Escape Goat
Member
Okay, dont ask me how I found this (the answer isnt as interesting as you might imagine, in fact, it had nothing to do with poop) but I thought I'd share with GAF.
Tina asks:
My question is not neccesarily about poop. But I have these red bumps that look like zits around my ass hole. They're even down by my legs. What are they and can they break while letting my load go?
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Tina,
Thanks for the question! I have never been troubled by ass zits, but I see many patients that have them.
Shave WITH the grain, never ever AGAINST the grain.
Some 80 grit wet-N-dry may work.
Rough them up with your kitchen cheese grater.
Lay off the anal.
If the above suggestions do not help, you can simply wash them with some acne soap, or show your ass to a dermatologist.
Phil C asks:
Hi PooNurse! One thing I desperately need to ask, and which the answer to will surely make my bowels move in a explosive manner, is: is the nice looking lady on the PooNurse link actually you?
Now, to the matter of poop. Well, when I go to the toilet, I always line the bottom of the toilet (the PooPool area) with toilet paper. I do it cos it prevents my poop, when it drops, from causing an enormous "splash!" Is this normal? Should I just let the inner PooAnarchic let rip and let the splash take care of itself?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Phil!
Thanks for making my day!
As I am really a labor and delivery nurse, you will find me located on the business end of the BabyChute, not the PooChute.
But thanks! (My avatar is a more realistic likeness....)
You have quite a novel approach to the "splashdown backwash" situation. Generally, at home I don't care about the splash. I consider it a bonus. But in public, that's a different story. I avoid the situation by not pooping in public at any cost.
Perhaps I shall now employ your makeshift safety net for poop when doing business on unfamiliar territory.
Thanks!
Emily asks:
Hi, ok, I know that this is gross, but I have heard that their is this "spot" in your bum, and if you hit it while you are having anal sex you uncontrolably defecate. Is this true?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Emily, Why, thanks for the question!
I must ask, do you WANT to poop so badly that you would resort to anal sex instead of simply improving your diet?
Anal sex, in and of itself, will usually stimulate a mild urge to poop, but it is easily suppressed if you aren't having sex on the can at the time
Billy asks:
I've noticed some of my poop looking like popular religious figures, but my digital cam never captures it properly. How can I increase my photo quality?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Billy,
Thanks for the question!
How I admire you artistic types! My poop, no matter how hard I try, only looks like logs. Sometimes it is runny, though. But never does it look like popular religious figures.
Perhaps you should take some sculpting classes. I imagine a constipated crap would make for better cohesiveness, and you could simply (while some would consider it cheating) form a "Pope Poop" after the fact rather than trying to twist your colon whilst the deed is in progress.
Skillfully done, few would be able to tell the difference even with the cheapest of digital cameras.
Send the pictures! I'm sure Dave will put them right on the front page!
Owen asks:
My girlfriend can't poop outside of her home or apartment at school. Is there anything I can do to help her along and also what are the harms, so she knows, of going days without passing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Owen,
Thanks for the question!
But now, alone in the house, the urge to poop returned. I recognized that there was no way I could defeat this urge for 2 more days. I would have to go. As there was no one home, I felt I could accomplish my mission unheard, unseen, and unsmelled.
I unloaded a very unfeminine log in a noisy, smelly, yet satisfying manner. I had to use copious amounts of TP to clean up the aftermath. (after all, I'M not paying for it, right?) As soon as I flushed, I knew there was going to be trouble. It wouldn't go down! Damn low flow toilets...they should be banned, I say. I didn't panic immediately. Surely people who had such a nice vacation home would have a plunger somewhere! I searched high and low. No dice. No plunger anywhere. I moved into survival mode, as they would be returning soon. I resorted to something I had had to do years before in a similar situation. Locating the closet, I selected a sturdy coathanger that I thought suitable for the job. Steeling myself for the task at hand, I set to work.
Yes, I stirred and chopped up the turd/toilet paper soup up into manageable (I hoped) pieces. I gave a test flush. The water rose, swirled slightly, and receded a little. Most of the bigger pieces went on to their watery graves, but there was still evidence left over. I kept at it methodically, chopping and flushing, until at last there was no more brown to be seen. The toilet still wasn't flushing right, but at least no one would be able to pin it on ME, which is the whole point. I thought about what to do with the coat hanger, and decided that it wouldn't be right to simply put it back with my fecal molecules still on it, so I took it outside and threw it in a large snowdrift. I figured by the time the snow melted, no one would be able to link it to us.
I assumed an innocent pose on the couch, watching TV, when the group returned. We went out to dinner eventually, and returned quite late. As luck would have it, Mr. Poonurse was the first to use the commode when we got back. YES. He was taking a dump! I heard the toilet flush, and heard him say "Oh, shit". He ran to get me, and I acted appropriately outraged that he had clogged up these nice people's toilet. I made him go ask them for a plunger, which they had to go out and BUY, or no one would have been able to go to the bathroom.
Serves them all right, in my mind. #1--I don't like snowmobiling. And, #2--everyone should have a plunger.
