Skellig Gra
Member
Super Bowl
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Sports match or wedding?
- Thread starter TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
- Start date
Marty Chinn
Member
This is supposedly an image from one of the games so it looks like it's somewhat of a big deal:
How is that a hard choice? The world cup is scheduled once every four years, with the time and date for the final penciled in months in advance.
TELL THE KID TO HOLD UP FOR A FEW HOURS!
KojiKnight
Member
I've been married nearly a decade... our wedding was tiny, and we wanted it even smaller but her family was assholes and essentially held us hostage unless we held an actual gathering (and even then they were late because of course they fucking were). So I don't have a high esteem of weddings in general. It's $50,000 that could go into a house versus something that lasts a day and then doesn't benefit at all.
I again view it as such... These are likely both once in a lifetime events, and there are a lot more people involved on the team than there the two getting married. It sucks, it's awful, but it is what it is. I wouldn't deny my friends their chance at a dream simply so they can fill some seats at my wedding.
I again view it as such... These are likely both once in a lifetime events, and there are a lot more people involved on the team than there the two getting married. It sucks, it's awful, but it is what it is. I wouldn't deny my friends their chance at a dream simply so they can fill some seats at my wedding.
TurboButts
Member
This is supposedly an image from one of the games so it looks like it's somewhat of a big deal:
mmmmmm yeah you can't miss that game. If I was inviting the whole new england patriots roster to my wedding i'd probably avoid august thru february
Calm Killer
In all media, only true fans who consume every book, film, game, or pog collection deserve to know what's going on.
You do not schedule a wedding during football season. So Sept - Jan is a no go. I told my wife this and I won't attend a wedding if it is during a WVU game. Won't happen.
Calamari41
41 > 38
This is supposedly an image from one of the games so it looks like it's somewhat of a big deal:
Imagine being one of the guys in that picture and RSVPing "yes" to a wedding which you know takes place on a game day during the playoff season of your sport.
While it's shitty to RSVP for something like a wedding and then not show up without a good reason, and also poor planning to RSVP for something when you might be able to foresee conflicting obligations, playing in a fairly big match seems like it might qualify as a good reason and be something the couple should forgive of their friends. 15-20 people out of 130 not showing up shouldn't exactly ruin the wedding.
Now, if the couple is out additional costs that would have been borne by these guests—the cost for a room?—then I'd say it's mostly on the guests that RSVP'ed that then didn't show to compensate the couple, either by paying the cost for the room anyway, or at least giving an extra-generous wedding gift. I wouldn't say the venue is really obligated to do anything, given that they're just sticking to the agreed-upon terms. (It would be nice of them give a discount, of course, but I wouldn't say they're obligated or assholes if they don't or anything.)
(If the couple is complaining about costs for things like food or drink that will now simply go unconsumed, then I'd say they should consider those sunk costs since they're paying the same regardless of who attends. Again, maybe a justification for a extra-generous gift from the no-shows.)
Now, if the couple is out additional costs that would have been borne by these guests—the cost for a room?—then I'd say it's mostly on the guests that RSVP'ed that then didn't show to compensate the couple, either by paying the cost for the room anyway, or at least giving an extra-generous wedding gift. I wouldn't say the venue is really obligated to do anything, given that they're just sticking to the agreed-upon terms. (It would be nice of them give a discount, of course, but I wouldn't say they're obligated or assholes if they don't or anything.)
(If the couple is complaining about costs for things like food or drink that will now simply go unconsumed, then I'd say they should consider those sunk costs since they're paying the same regardless of who attends. Again, maybe a justification for a extra-generous gift from the no-shows.)
I'd like to know what the connection to this team the bride and groom have. It seems hard to believe they just happen to be friends with all these people who make up a single sports team. It makes me think the bride and groom had to know this was possible and maybe talked about it with these guests beforehand. I wonder if they basically told these players to go ahead and rsvp, and if they ended up cancelling to play a match, something would get worked out with the hotel. But when that didn't happen, this story came about. Just seems impossible that this came out of nowhere like she is trying to suggest.
Marty Chinn
Member
Wedding invitations go out months in advance and while the general timing of playoffs is known, whether you're in it and the exact schedule of how the playoffs are going to be are probably not known at the time. Also, it would seem like it's not just one or a couple people who didn't know this would happen, but the entire team.
It's an amateur sport, the guys at the very top of the game who play in games and stadiums like this are also amateur. Just for clarity this match won't be taking place in that big stadium, it's at a lower level.
It's not really sports teams you don't get, it's GAA you don't get (I'm assuming you're not Irish). These clubs are at the absolute heart of rural communities.
