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Sometimes guy friends can be really annoying

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So you're looking to just the hang out and party with your dudes right?

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Send this around, I'm sure they'll see what they're missing.
 
JK-Money said:
the guy who is like a brother planned the bachelor party, the person getting marrried I havent seen in 5 years
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Do you know anybody else who might go to this thing? Or is it basically "i only know one guy" type of situation? If the latter you can make an excuse to not go. If you're close friends with others then it's a bit shitty.
 
Icewear Vezzo said:
Seems like you're friend really wants you to go.

Sometimes if you want your friends to remain your friends you have to make sacrifices.
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Pretty much. I also hate bars and strip clubs but any time a special occasion comes up I go because it makes my friends happy. Even if I don't like it.

It's lame of him to pull out the "Whipped" card and all that other dumb shit, but it's also pretty lame of you to not go spend an important night with your buddy because it's not something you enjoy doing. That night isn't about you.

And seven and a half years isn't an anniversary. Anniversaries by definition are yearly. Your monthly date night shouldn't come before your buddy's (Hopefully) one and only bachelor party.

Actually now that I saw that you haven't seen this guy in like five years, it's a bit more of a grey area. Do you guys still talk or keep in touch? Because if he hasn't bothered to keep in touch with you for five years you shouldn't be obligated to go to a party for him.
 
xxracerxx said:
What the hell do you think you do at bars?

You're buddy who is like a brother is getting married and wants to have a party with you guys beforehand, go with him for awhile then just skip out on the stripclub part at the end.

Also, being a teacher is really not an excuse.

edit: Are you sure he doesn't know that it is happening? I bet he just doesn't know what is going on.
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I texted him and asked him if he has any plans etc he said no and he doesn really want to do anything anyways, they didnt even have a social for their engagement
 
I don't like them either but I go when my friends have bachelor parties. It's definitely outside of my comfort zone, so I just don't pay for dances. I drink and stay a couple of hours then leave. Do it to support your friend and leave after an hour or two. No big deal if your gf is okay with it.
 
Let's wait until you're the single one and want to hang out and your friends are in relationships. You might not like strip clubs or bars, but your friend does. You like your friend, don't you?

Even when I'm in a serious relationship I hang out with my friends 1-2 per week, whatever they want to do. If my gf gets jealous we're going out to bars then I remind her that our relationship is built on trust and if she can't trust me then bye. I lost good friends by ignoring them when I was in a relationship. Won't do that again.

Also I can't stand "friends" who are always wanting to hang out all the time but when they get a gf you never hear from them again. Then when they suddenly break up? They're mad you won't hang.
 
Admiral Woofington said:
Do you know anybody else who might go to this thing? Or is it basically "i only know one guy" type of situation? If the latter you can make an excuse to not go. If you're close friends with others then it's a bit shitty.
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from the list I was told I only know the groom who I havent seen in 5 years and my close friend who is planning it
 
Strip clubs ain't shit, but sometimes you should just go with the flow. I'm gay and all my best friends are married. Each one of them did the whole strip club thing for their bachelor parties (we live in Vegas so there are a number of "good" ones), and every time they bought me lap dances and thought it was hilarious. Do I want some stripper's titties in my face? Hell fucking no, but I still went to have a good time and celebrate with them. Get over it.
 
pretty much a friend who invite you to a strip club is bad as someone inviting you to some kind of drug

know more about Islam ^^
 
JK-Money said:
Ever since I turned 18 places like bars, strip clubs all of those things never really striked me as interesting or fun, to be honest they sound down right boring. I am the type of guy who likes to get friends together go out to a nice restaurant outside on a balcony and just chat and catch up and enjoy each others company etc.
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but it's my 7 and a half year anniversary with my gf. Yes we do month-anniversaries call me corny if you like, however what I find is we are both teachers and busy as fuck, we do stuff normally but the reason why I like the every month thing because its that one time where we get dressed up nice and I take her out to a fancy restaurant and pamper her the way she deserves to be with gifts food love etc, he doesnt see it and still says I am whipped. Plus being a teacher I wouldnt want to be caught dead at one of those places let alone my employer, faculty member or even parent of one of my students see me. As a teacher I realise we are under fine microscopes and I wouldnt want to be anywhere that may tarnish my image regardless.

