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Sometimes guy friends can be really annoying

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You arent taking any advice from this thread. Why make the thread if you know what youre going to do?

The teacher thing is horseshit. You just want people to agree with you. This is pointless.
 
OP, its quite obvious you have no intention of going. I never understand why people make threads like this if they're not interested in hearing other's advice.

That being said, I will proceed to give you advice.

Obviously no one can force you to go if you truly don't want to. And yes, it is ultimately your decision to not go, and if this isn't really a close friend of yours then you're not really in any obligation to go. In this exact instance, I think it's fine to skip out on the party. 7 1/2 year anniversary is an almost insulting excuse to use though, at least make an effort and make something up.

But now I ask, because this is most likely going to come up - will you skip your "almost brother's" bachelor party? Because it's quite obvious he seems like the type of guy that enjoys a strip club (if only during bachelor parties). What will you do when that situation comes up?
 
I've gone to restaurants I didn't like, I've paid to watch movies I had no interest in seeing and I've been to dragged to parties that I didn't want to go to. I've dragged friends to places they didn't want to go too. My friends and I don't share a hive mind. We have different tastes and different interests, but we still like spending time with each other and will sometimes step outside of our comfort zones. Friendship is just like any other relationship in that it's sometimes necessary to compromise.

It sounds like your friend's bachelor party is important to him and you're making a choice not to be a part of it.

If I had a "friend" who decided not to take place in a major life event because he had to celebrate his 7.5 year anniversary (wtf?), I'd take it as a sign that he didn't really want to spend time with me at all. That sounds like a lame excuse on the level of "I'm washing my hair that night."
 
I understand you! Strip clubs are lame, for a bachelor party you are supposed to BRING the strippers to the house.

And fill the bathtub with whiskey
 
Coolio McAwesome said:
I've gone to restaurants I didn't like, I've paid to watch movies I had no interest in seeing and I've been to dragged to parties that I didn't want to go to. I've dragged friends to places they didn't want to go too. My friends and I don't share a hive mind. We have different tastes and different interests, but we still like spending time with each other and will sometimes step outside of our comfort zones. Friendship is just like any other relationship in that it's sometimes necessary to compromise.

It sounds like your friend's bachelor party is important to him and you're making a choice not to be a part of it.

If I had a "friend" who decided not to take place in a major life event because he had to celebrate his 7.5 year anniversary (wtf?), I'd take it as a sign that he didn't really want to spend time with me at all. That sounds like a lame excuse on the level of "I'm washing my hair that night."
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Well said.

OP, if this "guy friend" is really a good friend of yours, you should just go even if it's not "your thing". Your excuse is super lame, seriously 7.5 month anniversary and skipping out on a good friends bachelor party?
 
I could understand if you had some sort of moral objection to strip clubs or found them gross or something. But you find them boring? That's why you can't celebrate with your friends? Cause it would bore you?? Idk sounds pretty lame man.
 
Why don't you just go and stop by for an hour or less? That's all people want; for you to make the effort to show up and catch up for a bit. You don't have to stay the whole time and watch strippers if that makes you uncomfortable.

Do that, and then tell your friend in return for going he has to stop acting like a child, because calling someone "whipped" is some high school bullshit.
 
Honestly, just go.

Friendship is about compromise. Sometimes we do things for others even if we're not interested so we can make our friends happy.

Honestly, the teacher excuse is kinda lame. It's not like pictures will be taken there. If you get seen that person is also at a strip club...
 
So you are scared of strip clubs because you prefer balcony dinners with your bro's instead of grabbing a few pints at the pub, which you stopped doing when you turned 18? Did you start dating your gf when you turned 18? 7.5 month anniversary? How is that special. Routine activities are boring. Listen, I get it. You don't know many of the dudes, you are scared of 'strange' places, and you are concerned about your job...

"Fear is the mind killer"

Live a little, take life by the balls.
 
I didn't go to the strip club when my friend got married. It really isn't that big of a deal. Is that all that they're doing for the party? Is there a dinner or some drinking that you can be a part of instead and just skip the club?

For me, outside of having zero interest in going to a strip club and knowing full well that my lack of interest would detract from the experience, I had also spent the day doing paintball and going out for dinner--Which I had to pay for. This was also shortly after we'd all graduated too so it's not like any of us had great jobs on top of debts to be concerned about.

Your friend is getting married so you should try and be apart of something. On the other hand, I find it a little troublesome that the expectation is you have to dump a whole lot of money on the event regardless of your circumstances. Anyway, that's a personal rant.
 
OP it sounds like you're being selfish by not wanting to go because it will bore you. Like others said just go for a hour, buy your friend a $10 table dance or a shot from one of the drank girls and leave.