So tell your girlfriend not to trust toilets away from home. They can force you to do sickening things.
Tina asks:
My question is not neccesarily about poop. But I have these red bumps that look like zits around my ass hole. They're even down by my legs. What are they and can they break while letting my load go?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tina,
Thanks for the question! I have never been troubled by ass zits, but I see many patients that have them.
Shave WITH the grain, never ever AGAINST the grain.
Some 80 grit wet-N-dry may work.
Rough them up with your kitchen cheese grater.
Lay off the anal.
If the above suggestions do not help, you can simply wash them with some acne soap, or show your ass to a dermatologist.
Phil C asks:
Hi PooNurse! One thing I desperately need to ask, and which the answer to will surely make my bowels move in a explosive manner, is: is the nice looking lady on the PooNurse link actually you?
Now, to the matter of poop. Well, when I go to the toilet, I always line the bottom of the toilet (the PooPool area) with toilet paper. I do it cos it prevents my poop, when it drops, from causing an enormous "splash!" Is this normal? Should I just let the inner PooAnarchic let rip and let the splash take care of itself?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Phil!
Thanks for making my day!
As I am really a labor and delivery nurse, you will find me located on the business end of the BabyChute, not the PooChute.
But thanks! (My avatar is a more realistic likeness....)
You have quite a novel approach to the "splashdown backwash" situation. Generally, at home I don't care about the splash. I consider it a bonus. But in public, that's a different story. I avoid the situation by not pooping in public at any cost.
Perhaps I shall now employ your makeshift safety net for poop when doing business on unfamiliar territory.
Thanks!
Emily asks:
Hi, ok, I know that this is gross, but I have heard that their is this "spot" in your bum, and if you hit it while you are having anal sex you uncontrolably defecate. Is this true?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Emily, Why, thanks for the question!
I must ask, do you WANT to poop so badly that you would resort to anal sex instead of simply improving your diet?
Anal sex, in and of itself, will usually stimulate a mild urge to poop, but it is easily suppressed if you aren't having sex on the can at the time
Billy asks:
I've noticed some of my poop looking like popular religious figures, but my digital cam never captures it properly. How can I increase my photo quality?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Billy,
Thanks for the question!
How I admire you artistic types! My poop, no matter how hard I try, only looks like logs. Sometimes it is runny, though. But never does it look like popular religious figures.
Perhaps you should take some sculpting classes. I imagine a constipated crap would make for better cohesiveness, and you could simply (while some would consider it cheating) form a "Pope Poop" after the fact rather than trying to twist your colon whilst the deed is in progress.
Skillfully done, few would be able to tell the difference even with the cheapest of digital cameras.
Send the pictures! I'm sure Dave will put them right on the front page!
Owen asks:
My girlfriend can't poop outside of her home or apartment at school. Is there anything I can do to help her along and also what are the harms, so she knows, of going days without passing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Owen,
Thanks for the question!
But now, alone in the house, the urge to poop returned. I recognized that there was no way I could defeat this urge for 2 more days. I would have to go. As there was no one home, I felt I could accomplish my mission unheard, unseen, and unsmelled.
I unloaded a very unfeminine log in a noisy, smelly, yet satisfying manner. I had to use copious amounts of TP to clean up the aftermath. (after all, I'M not paying for it, right?) As soon as I flushed, I knew there was going to be trouble. It wouldn't go down! Damn low flow toilets...they should be banned, I say. I didn't panic immediately. Surely people who had such a nice vacation home would have a plunger somewhere! I searched high and low. No dice. No plunger anywhere. I moved into survival mode, as they would be returning soon. I resorted to something I had had to do years before in a similar situation. Locating the closet, I selected a sturdy coathanger that I thought suitable for the job. Steeling myself for the task at hand, I set to work.
Yes, I stirred and chopped up the turd/toilet paper soup up into manageable (I hoped) pieces. I gave a test flush. The water rose, swirled slightly, and receded a little. Most of the bigger pieces went on to their watery graves, but there was still evidence left over. I kept at it methodically, chopping and flushing, until at last there was no more brown to be seen. The toilet still wasn't flushing right, but at least no one would be able to pin it on ME, which is the whole point. I thought about what to do with the coat hanger, and decided that it wouldn't be right to simply put it back with my fecal molecules still on it, so I took it outside and threw it in a large snowdrift. I figured by the time the snow melted, no one would be able to link it to us.
I assumed an innocent pose on the couch, watching TV, when the group returned. We went out to dinner eventually, and returned quite late. As luck would have it, Mr. Poonurse was the first to use the commode when we got back. YES. He was taking a dump! I heard the toilet flush, and heard him say "Oh, shit". He ran to get me, and I acted appropriately outraged that he had clogged up these nice people's toilet. I made him go ask them for a plunger, which they had to go out and BUY, or no one would have been able to go to the bathroom.
Serves them all right, in my mind. #1--I don't like snowmobiling. And, #2--everyone should have a plunger.
So tell your girlfriend not to trust toilets away from home. They can force you to do sickening things.
