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Suomi, Mitä helvettiä?

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Kenka

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I started another thread about how cool the finnish language sounds but there is quite a gem on Youtube that kinda lists funny swearing expression in Finnish, but some are just downright weird. "Growing a dick on your fronthead?" Dude.

It starts with basic stuff before getting in uncharted territories of profanity and wtf-ness, like, seriously:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD2bPcZdE5Y

Now, I wonder what Suomi-GAF has to say about that but some of those expressions that seem to come straight from Hell. How can you explain why some guys in your country ask you to "go and put a cunt on his/her head" ? Or to not be able to make a "horse's ass" out of any situation ?

I am totally lost in that video.
 
When you accidentally click Suomi on a dvd/blu ray and have no idea how to change language again is the fucking worst, all other languages it's at least somewhat guessable. Telling people not to be an horse ass doesn't sound that weird, but a dick growing out of your head is... Kind of weird, feel like we need Eggman in here to explain.
 
Koska haista vittu.


Serious reply: In Finland. swearing is pretty common, so hearing a word like "cunt" doesn't make you want to wash your ears with poison so you have to take it up a notch. Something like "vedä vittu päähäsi" (the cunt one mentioned in the OP) isn't that bad either. Actually, that might come from TV/Radio show or it might have been popularized by one.
 
PetriP-TNT said:
Koska haista vittu.


Serious reply: In Finland. swearing is pretty common, so hearing a word like "cunt" doesn't make you want to wash your ears with poison so you have to take it up a notch. Something like "vedä vittu päähäsi" (the cunt one mentioned in the OP) isn't that bad either. Actually, that might come from TV/Radio show or it might have been popularized by one.
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I'm okay with swearing but the children swear a lot more than in my days. When I was in elementary school almost no one used swear words, but these days I am always hearing a little kiddo yelling "CUNT"! And then some kids just run around yelling, nothing intelligent of course, more like some ape-like "HUUUUUURGGGH"-sounds.

I think it's probably all the energy drinks all elementary kids drink these days. Every time I pass by my local store there a gang of kids with with a dozen cans of energy drinks. What the hell, man! They don't need those drinks, those lazy fucks. They just sit on the asphalt, listen to some shitty Finnish hip hop and drink, and swear and make animal-like noises.

"vedä vittu päähäsi" (the cunt one mentioned in the OP)
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I think that's a pretty new one. Heard it the first time this year.

Finns are pretty lax about swearing. You can hear cunts fly in prime time tv and no one takes any offence.

---

I read Richard Morgan's Black man a while a go and that book contained a hilarious amount of swearing. One page could have 15 fucks. The issue, though, was that translation of those swear words was piss poor. I take it, the only swear word the book has is "fuck" because the only swear word the translator used was "vittu" "cunt". The book was great but unintentionally hilarious because of that.

\rambling
 
Finnish curses are awesome.

A personal favourite of mine is "suksi vittuun", which basically means "fuck off." The literal translation is "go and ski into a cunt," though. :lol
 
I generally dislike how constricted I feel trying to express myself in Finnish as opposed to English, but swearing has never been an issue. Our swearing culture is definitely pretty imaginative.
 
Mitä vittua me ny tehtiin perkele?

E: vedä vittu päähäs is at least from the late 90s/early 2000s.
E2: Atruvius when did you grow up? I was born in 89 and all the kids in my class cursed like sailors from class 3 onwards.
 
Antti said:
I generally dislike how constricted I feel trying to express myself in Finnish as opposed to English, but swearing has never been an issue. Our swearing culture is definitely pretty imaginative.
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Definetly. I feel English has far more nuanced and more adjectives etc for communication... but swearing in English is just plain boring.
Finnish? Nothing beats "PERKELE". And the rest can be be pretty creative as you say.

Haven't heard "vedä vittu päähäsi" before though. But then me and my friends don't generally swear that much.
 
Tacitus_ said:
Mitä vittua me ny tehtiin perkele?

E: vedä vittu päähäs is at least from the late 90s/early 2000s.
E2: Atruvius when did you grow up? I was born in 89 and all the kids in my class cursed like sailors from class 3 onwards.
Click to expand...

Started elementary school in 2000. Everyone in my class had a very peaceful character to them, they wouldn't swear, or yell much. I don't think anyone of us even got any detention, well until another class was merged into ours. That's when we got some wilder people.

Or maybe I just have some rose-tinted glasses...
 
Fraeon said:
Well, there are rules. Just that there are very few exceptions to those rules.

"hernekeitto" is the only that comes to mind, really.
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So how the hell is that meant to be pronounced then? I just read and say it like any other Finnish word.

"Paskanmarjat" and "vitut" (both bullshit) are also favourites of mine, make zero sense literally translated into English.
 
Tacitus_ said:
Finnish has really few pronunciation rules. It's the grammar that's hard.
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se on vaan ihan vitun vaikeeta =/

Fluent speaker, just started practicing grammar again after 10 years of not practicing and writing like shit =/
Doesn't help that the difference between writing properly in Finnish and how you write to friends feels a lot bigger than in other languages...
 
Atruvius said:
Started elementary school in 2000. Everyone in my class had a very peaceful character to them, they wouldn't swear, or yell much. I don't think anyone of us even got any detention, well until another class was merged into ours. That's when we got some wilder people.

Or maybe I just have some rose-tinted glasses...
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Could just be that my class was special. We did do bunch of crazy stuff...