Sorry gaf I just needed to vent, call me a pussy if you'd like lol
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Im going to address this in points, because this is hard for me to understand your side:

- This is your FRIENDS bachelor party, not yours. It is what he wants to do, if he wants to go to a strip club, you go to a strip club, because this is not about YOU

- Yes you can not go if you don't want to, that's everybody's right. But if you can't make time to go, because of a 7.5 month anniversary (WTF???) Then i dont know what to tell you. I feel like this is something you tell younger couples, VALUE your friends. Yes your SO's matter, but you have to make time for friends. MAKE time, not just at your convenience, but MAKE time, if you want to keep those friends. It shows you value them, above your own self-interests

- Going to a strip club is not a fire-able offense. Pics of you going crazy at said strip club posted on social media? Possibly. Don't do anything stupid but going is not against any rules. Lame excuse.

- You do sound kind of whipped, if you go out to a nice dinner every month and buy her gifts and presents, etc, etc, yadda yadda. Every month? To me that takes away special times or actual special dinners. You can skip the 7.5 anniversary dinner for gods sake. To a guy, yes you DO sound whipped. But maybe you like being whipped and thats your prerogative. If you do and put your G/F first over friends in basically every instance, then yes that is 'guy' speak for whipped
 
JK-Money said:
from the list I was told I only know the groom who I havent seen in 5 years and my close friend who is planning it
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Aight. From the information we have you might be a bit like me. You're an introvert when it comes to specific situations. In this situation you have one close friend who doesn't know how to deal with you and instead opts for the dudebro personality, another acquaintance who is getting married and a bunch of friends of both of these guys you don't know.

If you aren't an easy to talk to guy I'd suggest not going. This is a situation where these guys all know each other. And the two you know won't hang around you the whole time if you go.

I'd just tell your friend straight up that you aren't interested and give him all of the reasons and near the end of the list just tell him "look man a final reason is that I have little incentive to go. It's not a close friend, it's a bunch of strangers to me, and I simply don't have the energy to go somewhere I find boring and also worry about first impressions"
 
Amir0x said:
this is not about you, it's about your friend.

If you cannot on one single day support your good friend doing something as harmless as having a stripper bachelor party, then it says you are not really someone who cares very much about your friend.

This is his time, his special day. If you don't attend and you otherwise could have, it's really messed up and he has a right to be angry. If it is policy that you can't attend a strip club as a teacher, that's a different story.
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I don't know man. I don't expect friends to do shit they feel uncomfortable doing. I have a pretty good friend I grew up with, and he's just a strip club guy. Even if we meet up for dinner he wants to go to a strip club. He's still my friend, but this is just an area we part ways. Strip clubs, Hooters, they aren't some great evil, but some people just have an aversion to it. It's creepy and strange to me. I would probably do it if they made a big deal about it, but I would attempt to say hey can I do the non stripper part of the celebration?
 
kronose said:
Im going to address this in points, because this is hard for me to understand your side:

- This is your FRIENDS bachelor party, not yours. It is what he wants to do, if he wants to go to a strip club, you go to a strip club, because this is not about YOU

- Yes you can not go if you don't want to, that's everybody's right. But if you can't make time to go, because of a 7.5 month anniversary (WTF???) Then i dont know what to tell you. I feel like this is something you tell younger couples, VALUE your friends. Yes your SO's matter, but you have to make time for friends. MAKE time, not just at your convenience, but MAKE time, if you want to keep those friends. It shows you value them, above your own self-interests

- Going to a strip club is not a fire-able offense. Pics of you going crazy at said strip club posted on social media? Possibly. Don't do anything stupid but going is not against any rules. Lame excuse.

- You do sound kind of whipped, if you go out to a nice dinner every month and buy her gifts and presents, etc, etc, yadda yadda. Every month? To me that takes away special times or actual special dinners. You can skip the 7.5 anniversary dinner for gods sake. To a guy, yes you DO sound whipped. But maybe you like being whipped and thats your prerogative. If you do and put your G/F first over friends in basically every instance, then yes that is 'guy' speak for whipped
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the guy has no idea it is happening I dont even kow what his reaction will be to it frankly
 
SiegePhalt said:
Sounds like you're trying to make excuses and you are using your girlfriend (and the apparent reaction of the person who is not aware) as a scapegoat.
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note the part where I have never went to those places to begin with as an adult while single
 
If this guy is your friend you should want to be there for him. You sound kind of hung up on what you want and like. So maybe this guy isn't really a friend? if so, not sure why you would care.
 
