. The whole go go go! No mistakes allowed mentality that some people have scares me. I start to feel like I need to be perfect at all times in fear of getting yelled at, when it's probably not the reality of how the majority reacts.
I know it's just strangers over the net, but I also have anxiety issues irl so I'm not surprised I do in the game world as well. If I could just turn a switch in my mind and not care I totally would. Wish I could be like those water off a ducks back folks.
I know it's just strangers over the net, but I also have anxiety issues irl so I'm not surprised I do in the game world as well. If I could just turn a switch in my mind and not care I totally would. Wish I could be like those water off a ducks back folks.
Temporal Mess
Neo Member
I used to get this a lot. I still do have pretty bad social anxiety irl, but a couple of years of WoW raiding knocked it out of me online. I still don't talk on public channels when I don't need to, but that's for different reasons. For me, once I got into a group/guild that I liked and felt comfortable around it became a lot easier for me to talk online with others.
I know anxiety is not the same for everyone, but just going out there and doing it really helped in my case.
Doing other things to calm nerves while interacting online is helpful too, like fiddling with a small toy or even drinking a little bit. Not even enough to get buzzed or anything. Having, like, a single unit of alcohol really slows the hyperventilating for me.
I know anxiety is not the same for everyone, but just going out there and doing it really helped in my case.
Doing other things to calm nerves while interacting online is helpful too, like fiddling with a small toy or even drinking a little bit. Not even enough to get buzzed or anything. Having, like, a single unit of alcohol really slows the hyperventilating for me.
Some people are dickheads but a lot of people are friendly. Trust me man, go join a rec team and make some freinds. It would go a long way towards helping your social anxiety both in games and "IRL".
I know, but it feels even worse than FPS as it's one on one. I get worried I might be cheesing the same move too much and end up losing anyway.
It's stupid, I know.
woopWOOP
Member
I used to have that. I specifically remember during setup of a TF2 match, me being the only soldier and some guy with voicechat telling me I should take position on the farmhouse near the enemy spawn. I didn't know how to rocket jump, instead of asking how I disconnected before he finished his sentence :V
I got over it tho. If I need to ask I just ask. Turns out that 90% of the time people are actually friendly and willing to help. If they're being dicks about it, fuck 'em. If they're talking shit over voicechat I mute their asses. Easy peasy.
If it continues to be stressing tho, try playing games with people from GAF. We're a friendly bunch!
I got over it tho. If I need to ask I just ask. Turns out that 90% of the time people are actually friendly and willing to help. If they're being dicks about it, fuck 'em. If they're talking shit over voicechat I mute their asses. Easy peasy.
If it continues to be stressing tho, try playing games with people from GAF. We're a friendly bunch!
To give some examples of anxiety, I've only just recently allowed people to add me on systems I own like the Wii U for Splatoon. I only had my super close friends, now I have a couple of Gaffers and Ethan from Nintendo. It's really different and kind of exciting? I've actually been having fun online now. My mind exploded the moment I got to play Splatoon with NoA employees and I found that sometimes, the internet can be a really cool place.
I guess that is helping me open up a tad more and it's getting me new experiences.
I guess that is helping me open up a tad more and it's getting me new experiences.
Wolf Akela
Member
No one cares in TF2 unless you're the fifth Sniper or Spy.
Ah. No easy suggestion then, other than playing with friends, which as you mentioned, isn't possible 100% of the time.
One thing that could sometimes get me to just pick up the controller and play was just convincing myself I was going to play awful and to not even care. When the MAG beta was out years ago the only time I could play was after classes in college so it was one of those things I had to just suck it up and play.
Hopefully you find a way past it or to help deal with it. It's been years and I still can't do online like others, I've basically grown to just play single-player games. The last time I had an online gaming session that lasted more than an hour was some time in 2011 on BFBC2. I don't even really have huge issues around other people offline, but something about playing online freezes me up and shuts me down.