Fraeon said:
Well, there are rules. Just that there are very few exceptions to those rules.

"hernekeitto" is the only that comes to mind, really.
Click to expand...

The only one I can remember off the top of my head is sydämeen (pronounced with two 'm's), but there's the saying, sydämeen mahtuu vain yksi ämmä.
 
SmartBase said:
So how the hell is that meant to be pronounced then? I just read and say it like any other Finnish word.
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You don't really pronounce it like "hernekeitto", do you? Everyone I know pronounces a space between as if there's a letter there that's been dropped. More like "hernekkeitto", that is. But yeah, these oddities are really really damn rare compared to just about any other language.
 
Fraeon said:
You don't really pronounce it like "hernekeitto", do you? Everyone I know pronounces a space between as if there's a letter there that's been dropped. More like "hernekkeitto", that is. But yeah, these oddities are really really damn rare compared to just about any other language.
Click to expand...

Yeah, glottal stops abound in Finnish.

Another awesome phrase is "kusta kaikkien muroihin", or to piss in everyone's cereal. It means doing something that messes things up for everyone, often for short-term personal gain.
 
Fraeon said:
You don't really pronounce it like "hernekeitto", do you? Everyone I know pronounces a space between as if there's a letter there that's been dropped. More like "hernekkeitto", that is. But yeah, these oddities are really really damn rare compared to just about any other language.
Click to expand...

Yeah now that I think about it I suppose I say it like there's a space between the the words.
 
Tacitus_ said:
E: vedä vittu päähäs is at least from the late 90s/early 2000s.
Click to expand...


It's older than that. I remember hearing it even earlier than that. Early 90s, I think. It was a bit different though, and more bizarre if you think about it: "vedä kumivittu päähäs ja pakene vuorille". It's so weird I assume it's from a TV-show or something.
 
Yeah the full _version_ I usually hear is ''Vedä vittu päähän ja pakene vuorille''. Literally ''Put a cunt over your head and escape to the mountains.'' I love it lol. I have no idea where that came from tho but it is surprisingly common.
 
The 3 things I was taught in Finnish when I went there was 'vittu' 'perkele' and 'satana'. I remember hearing a lot of kids using 'vittu'.

It is such a beautiful language. Even swearing sounds pretty. It's a bastard to learn though. Such long words!
 
Napalm_Frank said:
Yeah the full _version_ I usually hear is ''Vedä vittu päähän ja pakene vuorille''. Literally ''Put a cunt over your head and escape to the mountains.'' I love it lol. I have no idea where that came from tho but it is surprisingly common.
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That's fucking beautiful.
 
Here's another great and classic Finnish swearing video, which portrays the frustration of a common workman.

NYT VITUTTAA..SAATANA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fqC8jV6ZJs

My father used to say "vittua käteen" when something went wrong, which translates "cunt to hand", but like usual it sounds odd in English.

There are also those somewhat profane curse phrases, like "kristuksen vittu" = "christ's cunt", which are perhaps more common in the northern Finland.

As for the grammar, I personally have sometimes problems with what preposition to use in English; in/to/on/at/from... as there are no such things in the Finnish language. The word itself changes according to the sentence, like this:
  • Go to the market = mennä torille
  • Leave from the market = lähteä torilta
  • Located in the market = sijaitsee torilla
  • Fish is on sale at the market = kalaa on myynnissä torilla
 
Here's some old Finnish proverbs.

Tyttö nuorena, kahvi kuumana.
(A girl should be young, the coffee hot)

Ku torutaan ni kuuntele, ku pieksetään ni kääntele, ku kiitetään ni piereskele.
(When upbraided, listen, when beaten, turn, when praised, fart.)

Parraton suutelu on kuin suolaton muna.
(A beardless kiss is like a saltless egg.)

Miehen haavat rinnassa, akkain takapuolessa.
(His wounds on the chest, hers on the buttocks.)

Kyllä siinä melua syntyy, kun kaksi hullua yhteen tulee.
(There will be noise, when two madmen meet.)

Jonka mesi kielessä, sen on myrkky mielessä.
(Nectar on the tongue, poison in the mind.)

Miehen kauneus ja makkaran vääryys, ei se mitään meinaa.
(A man's beauty and the curvature of the sausage, neither mean anything.)

Kuu on nuorten miesten aurinko.
(The moon is a young men's sun.)
 
Couple of profane ones that came to mind. Don't really know how common they are though :P


"Pyörii kuin hullun mulkku mielettömän perseessä"
(Spins like a lunatic's dick in a mad man's ass.)


"Pyörii kuin puolukka pillussa"
(Spins like a lingonberry in a pussy.)



Doesn't make any sense but pretty funny :P


Edit:
And the video in the OP is pretty funny
 
I like that most Finnish proverbs roll off the tongue really well. Something like "pyörii kuin puolukka pillussa" is just really fun to say out loud.
 
despire said:
"Pyörii kuin hullun mulkku mielettömän perseessä"
(Spins like a lunatic's dick in a mad man's ass.)


"Pyörii kuin puolukka pillussa"
(Spins like a lingonberry in a pussy.)
Click to expand...

Just heard another version from a friend of mine.

Pyörii kuin ryssä Anttilassa.
(Spins like a Russian in the supermarket.)

Anttila is an equivalent to Wal-Mart over here.
 
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