I don't like strip clubs for the same reasons I don't like bars and that's all the smoking, but if you can't suffer for 1 hour for a friend then you don't sound like much of a friend.
 
onipex said:
I don't like strip clubs for the same reasons I don't like bars and that's all the smoking, but if you can't suffer for 1 hour for a friend then you don't sound like much of a friend.
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Weird...I can't remember the last time, outside of Vegas, I have been in a bar/stripclub that allows smoking.
 
Have no idea why OP even made this topic as he seems pretty hellbent on not going. Even making up lame excuses, 7.5 anniversary? Is that a special number of days?

Anyways one of the things with friends is that eventually we will drift apart, but when we do briefly hang out together one of the best things to do is remember the history we had together and tell bs stories for a laugh.

It sounds like you are already at the point where you want to cut ties with these "friends" of yours so start by not going to the bachelor party. At most you will just be a footnote when one of them asks where you are and why you are a bitch for not coming, then they will move on with the lives.
 
Amir0x said:
this is not about you, it's about your friend.

If you cannot on one single day support your good friend doing something as harmless as having a stripper bachelor party, then it says you are not really someone who cares very much about your friend.

This is his time, his special day. If you don't attend and you otherwise could have, it's really messed up and he has a right to be angry. If it is policy that you can't attend a strip club as a teacher, that's a different story.
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Bingo

This is an important day for him. If you are a good friend you would go to make sure that he has a good time. If you don't go, your friendship will certainly take a hit because your friends will rightly think that you don't care enough about them to make a sacrifice and be there for them on a very important day in his life.
 
PS. My bachelor party is a 1/2 week long beach house rental in August. Out of 14 invites, 2 can't make it. And there excuses were better than a 1/2 month anniversary. For example, "the flight from Stuttgart is going to be hella expensive"... Which is understandable.
 
JK-Money said:
Sorry gaf it is late and I just feel the need to vent, much like the title says guy friends can be annoying as fuck. A highschool friend of mine is getting married (happy for him), so my other friend which I would consider a brother because we are close is throwing him a bachelor party, they want to go to strip clubs etc. Here is the thing I do not want to go. Call it some weird tradition all you want but I just dont have the desire to go and told my friend who is planning it this. Immediately after I texted him I didnt want to he has been calling my phone and leaving me voice mail messages telling me I am "whipped" trying to antagonise me to go that sort of thing. I laid it down to him and told him this is me,. Ever since I turned 18 places like bars, strip clubs all of those things never really striked me as interesting or fun, to be honest they sound down right boring. I am the type of guy who likes to get friends together go out to a nice restaurant outside on a balcony and just chat and catch up and enjoy each others company etc.

So i told him I did not want to go and he is harassing me saying it's because my gf wouldnt want me to go all that stuff, but when i told him I personally do not want to go he shrugs it off and says I am lying, but then i pointed out "how many times have I been out with you to those places in the past even before I met my gf", he couldn't come up with any. Plus i also proceeded to tell him i have had other plans on that day for the last month anyways, this part you guys may call me corny and what not but it's my 7 and a half year anniversary with my gf. Yes we do month-anniversaries call me corny if you like, however what I find is we are both teachers and busy as fuck, we do stuff normally but the reason why I like the every month thing because its that one time where we get dressed up nice and I take her out to a fancy restaurant and pamper her the way she deserves to be with gifts food love etc, he doesnt see it and still says I am whipped. Plus being a teacher I wouldnt want to be caught dead at one of those places let alone my employer, faculty member or even parent of one of my students see me. As a teacher I realise we are under fine microscopes and I wouldnt want to be anywhere that may tarnish my image regardless.

Sorry gaf I just needed to vent, call me a pussy if you'd like lol
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Erm... Just go. Its one night. Im not into strip clubs either but you can just go and not get a dance.

Your there for your friend, stop thinking of just your self.

Edit.
Just saw its for a dude you havnt seen in 5 years. Not sure why your friend is so obsessed with you going.

In that case i would show up for a few drinks then make my excusses. Unless the whole thing is at a strip club, in which case i wouldnt bother if i had legitimate career concerns.
 
If you don't go because you want to celebrate a half of a year (lol wut) anniversary then yeah you're a shitty friend.

Sounds like he's a close friend, if I was the dude and you didn't go if be bombing you outta my life for not giving me the time of day to celebrate with me and our pals.

Also, obligatory "OP you're pussy
whipped
 
OP it sounds to me like you know you're being a jerk about not going and are trying to find justifications for your jerky attitude. If the guy is your friend, then go to the party, it's for him not for you. Especially if you're going to his wedding.