You don't need to feel peer-pressured into going to a strip club if that makes you uncomfortable, and your friends should be understanding of that and respect that. It is not cool if they try to emotionally manipulate you into going ("it's not about you" "what kind of friend are you" etc).
 
Go. Dont miss this. If you still consider youself a friend, you'll do something a smidge out of your comfort zone. If you arent that good of friends then dont go.
 
Llyranor said:
You don't need to feel peer-pressured into going to a strip club if that makes you uncomfortable, and your friends should be understanding of that and respect that. It is not cool if they try to emotionally manipulate you into going ("it's not about you" "what kind of friend are you" etc).
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you should have heard the bs coming from them because i choose not to drink either
 
SiegePhalt said:
Have you ever been though? I never wanted to go and do certain things but once I actually bothered to see and experience it for myself, it was far from what my original thoughts were.

If it's anything to do with your job, well that is a different story but still, nothing should come of it since you are entitled to enjoy your personal life.
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you dont read the news much about teachers "personal live: do you?
 
Just go, jesus christ. Is that pointless tradition of never stepping into a stripclub really that important to you? No one gives a shit if you go to one, but it'll probably mean the world to your friend. Specially since you're such a bummer when it comes to these things usually. He'll know you put aside what you want for a night and he'll most likely remember it. To be perfectly blunt, you sound like a bad friend. All you could think about was what you want in your opening post and what makes you comfortable. Have none of your friends ever sacrificed anything for you at all?

be a good mate and support your friend. It's one evening. It's not like the strippers are gonna harass you.
 
Frankly it sounds like you have severe differences in outlook from this friend who pressures you into things. Maybe you're better off distancing from that guy and finding new friends who are into your same scene.
 
I think he's being a dick by guilt-tripping you but it *is* a friend's bachelor party. I wouldn't enjoy the environment personally but I'd still go because it's an important event.

Edit: Ah, so the dude isn't a close friend. That makes it a bit more nebulous.
 
Pop On Arrival said:
Just go, jesus christ. Is that pointless tradition of never stepping into a stripclub really that important to you? No one gives a shit if you go to one, but it'll probably mean the world to your friend. Specially since you're such a bummer when it comes to these things usually. He'll know you put aside what you want for a night and he'll most likely remember it. To be perfectly blunt, you sound like a bad friend. All you could think about was what you want in your opening post and what makes you comfortable. Have none of your friends ever sacrificed anything for you at all?

be a good mate and support your friend. It's one evening. It's not like the strippers are gonna harass you.
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not really we are talking about the same guy that tried to peer pressure me into drinking, once got drunk tried to shove a drink in my face, and tried to beat me up because not drinking offended him when he was wasted
 
It's your friend's bachelor party. Oh no I have to socialize in a loud and naked environment. Just go. Would you feel upset if people didn't go to your birthday? Chances are yes.

Edit: sounds like this isn't about the bachelor party and you just want people to tell you have shitty friends and to get rid of them.
 
JK-Money said:
you dont read the news much about teachers "personal live: do you?
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Ehh...I have gone to plenty of seedy places with teachers before. You bring up a parent seeing you there and going to the school board and labeling you a pervert....well what are they doing there, pervert watching?

Now, do you also think that if a parent sees you in a bar you will get into trouble?

edit: Also, what is this social for engagement you were talking about.
 
This is why I don't have any friends.

It's much easier that way. I can stay home and not have anybody pestering me to do things I don't want to do.

I'm joking.
Or am I?
 
Just think of a strip club like any bar, only the drinks are more expensive and you might need to pay to get in. So go to a normal bar first, then go to the strip club. Drink some alcohol and look at some strippers. Don't even think of them as strippers. They're just dancing girls. Don't even think of them as girls, they're dancing people. Evolved apes. Don't overthink this just go to the strip club everything will be ok.
 
JK-Money said:
not really we are talking about the same guy that tried to peer pressure me into drinking, once got drunk tried to shove a drink in my face, and tried to beat me up because not drinking offended him when he was wasted
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You need better friends.
 