This is a requirement for me. I wouldn't even consider playing online without a headset plugged in and set aside (and I was at least courteous of others and muted the input for it so they wouldn't hear my TV).
Caffiene can also be bad. It's known to make you feel more nervous.
spons
Gold Member
Well that explains my downfall in life
Find a game that GAF is really into and get into the community. I don't talk to anyone unless I've set up a game beforehand in GAF. Destiny/Mario Kart/Diablo/Splatoon and quite a few others all have good communities. Or try some online play that isn't team based and you can just mute everyone and check that out. That's really the best advice I can give. The shitty/mean advice is spoiler-ed below if you want the harsh truth:
As for screwing up and feeling like your being judged, well you'll just have to get over that. That's self esteem/narcissistic and the sooner you realize what you do online in a game isn't being judged by everyone and most don't even care; you'll feel better. The sooner you stop caring that someone thinks you stink at a game; you'll feel better. Clearly you were even nervous about typing the post so it goes deeper than just playing games. All eyes aren't on you and if you do something dumb just move on, everyone else will have 2 seconds later. You aren't the center of everyone else's world. Sounds harsh but it's kind of a man up or just don't play online type of situation.
Miniboss1232
Member
I basically have the same issue, which is why the only online games I've played in many, many years are games like Splatoon or Mario Kart which have no real interaction with other players.
And for those of you saying: "Why do you care what other people think?" or "It's all in your head.", I leave you with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEJuKY_APIk
edit: And again, I had a hard time pressing "Submit Post" on this, double-checking to make sure everything was spelled correctly and to make sure I didn't make some hideous mistake.
And for those of you saying: "Why do you care what other people think?" or "It's all in your head.", I leave you with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEJuKY_APIk
edit: And again, I had a hard time pressing "Submit Post" on this, double-checking to make sure everything was spelled correctly and to make sure I didn't make some hideous mistake.
If I play with someone online and they do "bad," I'm just like, "Whatever." It's just a game, and there are many variables that can influence how well one plays a game at any given moment, from varying levels of interest, to other obligations, to how awake they're feeling, to how clear their mind is at the moment.
And again: It's just a game. I'd rather they enjoy the experience and continue to partake in my favorite hobby, than feel "shunned" for any reason. The more welcoming we are online, the higher player counts there will be in the future! Also, no one should feel alienated on this earth. Let's have fun together.
And again: It's just a game. I'd rather they enjoy the experience and continue to partake in my favorite hobby, than feel "shunned" for any reason. The more welcoming we are online, the higher player counts there will be in the future! Also, no one should feel alienated on this earth. Let's have fun together.
Rising_Hei
Member
Most of those are really bad players anyways. You haven't had many of those lately, but they will be back for the expansion... when ARR started it was a mess to play because of many people would rush in every situation (those Castrums), and that would get everyone killed,it chilled out slowly tho. You end up seeing how bad and meant they are once you are confident, and let me tell you something: the best tank/player in MMOs or anything is the one that isn't scared to make mistakes; he learns from them, best players =! no mistakes, but those that learn with non stop, despite getting really good and hence have infinite potential
I have your problem in MOBAs tho, a friend of mine starts to tell me off since the second 1 of the match, i get so damn anxious and from that moment i play worse than ever. MOBAs can get people be very competitive and bring the worst behaviours ever. Do you think you'd enjoy a game if you have a so called "friend" telling you "you don't know how to play" with no positive criticism? since the second 1, being totally disrespectful when she isn't usually like that; and i know there's lots of people like that, which makes playing MOBAs a fucking nightmare that you end up hating the genre a lot.
My mindset is very delicate for MOBAs, even more when i'm trying to learn (100 hours of DOTA2 isn't a lot), and playing with people that can take what happens in a game to such a personal level can increase anxiety levels a lot :/
Bingo! I never use voice chat except with buddies.
ptuck874
Member
this so bad, don't worry about stupid people have fun and enjoy yourself first and foremost, if you ever get close with people and want to talk you can always put on a party chat type thing and just talk to them ....
king grimlock
Member
I don't think I'm the center of everyone's world it's more like if your walking down the street and you see a fender bender or someone is making a scene in which you most likely would have some attention on them.