Mr Fahrenheit
Member
If you're inviting basically an entire sports team to your wedding then you're probably aware of when they were playing/had the possibility to be playing. So maybe next time if you're really set on having these people come you should pick a better date.
If you're on a sports team and get invited to a wedding on a day you have to/might have to play, then maybe you shouldn't RSVP since that's meant to signify you're definitely coming.
Just sounds like a whole group of people who are bad at planning.
If you're on a sports team and get invited to a wedding on a day you have to/might have to play, then maybe you shouldn't RSVP since that's meant to signify you're definitely coming.
Just sounds like a whole group of people who are bad at planning.
Why not both? The semi final is gonna be what 2 hours max? Go to the game, miss the ceremony, go and have drinks at night and celebrate with the happy couple.
edit - just read the article, they arent pissed at their friends they are pissed at th ehotel for charging them for the full team. Can see both points of view tbh.
edit - just read the article, they arent pissed at their friends they are pissed at th ehotel for charging them for the full team. Can see both points of view tbh.
Honestly, this isn't relevant. If there's a decent chance you will have to miss a wedding for an event you know could be scheduled during the wedding, you do not RSVP. It's that simple. The only exception is if you discussed it with the bride and groom beforehand and got some kind of approval for RSVPing even if you know you may have to cancel at the last minute.
Skellig Gra
Member
DonÂ’t really know the logistics. We know the wedding is in Kildare which is an hour outside Dublin. The match could be on the other side of the country though.
This is actually irrelevant.
The hotel require 130 guests paid for minimum in order to host a wedding. All those guys tell the couple that they aren't going, the numbers attending fall below 130, she still has to pay for them if she wants to hold her wedding in that venue.
I'd say the likelihood is the game is on the Sunday, going to a wedding party the night before would be out of the question.
Marty Chinn
Member
I think it's somewhat relevant because having the whole team RSVP and then cancel rather than one or a few people cancel speaks largely of how things went down.
Also this, which I pointed out in my previous post.
This is supposedly an image from one of the games so it looks like it's somewhat of a big deal:
Yeah its like one of the main Irish national sports and it's the semi finals. Its like Steph Curry bowing out of the playoffs to go to a mates wedding, not gonna happen. But if you read the article I dont get the impression that the couple are annoyed with the friends for missing it, they are annoyed at the hotel for charging them an exra ÂŁ2k for not meeting the minimum guest requirement. Seems a bit shitty on the hotels part but I can see their point too.
You just described exactly why it's relevant. Are you this dense?
But what I said has to do with RSVPing in general, not even necessarily the facts of this story. You couldn't botch a reply more if you tried.
Calamari41
41 > 38
I see where you're coming from, but to me all it speaks to is how little faith they all had in their abilities, and that none of them can competently make plans. You're right that we don't know if they knew the exact dates of playoff games at the time the invitations went out, but they certainly knew that it this is when the playoffs would be going on. If playing in the post season games is more important than the wedding, which is fine, then you RSVP "no."
I missed one of my best friends' destination weddings because I knew when the invitations went out that my son would be six months old at the time, and I had no clue if he would be good to travel. So I said no, with the explanation. It turned out that he would have been fine to go, but I still made the right decision at the time. Far worse would be to leave my friend hanging with a last second cancellation.
But that wasn't the point of your post.
Marty Chinn
Member
I'm not sure why it's shitty on the hotel when that was one of agreements to booking the venue. They agreed to it and signed a contract. They knew full well going into it what it meant.
I think you're missing the point. They booked the place knowing full well this was part of the conditions. They did that BEFORE they sent out invitations let alone had RSVPs. They needed 130 rooms regardless if they knew they were going to have 130 people booking rooms.
But it was because it's speaking to the behavior where 100% of the people enacted the same behavior instead of a few.
Skellig Gra
Member
Fair point
It's not like I'm asking for much.
Calamari41
41 > 38
Like I said before, I see where you're coming from and you do have valid points even if I disagree, but just because a group of people all make a decision doesn't mean its a good one.
Soapbox Killer
Grand Nagus
Sports! Also just a heads up dont get married on a Sunday between September and February in you live in the states.
Sweet personal attack, you're so good at the internet.
Now, do you think she's sending out wedding invites without a venue booked?
bennywhatever
Member
Are they in different towns? I mean, can the players not just go to both the game and the wedding, and see if the venue can work with the couple to postpone by a couple hours or something?
I think it's just a shitty situation on both sides tbh.