CPS2 said:
Just think of a strip club like any bar, only the drinks are more expensive and you might need to pay to get in. So go to a normal bar first, then go to the strip club. Drink some alcohol and look at some strippers. Don't even think of them as strippers. They're just dancing girls. Don't even think of them as girls, they're dancing people. Evolved apes. Don't overthink this just go to the strip club everything will be ok.
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I also dislike bars and dont drink
 
JK-Money said:
Plus being a teacher I wouldnt want to be caught dead at one of those places let alone my employer, faculty member or even parent of one of my students see me. As a teacher I realise we are under fine microscopes and I wouldnt want to be anywhere that may tarnish my image regardless.
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This doesnt make any sense.

Your Boss: Im gonna fire you for going to a strip club.

You: How did you know I went to one?

Your Boss: I was there too!
 
xxracerxx said:
But you said you like sitting around on restaurant porches and just shooting the shit, that is basically all bars are.
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seriously

if you can't muster up the resolve to show up for an hour or two at least and then leave, i don't blame your friend. unless your girlfriend won't let you go, having monthly anniversaries after 7.5 years means that's possible. i can't imagine how exhausting that would be god damn
 
JK-Money said:
you dont read the news much about teachers "personal live: do you?
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My buddy, who is a teacher, goes once a year in Vegas. Just don't take any pictures and put them on social media.

Look, friends sometimes do things they don't want to, however they do it anyway by supporting them. Support your friend. These things only happen every so often. And it's his only bachelor party... Hopefully.
 
Oh, Lord.

You don't have to drink. You don't have to get a lap dance or any dumb shit like that. But it's your friends bachelor party and you should go to support him regardless of where it is. You'll have a good time and wonder why you made such a fuss about it. Lighten up and live a little.
 
Amir0x said:
this is not about you, it's about your friend.

If you cannot on one single day support your good friend doing something as harmless as having a stripper bachelor party, then it says you are not really someone who cares very much about your friend.

This is his time, his special day. If you don't attend and you otherwise could have, it's really messed up and he has a right to be angry. If it is policy that you can't attend a strip club as a teacher, that's a different story.
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This about sums it up. I get you dont like it or aren't interested but this is like a one time thing. Make the sacrifice and do it for your friend. It's not like he's asking to go every other week or something. Im sure your girlfriend will be fine missing one monthly anniversary.
 
Freshmaker said:
Is it bad that I'm mainly getting hung up on the 7 and a half year anniversary?

Such a bizarre milestone.
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I am still confused if he celebrates monthly or just every half year. Like are they going to celebrate the big 7 • 7 next month?
 
The only point in your favor about not wanting to go is the argument that your teacher reputation might be harmed, and even then it's not a dealbreaker. Your district might be a super conservative hellhole, but the likelyhood that going there results in anything terrible happening to your job seems slim. When in doubt, consult a higher-up you can trust ("Hi boss, my really good friend is having a bachelor party at a strip club, and I'm worried about any negative implications that might occur if I'm recognized by someone there").

With that aside...let's take a look at your other reasons.

"I just don't like going to those places"

So fucking what? It's your good friend's party. At least do him a favor and try to enjoy the night with him. Sometimes we do things that we normally wouldn't do on our own because the people we love want to do those things, and we want to be there to support those friends. It's not like going this one time will set a precedent and you'll have to go with them all the time now.

If you haven't tried something, at least try it once. It broadens your life experience and puts you in a position to overcome being out of your comfort zone. It teaches you how to deal with uncomfortable situations.


"It's our 7.5 year anniversary". You can celebrate that the next week, or the week after. Your friend's party is a one time event. It can't be rescheduled. Your date can.
 
Are you in America? It's summer break, why are you grading exams at the end of June?

Just go to the fucking bachelor party, go out to dinner, then some bars. and then sit in the strip club for an hour and get a Sprite and bullshit with your friends. It's not a goddamn sex dungeon, strip clubs are just bars with naked girls walking around who you can pay to dance on your lap. If it's not your thing to have a naked girl dance on your lap, guess what? Nobody cares. It's your boys bachelor party so you go with the flow on his big night.

The teacher excuse is a cop-out, as is the "7 1/2 month anniversary". I don't even understand the "1/2" part of the monthly anniversary, are you having an anniversary every 2 weeks? Christ I can barely figure out what to get my wife on a YEARLY basis...
 
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