Lactose_Intolerant
Member
I just tell the bad people how to improve. Like stop defending the last flag and push forward.
There is always the one person that will tell me to fuck off even if I'm just trying to help. Some people just want to camp and turn off their brains.
Why do you care what other people think of you? Own up to your mistakes, don't do what you have been doing.
There is always the one person that will tell me to fuck off even if I'm just trying to help. Some people just want to camp and turn off their brains.
Why do you care what other people think of you? Own up to your mistakes, don't do what you have been doing.
AtomskEater
Member
I love mmos but I have a very long history of playing solo because I'm too nervous to approach other people. Almost every time I've been in a party it's because someone approached me first (and in a few rare cases I was playing with people I already knew elsewhere). Partially it's because I'm nervous about how I play but I'm naturally a pretty shy person.
Still manage to have a lot of fun until I hit a brick wall in terms of solo-able content, though.
Still manage to have a lot of fun until I hit a brick wall in terms of solo-able content, though.
ArkhamFantasy
Member
Remember my first 80 man raid in everquest. I was terrified that I would do something to wipe the raid. It goes away though.
Advice is fine, but never hurts to frame it nicely.
Like instead of: "Hey, stop camping the base!"
Say: "Hey, I appreciate you keeping the base safe, but I could really use your help on the front lines. Could you please come with me on the next round?"
Or something like that. It's all in the tone!
Velcro Fly
Member
I never raided in WoW because I was afraid of messing up and having shitty people yelling at me.
I never did arena in WoW for much the same reason.
I had a good guild and a lot of good friends and I still hesitated to ever ask for anything because I didn't want to be a bother.
I never did arena in WoW for much the same reason.
I had a good guild and a lot of good friends and I still hesitated to ever ask for anything because I didn't want to be a bother.
king grimlock
Member
Oh I try to do this most days I sort of "refresh" my anxiety page and go into a game saying IDGAF but eventually it grows and consumes my thoughts and thank you for all your suggestions.
I have this problem (social anxiety) too. If a single-player game has a multiplayer mode, I pretty much won't touch that portion. I'll stick to the campaign instead. And yet I do play a couple of MMOs.
In one of them (Star Trek Online) though, you are given four AI teammates and none of the story content requires grouping up, so I've never bothered using the party-finder or getting into a guild. The game basically becomes a single-player game with background detail controlled by other players.
In another, Final Fantasy XIV, group content is a mandatory part of the story/level progression, and I actually think that has helped me because I can't avoid it if I want to progress. Even so, I mostly keep to myself, but I am part of the GAF guild and help members out now and then. Honestly, if the guild didn't exist/I wasn't on NeoGAF I probably would probably go guild-less in FFXIV too. I started as a tank but soon switched to DPS classes because I couldn't handle the pressure, and even now I hold off doing party content (both simple dungeons and large raids) because I'm afraid I'll mess up, fail to dodge AoE and/or die a lot.
In one of them (Star Trek Online) though, you are given four AI teammates and none of the story content requires grouping up, so I've never bothered using the party-finder or getting into a guild. The game basically becomes a single-player game with background detail controlled by other players.
In another, Final Fantasy XIV, group content is a mandatory part of the story/level progression, and I actually think that has helped me because I can't avoid it if I want to progress. Even so, I mostly keep to myself, but I am part of the GAF guild and help members out now and then. Honestly, if the guild didn't exist/I wasn't on NeoGAF I probably would probably go guild-less in FFXIV too. I started as a tank but soon switched to DPS classes because I couldn't handle the pressure, and even now I hold off doing party content (both simple dungeons and large raids) because I'm afraid I'll mess up, fail to dodge AoE and/or die a lot.
BiGBoSSMk23
A company being excited for their new game is a huge slap in the face to all the fans that liked their old games.