I think it's just a shitty situation on both sides tbh.
Marty Chinn
Member
In hindsight, sure, it looks bad on the surface. However, you're having to assume 100% of the people involved are assholes or you have to guess that there is something else involved that we don't know which would explain why 100% of the people involved resulted in the same behavior. I'm thinking it's more likely the latter rather than the former.
Calamari41
41 > 38
If the venues in Ireland are anything like the ones in California, the booking of the venue and the booking of rooms are completely separate transactions with different deadlines. I didn't need to make a decision on the booking of rooms at my venue for months after the RSVPs even came back and the venue deposit had been long since cashed.
I mean, when it comes down to it they probably all talked about it and agreed on a course of action. I don't think they decided to cancel completely independently.
You don't choose to RSVP based on whether or not it's going to affect the wedding contract. So whether or not these people knew for sure they would have to attend the game is irrelevant.
GeordieMark
Member
Lol. Sarcasm or massively hypocritical about who is obnoxious?
Punchy4486
Banned
I'm actually in a similar situation at the moment where I had an international wedding and am now having a US Reception months later for those who couldn't make it. Our restaurant required a minimum of 120 guests to book the whole place (otherwise customers could come in and out). However due to a number of circumstances, we overestimated and now have about 100 confirmed guests.
I'm in the awkward situation now of wondering if 2 weeks before the wedding I can just ask some more distant friends if they'd like to come (which means they'd know they are just there to fill a seat of free food and drinks) or skip the awkwardness of that invite and just eat the cost of the 20 empty "seats".
I wouldn't expect gifts from these "extra guests" but I still feel some people, no matter how distant our relationships, might be offended if I just said: "Hey we were a bit off with our numbers and were a few under the minimum our venue requires, so I was wondering if you wanted to come and enjoy some free food and drinks and celebrate our wedding in 2 weeks, no gift expected."
Guess this thread is a good place to ask peoples' opinions, since it's a related topic.
I'm in the awkward situation now of wondering if 2 weeks before the wedding I can just ask some more distant friends if they'd like to come (which means they'd know they are just there to fill a seat of free food and drinks) or skip the awkwardness of that invite and just eat the cost of the 20 empty "seats".
I wouldn't expect gifts from these "extra guests" but I still feel some people, no matter how distant our relationships, might be offended if I just said: "Hey we were a bit off with our numbers and were a few under the minimum our venue requires, so I was wondering if you wanted to come and enjoy some free food and drinks and celebrate our wedding in 2 weeks, no gift expected."
Guess this thread is a good place to ask peoples' opinions, since it's a related topic.
Clockwork5
Member
This is amateur soccer game I have been preparing for my entire life.
I'll be at your next wedding, I promise.
I'll be at your next wedding, I promise.
I'm in the process of arranging my own wedding at the moment so I know it depends on the venue. Some smaller ones expect your to book out the hotel. I've actually stayed in the place this story is around and it's pretty big so I doubt it's a condition.
The issue here isn't the rooms though it's that she's paid for dinner for all these guests. But she'd have to pay for at least 130 people regardless, doesn't matter if 13 or 130 show up.
Marty Chinn
Member
Well it's not just the cancellation, but also the act of RSVPing as well, which they all did.
Consider it a sunk cost. You were going to pay for that amount of food one way or another. 2 weeks is awful short notice, so I think I'd lean on just not inviting someone at the last minute which will make it less awkward and eat the cost you were going to pay anyway.
Calamari41
41 > 38
If you weren't already doing +1s for people, I would start opening that up. If not, I would personally just eat the cost. Too awkward for me to invite people when its clear that they're "oh shit" additions. With the price the same either way, I'd rather have the empty seats.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
+1 to the playing sports over going to a wedding.
The Lamonster
Member
Shitty friends.
This almost happened to me. I live in a huge baseball town and our team almost went to the world series during our wedding. I would've been pissed if any of my "friends" skipped my wedding to watch TV.
This almost happened to me. I live in a huge baseball town and our team almost went to the world series during our wedding. I would've been pissed if any of my "friends" skipped my wedding to watch TV.
Try reading would you. The guests not going are playing in the match.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
So you're saying that something totally different didn't happen to you?
The more apt analogy would be if your friends missed your wedding because they were playing or coaching in the college football playoffs.
Voidwolf
Member
You could have wheeled in a couple of flat screens and shown the game at the reception, would have been the best wedding of their lives. Too bad your team didn't make it.
Calamari41
41 > 38
You're right, the article doesn't seem to talk about rooms at all.
Why are people talking about paid rooms in the thread?