JK-Money said:
I am the type of guy who likes to get friends together go out to a nice restaurant outside on a balcony and just chat and catch up and enjoy each others company etc.
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I take it you don't go to bars and have never been to a bachelor party, but that is exactly what a bachelor party is but in multiple venues. Go to a restaurant, chat and enjoy each others company while you eat. Head to a bar, chat and enjoy each others company while you drink. Go to strip club, chat and enjoy each others company while looking at boobs.

Unless all your friends are raging drunks, the whole point of the bachelor party is to hang out and enjoy each others company.
 
If you can't even be there for your friend at some of the most important points in his life, why call yourself his friend?

And 7 and a half anniversary? WTF kind of excuse is that? 5, 10, 15, or even 7. But 7 and a half?
 
JK-Money said:
I also dislike bars and dont drink
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As someone who doesn't drink either, hanging out with (usually male) friends at a bar or whatever suuucks.

You'd think after one or two times they'd get tired of making fun of you for not drinking or trying to pressure you into it. but nope.


Honestly, I always feel uncomfortable about social pressure stuff like this. Usually it's a sign that if you do go the same friends will use the exact same pressure tactics to have you participate in more stuff on the spot.
 
Just be firm and tell them no. That you have certain boundaries and that going to strip clubs is not one of them.
 
Eh, I probably wouldn't go either. Strip Clubs are weird. And by all accounts your "brother" sounds like enough of a giant tit as it is, rendering the strippers redundant ;D

Seriously though, I get what you mean about "guy friends". Too much alpha and testosterone gets on my nerves.
 
pbsapeer said:
Boom. Correct answer
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No, you have it backwards. Not going to this bachelor party for various stupid reasons makes the op the asshole. If he's really this guys friend he'll suck it up and go, if he's not he won't. Some times you have to do things you don't want to do for people you care about.
 
You don't have to go to the bachelor party, OP. But monthaversies? Really? You're about 7.5 years into a relationship. That's not an excuse to miss anything at all.
 
Rafterman said:
No, you have it backwards. Not going to this bachelor party for various stupid reasons makes the op the asshole. If he's really this guys friend he'll suck it up and go, if he's not he won't. Some times you have to do things you don't want to do for people you care about.
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In contrast to respecting a person's boundaries when they're clearly unwilling/not interested in something. That's not a fundamental part of friendship at all.
 
If a good friend wanted me to go somewhere I didnt want to go, but it was important to him, I would likely go.
Obviously, if I was asked to go to a strip club and was able to, I'd be there in a flash.
 
Rafterman said:
No, you have it backwards. Not going to this bachelor party for various stupid reasons makes the op the asshole. If he's really this guys friend he'll suck it up and go, if he's not he won't. Some times you have to do things you don't want to do for people you care about.
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No, the asshole is the person disrespecting another person's sense of boundary by forcing them to do something which clearly violates it. If that person is really a friend, he or she will suck it up and be cool with the friend not being there because boundaries.
 
corn_fest said:
Yeah, it sucks when your friends try to guilt-trip you into doing things outside your comfort zone. The whole being a teacher thing seems like a pretty good excuse. I'd just focus on that angle, emphasizing that you can't go because you don't want to threaten your professional image.
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Exactly.

I don't care for the strip club but my friends do things that aren't their ideal time so I do the same.
 
Neoriceisgood said:
In contrast to respecting a person's boundaries when they're clearly unwilling/not interested in something. That's not a fundamental part of friendship at all.
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A fundamental part of friendship is being their for your friends during the big moments in their lives. Blowing of this party because"strippers are icky" or because a ridiculous half anniversary shows you aren't much of a friend.

I dunno, maybe it's a generational thing and everything has to be about you first, but like I said friends require sometimes putting other people above oneself and a once in a lifetime party for a friend getting married is one of those times.

And besides even if it weren't a strip club the Op wasn't going to go anyway, remember he has "plans" on that day. Definition of an asshole, and everything else he called himself in the Op. He better hope that relationship lasts because his friendships certainly won't the way he is acting.
 
Rafterman said:
A fundamental part of friendship is being their for your friends during the big moments in their lives. Blowing of this party because"strippers are icky" or because a ridiculous half anniversary shows you aren't much of a friend.

I dunno, maybe it's a generational thing and everything has to be about you first, but like I said friends require sometimes putting other people above oneself and a once in a lifetime party for a friend getting married is one of those times.

And besides even if it weren't a strip club the Op wasn't going to go anyway, remember he has "plans" on that day. Definition of an asshole, and everything else he called himself in the Op. He better hope that relationship lasts because his friendships certainly won't the way he is acting.
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A bigger fundamental part of friendship is not forcing friends to do what they don't want to do. If someone tried to guilt me into doing something that made me feel uncomfortable I wouldn't consider them a great friend. However OPs excuse is pathetic. He just needs to tell his friend "I'm not going to go see strippers. I could get fired because I'm a teacher" which is a lot more reasonable than a month-versary.
 
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