Yep.
That's the fucked up part about mental health issues, especially the "milder" like anxiety disorders.
They're so abstracted and specific to each person that unless you too suffer from it or have a superhuman degree of empathy you can't understand.
I've spent time and energy trying to explain this to people close to me but I find it only worsens things, especially those who are the close minded type.
Just accept how and what you are. Broken and ridiculous.
You'll always perceive things differently and it'll have its benefits just like it has disadvantages. Just never let it get you down so much that it discourages you from trying.
There's no rule book on "how to be", OP.
I deal with this to some extent, but not quite to your extreme. One thing I like to do, on systems that allow it, is change my name every so often. I've done this a ton over the years on Steam (where giving myself a fun or silly name also took some of the edge off when I was playing horribly) and more recently with Wii U games, since they go by your Mii name. Something about just doing that always made me relax and have more fun as opposed to stressing out.
FFXIV's duty finder was a pleasant surprise for me. I honestly didn't run into a lot of assholes until I started farming the CT raids, and the ones I did run into I could easily laugh at. Even better, Party Finder makes it easy to get together 'for fun' groups for harder content.
FFXIV's duty finder was a pleasant surprise for me. I honestly didn't run into a lot of assholes until I started farming the CT raids, and the ones I did run into I could easily laugh at. Even better, Party Finder makes it easy to get together 'for fun' groups for harder content.
Warablo
Member
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Lucky you =(
TheSadRanger
Banned
This only really affected me on Starcraft 2, I would want to play some MP but always get anxious cause the game demands so much damn attention. There's just so much crap you have to pay attention to.
After a MP session for a few hours I would end up exhausted which would deter me from playing it again. I actually played quite a bit in platinum during SC2 vanilla but skipped the MP in HoS completely.
I kind of get the same way with hearthstone cause I'm afraid of wasting an hour on a 4 game losing streak due to RNG.
After a MP session for a few hours I would end up exhausted which would deter me from playing it again. I actually played quite a bit in platinum during SC2 vanilla but skipped the MP in HoS completely.
I kind of get the same way with hearthstone cause I'm afraid of wasting an hour on a 4 game losing streak due to RNG.
CommandThrower
Member
I almost never use voice chat in online games due to a speech impediment that I have.
Sometimes I'll leave voice chat unmuted, but most times I just mute.
Sometimes I'll leave voice chat unmuted, but most times I just mute.
pinkurocket
Member
I play TF2 because being a silly goose is all part of the fun. I accidentally kill myself all the time, I get lost on maps I don't know that well (and sometimes maps I've played 100s of times), but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. You can do all kinds of silly things in the game, start congaing, throw a thumbs up or literally laugh at yourself via a taunt. Or ask for a high five and suicide when the hands meet. Of course I still play the game seriously, but if I fuck up I accept it and through time and effort I get better and become able to hold my own in a match.
Try and look for community servers, usually they have players that often play on that specific server and they'll be friendly to you. You can expect a very decent game, as often these players have lots of hours put into the game, but they won't scream at you for holding the team back. It's all in good fun. Well, it depends. But some servers are really fun and the community is what keeps me coming back to TF2 every time. It's just an enjoyable time, and solid gameplay. Even with all the bugs in the game .-.
There are toxic servers and the valve servers often have *ahem* younger players throwing insults around and calling out noobs. That's just the thing in online games, especially a F2P one, but yea. Find a good serb.
Try and look for community servers, usually they have players that often play on that specific server and they'll be friendly to you. You can expect a very decent game, as often these players have lots of hours put into the game, but they won't scream at you for holding the team back. It's all in good fun. Well, it depends. But some servers are really fun and the community is what keeps me coming back to TF2 every time. It's just an enjoyable time, and solid gameplay. Even with all the bugs in the game .-.
There are toxic servers and the valve servers often have *ahem* younger players throwing insults around and calling out noobs. That's just the thing in online games, especially a F2P one, but yea. Find a good serb.